This is the attempt of a translation. I used an app for this as languages are not necessarily my strong point. Please report back to me if I should continue with the translation or if it doesn't make sense in terms of content.

I hope you enjoy reading

In the middle of the night, as the world sinks into darkness, scattered lights cast their warm yellow light into the shadows, illuminating the night. Regina, the mayor of the small town of Storybrooke, sits on the windowsill lost in thought as silent little tears find their way out of her eyes and gently trickle down her body.

Tormented by her fears, Regina, as in many nights before, finds no sleep.

I am afraid of still being the embodiment of the Evil Queen in people's eyes and of having to suffer another loss of a loved one.

Every day death comes a little closer, I can feel it, all around me, even in my heart and soul.

Death hovers over me like a black, billowing cloud of smoke as individual threads move down in my direction, eating away at me. But they do not take me. Each time, take someone close to me, someone I fear losing. My father and my first great love Daniel.

Regina feels the pain in her heart, soul and body. She thinks her whole life is pain, agony and suffering. Next to it is anger, it is a big part of her personality, although often hidden in her subconscious. She decided for herself that it was a waste of time to indulge in anger, as it would only add to the pain. She believed she knew she would not endure any more suffering, because she too is only human and as such she must breathe to stay alive, to survive.

The pain, makes my breath stop, makes my heart stand still and my soul dwindle. Fear paralyzes me, freezes me. It is my constant companion, my anchor, my essence.

If it weren't for fear, I don't know if I could hold on. From a purely physical point of view, I am still alive, but a large part of my soul has already died. The soul, however, cannot be seen, and so it is that the world thinks I am fine.

The people of Storybrooke believed her, because she changed, for her son, Henry and his birth mother, Emma. For a long time she couldn't admit it to herself, but Emma had played a large part in making Regina truly want to change. Not just to be a better mother to Henry than Emma was in his eyes.

When Emma was brought to Storybrooke by Henry a year ago, Regina thought that Emma would take him away from her and provoked her, trying to run her out of town with dirty tricks and gradually losing her son, who only wanted to know his birth mother. And Emma? She just wanted to be there for her son, as it should have been when he was born. She wanted to make up for her mistake of giving her son up for adoption without separating him from Regina. Unfortunately, Regina had not been able to see that Emma was incredibly grateful to her, because she is a good mother and has given her son a wonderful home.

Regina had made many mistakes since Emma's arrival in this town, and yet Emma was making an effort to stay nice, had defended Regina from the townspeople, and had also gotten Henry to give her another chance.

She probably wouldn't admit it, but Emma had been creeping into her thoughts for a long time, as she had that night.

When Emma looks at me with her beautiful green eyes, she sees me, not my past, just me. I can always count on Emma, she was always there when I needed help, whether I wanted it or not. She is stunning, so helpful and empathetic. Every time she smiles at me, I feel a strange tingle in my stomach...

I shake my head to disabuse myself of my thoughts, how could Emma ever sneak into my thoughts again and yet I was thinking about my fears to begin with? I can only think of one answer...

Emma is my light in the darkness, when she is with me, my fears disappear. She has won my heart over. Emma is also the one who notices that I'm not doing well, who doesn't buy my "perfect world". She often asks me if I want to talk to her about it, but I block every time. Probably out of fear.

If I would talk to her, I would let her get to me. I would allow myself to reveal to her that she is my weakness... I don't want to lie to her, but she can't know, we just became friends, I don't want to lose her right away

She simply did not believe that Emma could return her feelings. Regina was lost in her thoughts for a while before she put her tired body into the warm bed and fell into a restless sleep.