Ch9:

"So you still haven't told me why Mary isn't talking."

"It's a long story. I doubt you know anything about it."

"Oh, come on. I care about Mary very much. If something is bothering her the I would want to console her." At this point, Pan was getting a little irritated. He was nibbling on Lyra's fingernail and squirming in her arms. She had wanted to talk to Pan for some time, but she couldn't let this stranger know about daemons.

"Fine," said Rodger. "It started almost six years ago.

Mary had just come back from a trip to… well, I don't really know where." From the other worlds, though Lyra. "Once she had returned, it seemed hard to revert to her normal routine. By the way, this is all second hand, so take some of this with a grain of salt. Anyways, she came back with a boy." Will. "She seemed to care very much for this boy. This boy was very shy and seemed to just skulk around at school. But he and Mary shared a strange bond, almost like they were both privy to some reality shattering secret. This bound them together. They lived together for a few years, but Will, the boy, realized that Mary was barely making ends meat to support herself, so he decided to move away with his mother. His mother was suffering from an abnormal case of PTSD and was in depression. Her husband had died." Come on, I know about his mother. What happens next? Lyra was going crazy waiting for more information about Will and Mary from Rodger. "Sadly she killed herself soon after they moved in to their new home. It was then Will's turn to be depressed. But it was short lived because he decided to do the noble thing and join the army. At only 16, they barely let him in, but seeing his amazing talents as a fighter, they had to.

"Mary didn't like this at all. She wanted him back in her life, to take care of him, because he was obviously vulnerable. She thought he was being coerced, but she accepted his decision because it seemed to make him happy. She feared for him every second. After a year in the army, Will joined an organization called the Global Vigilante Agency. That's where I met him. I was new and we were almost the same age. They paired us up, because there had to be two people to a mission. I never found out what Mary was doing during the year. Anyhow, Will and I became very good friends." Rodger was staring at the ground, lost in his own story. His calculative gaze was long gone, replaced with a strangely familiar misty-eyed half-awake distant look. But he was talking and Lyra hadn't been listening. She was thinking, Why does he seem so sober? "I remember how he always knew what to do. We had gone to Israel and escaped a near fatal encounter with some guys. We had called the rescue team but that would take some minuets. Will decided to trick me into leaving without him." No. This cant be true. It can't be real. "He was killed in action." Rodger saw Lyra's eyes welling up. "Did you know Will?"

Lyra felt fettered by her own deception: if she started to cry, she would have to reveal her covetousness for Will, but if she didn't, it would eat her up inside. She decided to tell a partial truth by saying, "I knew him in school, and…"

"Oh, I see. Well, that's mainly the reason that Mary isn't talking. She still hasn't come to terms with his death."

Pan was laying limp in her arms. Lyra's whole world seemed to change now that Will was gone. Nothing seemed to have its same brightness. The trees, the breeze, even the leaves under her feet all seemed to become inert, inane, and meaningless. She looked down at the one thing that seemed vibrant and animated, Pan. He was all she had left, along with memories: her mother and father, the feeling of calm when reading the altheometer, and Will. She was so entranced with her own thoughts; she didn't realize they had collided with a large road, paved with one smooth rock.

"It's not much farther, 10 minuets walk." Rodger looked at her with strange eyes, with care. "Are you alright, you seem melancholy?"

"No, I'm fine." She said, faking a bad smile. God, I can't even lie well anymore. "I'm just really tired."

"That's understandable. We can rest if you want?"

"No, let's keep moving." And she fell right back into lamenting for things lost, main topic of internal discussion being, of course, Will.

Will looked over at Lyra to see how she was doing. Hopefully she didn't love me too much. Obviously, she did love me that much. I could tell her; no I can't. The angel said she would have to find out on her own. If I tell to her… let's not dwell on it. I should console her: give her comforting words, something he told me about an old girlfriend. No, this moratorium is good. She needs to think. Suddenly Will sopped. Kirjava was close, he could feel her. He paused and tried a skill he was perfecting. He reached out with his mind to find Kirjava's, but then thought that it would be too conspicuous if he stopped and sudden had a pained look on his face, but he needed to know her story. He finally found it after some moments, and she let him in.

He blinked hard, trying his best to fake a headache. When he opened his eyes, he saw something he had coveted and cherished in his memories: Lyra's face. "Are you alright?"

"Ya, it's just a headache." He said, blinking hard again. "Come on, we're almost there." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small brown dart turning gold, and felt a flutter in his heart knowing that Kirjava had changed. He hated the feeling as much as she hated it, it was almost like re-coloring his soul.

After a short few more minuets of walking, they finally reached the car. By this time, Lyra was actually exhausted. She had forgotten how strenuous distance walking had been. As they rounded a corner Lyra saw a strange object: a silver monstrosity. It was resting on what appeared to be big black spheres. But Lyra knew better. She had seen this contraption a few times before and knew the name of it. She would call it a magnificent carriage, but knew it was a truck, and a very unassuming one at that. As she moved towards it, she saw a golden bolt fly out of the back of the truck, towards Rodger. Only as it drew closer did she realize it was a cat with gold, not blonde, hair, almost like her mothers.

The cat flew into Rodger's arms, and he held it close, whispering to it. Trying to sound incredulous, Lyra asked, "Are you talking to your cat?"

"Oh, well… Shit, I can't think of a reasonable explanation for it. In my defense, she talks back."

"What's her name?"

"Diane." He stroked her golden fur that he found quite foreign. "I've know her for two years."

"So around the same time you met Will? Did he show you to her?" she said as she approached him.

"Ya, how did you know?" Will was trying his best to seem puzzled. He was never able to lie to Lyra well.

She smiled broadly and her face lit up. Will would kill for that look for himself, but Rodger had to not recognize it. "Did he tell you what they were called?"

"Ya, daemons. He said that they were like your soul and they depicted what your personality was like."

"So Will told you everything about his past?" Lyra was dying to get out her real name. She wanted to stop lying and openly express how she felt, dislodged from everything real.

"Yes. How do you know about Will's past? I know you were his girlfriend at one point but I doubt he would trust an insignificant thing like a teenage sweetheart unless she was…" Acting the best he had ever acted, Will attempted to draw himself to an awesome conclusion. "You're not Lyra, are you? You can't be? You're from another world!" Rodgers face changed instantly, from convoluted deliberation to amazed realization.

She smiled subtly and nodded. "That's me."

"No."

"Yes."

"Impossible."

"It's true."

"Holy fuck!"

"I know. Now, I would really like to go meet Mary."

"Oh of course. I would never deny a guest of this world. How did you get here? I thought all the windows were closed by that angel."

"I'm actually not sure how I got here. From what I remember, I fell out of the sky." Lyra noticed that Rodger was looking at her strangely. "What?"

"No. it's just that ... you are exactly how Will described you." Lyra turned to face him squarely. Even though she had a lack of hygiene in the prison, she was as beautiful as ever. Will inspected her all the while wanting to reach out and touch her soft face. Wanting to break the silence, Will said, "So, should we get going?"

"Yes, yes please." They both climbed into the truck and started to drive off. While Lyra was still grieving, she didn't notice how Pan was looking at Rodger's daemon. Because daemons are always changing they are never deceived by appearances. Pan knew that, Kirjava knew that, but both Lyra and Will did not, having only known a few daemons in their lifetimes.