The Voice Inside My Head
Summary: AU One shot: He was never really much of anything to her. Their relationship could never be put into words. He was Clark's friend. He was the leader of the forming Justice League. He was her cousin's ex. He was her boss on a few odd jobs to pay the bills. His opinion never held any significance in her life. But soon he became her conscience, the voice inside of her head…one she could not escape from.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Smallville characters. They are property of DC comics and the CW. Story title is taken from the lyric of Blink 182's "Miss You." And one of Chloe's lines is taken from Plastique. In summary, I own nothing.
He couldn't believe it. When Clark told him the news about Chloe, he was baffled. For the first time in God only knows how long, he was speechless. There were no words in the English language that he could form to make sense of this. Chloe Sullivan was engaged to Jimmy Olsen of all people and Oliver Queen was for a loss of words. He was sitting in the Talon as his cup of coffee was getting colder by the second. Clark had long sense given up on his friend ever coming out of this stupor that he found himself in and went to congratulate the newly engaged couple.
Chloe was laughing at some insult Lois made on Clark's choice of flannel wear when she looked over at the blonde billionaire. She wondered what was going on behind his chocolate brown eyes. She felt a pair of eyes watching her and she turned to see Clark's concerned eyes. She felt like something was wrong with Oliver and seeing Clark confirmed her suspicion. Clark was about to excuse himself when Chloe signaled him to stay put. She turned around and noticed the door swinging closed. She walked quickly towards the door. When she reached outside she looked around for him. She noticed him briskly walking down the street to his Porsche. Chloe started walking, "Mr. Queen!" she yelled as she started running to catch up with his long strides. "Why did I have to wear these high heels today?" she cursed herself as she nearly stumbled. "Mr. Queen!" she yelled again. She silently cursed the mask hero as he did not stop or even slow down. "Mr. Queen!" she screamed, she was a few feet from him when she saw him slow down. She wasn't paying attention and tripped over her own two feet. She screamed and she prepared to brace herself hitting the concrete sidewalk. Instead of a hard ground, she was met with a two strong arms that caught her before she hit the ground.
Oliver was lost in his thought as he watched Jimmy with his hands all over her, smiling like an idiot. "He is the idiot," he mumbled to himself. But what made the sight hard to stomach was how dilutee happy Chloe was and how stupidly happy Lois and Clark was. He didn't know why it bothered his so much. Chloe was just his Sidekick and Watchtower. He never really took much notice with her until now. It wasn't that he was secretly in love with her and now discovering it when the amateur photographer proposed…it was something else. Something else about that picture that made him sick to him stomach. He couldn't stay in the place for one more minute. He couldn't be around so much fake people. He didn't even say good bye. He just walked out the door and quickly walked to his car. His mission was to get away from Smallville and Chloe Sullivan as quickly as possible. "How could she be so stupid!" he said to himself. He was so lost in his thoughts that hearing her scream startled him. For a superhero, he was really oblivious to the fact he was being followed by a petite blonde in the nosiest pair of heels known to man. His reflexes where quick to respond and he took one long stride and caught her before she hit the pavement. He lifted her up and turned her in his arms. He didn't even process the fact he was holding her in his arms until at least a minute had passed by. He awkwardly let go of her and stepped back, "Are you okay Sidekick?" he asked softly.
"Funny," she said, "I was about to ask you that exact same thing. What is doing on with you Mr. Queen?"
"I think we're on a first name basis by now," he responded, "don't you think?"
"You're not going to avoid by question Oliver" she said emphasizing his name, "so stop stalling."
"Want to go for a ride?"
"Oliver," she said with a sigh.
"When I form words for my thoughts," he said, "you'll be the first to know."
"Really?"
"Yes," he said, "I promise Sidekick." He hesitated for a second and she could see something on his face, "but for now, I need to get out of this place."
"Okay," she said, not knowing why she was going off with someone she never really spent any quality time with, "I'll go with you."
They got into the car and drove for miles. Oliver didn't have destination that could be seen when they reached and intersection. Chloe would observe him looking in all directions before deciding which was to turn. She wondered if he would remember the way back since she had lost track herself. Left, right, right, left, turn around and go right, straight, backwards, wait was it a left at Clark's old farmhouse or a right. She couldn't remember and didn't care. Something told her that tonight wasn't about having a direction; it was about getting lost in the darkness. The car came to a stop and Oliver quickly exited. Chloe watched him walk a few feet before sitting down on the hilltop. She noticed he was staring at the sky full of stars. Chloe got out of the car and walked towards him. "Is it safe to sit?" she joked.
"I won't stop you," Oliver said.
Chloe sat down and sat next to Oliver. She said there for two hours in silence. She would look over at him then back at the horizon. She was going to be patient. But her patience ran out a half in hour ago, she was about to say something when she heard him mumbled something. "What did you say?" she said.
"Don't marry him Chloe," Oliver said again, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Excuse me," she said, trying hard not to loose her temper. But who the hell did he think he was!
"Don't marry him Chloe," Oliver said, "You deserve better."
"Who the hell do you think you are!" she screamed at him. "So much for keeping my cool" she thought to herself.
"I'm you're…." He didn't know how to finish that sentence. Because who was he to her. They had an unconventional relationship but it was entirely theirs and theirs alone.
"I'm your what Oliver?" Chloe snapped, "What are we?"
"I don't know," he said unsure of himself. He composed his confidence before finishing his thought, "but all I know is that you can't marry him!"
"Why can't you be happy like Lois and Clark are?"
"Because they are imbeciles" Oliver hissed at her before standing up. He started to pace and it looked like he was a caged animal.
"Don't," she said standing up.
"And look at that ring," he said, "that's not a ring that is a Cracker Jack toy!"
"It's the story behind the ring that really makes it special," she said.
"Oh please," Oliver said, "that rings tells me it was a rash decision not something he thought about."
"Not everyone has billions lying around."
"It's not about the money…" Oliver said as he was getting frustrated with himself and his inability to truly express himself, "God you're infuriating!"
"I'm infuriating!" she screamed back, "That's like the pot calling the kettle black Oliver."
"Look Sidekick…"
"No you listen to me," Chloe said cutting him off, "I went away from a little while and he never gave up on me."
"You didn't just 'go away' Chloe," Oliver contradicted, "You were kidnapped and held prisoner and it was Jimmy Olsen that was the one who put you in the prison."
"Don't go there."
"Don't go where? The truth of what happened to you?" Oliver said, "I don't know how you could romance his betrayal like this but he's the reason why you were there. He was the one that gave you up instead of protecting you."
"He never gave up on me!" she yelled back at me.
"He gave up on you the moment he started spying on you," Oliver said, "I was the one that searched for you…found you." He took a deep breath and exhaled to give him time to reel in his emotions, "If you want someone who protected you than look no further than…"
"You?" she said sarcastically.
"I was going to say Clark but yeah me," Oliver said, "I gave so much to protect you Chloe. Jimmy Olsen took everything to protect himself."
"You don't know what I'm talking about…" she trailed off when her brain processed what she just said, "I meant," she said with more confidence than she was feeling at that moment, "you don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh I think you had it right the first time," Oliver said, "because if Jimmy was protecting you then he would have been in the prison, not you."
"He loves me." His words stung and she felt herself holing back the tears.
"He loves himself and only himself!" Oliver hissed at her, "Are you that desperate for love that you will settle for a man that will throw you to the wolves to save himself?" He felt her hand come across his face hard. He should have been prepared for that slap after making that comment.
"Don't you dare!"
"I'm sorry but it's the truth," he said taking a step back from the fiery blonde, "You deserve a great man that will protect you with all costs!"
"Stop it!" she said, "I'm not making a mistake!" She couldn't hold back the tears anymore as the tears started falling.
"Yes you are and deep down you know it!" Oliver countered.
"If this was a mistake then Clark would say something."
"Boyscout doesn't have the guts to say something," Oliver said, "because he lives in this delusion that as long as your happy it doesn't matter. If he was a true friend, he would be having this conversation with you…not me!"
"My friends are supporting me," Chloe said, "so whatever we are….its' not friends." Chloe starting walking and pulled out her phone, "Clark," she said, "come and get me. I'm by Potter's Hill." Within seconds Clark appeared.
"Are you okay," he said wiping her tears from her face. He looked at Oliver for an explanation but was greeted with the same silence and sullen face.
"Take me home Clark," she asked.
"Hate me all you want," Oliver said as Clark picked her up in his arms, "But deep down inside you know what I'm telling you is true!" He watched them disappear before his eyes. "Well that went great," he said to himself as he sat down again.
When Clark took her home he tried to get her to open up about what had happened but she wouldn't say a thing. He went back to the hill to find Oliver had left. Clark Kent's new mission was to track down Oliver for the truth. He had said something to Chloe that made her upset and he wondered what it was.
Six am the next morning Oliver Queen was greeted with one angry Chloe Sullivan who continually rang the buzzer until he let her into the building. "Not now Chloe," Oliver said, "I haven't even had my morning cup of coffee." He rubbed his stubble face. He wouldn't admit it to her but he couldn't get her hurt face out of his head. Why did he have to push it so far?
"Well tough luck," she said storming past him, "I couldn't sleep at all last night!"
"Coffee?" he said as he walked to the kitchen and grabbed a cup.
"Well it's the least you could do," she mumbled.
"If you're here for an apology," he said, "all you're going to get is this 'not an apology' cup of coffee." He said holding out a cup coffee.
"I can live with that," she said as she took the cup and drank it, "It's all your fault."
"What?"
"Me and Jimmy."
"Me and Jimmy what?" he asked.
"Me and Jimmy aren't together anymore," she choked out.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to his body and held her for a few moments of time, "What happened?" he asked.
"What happened?" she said as she pushed him away, "What happened! You happened!" she hissed at him,
"What did I do?"
"You did everything!" she said, "I couldn't sleep at all last night. All I could hear is your voice inside my head telling me I was making a mistake."
"Chloe…"
"All night, I couldn't sleep and this morning when Jimmy tired to kiss me…" she trailed off.
"What?" he asked. When she didn't say anything he repeated himself, "What happened?"
"I turned my head," she said as she was about started to tell the story.
Jimmy Olsen walked into the diner and saw Chloe sitting in a booth lost in her thoughts, "Hello fiancé," he said as he went in to kiss her lips. Chloe turned at the last second and he ended up kissing her cheek. "What's going on?"
"If there was a situation were you had to decide between me or you…"
"We're this coming from?"
"If someone was going to hurt one of us and made you choose," she asked, "who would you choose?" She didn't know why she was pushing this matter. It was like she wanted to prove Oliver wrong. To show him that Jimmy loves her and would choose her.
"Chloe you know what I would decided."
"Do I?"
"Where this coming from?" Jimmy asked defensively.
It was like that moment of clarity that Chloe realized that, "He's right."
"Who?"
"Does it matter," Chloe said slipping off her plastic ring and holding it out to him, "You choose yourself and left me for the wolves. You didn't protect me. You choose yourself. You've always chosen yourself."
"Chloe."
"I can't marry you," Chloe said, and when he wouldn't grab the ring she set it before him on the table.
"Who's the 'him' you're leaving me for?" Jimmy demanded.
"There is no one," Chloe said, "I'm doing this "because I choose me and the idea of him over me and you, the one that hurt me most time and time again." Chloe got up and walked out of the diner.
"I turned my head," she said in disbelief, "because your voice told me that he wasn't the one. That he would never choose me and I deserve someone that would have chosen me!"
"I'm so sorry Chloe," he said.
"No you're not," she said with a little laugh of disbelief.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that you're not marrying him Chloe because he's not the guy for you," Oliver explained, "but I am sorry that you're hurting."
"Why?"
"Why? Because what man in his right mind is fine with a crying woman in the room," he said confused.
"No I mean why of all the people in my life where you the one to talk to me about Jimmy," she said.
"Translation, why not Clark?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said remembering her supportive best friend with a sad smile.
"Probably because I had the least amount to loose," he said, "I don't know what we are Sidekick. I do know that I like having you in my life but I can't define us."
"Me either," she admitted.
"And I'm starting to think that is what makes us, us."
"We are quite unconventional," she said.
"But in all seriousness," he said as he sat down on the couch and patted the space next to him, "I couldn't sit back and watch you make this mistake." He watched her sit down next to him and look at him with her big blue eyes. "I didn't want you to settle for something that wasn't perfect…"
"There is no such thing as perfect?" she asked skeptically.
"Let me finish Sidekick," he said, "The perfect man for you, where your flaws and his flaws complement each other. In a sense, the best man for you."
"Okay," she said.
"Okay," he said.
"Can I have that hug now?" she said, "I'm a newly single woman," the tears quickly formed in her eyes and ran down her cheek, "whose heart had just been shattered."
"Any thing for you Sidekick," he said as he opened his arms and watched her slide right in. He leaned them back against the couch and pulled her closer. He kissed the top of her head and listened to her mourn a relationship that wasn't meant to be.
The End