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With a clearing of his throat, Chase focuses on a lone jack missing its partners and a rather miserable marble that's probably
With a clearing of his throat, Chase focuses on a lone jack missing its partners and a rather miserable marble that's probably rolled off onto the floor as a means of escape.
"House…."Chase finally looks up across the desk at House, his fingers dancing on his thighs in anxiety. "When you remember being with her, what do you feel?"
He could be honest. Tell him what he remembers is comfort, laziness, rest, even love. It's none of his business.
"Like I'm shooting up heroine rainbows."
"You know what I remember?"
The intensity of the look on his face, of the tone behind the words, makes House lean back slightly, almost as if waiting for the string to break.
"I remember feeling happy." His eyes flickering down to the floor for a brief second, Chase smiles softly. "Not always, but most times. She just had this way of lighting up your day."
"Oh, hell."
"What?" She asks innocently as she straddles him carefully on the sofa with a huge smile covering her face.
"You've been extra nice to me since you walked through my door."
"And you've been a grump since…well, always. I can't just be in a good mood?"
"You're cheery. I think it's contagious."
Cameron snorts as she grabs both his hands and toys with his fingers, forcing his gaze away from the television to focus on her slender digits stroking his softly. He briefly wonders why she constantly has to touch him, and why he lets her. Though the last answer is easy. He likes her touching him.
"Even if it were, you'd be the last person to be susceptible to it, so I think you'll be fine, Grinch."
House keeps watching her hands, concentrating on his tactile senses, enjoying a small moment for once.
"So, what's up? There's gotta be a reason for all this sickening joy. Cuddy die?"
"You're awful!" Cameron leans down, breaking his concentration as she catches his gaze. "I just feel happy today. That's not a crime no matter how many times you try to make me write a letter to our Congressmen."
She kisses him on his nose quickly, followed by on his cheek, then on his forehead, and by the time she reaches his chin, he's thoroughly annoyed. And she knows it. It's why she does it, a smile in between kisses even as he moves his head away from her silly actions. Feeling her laughing against his neck, he rolls his eyes, making sure she sees him do so.
"You know you like it." Cameron pinches his cheek and gets a slap on the hand which causes her to laugh louder.
"What does this have to do with anything?"
With a shake of his head, Chase stands, the energy roaming through his veins making him restless and the adrenaline gushing since he's decided to stay and fight. Pacing, he sticks his hands in the pockets of his scrub bottoms.
"You're a real son of a bitch. You know that?"
"Give me a moment to act surprised."
"And I thought I was the biggest asshole when I left her," he mutters as he turns his back to House, not quite wanting to see if this will make any difference when he's finished his mission, maybe not wanting to see it if it does.
"We'd been having problems for a while."
"Surprise, surprise."
"Don't, House." He finally turns around, his expression much more tired and drained than before, but a warning all the same. "Just let me…finish this."
Instead of telling Chase to make this less dramatic, he keeps his mouth shut, not quite sure if his attitude will match the intensity of hurt that filters through the surgeon's words, and sure enough that he needs to quench his curiosity.
"Her brother invited her stay in Missouri with him for a week. She thought we should go together, get away from here…."
Quietly this time, House interrupts the jittery long pause. "From me?"
Looking at House silently, Chase smiles without humor edging around his lips.
"Not everything's about you. As much as it is now, it wasn't then."
Chase picks a spot behind House's shoulder, satisfied enough that it at least looks like he's trying.
"I'd never seen her so…well, you know Cameron – No fun and all work. But she wasn't there. I don't think I'd loved her more than those first two days."
House barely listens as Chase continues on a sideways track of thought, fighting the urge to rub his forehead because he doesn't want to hear about Chase loving her. Instead, he swallows two vicodin before catching the tail end of a sentence.
"…was late. Her brother woke me up. I thought he was drunk since I couldn't make any sense of what he was saying, and then he practically dragged me out the bed by my hair out to the car. All I remember next…is seeing the light from the lamp post reflected off the windshield, the glare almost covering her face."
-(Chase)
He nearly trips on his way down the steps, his feet suddenly five sizes to large and his legs still numb from sleep. Her worry is evident in the frown on her forehead and the downward pulling of her mouth, and he has to fumble with the door handle three times before finally shoving himself in the back seat.
"What's wrong, Cameron?"
Craning his neck over the shoulder of his seat, he nearly jerks back as they slide into reverse. That's when he sees it. Her hands shaking against the light green towel she's halfway sitting on and halfway holding between her legs. And the blood, the dark blood that he tries to tell himself is just his bleary eyesight tricking him. It doesn't make sense.
"I don't know," she states softly, shaking her head as she looks down into her lap and swallows harshly. "I don't know. I really don't."
All he can think is that he's going to be sick. His breath burns his mouth as he drags his hand down her shoulder and arm, trying to comfort her, only to have her sit there as if he's not even here.
"Allison…."
There's a difference between knowing, and accepting, and he knows he's already one step ahead of her.
"She was bleeding. By the time we got to the hospital, there was nothing they could do. Not that they could've done anything to begin with."
Chase brings his hand to his mouth, feeling the pressure against his lips and finding it hard not to feel anything but pain. He shouldn't have to tell anyone this, let anyone see this, especially House.
"It was a spontaneous abortion." He looks at the man watching him from behind the desk, wanting to see any kind of emotion, and only finding surprise. It's not enough.
"She lost a nine week old fetus, House."
House blankly stares at Chase, not believing it for a long breath, not willing to accept the story as anything more than fiction and almost laughing at the sheer ludicrousness of it, except he can't. Because she'd never….There'd never been….And he'd left her...
"I don't believe you."
Chase's eyes suddenly darken, perturbed at the subtle accusation. "Yeah, you do. Still think you're the harmed party in all this?"
"Okay, so she miscarried. Sounds like nothing to do with me and more to do with you. You did say you were the one who left her."
Defensive, Chase clenches his mouth before speaking. "Yeah, I did. She never cried. Refused to talk to me about it, which is rather out of character for her. After a few months, I figured I'd tell her I wanted to try on purpose to get pregnant, and she said no.
"I don't know when I became you, but I left her on a Wednesday, telling her that I was ready to take the next step and she knew where to find me. I figured some time alone would maybe, put her back into shape, make her realize she wanted a family with me."
He pauses as he sits down in the chair again. "I was there for her, House, but I wasn't what she needed and I maybe I left too soon. I know I left too soon. There was just only so much rejection I could take. There's only so much rejection any one can take.
"So, why do you think she didn't tell you? Because she loves you? She's lost everyone in her life but her brother. She lost her child, lost me, lost you, and now she's pregnant again.
"All she can think about is that something is going to happen to her or the baby, and then...it wouldn't have mattered to begin with. But you won't shut up about how wrong she is for caring about you." Chase scoffs. "The woman sacrifices everything for the people she loves, but she won't sacrifice your kid for you.
"She might love you, but everything she's done is for herself and her child. You've rejected her enough, and she's finally caught onto that."