Arfea: Aaannnnd, we're back, with another screwed up chapter of this nutty story...

Alcy: We loves it we do, don't we precious!

Dissy: Oy.

Arfea: Please, just do the disclaimer before i choke her...

Dissy: Ownz nothing, we do...ok, done Arfea, don't choke Alcy, oops, too late.

Alcy: being choked by Arfea Precious chapter...choking please read!

Chapter 6- Because Sam is there.

Frodo dropped to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed in desparation. He then fell to the ground and started sobbing helplessly, helpless tears of lonliness. Merry tried to comfort him, but frodo pushed him away, and ran away into the woods. Pippin sat there confused. "I thought Frodo only liked him for the sex?" "I think thats still why he likes him, but he's started to get to know him now.,..." Merry replied.

Aragorn smirked, "Well, since Legolas swore off sex...Frodo can't really like him for the sex can he?" At this, everyone else nodded in greement. Suddenly, Frodo came back angrily, "AREN'T WE GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?" Pippin sat sobbing quietly. "Borry wouldn't...he wouldn't!"

Aragorn turned to him "of course he bleedin' wouldn't! " in a python-esque tone. "HE'S A FREAKIN ZOMBIE! He's not himself!" "I still think we should go with the ping-pong table idea." Merry said. Facefaults again.

Aragorn, feeling as if he should take the leadership role again, struck a herioc pose with his hand outstrechted finger pointing to the sky, "We shall...GO TO THE SHIRE!" Everyone looked at one another in confusion. "Why the Shire?" Asked Gimli.
"Because...Sam is there!" Aragorn concluded dramatically, he had paused for effect...

"Um, how about we follow Boromir?" Suggested Merry. "YES! EXCELLENT IDEA! REWRITE!" Shouted the random director standing next to them
who then proceeded to fall over.
"How are we gonna follow him?" "With... this!" Frodo pulled out his handy-dandy Legolas tracker that he always carried with him for... oh you know.

Legolas, meanwhile, had kicked BoroZombie's ass and left the zombie lying on the ground. Feeling very masculine he then decimated the zombie army, only to have them all rise again, including Borry, who now looked worse. "Shit." Said Legolas as he was tied to a rather large rock that looked suspiciously like an altar, and doused with water. Why water, you ask? Well, the zombies were all perverts thats why...

"I'd better send out a stronger signal on the legolas tracker.." he pushed a button on his pants: about five seconds later, he heard a shout of "I'VE GOT A SIGNAL!" "Wow," legolas mused to himself, as the water continued to soak into his clothes, "He must be really excited..."
About 10 seconds after that, frodo jumped out of nowhere and landed on top of legolas...

Legolas looked down at Frodo. "I've still sworn off sex. And since I already killed the zombies, and they came back...I'm not sure what to...stop nuzzling me!"
Frodo looked back down at him with a smile. "Do you want to get eaten by zombies, or will you have sex with me? It's your choice."

Legolas looked at Frodo, horrified, "Sex or Zombies? Are you that cruel Frodo Baggins?" Frodo just smiled again and Legolas moved to answer. "I pick..." Suddenly the reunited fellowship crashed through the woods, ping-pong table and all, and began to bash zombies. Pippin came over and freed Legolas, "Some people actually care about you as a person Legolas." He said with a glare at Frodo and then turned to kick some zombie ass.

Frodo sweatdropped. "Hey, I was just kidding around... I was gonna let him out." They all stared at him with blank eyes. He stoped sweatdropping and smiling: "No, seriously, I was. C'mon..." They all left him behind, while the zombies snuck up behind him without their noticing. They sniffed him: he reeked REALLY bad, except his recently-shampooed hair.

Frodo turned to see a bunch of gross zombies bearing down on him, and did the Frodo-thing...he screamed. Aragorn came running back, sliced off some zombie heads and carried frodo with them to Orthanc, because it was close.

In orthanc, they sat around, panting from the extreme distance they ran: dang, Lothlorien to Outside of Rohan is a long way to run! Anyways, they were all still glaring at Frodo, who was curled up in a little ball rocking back and forth because he hated it when people hated him...
Suddenly, merry got up and walked over to where frodo was sitting. Frodo looked up, thinking that maybe he was going to say something encouraging... but instead, Merry kicked him in the shin, and went over to sit back down. Frodo didn't cry, but got up and walked out of the tower to sit on the steps and think.

Merry, after kicking Frodo, turned to the ping-pong table and sighed. "Well, I still say a ping-pong table's important...for PLAYING PING-PONG!" Everyone except Legolas nodded at this and began a tournament. Legolas, feeling as if he were the only one in the room with common sense...a result of the no-sex rule?...went to read up on zombies in Saurman's extensive library. Frodo, whilst sitting contemplating, was unaware of a dark figure stalking behind him, until it was too late. BoroZombie grabbed Frodo and shoved something down his throat, then, laughing and hacking up some lung, limped-zombie walked away.

Frodo gagged on whatever was shoved down his throat. Meanwhile, Legolas suddenly felt some sort of shockwave go through his body, as if something bad was happening... "nah, nothing can be wrong. He can take care of himself! He and his perverted sex-loving... whatever... he's prolly out seducing some rohirrim now or something..." He sat and read up more on zombies, while a familiar short furry shadow loomed in the window...

Arfea: Well, another chapter is done.(although they are all actually complete...hmm?)
Readers: EXTREME CLIFFHANGERED!
Alcy: sweatdrop dont mind the Homestar Runner referance.
Arfea: Oi, Dissy, get over here.
Dissy: sigh We dun own it, and I already said that...
Arfea: Ah well, good boy. pets dissy
Alcy: Well, I hope you enjoyed this. It only gets more cliffy and hangery and stupider... y... from here.
Arfea: Well, we're gonna go procrastinate on posting Chapter 7. Samwise, Take it away.
Samwise: Read and review, or You'll never see Frodo or Legolas again!
Thems: tied up yo AAAAH! HELP!