Now adding Dr. Thurman to the characters you don't recognize. That, I suppose, makes him mine—though what I'm going to do with him outside this story, is anyone's guess :p … so now Kaley, and Dr. Thurman and the bad guy are the only characters I own (but I don't really want the bad guy) … the rest are not mine, belong to CSI NY creators, blah blah blah blah blah.

Ten Days

Chapter 6:

Nine Days Later

Dr. Thurman's Office, Department-Approved Psychologist

Lindsay sat across from Dr. Thurman, the upscale Manhattan psychologist whom had taken her case pro bono, as a favor to Mac and the department. The department psychologist had recommended him. She'd come to his office everyday, fully capable of negotiating New York City on her own, but incapable of being a mother or a detective. Mac had taken her badge, her gun. She knew he had to do it, that she was on medical leave. It would take Dr. Thurman's recommendation for her to get back to work.

His office proved his regular clientele had more money. He'd written a few books, had a few pictures on his shelf with celebrities, Oprah, Diane Sawyer, and others. From the dark woods, to the polished brass and bright, vibrant paintings, she could tell Mac had pulled some major strings.

She came in each day ready to get everything out, but ended up frozen, panicked.

Unsure of herself.

Yesterday, she'd come back later in the afternoon, needing once again to try. He'd seen her again, welcoming her in as if she was expected. They'd repeated the process again, done his exercises, played his games, and sat across from each other, waiting. She'd been so sure she could let it all out. She just wanted to hold onto her baby girl.

Lindsay's fingertips dug into the leather of the chair as she stared at him, once again, on a different day. She felt the pressure in her chest, even as he sat on the other side of his desk calm and collected. He looked like someone's grandfather, with the lines of age around his eyes and the thinning cap of white on top of his head. He even wore reading glasses.

There was nothing to be afraid of.

"All right, Lindsay," he stayed leaned back in his seat. "Do you have anything you want to talk about today?"

Of course she did. She couldn't face her daughter—couldn't look at her, couldn't touch her—even as her arms and her heart longed to do so. It hurt her. She wanted Danny to know that as well. It just hurt.

But she couldn't say it. Not yet.

She couldn't remember the face or the message of a murderer, even when she stared into the mirror and could almost see the words written across her forehead, where it was still slightly scratched from his writing.

She heard the ticking of the clock and turned her head to look at the aged wall clock Dr. Thurman had brought from his grandfather's in Germany. She stared at it, and willed the ticking to stop.

She was trying. She was trying to remember. Everyday Danny asked her, and looked at her as if he was tired of her, but maybe she was projecting again, like she had back in Montana with her parents and the police. She'd done that before. Mac and Stella and Flack, they all tried to talk to her. She knew she looked like this, unresponsive, but she was trying, she really was. She just couldn't get around whatever wall held her back.

She stared at the clock, afraid of the ticking. Time was just passing away.

"Lindsay," he said her name patiently, but she knew he'd been calling her back for awhile. "I removed the batteries. It's not ticking this time."

Danny sat in Stella's office as he closed his phone. Leaning his head back, he sighed.

Across from him, Stella frowned. "Is everything alright?"

He wanted to lie about it all over again, or rather, leave out all the details. How do you talk about your wife to your coworkers who are her coworkers, your friends, who are her friends. He even had a hard time with Lindsay's mother, who knew more about the situation than even he did. And it seemed wrong to tell his mother more than he had to, even as she kept Kaley for the majority of the last 9 days.

"Yeah. My mother's going to drop Kaley off this afternoon so she can play cards with her friends. My mom, not Kaley," obviously. "So Kaley can see her mother. So Lindsay can …"

"Lindsay's still …"

See—even Stella couldn't put the words together. This woman that inhabited his wife's body, wasn't Lindsay.

"Maybe a little more contact will help her. It just worries me how Kaley perceives it."

"You and Lindsay have done a phenomenal job raising that little girl, Danny. She feels safe and protected. When this is all over, she won't remember any of it."

"You sure about that?"

Stella hesitated, and just shrugged. His voice had been tight, angry. He leaned forward and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. "I'm sorry, it's just …"

Maybe it was time to share the load just a little.

The ticking stopped. The room went quiet. She turned and looked back at him, desperate.

He smiled a little. "No, you're not crazy."

She'd asked him that before.

"You're feeling the pressure, aren't you?"

She closed her eyes, fighting against the sudden need to cry. Dr. Thurman simply waited her out, waited until she could look at him again.

"I reviewed your file from Montana again, like you asked me to. You are doing better this time around," he leaned forward and shifted through papers on his desk. "Still no sleep walking?"

Lindsay shook her head. At least, she didn't think so. "Danny hasn't found me sleeping in the closet. Yet."

"See, you still have your sense of humor. You're eating, still."

Methodically. Danny would place the food in front of her, and she would eat. She didn't taste it. She just did what she was told to do.

When she realized she had only thought it, and not said it, she relayed the information to Dr. Thurman.

"There's just …" she stopped herself and watched Dr. Thurman's eyebrows rise as he waited. "I take the pictures in our house down and turned them around. I remember doing it. I see myself doing it, and I can't help myself. Danny comes in every time and makes a joke of it, like I'm trying to play memory games or give myself exercise. He tries, but I can see … it bothers him."

"Is there something in the photos that you're afraid of? Someone?"

"Just my family—and I'm not afraid of my family."

"But you're afraid for them. Or maybe you don't want them touched by what you know. Can you remember why?"

She tried, she really did. Her fingers dug further into the leather chair.

"Don't force yourself, Lindsay. Just let it come."

"You say that as if I can just flip a switch," the words came out bitterly—more than she'd intended.

He nodded, uneffected. "I know you can't find the switch, but it's there." He waited patiently, then slowly stood. "Let's try our other exercises."

Brain games. The exercises, as he called them, only made her feel like she belonged in a mental facility. Maybe she should just go join her old friend Rose.

Danny told Stella about the pictures, she listened, the worry clear on her face.

"I can watch Kaley tonight if you need me to."

For a moment, he looked ready to accept the offer, but in the end he only shook his head. "Kaley needs to be around her mother, around me and some sense of normalcy. Her shrink thought it might help."

"Danny."

"I know—her doctor. Her psychiatrist. He just hasn't done anything for her."

"Hasn't he? You said yourself that Lindsay thinks he's going to be able to help her."

"I just wish I understood, that I could help her. She lets me touch her, but she doesn't sleep. She wanders the night through the house as if she's afraid to sleep, as if he doesn't believe I can protect her. Even her shrink—sorry, psychiatrist, has tried to get her into a relaxed state, and he can't," he worried over it. "I see a piece of Lindsay when I go with her and drop her off. She pumps herself up, assures herself that there will be a break through, but she leaves … frustrated, angry. Depressed."

His phone beeped then and he stood, looking at the message. "Adam's done with the DNA samples we sent in this morning."

"Danny—if you change your mind, I'd love to have Kaley for the evening."

After he walked out the door, Stella turned to her computer and pulled up her email. She smiled a little when she saw the reply. In New York, you could find someone, somewhere, that could handle what you needed. It gave her hope that this Dr. Thurman could work wonders with Lindsay.

Danny opened the front door to his daughter. "Kaley!" he summoned and smiled as she leaned forward and into his arms. He peppered her face with smacking kisses as she giggled.

Years ago, he would have scoffed if someone told him he would respond such as this, but no one had ever captured his heart quite like his daughter.

"Where's …" his mother stopped from finishing the statement in an attempt to talk around Kaley.

"In the kitchen."

"Does she?"

Know that Kaley's coming?

"Yes."

Either it was the look on Danny's face, or his tone, but his mother simply nodded. "Just call if you need me," she reached out a hand and squeezed his arm, leaving her hand there for a moment. "I'm hoping you won't."

He nodded and watched his mother walk away. When she got in her car and lifted her hand in a wave, Danny nodded. It was time to face the battle.

He closed the door and it was as if a switch turned on in Kaley's mind. "Mommy!"

Danny turned, expecting Lindsay to be standing there, waiting. Instead, his daughter had already started searching her out. He pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Mommy will be here soon, sweetheart," he said, and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

He set her down on the floor near her box of toys, but instead of going for them, she looked around, than began to toddle around. She was looking for Lindsay. She was looking for her mommy.

He didn't know what to do. There was that war inside of him to follow Lindsay's lead, and one who wanted to fight for his daughter. For his family. He picked her up, put her in her bouncing chair, and touched a finger to her nose.

Then, he went into the kitchen. Lindsay was standing at the counter, her head bowed, her fingers clutching the counter's rim. Her knuckles were white.

"Kaley's looking for you."

She nodded, focusing her breaths.

He reached out, spun her around. Her eyes opened in surprise. Panicked.

"She needs you."

"I … can't," her voice shook.

His hands trembled on her arms. He wanted to shake her, or do more.

And he couldn't.

He released her, and stared at her, fighting the temptation to shake it out of her. He took a step back.

"Find a way."

He turned. Walked out. The back door slammed behind him as he left Kaley in the hands of her mother.

.

Something inside Lindsay broke. Her hands trembled. She couldn't live like this. She couldn't expect her daughter and husband to live like this.

She turned, opened one kitchen drawer, than another, seeing spoons and forks. Not what she needed.

It took several tries, but she finally found the right drawer, the same drawer as always. Her hands shook as she pushed aside the junk until her hands closed around the little voice recorder.

She could hear her daughter laughing as she played with her jumper. The squeaks and squeals fascinated her even now. Lindsay moved to the side of the kitchen, so she could see her through the doorway, so Kaley could see her in return.

She sang their song, a song her grandmother and mother sang to her, holding the voice recorder up to record. Her voice shook a little, then more as she forced the tune out. Kaley's eyes locked on hers and she squealed.

"Mommy loves you," she ended and watched her daughter's eyes light up.

.

Danny stood outside taking deep breaths. He knew Lindsay was doing her best. He knew it wasn't her fault. It was his responsibility to be the bridge.

Wouldn't she do the same thing for him?

But he took his time.

And then he heard it. The sound of a car engine starting up.

Their car.

He spun around and ran into the house. Kaley still sat in her jumper. He couldn't leave her to chase after her mother. When Kaley saw her father, she squealed. In her hand was a little black something. She pounded it against her jumper.

"Kaley," he walked over, reached for it before he realized what it was. "What you got there?"

But his voice shook.

"Mommy loves you," Kaley said, repeating the litany from her mother.

"Mommy loves who?" He swallowed against the lump in his throat as he took the voice recorder, knowing Lindsay had gone. He pulled out his cell phone.

"Me!" Kaley said the word with delight. Everything suddenly seemed right in her world.

He stared at the voice recorder and listened to the song as he hit speed dial on his phone. Lindsay sang to their daughter, but he could hear the fear in her voice.

It was his fault. He had to find her.

Note: Did anyone catch the reference to another certain story?

Wow … I didn't think I could get this one out. It was a toughy and I hope I caught all the mistakes, but I had to stop reading through it because I kept adding to it ... and adding isn't always good! By the way, your reviews really helped out by pushing me on and I appreciate them. Thanks so much for your support. Life's crazy right now, so they push me a little harder to work for you! Sound like a presidential speech, doesn't it? Or at least a mayoral speech. :p

Note: Sorry, Lily moonlight. I know I promised a Stella/Mac conversation, but Danny needed her more than Mac did—so Mac's scene unfortunately got cut.