Note: This chapter is written in the format of a songfic. The song I have chosen for this chapter is a sad little tune that I recommend for listening. It's called "Courage" by Superchick.
The directions I have taken in this story are not for the sake of bashing and trashing characters, but just to try and take each premise as far as it can possibly go. I promise, you do not want to miss the ending of this story. It will definitely have people talking! Also, this story will be completed after the 25th chapter. I will release the final chapter of Psych Heart and the first chapter of the prequel, Baroquen Heart, at the same time.
Chapter 22- Dying For Double Digits
"I told another lie today, and I got through this day, no one saw through my games."
The clock read 8 p.m. Tonight was Tifa's last night at home before the dreaded trip to the Renfroe Clinic for Eating Disorders. The least that she could hope for was a night of peace. Since 6:30 p.m., Tifa had locked herself in her room. She had lit a few of Cloud's incense sticks and covered her white bed with a small basket of rose petals. The most haunting touch was that Tifa had surrounded herself with lit candles while the lights were turned off.
Tifa stripped down to her underwear and lay on the bed. The first thing that Tifa noticed was that her chest was nowhere as big as it used to be. In fact, she had become almost flat. Her belly was so nonexistent that she could distinctly see the shape of her ribs and hips through her skin. Still, she saw the scale's dreaded three-digit number in her head: 100. Lately, her 'monthly visitor' had failed to make any appearances, which was a good sign that something was terribly wrong. Oddly enough, another missing factor was her friends' interventions. It seemed to Tifa as if no one really seemed to care.
"I know the right words to say, like 'I don't feel well', 'I ate before I came'."
Starvation was Tifa's modus operandi. She was far too jaded for the world of purging. As she breathed in the aromatic scents and felt the gentle rose petals, it became clear that nothing could clear out her head. After all, it was Cloud's fault. Everything was always his fault, and yet he was still around, putting her to shame even now with his change of behavior.
A thought came to her head, and she rose from her bed to share that thought with Cloud. Tifa had slowly begun to trust Cloud, especially after his attempt at hypnotizing the truth out of her. Then again, he should have been able to put 2 and 2 together in his head. Tifa's path to Cloud's room put her on a collision course with the kitchen, and as she passed it, her stomach began to rumble. She hadn't eaten anything in days, and it would be so tempting to make up for those lost calories. All of her favorite foods ran through her head: Chocolate, Chicken, Burgers, Fries, Steak and Ice Cream. Despite her stomach's protests, she passed through to Cloud's room, and lay on the bed next to him. Tifa began sobbing as she continuously repeated, "I don't want to die, Cloud! I don't want to die!"
"Then we'll go to the kitchen and get something to eat."
"Cloud, sob, I don't feel like it. Please, just hold me."
Cloud held her tight, at least what little bit there was to hold.
"Then someone tells me how good I look, and for a moment, I am happy. But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry."
You bet your bottom dollar I can hide it well. All it takes is something large like a sweatshirt to make me look bigger. But what's the use? My shriveling face will give my secret away soon enough. Besides, most everyone that goes to Renfroe is seemingly beyond help. I hate it, and it's not my fault! Cloud caused this, but now he's like a perfect, holy angel. I want to give out, and I want to give in, but that's my crime. That's my sin. I'm turned and tossed out on the waves. When the darkness comes, I feel the grave.
"I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful, the day I chose not to eat."
No, she didn't remember her first. But daily, she lives out her second, third, fourth, fifth…
It's really become so gross and disturbing. I cheer when I finally break 99. But I'm not happy. All I wanted was love, and a little more money. Isn't that what we all want? I mean, if you sit and contemplate on the fact that our lives extend past the game, then maybe there are people who can interact with us. It's as if I'm still at the will of the man behind the controller. Who knows? Maybe I am. Maybe we all are. At least that would explain Cloud.
"What I do know is how it changed my life forever. I know I should know better."
Okay, so I put this on Tifa, and I'm so sorry. I'm just Cloud, that's it. If I started it, how can I stop it? She'll hang on every word I say, but then toss them out the window at the memory's call. Tifa Marie Lockheart is a living death and I only have the funds to send her to Renfroe for a week. Unless…
"Ah, Cloud! You're early!", President Rufus surmised. The spiky-headed warrior scratched his head and asked nervously, "Yeah, about that. I kind of, you know, need some money. Is there anything that I can do for you?"
"As a matter of fact, there is. The Neo-Soldier Revolution Project is starting soon, and I've found the perfect public service for you: Lawyer."
"Okay. It could be worse, so whatever."
Rufus moved closer to Cloud and whispered in his ear.
"I'll give you a head start tonight. I'll give you all the money you need if you give a false testimony at Sephiroth's trial tonight."
"False? So he's not the killer? Then why are you doing this to him? Who's the real killer?"
Rufus again whispered in Cloud's ear, "The killer is…"
Cloud stepped back in amazement. Rufus then queried, "Do you see now why it must be a secret?"
"Yes, I do. Anyone of us could be in danger."
"Exactly. Now, everything's about to start. Are you going to testify, or not?"
Cloud thought long and hard, but the promise was more than he could part with. "Okay, Rufus. I'll do it. I have to do it."