Arfea: yeah, well, if anyone is actually reading this, wow...that's sad. BTW, in case you haven't been reading so far, this is the randomest, most def. not normal story written by 2 authoresses who had too much time on their hands.

Alcy: And pudding.

Arfea: We didn't have pudding.

Alcy: But we should have.

Arfea: ponders You're right.

Disclaimer: No ownage, not now, and for the love of Pete, not ever.

Warning: Extremely gay, but not meant to offend, merely to laugh at.

Chapter 7: Pie Monkey

The Ping-Pong Tournament of Champions was well underway. So far, Galadriel and Merry were both on spectacular winning streaks and several Rohirrim and Elves sat around sobbing from defeat. (Legolas: HELLO! CREEPY SHADOW? Arfea: Gettin to it) Suddenly, they all heard a horrified cry, and rushed to see what it was. A zombified Frodo stood, holding onto Legolas. It laughed evilly, in a zombie-way, and looked at Legolas. "I am now in control of the Zombies, have sex with me or I will kill all of Middle Earth!"
"But you're in Middle Earth." Replied Legolas,
"And so am I..." Zombie-Frodo thought about this for a moment.
Pippin, standing in the doorway, cried out. "FRODO! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? WHERE'S BOROMIR? DO YOU KNOW?" Frodo looked over at him, slowly.
"Of course I know where he is." Boromir slowly came out of the shadows, and walked up next to him. "You see? He's right here. And he's mine." Frodo then grabbed boromir's face and kissed him. Pippin gasped. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Legolas squirmed around,
"Zombies...bad smell...powerful nose...can't handle!" And promptly fain(Legolas: GIRLS FAINT, BOYS PASS OUT! Arfea: Sorry..)Passed out.
Pippin, glaring at BoroZombie cried out, "YOU SOB I'm carrying your child!" At which the zombie turned,
"I'm a daddy?" He said.
"NOT IF I DON'T GIVE YOU CUSTODY!" Pippin shot back.
"Cheating on me does make me consider that possibility." Pippin laughed slightly evilly, then remembered that his one true love was currently a zombie that was trying to take over the world. "Boromir, why have you been kidnapping others and not me? You pervert! I've been waiting for you to be resurrected by the random magic, and now you're chasing after other men! What the hell is wrong with you?" Frozombie sighed and sat down.
"Wait, how can a guy get pregnant?" asked Legolas.
"Beats me. Not even I, with my new zombie powers, know how," replied teh Fro-duh zombie.
Legolas shivered. "Well, I'll never get pregnant! I think hobbits have that ability though, dunno something about bein able to...actually, I don't want to know!" He finished and, moving like a ninja, he kicked himself free from Fro-duhZombie's grip and smirked. "Ha!" Fro-duhZombie's eyes glowed an evil red and Legolas sweatdropped nervously. Frodo jumped up and stuck to the ceiling in a spiderman-type pose. He crawled across and jumped down on top of Legolas' shoulders, and placed newly grown claws across his throat.
"You're gonna die now, unless you join the zombie army!" Legolas sighed, and picked up the still-very-midgetlike hobbit off his shoulders, and kicked him where it hurt. He then dropped him to the floor, and walked over to where Boromir and Pippin were now arguing loudly.
"Look, Boromir, why don't you become a non-zombie, fix frodo so that he doesn't threaten anyone's lives, and go shag with Pippin somewhere far away in the tower?" Frodo continued to moan. Boromir quirked his head to the side.
"Well, its not that easy...you need...wait, I'm a brainless zombie...mutters incoherently" Boromir began to walk around them, zombie like, and a bunch of other zombies grabbed them all.
Frodo sat upon a very large throne, dressed in zombie chique and wearing a skull for a crown. "NOW YOU WILL ALL BE ZOMBIES, AND LEGOLAS WILL HAVE SEX WITH ME!" Legolas, tied along with everyone else, had to respond,
"NO WAY, I'D BE UGLY AND U'D BE UGLY, THIS ISN'T THE WAY TO WIN MY HEART OR GET IN MY PANTS!" Little did Legolas know that Frodo's excessive amount of horniness was BECAUSE of the fact that he was a zombie: He was in fact the reincarnated chosen one, and all zombies are perverts. Therefore, Frodo was the most perverted. He had started to become the zombie king very early in the story, due to the whatever-its-called-when-someone-comes-back-from-the-deadness of Boromir. The REAL frodo was basically locked away. Poor frodo.

"Ugh"Alcy said from the void of Authoresshood. "That took a lot of words. You happy with that Arfea?" she asked with a smirk. Arfea smiles,
"Go Legolas, not just for sex! Hmmm, well should I explain where they are?" Takes a deep breath. "Ok, well, they were captured by the zombies in the net, it took a while to get them where they are now, so they are now in a dark castle, somewhere in Middle Earth, Frodo has become the all powerful Zombie king, with Boromir as his right-hand man. Everyone is tied up who isn't a zombie. Pippin is pregnant, dunno how, with Boromir's baby and Legolas has sworn off sex...and Fro-duhZombie only wants to have sex with Legolas...so, thats the background, incase anyone's confused." Arfea is breathing hard because that took a lot of air.
"Good job, 'fea. Now, back to the story."

"YOU'LL NEVER SEDUCE ME!"Legolas shouted. Merry, who was listening like a good boy to the ramblings of the demented authoresses, said "Leggy, weren't you listening? He's not really perverted." Legolas read the previous paragraphs.
"Oh. Well, YOU'LL STILL NEVER GET ME! NEVER!"
"SILENCE" commanded fro-duh zombie king man dude woman... sir... thingy. "YOU MORONS HAVE ANGERED ME! FOR THAT, YOU ALL SHALL SUFFER!"
"What are you going to do to us, you heartless fiend?"Aragorn asked.
"I shall force you to watch... POKEMON ANIME!"

Alcy: Muahahaha!

Arfea: That must be the meanest thing we can do to them.

Alcy: You said it, 'fea!

Arfea: hits Alcy with a pan Urusei! .

Alcy: Anyways... Samwise, say the thing!

Samwise: Tune in next week for another exciting chapter of A Gay Old Time! Same Bat-time, Same Bat-really-stupid-authoresses!

A&A: attacks