The next few days were officially days of mourning. The first loss that Balamb Garden had experienced for a long time had been had been a very costly one. The atmosphere around Garden was unbearable and everything was eerily quiet. It seemed the life had been completely drained from the place. Despite his cold exterior Squall had truly cared about Balamb Garden and all its inhabitants. He had been a respected leader due to his strength, courage but most of all his ability to motivate others. Squall's closest companions were all in a state of shock Quistis and Zell, who had witnessed his death, more so than the others were. Little was seen of Rinoa, she simply remained in what had been Squall's room and stared longingly about at his things. Everything was just how he had left it and any time anybody attempted to remove his belongings she would cry out and scream. Selphie who was currently pregnant with her second child seemed to be the only one trying to keep a smile on her face despite the pain deep down inside. She went between her friends trying to cheer them up with talk of past adventures and funny moments they had all shared but to no avail. Irvine although still remaining strong had no intention of smiling; he was only holding back his emotions for the good of Trabia. He was after all their Commander and his students looked to him for an example.
Balamb Garden was for the time being staying by between Winhill and Maideen. It was on a hillside by Winhill where Squall was to be laid to rest. It was fitting since the young Commander's Mother, Raine, was also buried there. It was a tranquil and peaceful place and the habitants of Garden had decided that someone who had been so influential in his short life should find eternal rest where he had begun his journey. The sight of one Garden would have been enough for the citizen's of the small country town but Trabia Garden had also remained in the quiet countryside. Under Squall's command, Balamb had done a great deal towards the restoration of Trabia Garden and many of the SeeD themselves were originally trained in Balamb. It seemed everyone had been touched by Squall's influence in some way no matter how big or small. The night before the funeral there was a final surprise for the residents of Winhill as Galbadia Garden arrived to also pay their respects to the fallen Commander. Feelings were mixed as Galbadia's Commander Seifer boarded Balamb to offer his condolences. Some people felt he had come to laugh at the terrible misfortune that had befallen Balamb but Quistis recognised that he was for once genuinely sincere.
"Despite what you may think… He's been a very important person in my life… I wouldn't be here now if it weren't for what you all did 4 years ago. I lost my way because of my own need for glory and it took me a while to understand that all of you set me right… I owe my life to you. I could hardly sit back and let Squall leave this world without saying goodbye."
"But you couldn't stand Squall!" snapped Zell in protest
"No I'll admit he wasn't my favorite person but he was always better than me… Jealousy is all that it was… When I sat and thought about it there wasn't really anything I didn't like about him… He was dedicated, strong and talented and I hated him for it. I look at it now and I see that what I thought and did back then was pathetic."
"Yeah too right!" Zell butted in
"Zell stop…" Quistis said quietly "Listening to you talk Seifer I can tell you've really thought about this and I can see you really have changed. To admit you were wrong takes a lot of courage and I admire you for that I believe that the intentions you came here with are nothing but noble and in a way I'm glad you came here. It was you who gave Squall the initial motivation to begin fighting and I really don't know if Squall would have got where he did if it weren't for you… I'm sure that's how Squall would have felt."
"Thank you for believing me Instructor… I'll return to my Garden now and I'll see you all tomorrow… But one more thing… I want you to accept my apology all of you. It's been a long time coming and I don't think we can all stand on equal ground tomorrow if we don't lay the past to rest"
"I don't think I need to say anymore Seifer you have my trust and I accept your apology… Good night everyone" Quistis stood and left the room she was pale and drawn with her grief,
"I agree with everything Quistis has said and to be honest there isn't really anything to apologize to me for… I didn't know you at all when I ended up fighting you and the Sorceress and Galbadia was my home for many years. You've done a good job looking after the place so I don't think you're a bad guy at all."
"I guess that goes for me too…" sighed Selphie "I only met you properly for the first time during my SeeD exam and the next I knew we were enemies… I only fought you because I had to no because of personal feelings." She got slowly to her feet and approached Seifer taking his hand in hers "Trabia will always be around to help should Galbadia ever need it. As Headmistress of Trabia Garden I extend the hand of friendship to all SeeDs and I don't see any reason why Galbadia shouldn't be a part of that." She smiled faintly and backed away before Irvine led her out.
"I know it'll be hard for you two to accept my apology…" he said eyeing Rinoa and Zell
"You did nothing but bully me as I grew up… You always knocked me down and kicked me while I was there… I can't shake your hand so easily… But for Squall's sake I have too… I know he'd want us to forget what's happened so…" Zell got up and put his hand out reluctantly and Seifer took it the pair shook briefly.
"Thank you Zell"
"I'm not doing it for you" he replied coldly before turning sharply and leaving
"And what about you?"
"What's done is done right? In a way I almost understand what you did… Everyone wants to better themselves and had the Sorceress won you would have bettered yourself so much… And didn't you say that you loved the Sorceress?"
"I don't know if it was real love but yeah at the time I guess…"
"When I became a Sorceress Squall said that no matter what he'd be my knight… He'd fight for me no matter who he had to fight against. So… If you love someone and you want to protect them then that's ok… When I think about what happened like that I don't think what you did is wrong."
"Rinoa…"
"So I guess what I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry for trying to stop you from doing what you thought was right… What counts even more is that you now realize that you were wrong and you're sorry for what you did. If you're sorry about something you've done and I mean truly sorry then no one should be able to turn your apology away… My Mother once told me that it's important to separate the deed from the perpetrator… She always told me that it was the deed they had done I should hate not the person that did it… Everyone has a reason or a cause for what they do…" Rinoa was beginning to break down and lose herself in words she wasn't quite ready to say "You were my first love nothing is going to take that from us… I would never have met Squall if it weren't for you… Back then you were all I thought about, but that all changed the moment I thought you'd been killed… I really don't know what I felt back then… But I forgive you Seifer! I forgive you! I'm sorry if you don't understand what I'm saying! Nothing makes sense anymore! Nothing!"
Rinoa seemed suddenly drained of all her energy and she fell forward stepping in Seifer caught her just in time. He got down on one knee lowering her gently onto her knees.
"It's alright Rinoa… I understand what you're trying to say and I understand what it is you must be feeling right now… I know how alone and empty you must feel…" He had perfectly described her feelings with those two words and she was moved beyond words her eyes welled up and she threw her arms around him. "I'm here you don't have to be afraid of the future. I'll always be around when you need me. I promise."
Those words 'I promise' he had said them to her they had so much meaning for her. She had been searching for strength in all those around her but they had all been far too caught up in their emotions to support her. She didn't blame them for they too were suffering Squall's loss. But it now seemed she had found her pillar of strength in the most unlikely of people, since the last moment Squall had held her she had never felt so secure.
"… I need you now… I'm in trouble and I don't know what to do…."
"What's the matter?"
"I'm going to have a baby…"
Seifer pulled her closer and held her tightly there wasn't a lot he could say at that moment but almost involuntarily words came from him as if from somewhere or someone else.
"I'm here… I always will be…"
The morning of the most painful goodbye in their life came far too soon for the close companions Squall had left behind. Seifer had eventually carried Rinoa to her bed and sat at her bedside all night. The entirety of all three Gardens turned out in full uniform to say their goodbye the villagers of Winhill had also ventured out seeing something important was happening. Rinoa, Selphie and Quistis waited by the graveside watching and waiting for the dreaded moment. A procession came from the Garden led by Zell, Irvine and Seifer as the representatives of the three Gardens. Carrying Squall were three pairs of SeeD again from the three Gardens. On seeing them Rinoa's strength gave way and she fell to her knees no longer physically capable of holding herself upright. Selphie dropped down by her side wrapping her arms around her friend and crying with her. Quistis kept her composure for a considerable amount of time, but eventually her strength let her down also and her husband stepped in to comfort her. As the procession drew closer Selphie tried to stand Rinoa but in her condition it was an incredibly difficult task. But then a pair of strong arms reached down and pulled Rinoa up. Selphie, a little startled stood back and looked up. She smiled when she saw Rinoa in the arms of Laguna the Esthar President, just behind him were his two faithful friends Kiros and Ward. Laguna's eyes gave his outer strength away as an act, this place was the resting-place of now not only his wife but also his only child. As the rain got heavier he pulled Rinoa closer to shelter her from the rain, the SeeD carrying Squall began lowering him down and then they stepped back into the crowd.
"Look up now… Don't miss your last goodbye…" Laguna whispered
Rinoa looked up as all eyes fell on the noble young Commander's grave. Laguna swallowed hard and feared breaking down at any moment. But as a single flower fell into the grave all eyes looked to the end of the grave to see Ellone stood there.
"Goodbye little brother…"
Everyone was puzzled as they viewed the peaceful smile on her face as she watched over the grave silently, a single tear ran down her cheek but her smile did not leave her. Even after the students and SeeD began departing Ellone stood there her eyes fixed on where Squall lay. After a while she looked up and smiled at Laguna who was still holding Rinoa. She quickly scanned her eyes across Irvine, Quistis, Selphie, Zell and Seifer before turning and leaving. Her presence had taken the weight of the pain and everyone's grief felt lighter. It no longer bore down on them as it had done before. Ellone was still as mysterious as she always had been and as she had departed they had all taken their cue from her. Following for a moment until Laguna turned to see Rinoa knelt by the stone at the head of Squall's grave. She ran her finger over the lettering touching his name with particular affection.
Squall LeonhartI'll be here.
So if you come here,
you'll find me.
Seifer approached her, as he placed his hand on her shoulder she didn't even acknowledge his being there.
"Come on. We should get out of this rain before you catch your death."
"I don't care."
"He wouldn't want you to give up living… What about your baby Rinoa?"
"But what can I do without him?" she said reaching up to run her finger over Squall's name once more.
"I don't know but that's why we're here to help figure that out. But giving up is not the answer… That baby living inside of you is proof that you too have to keep on living" She took Seifer's hand and he pulled her up into an embrace. Zell and others were waiting a little way down the hillside. "We'll help you start again… It won't be easy but you've got to understand that there are still people who love and care for you and they will be with you every step of the way."
"Thank you…"
He kissed her head and put his arm around her shoulder protectively as he headed towards the group waiting for them. Rinoa turned her head to look at Squall's grave one last time, she promised in her heart that she would come back here with her child. She would teach that child all about the great man that had fathered him or her. She would bring up Squall's child to be strong and dedicated just as its Father had been. This child was the ray of hope Squall had left her and from now on it was for her unborn child that she would live.