Disclaimer: Nope. Not me.

This story was in my jump drive for THE longest time. I didn't post it because it's stupid. Not 'I hate it' stupid, but actually nonsensical. Anyway, it's good for a little laugh. So I'll leave you to it. 

"Ugh! They were worst than Angela and Hodgins!"

"And not many people are."

"I don't think I can interrogate them together ever again. Jeez. How do they do that? Make up all those mushy-cushy names on such short notice?"

"They've had a lot of practice."

"It would seem so."

Booth and Brennan were coming back from the home of their suspects, Barry and Janey Logan, who had been in the victim's circle of former friends and who were among the people who were affected when the venture she had encouraged them to invest him turned out to be a scam. The two of them had been married for half a decade, and still couldn't take their hands off each other long enough so Booth and Brennan could conduct a proper interview. What was worse, they couldn't stop calling each other overly sweet names like, 'Lovey Bunny' and 'Candy Lips'. The partners left the house desperately in need of water to wash all the sweet down.

Now that they were finally back at his office in the Hoover Building, Booth sipped the coffee he had just been given by Brennan and tried to get over what he had just seen.

"Ew," was all he could say. It was disgusting how the two of them had wound themselves around each other, even making out in the middle of Booth's line of questioning. Brennan didn't get much better respect from the couple either as they whispered their various names over her head to each other as she stood between them talking to Janey.

"I think maybe we should split them up next time. It is useless to have them there together. Do you agree," Brennan couldn't help but tease, "Sweetie Pie?"

Booth scowled at her over his coffee, "Don't you dare. Those names are scarring me as we speak…" But then he couldn't resist the taunting either, "Pretty Eyes."

"I really should get back to the Jeffersonian, Pookie Bear, because I have a lot of work to do. I will call you about the skeleton if I have found anything interesting, Honey Lips."

"Okay, Baby, I'll go on looking at the reports. If I find something interesting, I'll call, okay Angel Face?"

They frowned at each other. So this was a fight, huh? Well, it was a fight both of them were certain they would win. Booth knew he knew more of those overly soppy cutesy nicknames than her and Brennan was confident in her ability to make them up more quickly than he could.

"Lovey Pie." She hissed.

"Honey Bunny," he spat.

"Big Daddy," she bested him, throwing in a lift of her eyebrow.

That brought a smirk to his face, "Cookie Lips."

She folded her arms.

"Darling."

"Pumpkin."

"Honey."

"Sweetie."

"Angel."

"Cutie."

"Baby."

He hit her below the belt, "Bones."

Brennan crossed her legs as the nerve endings went wild. That was uncalled for!

Bones got out of her seat and propped herself up on Booth's desk on her fists, "Are we quarreling!?"

"Yes!" Booth didn't enjoy being looked down on, so he got up too, "I think we are!"

"I really hate those stupid soppy nonsensical names!"

"You really should stop calling me that crap!"

"Then come over here and do something about me calling you that crap!"

"That's exactly what I should do," he growled before he grabbed her by the neck and planting her mouth on his. She moaned in protest, mostly because the table was blocking her from him.

Lifting her knee onto the table, Brennan climbed onto it and crawled on her knees to get to Booth, fighting not to break their contact. He grabbed her by the waist and brought her down on the chair with him.

"Did you lock the door?" he asked her as they finally broke apart.

"Yes!" she screamed and he had no idea if it was because she had indeed locked the door or if it was because she was grinding on his lap.

He took it to mean both.

"Can I…" He asked her as he held on to the front of her blouse. She answered him by nodding and helping him to yank the buttons free. She was rotating in his lap and pleasuring the two of them. Booth groaned out as he pushed his hand into her black lace bra and kneaded her breast. She made a sound that could have meant anything, but all of them were good.

"Booth?" she said grinding in his lap for the better.

"Huh?" he was a little distracted.

"I'm sorry for arguing with you. Ahh!"

"What?"

"I'm sorry- oh!- for arguing with you."

His hand stopped, "You're kidding right?"

"N-no. I-I just realize how stupid we both sounded." He saw her lick her lips in enjoyment as her hips continued to move back and forth..

"Okay…" Now that was bizarre. Bones never apologized so easily before. He started massaging her again and her pace quickened. He could feel himself edging toward climax and so could she. She hissed as he squeezed her breast and kissed him, making his whole body catch fire.

"And Booth?" she said, on the brink now.

"Yes?"

"I sorry for not locking the door."

 Told ya it was stupid.

Review and tell me what a crazy I am for even considering to post this.