The first real chapter to my soon to smash hit The Barking Trickster (patent pending). I am still in need of a beta and I am weary of this sites system. I would rather not take my chance and end up with someone who doesn't know a synonym from an acronym.
Please enjoy.
The Barking Trickster
Chapter 1
'Walik' is Serious Business
Somewhere on the Border of the Wind Country and the Bird Country
The deserts heat and geography had surged into the country know as Bird. Though most of the country that housed so many different species of bird was mostly wooded areas, the desert was as relentless as it was long.
It was not an uncommon sight to see tiny black blots high in the sky, so no one particularly cared when two they noticed two birds streaking across the great blue. Little did they know the drama that went on above their heads.
"Awww come on, they are funny and you-"A raven with a small, white diamond shaped blot on his brow began.
"-Shut up, shut up shut up!" The second bird, a size bigger, cut the first bird off. "I get it, I get it! We are in bird country and oh my lookie here! WE ARE BIRDS! Utterly fucking hilarious!"
"Well then…" The first bird pouted. "I never!" The bird descended a little to get away from his irate brother.
"Good for nothing…" the second bird began mumbling under his breath.
"Hey, hey! There it is, right?" Truok, hearing is brothers call, focused his eyes down on a small patch of ground.
The ground of that area was covered almost entirely by tropical trees, and a tiny lake sat in the center. It was as if a jungle had sprung up around the water source. The two brothers knew that it had a little assistance though.
A single smoke stack rose up over the canopy. They both tucked in their wings and dove into the canopy. What greeted them was a strange hut. It was primarily made out of wood and the occasional animal furs but a metallic chimney sprang up in the center. It made a few strange twists and turns before the smoke came out of a funnel on top.
Te'telo decided to make himself known. "OKO! YOU OLD CODGER!"
The next second both of them found themselves in a strange situation.
Underground, in total darkness, and held by something with creepily hair legs.
Both quickly transformed into an animal with eyes made for the night. T'telo the cat and Truok the owl were greeted by a sight that was less than pleasant. They stared straight into the multiple eyes of a very large and very hairy spider.
"Joo children need to learn da ancient art of SHUTTIN' DA HELL UP!" The spider said out in a thick accent unlike anything this world had seen before.
"Oh, it's Oko…" They both said in unison while letting out a sigh of the utmost relief.
"And who da hell else wou'd be runnin' roun' lookin' like a big spieda?"
"About that…"
"Shhh boys." Oko silenced them as he lifted the ceiling, revealing them to be in a somewhat large hole in the ground with a liftable roof. Handy.
All of his eyes squinted.
He peered around before every hair on his spidery body stood up on end before he relaxed. Well they supposed he relaxed, hard to tell with giant insects, don't ya know. He let down the roof.
"Good, dey fell righ' for it." The big spider then let out a small chuckle.
"Errr…" Truok tried to formulate a question. He succeeded. "Who?"
"De enemies, dingle-berry. Dey been out der since joo left to find yo brudda."
"Enemies?" The brothers spoke in unison once again.
"Ja, ja. I's been lettin' 'em think I was in da hut dis entia time, keepin' that fiya goin' and all."
The cat and the owl nodded in agreement. It was a clever plan. Then again… Oko wasn't the brightest bulb in the knife drawer. Well… sanest at least.
"But, joo boys 'ere na. We's can joom righ' out and attack 'em tageda."
They eyed each other skeptically as Oko went on about something involving flanking maneuvers and if
they should use smoke signals to warn for help if they were captured alive.
The cat leaned over to his owl-brother and whispered out something from the side of his lip, "Ok, I say we go along. He is the shaman and keeper of the clan."
Te'telo immediately shot back, from the corner of his mouth of course, "Who's the crazy person, the insane one or the people who follow him?"
"Okay, on my mark…"
The moment of action was upon them though so further discussion was put to a halt. While not one for fighting, the Coyote tribe weren't exactly slouches and if someone had come forcefully into their territory…
"Go!" And with that the two brothers slid into their original forms and jumped straight out to find…
"Ok where's this enemy we are l-" Te'telo began but was rightly interrupted.
"DEY ABOVE YOU!" Oko flashed into a frog and jumped with all his might at a branch above them. He then became a large, dark colored creature with a large mouth. The clamping power of the creature was undeniable though as it soundly clamped down on the branch sending the broken off piece flying along with a … nest?
Two small, blue birds, obviously native to the Bird Country took off into the sky as their half-finished nest hit the ground.
"Das da good stuff!" Oko cheered as he assumed his original form, just several sizes smaller. A light colored coyote with strange markings flowing from his eyes to the tip of his tail grinned at the brothers.
"Joo boys were almost dead meat!" They could only stare, with their mouth half open.
"He's… h-he's kidding right?" Te'telo looked to his brother for an explanation but found none.
Oko seemed to be over the whole ordeal as he strode into his hut.
"Na, na. Da question dat be at da tips of my tongue is dis…" he began a second before he walked out the door, munching on some meat of unknown origins.
"Why did joo both come 'ere, when joo both know joo don' gotta to return home?" Oko, for all his executrices, wasn't a fool.
There are many things not know about summons and the mysteries surrounding them. One thing that is known, but only by a select few master summoners, is that many keepers of certain summoning contracts never leave the human world. For a tribe to reach the real world there would either need to have a summoner or a keeper of the contract to stay and act as a way point. Trans-dimensional traveling should never be taken lightly.
Many of these keepers are often mistaken for monsters or demons. A few rightfully earned that name. The keeper tends to be a being of great stature and importance in the tribe. Oko on the other hand, while indeed powerful and (almost paradoxly) wise, was made the keeper for a simple fact. He's bat shit crazy. The fact that he genuinely likes living in the human world was only icing on the cake for Oko.
"Well, Oko…" 'Telo let out a sly grin. "There reason I took so long on a routine mission-"
"By mission he means picking up grape fruit for Kunula-sama."
"Hey, Kunula-sama asked me to do it for a reason…"
"Cause he loves the stuff?"
"No, cause she loves the stuff."
"We aren't having this debate again; he was technically a man when he sired our own mother-"
"Na, na boys. Joo both know Kunula is far too old to rememba what Kunula was in da beginnin'." If anyone knew what exactly Kunula was, it was Oko. "Kunula is Kunula is Kunula."
"Pshh, whatever…"Te'telo flicked his ears in confusion. "Where was I?"
"You were saying why you got side tracked…" Truok let out a sigh.
"OH yea!" He rounded on Oko.
"I've found a person whose pretty…" Stupid pause for dramatic effect. "…Entertaining."
Oko's decorated eyes widened. He disappeared into his hut and returned with a strange blanket like thing.
"Oh shit…" Te'telo turned to his uncommonly foulmouthed brother.
"Huh, what is it bro?"
"The 'walik'" He said indicating to the blanket like thing.
"You wanna lick what?"
Their attention returned to Oko who had taken the form of a strange ape with a very red buttocks.
"Why didn' joo say dis sooner!? We coulda been on ours ways by na."
He leapt into the canopy, the 'walik' trailing from one hand.
"Hey!" Te'telo called as he chased after the monkey with the red buttocks. "Where are you going?!"
"Ta find da person of interest of course!" he called before cackling madly.
"But..." Te'telo was too slow though, as Oko reached the edge of the canopy and swung right out into the desert.
He swung both of his arms back, taking hold of the 'walik' and brought it down in a sweeping motion. The sand rose up to meet him and the moment he landed it began to simply… move. The ground was rolling under his feet and sped him off into the distance.
"But…"
Truok ran up to his brother's side.
"But what?" He asked.
"But… Te'telo then said with earnest bewilderment as he turned to his brother. "That's the wrong way."
Naruto sprung up the last two steps that led to his apartment's floor.
Today had to be his lucky day or something. It was pretty normal for the most part, right up until the old man visited him at Ichiraku's Ramen Stand.
He did a small, childish jig as he walked towards his apartment door. He even added a little singing.
"I'm going to the academy; I'm going to the academy…" The singing went along like this, even as he fumbled with his key and inserted it in the lock.
He walked straight in, his eyes practically closed. It's not like nothing incredibly unexpected would happen today.
Clang! Clack! Clang!
"Now dis is some interestin' stuff!" Naruto couldn't help but notice the strange monkey like thing banging the only two pots he had for making ramen together. It also seemed to have a cape on…
He then registered that he had indeed just heard it talk.
"Holy crap! His room smells horrible!" A second voice called from his bedroom.
He then took notice of the back end of some dog, with a wagging tail and all, was rummaging through his ramen cabinet.
"HEY!" The monkey and the dog-thingy both froze. The monkey turned his head dramatically while a dog/wolf/whatever things face peeked over his cabinet. Both's eyes studied him with much interest.
A second dog/wolf thing peeked out of his bedroom, a strange mark on its brow. It grinned, unlike the other two.
"Yo, Naruto!" Naruto backed up a second. That was far too friendly a greeting… especially from a dog.
Then again, there was a dog talking in the streets one day to some wild looking lady and he didn't sound particularly mean.
If these two dog/wolf like things were similar to the dog in the street, they could be accounted for. But a talking monkey? Where the hell did they get one of those?
The thing exited his bedroom entirely and walked up to him in a proper laze.
"Ummm…" Naruto was in a predicament. He was in a room, with two talking animals and another who probably could talk, and none of them seemed freaked out… so it was only appropriate that he fill that void.
"WHAT THE HECK!" Naruto screamed suddenly and jumped up onto his small couch. The three animals seemed confused by this.
"What? Ain't joo ever seen a baboon and two coyots before?" The 'baboon' said with an unknown accent.
Naruto's freak out was put on hold as he deadpanned, "…No."
"Oh." Three voices answered back.
Awkward silence.
"What are…" Naruto started hesitantly. "… you guys doing in my home?"
The baboon and one of the 'coyot' both looked towards the other that had the mark on his head. He shrugged and approached Naruto slowly.
"Naruto, me and my friends…" He cocked his head back towards the two silent animals. "Got a little…"
A large grin that promised mischief spread across the 'coyot' 's face.
"…proposition for you."
In the middle of the Battle Training Ground 44, better known as the Forest of Death, sat four individuals.
Two coyotes, a baboon, and a small blonde kid.
In the center, lay a fire just newly built.
The boy huddled up to it for warmth, eying his current company. He wasn't really suspicious. People weren't very nice to him most of the time, but animals had always been friendly. No animal he had met so far showed the same distaste that most people seemed to have for him.
He also didn't figure that their strange proposition of a summoning contract was fake. The fact that the two coyotes bickered the entire time he was riding on ones back eased him as well.
He liked his present company, he really did. They were smart, talking animals that offered something he wasn't really sure he knew anything about. But one said something about awesome powers… and there was no way in hell Naruto Uzumaki was going to turn down awesome powers.
"'Ight boy! Stan' up!" The baboon thing commanded. Naruto stood up with slight hesitation. His hesitation was in that he didn't really know what the thing had just told him to do.
The animal called Oko detached his cape, folded it, and laid it down with the utmost of care. He then walked his monkey self around the fire.
"Ok, ok. Now take yo shirt and shoes off." Naruto turned to the two brothers who both shrugged. He reluctantly kicked off his sandals and took off his grungy t-shirt.
"Foot, up!" Naruto blinked and lifted his right foot up. He had to quickly adjust his weight as the animal took his foot and seemed to… inspect it?
No, the baboon called Oko was inspecting his… toe nails?
"Ummm…"
"Good, good. Now that's interesting." Oko began mumbling under his breath. He closed one eye and put there other right up next to his pinky toe. He took it away a second later and nodded solemnly.
"Good."
He then began poking his chest and mumbling. His poking slowly descended. He seemed to poke a bone each time before going onto the next.
"Three, four, five…" He seemed to freeze after counting a few more. He nodded rapidly.
"I like joo boy!" He slapped Naruto on both shoulders before he cocked his head. He stared at the three whiskers for a second before taking a glance at Naruto's stomach.
"Na… dat's interesting…" He ran a hand across Naruto's stomach before taking a step back with a face showing surprise and a fairly large amount of surprise.
He squinted his eyes giving the blonde boy a curious stare. He nodded to himself.
"Ja, ja. Very interesting."
He hurriedly made his way over to the fire. He reached under his cape things and pulled out a green bowl. The bowl was filled with a strange powder.
"That stuff wasn't under that cape a second ago…"
Oko was suddenly face to face with Naruto, "IT'S A WALIK BOY AND JOO BEST DAMN WELL REMEMBA DAT!" Naruto was sent tumbling backwards.
Naruto, from the ground, nodded furiously.
He hesitantly made his way to a standing position.
"Cool." Was Oko's somewhat bipolar answer.
The brother coyote identified as Te'telo murmured out to Naruto, "He's serious about his blanket." Naruto whole heartedly agreed.
As they were saying this, Oko had made a line of the powder around the fire before pouring the rest straight in it.
A small vial appeared out from under the 'walik' and Oko inspected it for a moment. He shook it up a little before tossing it into the fire.
The fire flashed. Red, blue, orange, green, purple, orange, blue. It grew bigger with each changing color before…
"Oh, KUNULA!" Oko chanted out.
Naruto was then greeted by a strange sight. A head, much like that of the two brothers across from him was in the fire. Well, not necessarily in the fire. More made out of fire. If Naruto had to figure, it was a women coyote.
The fiery head turned to Oko and grinned, "Well, well, well. Oko, how long has it been since we've last done this?"
Female voice, definitely female. Her voice carried an odd quality. She talked with a laze, much like the two brothers acted, but it held something familiar.
Power. Her voice sounded a lot like the Old Man, that in of itself spoke volumes.
"A lon', lon' time Kunula." The head composed of flames nodded before she caught in the corner of her eye, the two coyotes sitting by the fire.
"Te'telo and Truok...?" She looked around, but her back was to Naruto so she missed him. "What's the occasion?"
"Yo, Kunula-sama!" Te'telo seemed to shrink away. "Sorry I'm so… late." He laughed nervously.
"Eh," Kunula's disembodied head attempted a shrug. "It happens, but now I believe we have more important matters don't we?" Her teasing voice was accompanied by a small smirk.
Te'telo's grin came back at full force and he lifted his paw towards Naruto. The head slowly rounded on Naruto, before it blinked several times.
"Hmmm…" the coyote pursed her lips before sending a side-long glance at Truok. "Toe nails and rib test if I am not mistaken?"
Truok let out a patented sigh and nodded.
"I thought joo might want to see him. He's one of dem jin-what-cha-calls it."
"Jinchuriki?" The female cocked her head to the side. "Curious."
The fiery head moved out towards Naruto, a long tendril of fire flowing behind it, connecting it to its source.
The head slowly circled him, inspecting him all the way. He was pretty relieved when the fire didn't even touch him.
The flaming, coyote's head came face to face with him and Naruto couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. Even though red and hot, the coyote's eyes seemed mischievously sparkle. She took a long glance at his whiskers again. Her eyes narrowed before they widened.
"Oh my…" The head let out a small giggle. "This is too ironic to pass up."
"Huh?" was Naruto's intelligent response.
"If I am correct, my little Te'telo has taken a liking to you." The head turned to Te'telo, the fiery tendril still circling Naruto.
He nodded and grinned. "Yea, the kid does some fun pranks."
Naruto was still confused. Did his pranks really cause this?
"Well let's see." Kunula turned back to Naruto and slyly grinned. "He's got the mind, he's no doubt got the potential for some fun and that's not mentioning the irony of it all."
"Huh? What… irony?" Naruto's question of what the word meant was misunderstood.
"Oh you don't know the story, little…"
"Naruto."
"Little Naruto." She bowed her head slightly. "It's pure, unadulterated irony that the container of the Kyuubi no Kitsune be a Coyote Summoner. With our past and all, it's just too perfect." She let out a cute little laugh, but didn't fail to notice Naruto's dumbfounded expression.
"Wha…what?"
"Oh…" Kunula's eyes were wide with concern. "You didn't know?"
Naruto didn't answer right away and instead ran his fingers over his whisker marks, tracing them
"I… I don't understand." He looked up and appeared much like he was. A young, confused child.
The fiery coyote head was perturbed. Kunula was a trickster and flirt first and for most. She didn't like cruel or unfair circumstances that were placed upon children, and that's not even counting without their knowledge.
"Well…" She glanced around at those surrounding the fire.
"You've been doing the world a great deed little Naruto, holding back such a fearsome beast." She said with the utmost sincerity. "You're practically a hero." Kunula's head smiled cheerfully.
A second fiery tendril emerged, in the shape of a paw.
"And heroes, as you no doubt know, always get a…" the flaming paw snaked towards the stationairy Naruto. "… a reward."
The paw lashed out with speed Naruto had never witnessed before and tapped him on his right bicep. Naruto yelped and fell back in shock, as if he hadn't had enough already today. He ran his hand along where there should be a burn but all that there was a strange black paw mark.
He stood, his eyes never leaving the mark as it seemed to twist around for a second. It then started growing.
The mark flowed into lines, and the lines made dips and curves running along his arm. The dips and curves swirled and twirled and conjoining to make a strange pattern. Soon, his entire arm was covered in a large black design. It almost seemed like a tattoo.
He looked up, wide eyed, at the three animals and their disembodied head leader. They all seemed to watch with interest and Te'telo was grinning like a child with a new toy. But why did they look so…
Hazy. Their faces became hazy, fuzzy. He swayed on his feet for a second as the world seemed to spin around him.
"Wha…?" the words slurred out of his mouth.
"Now, little Naruto." The leader of the Coyote clan cooed. "Sleep, all will be well in the morning."
As Naruto fell back, he distinctly heard the words "second seal" coming from Kunula.
He couldn't help but also notice that the ground felt an awful lot like a soft blanket.
A little blood, a few hand seals and poof. A handy little friend is just there. Summoning really was a wonderful and useful little jutsu.
"Sarutobi? No fight I see…" The Monkey King peered around. "So this is no business call."
"Actually, no."
Enma crouched down on top of a chair and looked at his summoner expectantly.
The Sandaime Hokage rubbed his forehead, each crease and winkle seemed to stand out at that moment. His ivory pipe lay to the side, still smoking.
"I have a little problem and I believe you could help me with it."
The shaggy haired monkey cocked his head. Sarutobi wasn't one to turn down help, but the last time he had asked for help in something other than battle was a good 20 to 30 years ago. Enma knew Sarutobi though, and there were only a few things he would need info from him about. He went with the most obvious one.
"Well, ok Sarutobi I'll help as best I can." He popped a small bottle out of his stripped jacket.
"Now this is the greatest invention you will ever see."
He shook the bottle a little and a small blue ball popped out. The Hokage quirked his eye brow as the Monkey King went into what seemed to be a strange sales add.
"It's made mainly from the extract of the Long Leafed Agraiv Plant. They are only found in a certain area in some remote mountains." He waved his hand vaguely before tossing the small ball to Sarutobi.
He held the blue ball up and inspected it for a second.
"One of those…"
Sarutobi shook his head slightly in disappointment and frustration. "Enma, I didn't call you here to-"
"…and you'll be going all night. I usually need it. I don't got the stamina I use to and a King's harem requires a lot."
Sarutobi sat in silence for a second. He looked at the small pill with much more reverence.
"Really?"
"Oh you betcha. This stuff is-"
The Hokage shook his head rapidly. "No, not now. We have other matters."
"Oh." Enma missed the Hokage slipping the pill between his robes.
The wrinkled man sighed.
"Yes, yes. I have some questions that need to be answered." He gestured to the crystal ball sitting in the center of his desk.
Enma hopped from his seat to a crouching position on the edge of the desk.
"Isn't that…?" The crystal ball displayed a small blonde boy wrapped in covers laying with his back to them. He seemed to be having a troubling night's sleep as he tossed and turned.
"Yes, Naruto Uzumaki. The one the Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi into, but that's not the point of tonight's interest." The boy, as if on cue, rolled all the way over revealing his right arm.
The distinctive markings of a summoning tattoo covered up most, if not all, of the young boy's arm.
"What tha…" Enma's mouth was agape.
He had seen and even given summoning tattoos before, but this boy was six, maybe seven. There is no possible way he just happened to get a summoning contract that early. It was unheard of.
"My thoughts exactly when I looked in on him a little while ago."
"But what contract could it be?"
"Toad would make sense, but…"
"Fox would too, which is a scary thought."
"Yes, yes. But I believe I found a clue that you could shed some light on."
'The Professor' placed his hands on the ball and focused for a moment. The vision backed up and turned towards the boy's door. It drifted forwards and phased through the door before turning to the blonde haired child's kitchen.
On the table sat a monkey with a very red buttocks and a cape, who was speaking to two wolf like creatures.
While Sarutobi had become an expert in the ways of Lip Reading, his skills weren't exactly tailored to talking animals. The orb didn't project sound either so they could only draw straws on what was being said.
"You're shitting me…"
Sarutobi picked up his pipe and refreshed it's burn with a small sealless Katon.
"I was hoping you could account for the ape, but the other two animals I have not seen the likes before." He puffed on his pipe a little before blowing a small ring out. It wasn't exactly false, he had seen wolves and many dogs curtsy of the Inuzuka. The things in Naruto's apartment were as far as he knew, not dogs or wolves of any kind, but still very similar.
The King circled the globe, even though it was of little use.
"Oh man, this is not good for you Sarutobi."
The aging man took the pipe from his mouth.
"What do you mean?"
"That's not one under my tribe but I can tell you what all three of them are." He turned to Sarutobi and a small grin cracked. "They are of the Coyote tribe."
The Hokage famous for his intelligence and extensive knowledge was for once stumped. "I don't believe I have heard of them before."
"Yea, not likely but all summons know them. You could say that they are some of the most entertaining summons around."
"Entertaining?"
"Yea, quite. One time…" The Monkey king palmed his face for a second with a nostalgic grin. "They took Manda's shed skin and put it near the Thunder Hawk's main nesting area. Oh man, you should have seen it afterwards."
"Awww man, that was classic." He let out a laugh and wiped away the beginnings of a tear.
"So they are…" Sarutobi searched for the right word before he made a small revelation. They were almost perfect for Naruto. "Pranksters?"
"More so than that. Tricksters and shape shifters of the highest caliber. Me and my little staff transformation is child's play compared to what some of them can do."
Enma heard his summoner gulp rather dramatically. "Do…do their summoners inherit that ability?"
Enma propped his head on his chin before shrugging. "Yea, I am pretty sure. It's been awhile since I spoke to them and the last was…" Enma looked away, with a rosy color rising on his cheeks, under the fur.
"Their boss…" The boss of the Monkey tribe let out a happy sigh and blushed. As in the lord of all ape kind, blushing like a little school girl with a crush.
"Enma, are you…?"
The monkey snapped out of his daze. "Huh? What? Oh…" he glanced at his summoner. "Oh, oh yea."
The Hokage's face became deadpan. "And what exactly was that?"
"Oh… well." He blushed again. "Kunula-chan… she's…"
Sarutobi, in all his years knowing Enma, had never once heard him refer to anyone so intimately.
"Did you and this Kunula…?" The lecherous man let out a perverted giggle.
"Oh god I wish!" He rose slightly and brought his fist up, becoming very reminiscent of a certain spandex wearing duo.
They both sat in an awkward silence for a second.
"You're a fanboy…"
"Shut up, little man."
"The greatest ape summon in history is a fanboy."
"I'm warning you, Sarutobi."
The loud chuckle of an old man sounded through the Hokage's Tower. It was abruptly cut short by the sound of something adamantite breaking a desk in half.
"Ok, now that was uncalled for Enma."
"I warned you."
The man picked up his crystal ball and dusted it off. He paused and the air around him became serious.
"Enma."
"Yea, Sarutobi?"
"Are they a threat?"
"To the boy or the village?"
The Hokage let out a small sigh, thinking of better days when such questions didn't exist.
"Either."
"Well… the Coyotes are some of the most vengeful summons but not in the way you would expect."
"How so?"
The monkey-man rubbed his chin before answering. "Where someone else would kill a person who wronged them, they would instead humiliate that person, mess up their life, and then just grin while whistling innocently."
Sarutobi suddenly found himself wishing that Naruto had stumbled onto the Fox or Toad contract instead.
"In other words…" Sarutobi started as he looked out the window at Konoha with much pity.
Enma let loose a feral grin, reminding Sarutobi that even the most intelligent summons don't let go of all of their animalistic tendencies, and finished.
"Most of Konoha is utterly screwed."
AN:
If you thought Oko was over the top and inconsistent (not to mention a little bipolar), then I accomplished what I wanted as a character.
Yep, Naruto the Coyote Summoner.
No, Sarutobi won't interfere as long as it isn't dangerous. And no again he won't have a diligent teacher turning him into a super ninja. Te'telo will be teaching him to transform and a female Coyote later on will show him a few fun little things and that's pretty much it. This isn't a Super!Naruto fic.
Next Chapter: The Second Seal, a Lesson in Shape Shifting and maybe a trick or two.