This chapter took so long to get out because I was gone from my computer with the chapter in it for a good 2 months. My apologies for it there. Any ways, here it is.
The Barking Trickster
Chapter 3
The Fox and the Hound
Hana Inuzuka had always been praised for her nose. Even by Inuzuka standards she had a particularly good nose. Then again she was the next in the long line of Matriarchs of the more human side of the Inuzuka clan, so her nose was expected to outshine others.
It wasn't surprising that she would be aware of anyone or anything that entered the range of her nostrils and that's how she noticed a scent that nipped at the edges of her senses. Familiar yet not intimately known.
So she swiveled her head around and low and behold, there stood one of the harder mysteries of Konoha. Naruto Uzumaki, Orange Loving Fiend Extraordinaire, and someone she by all rights should stay away from or at least not follow.
Inuzuka's had a way of following their own rules.
She had ran into a bit of a snag though.
"Where the hell is he!?" She threw her arms up in frustrations, causing three whimpers to sound behind her. 'All that's out here is that freaky training ground and trees!'
"You guy's got any idea?" She said rounding on her three dogs. They could only shake their heads.
"I don't get it." She said going into a thinking pose, tapping foot and all. Her dogs listened in rapt attention. "How could he just disappear?"
It was a good question. How could a boy who reeked of ramen just disappear in the middle of the forest? It wasn't like the entire place was covered in a similar scent to the boys. Sure a few animals here and there but most was almost entirely woodland.
His scent still lingered though, its source just dissipated. As if into thin air. Only someone with intense counter-tracking training could pull this off.
Not some 9-year-old Academy Student who was just starting to learn his first jutsu.
But it seemed that she was beaten at her own game. She, who located a ninja waiting in ambush while her Jounin-sensei remained oblivious. She, who could tell you where the iron that your kunai was made of came from with just a whiff.
She, who was out smarted… out maneuvered… or just TRICKED by someone who hadn't even gotten their fucking head band yet.
Her eyebrow ticked. She cut her hand across before spreading her fingers out. The message was well understood by her companions.
'Spread out and find the bastard.'
Little known fact, dogs could sigh. And shrug. And believe that they will never understand humans mating rituals. Though they wouldn't mention that last one in the present company at the present time.
She leaned down and rubbed her hands across the ground for a second. Even though Inuzuka usually relied on their nose, that didn't mean they didn't learn other methods of tracking.
Light foot steps, small kid. Obviously Naruto. She followed the trail around a large, twisting tree.
And it ended.
As abruptly as the smell ended, the small tracks ended.
'Did he jump into the trees or something?' She pondered as she looked up to make sure he wasn't just standing there…
Her eyes widened as she caught the scent. Very, very close and behind her.
She should have been more careful when she pivoted on the balls of her feet. Her carelessness lost her some face and a little humiliation as she came face to face with Naruto Uzumaki…
…and fell back with a loud effeminate "EEP!".
For her credit, she didn't tumble all over the ground. Merely just landed on her butt and looked up to the kid who wasn't there a moment before.
The lack of tracks made more sense now that she could clearly see him hanging upside down from a tree. His face scrunched up in confusion as his legs held a low branch.
On second thought, it wasn't really confusion entirely. Some confusion true but there was a fair amount of curiosity
"You should be more careful," he comment as he nodded wisely.
Hana felt the urge to throttle him as she stood up and glared at the boy, who remained oblivious to the girl's ire.
"How the hell did you do that?!" Naruto found himself suddenly on the ground and being shaken back and forth.
Naruto was having a strange day, to put it simply.
First he is being follow by some random girl.
Then he loses her and she starts throwing a small hissy fit.
Then when he shows himself she starts shaking him like a rag doll.
He had yet to take note of the fact that she was straddling him rather… awkwardly. Then again, he probably wouldn't assume much about that.
She on the other hand…
Hana stared down at the dazed kid before coming to the realization that she looked to be the in the middle of raping an under-aged boy. Choking and straddling had that effect.
When Naruto came back to his senses he found a well composed Hana tapping her foot expectantly. She stared right at him.
Cue awkward silence.
…"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Well are you going to tell me how you just disappeared?!"
"What? I didn't go anywhere!"
"Well you might as well have, you all but vanished."
"… I'm not following."
Hana gritted her teeth before answering.
"You… utterly… disappeared. I was tracking you and I couldn't find one single bit of you after a certain point."
Naruto's face scrunched up in honest confusion this time.
"Why were you tracking me?"
For the first time in the conversation, Hana hesitated.
"I… uhh… That's beside the point."
"I think you tracking me like a rabbit or something is a big point."
"It was…a… a game!" Hana seemed rather proud of her quick thinking.
Naruto's eyes lit up and he rolled to his feet.
"Awesome!"
Hana took a step back at the increase of enthusiasm.
"Ummm…"
"If you can't find me 2 hours, you owe me free ramen!"
"Wait, what?"
"And if you can find me…" Naruto scratched the back of his head and looked over in the distance. A light suddenly appeared over his head.
His grin turned mischievous and Hana had the feeling that this wasn't going to end well.
"I'll tell you how I disappear!"
She instantly perked up and returned her own feral grin.
"Oh you're on, blondy."
"Awesome!" Naruto shot his fist up into the air before taking a step backwards.
With a wink and a wave he dived behind a tree.
Hana noticed his smell suddenly lacking any location.
She quickly pursued around the tree and found…
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. No tracks, no scent except for the animals, or even a trace of chakra.
He just utterly disappeared… again.
Hana let out a snarling like sound and began searching around for signs of his passing.
In her search she missed two ravens who both gave the strangest impression that they were smirking… and for completely different reasons.
The Hokage's Tower always held a stillness about it. A silence. Though silent, one couldn't say it was oppressive. The Hokages of the past had made sure that their main place of work was open and even inviting.
Ninja just had a way of going about their business. Silent. That of course didn't stop birds from singing or the streets natural noise from filtering in.
But the moment was that of morning, the birds had just begun to warm their wings, and the streets had yet to fill.
That is why the light clacking of hard shoes was so easily discernable, even to the civilian secretary of the Hokage.
The secretary blanched as she first noticed the sound and turned her full attention away from her little pile of work to the sounds origin. She knew what appointment was scheduled, but it didn't stop her from being surprised by the sound.
She stood, slightly, behind her desk to peek around the doorway. Almost as if on cue, the figure emerged and revealed itself… or should we say herself.
The woman was, for lack of a better word, dazzling.
Raven tresses hung like a curtain of night, lolling down her shoulders almost carelessly. On those same shoulders hung the edges of a crimson kimono, seemingly ready to droop at a moment's notice and reveal just a sliver more of skin.
The same kimono, which at a second glance almost appeared to be a robe with how it barely scrapped the ground, a flowery pattern weaved its way across the cloth before drifting to the side revealing fine legs. They were no doubt muscular, but they weren't pronounced in the slightest. At the very bottom, the reason for the clacking sound found blame in high heel shoes reminiscent of Tsunade of the Sannin.
The only thing betraying that this woman was not a goddess given flesh was the Konoha headband, embedded in the leather binding her breasts. It was impossible not to look at it without taking a good glance at the woman's cleavage, which while not much more than the secretary's own, was much more pronounced and eye catching thanks to the kimono.
It was odd almost how easily overlooked her face was, it was just as striking as the rest of her but at the same time… easy to forget. The secretary had met the woman on several occasions but every time after, the moment she went out of sight, for the life of her she couldn't remember the women's face.
Finally, green eyes sparkled mischievously as the women took notice of the secretaries taking in of her figure.
"Now now now Atsuko-kun." The secretary, now named Atsuko, snapped her head up to meet eye to eye with the woman. The women's voice matched her appearance to a letter. Invitingly warm with a tinge of authority. "There will be time to drink in the appearances of pretty ladies later."
Atsuko blushed atomic red and sputtered out, "I-I wasn't-"
"I'm sure you weren't dear, but I believe I am here to see Sarutobi-kun." A gentle smile graced crimson lips.
"Oh, yes. Right away." The secretary pushed a small red button on a metallic contraption on her desk and leaned into.
"Hokage-sama, Division Director Kiku-sama is here to see you."
A moment of silence other than the shuffling papers behind closed doors.
A light came on the same device Atsuko had just spoken to, before the Hokage's voice projected itself outwards.
"Yes, send her right in Atsuko-chan."
"The Hokage will see you now." She motioned with her hands to the door, only making eye contact for a moment before becoming incredibly focused on a pencil that lay on her desk.
"Thank you, Atsuko-kun." Another far too inviting and pleasant smile.
As Kiku took clacking strides to the door, she winked at one corner and waved her fingers at another. Both seemingly filled with nothing but shadow.
She cracked a small smirk, lightly indicating held back laughter.
The two hidden ANBU didn't find it funny though.
Sarutobi was a man that had good tastes.
People assumed that when someone got truly powerful that they just let other people handle smaller things. While this was true for some Kages and such but he had always been rather fond of handling all his own little chores.
He had made the formerly Spartan-like Hokage's living complex into an extremely cozy little compound that messengers and delivery men often had small scuffles about who would get to go to it.
He refurnished most, if not all, of the Hokage's Tower with fine, but not gaudy, paintings and some of the finest rugs from Grass littered the floors and hallways.
Sarutobi also had excellent tastes in women. His wife, may she rest in peace, was one of the most terrifyingly beautiful women he had ever met. The woman put the Fire in "The Will of Fire". It was almost like some Shinobi romance story, with him falling for her after she burned down two whole squads of ANBU single handedly while he dealt with a near Boss level summon.
Even the pipe he puffed on was exquisite. A heavily herbal smoke puffed out, glazing the room over with a pleasant scent.
That was why Sarutobi could appreciate the woman sitting in front of him. She was, like him, someone with good taste. He could even admit that she outclassed him in that regard. Then again she did that with nearly everyone. Everything on the woman, while not always expensive, was always of the finest make.
It also helped that she was a vixen of the highest caliber and could make men (and a few women) drool with just a shake of the hip.
That's not even bringing in the factor that she was the epitome of the "Ideal Kunoichi" that was often preached across the Elemental Nations. Well… she appeared to be. She liked it that way, no doubt.
"Pleasure call Sarutobi-kun?"
The old man chuckled audibly.
"No, I'd rather not wake up dead."
The Kiku frowned, even if it was a teasing fake frown.
"I haven't done that in years Sarutobi-kun and you know that."
"Didn't someone once say that old habits die hard?"
"You act like I enjoyed all the deceit and back stabbing." A scandalous visage.
The man could only look at her with a blank face.
She relented slightly and admitted, "Ok, I maybe a little."
"And that's why you were so good at it my dear."
"Oh my, praise from the Hokage. Be still my racing heart!" Of all the things the girl inherited from her old sensei, the flair for dramatics was probably the most amusing. She smiled from behind her hand that she had brought up to cover her face.
"So if it's not pleasure and it must be business." She pursed her lips. "And I can't recall the time I ever had to come directly to you for something… except…"
She leaned forwards, unfolding her legs. Her eyes wide and amusement danced freely in them.
"You," she motioned towards Sarutobi. "Found someone of interest."
She smirked and leaned back into a comfortable position, crossing her legs again. Her hands came together and she propped her chin upon them.
Sarutobi let out a deep chuckle from the stomach, causing smoke to roll out of his mouth like a furnace. The reason he chuckled was the simple fact that she no doubt figured this all out some time ago and more than likely planned out this whole little charade.
"Right, like always, Kiku-chan."
An ornate fan spread, covering her face from view with a flowery pattern. She was smiling behind it of course.
"Now the question is, whom?"
"You know him actually."
"Him?" Sarutobi had to suppress his smirk at her surprised tone. Kiku was not someone easily surprised.
"Yes him."
It was honest surprise. Kiku was a little discriminatory when it came to that. It was partially from the reason that she couldn't stand most male ninjas. She classified most if not all as "little boys who couldn't stand losing at the their continent wide pissing contest". That's not to say that some women didn't have the same problem. It was also a factor that most men lacked the... finesse she required of her underlings.
Her work didn't produce instant gratification and as much as many of them claim, most ninja needed that. They wanted that legendary name, big bounties on them, and their name in that fancy section of the bingo book.
Kiku should be at the legendary level though.
But no. Most villages viewed her as harmless. An unremarkable Jounin whose only claim to fame was her former sensei and team mate.
If they knew half the things she did, she would be kill-on-sight in three major Ninja villages. That is, if they could even recognize her.
The fan still covered her face as she responded.
"I haven't noticed anyone interesting enough for a personal meeting between us… "The fan snapped shut and revealing a wild smile. "He must be very good then."
"It's actually not what you think."
She cocked her head, demurely.
Sarutobi cracked a grin before producing a familiar ball.
"Why don't I just show you?"
She nodded and looked on expectantly.
The ball seemed to fill with a twirling haze the moment Sarutobi touched his fingers to the seemingly thin glass.
It twisted before settling and slowly unfogging. An image becoming more and more clear.
It was apparently a small apartment. Fairly untidy, the young man's Kiku was sure. A t-shirt with an orange spiral was in the center of the ball and seemed to be the main focus.
Sarutobi shifted the perspective until they had looked all around that particular apartment. Other than a large amount of ramen and a stuffed closet there was nothing very noteworthy.
"Hmmm, not at home. Not wearing…" Sarutobi's eyes unfocused. "Oh."
The old man focused some before…
The ball fogged quickly and began twirling again. This time it focused quicker.
The sight that greeted Kiku was…
"No offense to either of them but…" Kiku backed away skeptically. "Minato-kun wasn't even worthy of noting when it came to infiltration skills and Kushina-chan was a bit too loud for anything requiring great stealth."
The son of the two figures sat on a tree branch and seemed to be talking to himself. His feet dangled lazily, swishing back and forth. A peculiar raven-like bird sat at his side and seemed to start making some sound, maybe a caw.
Kiku became even more perplexed when Naruto grinned at the bird and began talking again… but this time right towards the black bird.
"Is he…?"
"Yes, he is talking to the bird."
"But…" Kiku, perhaps one of the greatest Intelligence Directors that Konoha has ever had and S-Ranked Infiltrator, was utterly confused.
As far as Sarutobi could remember, this hadn't happened in a decade or two.
"And that's not the weirdest part." Kiku made eye contact before focusing entirely on the orb infront of her. She was literally on the edge of her seat.
"Something to do with the Kyuubi?"
"No, believe it or not." She shot a glance at him again.
"Then…" She quirked an eyebrow as he seemed to stiffen before swing his head to look behind him. He hopped off the branch and…
Kiku's mouth stood agape.
What landed on the ground wasn't a boy of any kind. It was…
"…A cat?"
"Now tell me this isn't worthy of some attention."
She took brief note of a feral girl landing in the spot Naruto had occupied a moment before, but the glass fogged back up before becoming crystal clear once again.
Kiku regained her composure quickly and waited for Sarutobi to provide some sort of an explanation.
"As you can guess, the boy's got the good making of becoming a good infiltrator and I'll tell you that he isn't limited to just that of a cat." 'The Professor' smirked. "I trust I don't need to fill you in on the boy's information."
Kiku wasn't often the underdog in a conversation, so it was natural that Sarutobi caught the slight tightening around the eyes. She had to hold back a glare.
"Naruto Uzumaki. Academy Student. Container of the Kyuubi no Kitsune. Son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki. Blonde, cerulean eyes. Insane stamina that could be attributed to the Kyuubi…" She finished with the monotone report before becoming a bit more familiar and intimate. "… Or his mother. Loves ramen and fixates on the color orange. Is often tributed with several pranks but as of late couldn't be called out on any of them. Not enough evidence or just too fantastical of a claim. Wants to be the Hokage and ironically protect the village."
Sarutobi frown at the last part. If it was anyone else, he might have thought they might have meant 'also' or some other word. Not Kiku though… she knew what she meant and so did he.
"I check up on him on occasion." Sarutobi of course knew this, just like he also knew that a copy of all Naruto's information landed in his former, perverted student's hands some way or another.
"Yes well, it seems your info will have a new addition."
"And how exactly should I word that addition, hmmm?"
"The first reported Coyote Summoner."
Kiku masterfully hid any of her surprise. Last time was an utter accident and she no doubt felt some amount of embarrassment.
"Coyote. I don't believe I have heard of that tribe."
"Not surprising. I had to ask Enma to find any information."
A quirked eyebrow. The air shifted. It became strangely formal.
"Is it some chakra technique?"
"That is something I am not even sure about. To my knowledge, he has never gotten tired just from transforming. We would have to ask him. As far as I can tell it is some sort of inheritance from the tribe."
"Any known limitations? I can assume that bird was one of those summons."
"I can't always find him, but I've yet to see him change into a female and he seems to have had a hard time with changing into an animal until a year ago. I believe that he has had that summon with him continually, whom I've seen take both male and female forms."
"That begs the question, how long has he had the contract."
"Three years, give or take a few months."
Kiku's fan spread out, her eyes becoming a bit less half-lidded. "Oh my. If he's had that one summon around for three years…"
"He's got the coils for it, thanks to the Kyuubi partially."
"And you know what they say about guys with big chakra reserves."
Sarutobi sputtered out smoke and went into a hacking cough. Kiku closed the fan and tapped it on her cheek with a ponderous expression.
"I suppose if he's anything like Minato-kun he would end up breaking a few hearts by his late teens."
Sarutobi had recovered from the bluntness the usually subtle woman has displayed.
"9-years-old!"
Kiku let out a lady-like scoff.
"It's not like I am chasing the boy myself, too much like Minato-kun for my tastes…"
Sarutobi sighed.
"…Then again, if he can transform…"
He palmed his face. He should have known better than to put Kiku in that situation earlier.
"…I wonder if he can transform into anything …"
'That's it, after this I am getting out the 'good stuff' '
He glanced up at her. He found her deep in thought or at least appearing that way.
"Are you quite done, Kiku-chan."
She snapped out her thoughts or once again appeared to. She seemed a just-little-bit too surprised to notice him there.
"I'm not sure what you mean Sarutobi-kun."
He cleared his throat and straightened his back, signaling a returning to the business at hand.
"You've no doubt surmised the asset he would be to the Infiltration and Sabotage Division."
"Of course but what do you purpose we do exactly? Not like we can induct an academy student into a branch of ANBU without some unrest."
"You act like you don't already have ideas for him, Kiku-chan. He's like you and your techniques in some regards, only much more advance."
"Well…" She cocked her head to the side, her hair glimmered strangely. Almost looking red. She then cocked it the other way, it shined again. This time stark white. "I have a few. Most of which would let him stay on a normal ninja track until around, let's say, Chuunin?"
"Around Chuunin is good, lets him be on a team and form some bonds but even Genin is a few years off for him." He frowned around his pipe, smoke puffing out of the top. "But that's good time he could be learning important skills, but I suppose he could refine his own through pranks and personal practice."
"You suppose but…" Kiku let out a wicked grin that would have scarred a lesser man. "I have a better idea."
She reached out with her fan and tapped a paper on the Hokage's desk. It was a paper that reported on several curriculum that teachers would be teaching at the academy. She tapped on one in particular.
His eye brow went up several notches.
"I see a little bit of the sadism of yours is still there."
"Well you never said he wouldn't be able to turn fully into a female sooner or later."
The Third Hokage couldn't help but feel some amount of regret.
'Definitely getting out the 'good stuff''
"You know…" Naruto began as he twisted his chop sticks around, twirling the ramen into a big ball. "There was once or twice where you were really close."
He popped the ball of ramen in his mouth and began munching. He glanced down and found a lone naruto twirling to the side. A second later and it had some company in his mouth.
People who had seen Naruto dining on ramen can attest to one fact. He didn't eat it.
He inhaled it.
That is unless one certain condition is met.
Someone else pays for it.
It was easy to believe that the boy would simply eat someone's wallet out when they offer to pay, but truthfully he savored it.
He wasn't sure, but when someone else paid for his ramen… it… was…heavenly. It's wonderful when he pays, but free?
Needless to say, Naruto found out that stuff was even better when it was free.
Of course the person paying never knew this, so they could only assume he was mocking them with his strange increase of manners.
Naruto tipped the bowl into his mouth and drained the rest of the contents before smacking it down and releasing a happy sigh.
His eating partner grumbled as she poked at her ramen.
"Come on cheer up! I'll give you another chance to buy me ra…" He caught himself a little too dramatically to be fake. "To catch me!"
The dog girl's eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"What happened today was pure fucking luck."
"Then I'm the luckiest guy in the world." He wagged his eyebrows in what he supposed was a comical manner. He had seen Te'telo do it several times when making jokes about women that he never really understood.
Hana quirked an eyebrow. 'Did he really just…' She shook her head to clear it. 'Nine-year-olds don't make perverted jokes.'
"You shouldn't waste ramen nee-chan." She glanced at the boy as he wagged his chop sticks at her with a scolding tone.
"My name is Hana," she corrected through clenched teeth.
"Don't change the subject Hana-nee-chan."
The girl laid her head on the table and whispered out, "Insufferable."
"I don't even know what that means, but if it means that you're wasting good ramen then it can go die in a fire."
Her head came up and she starred at him with a glimmer of curiosity.
"Good ears." She commented.
"I…" Whatever Naruto was about to say was interrupted by another bowl of ramen being placed infront of him. "You read my mind old man!"
He dug in with relish. Hana could only sigh as casual conversation was overlooked for simple ramen and start picking at her own dish again.
"So…" Naruto said with a full mouth. He noticeably gulped it all down. "You like dogs a lot or something?"
Hana gave him a blank stare. Her three dogs, who were lazing about after running around the forest for the better part of the morning, simply lifted their heads and joined their mistress.
"What?" He asked after a moment of intense silence. He decided to get some extra ramen in if they were just going to sit there and say nothing.
"You really don't know who the Inuzuka are?"
"Inu-who?" which came out as "Ira-roo" due to Naruto's full mouth. He swallowed, again with relish, and smacked his lips. "You talking about that Kiba guy?"
"Yea, he is my brother. We are both part of the Inuzuka clan."
Naruto nodded his head for a second, faking understanding, but quickly perked up.
"OH! You guys are the guys with the talking dogs and stuff?" He rounded on the closest dog, Eki the only female of the triplets. "Can you talk?"
Eki let out a low, unmenacing growl. A definite "Not yet", if you could understand dogs that is.
"Oh…" Naruto looked a bit disappointed. He frowned. "Whatever. You'll figure it out!"
Hana was about to continue eating before something picked at her…
"Did you just understand her?"
"Huh?"
Hana frowned. 'No, that's not possible.'
Naruto scratched the back of his neck for a moment before shrugging.
"Sorry, I thought you…" She trailed off as he become uninterested and ended up rubbing Eki on the head. "Never mind."
"You say something?" He looked upwards with a confused expression.
Another sigh of frustration.
The boy shrugged and turned back to the dog.
"You guys are cool." Hana realized that Naruto was indeed talking to her dogs even though he had no idea if they understood him or not.
"But cats are cool too."
Four deadpan faces looked right at him.
"What? Man, you four look so much alike right now…"
Hana felt her eyebrow tick.
"What the hell is that suppose to mean?!" She tackled him out of his stool and they were once again on the ground. She shook him… again. She wasn't usually set off by such simple things but the boy had been raking on her nerves.
"I-I-I-I a-a-a-a-m-m-m j-j-j-u-u-s-s-s-t." Hana stopped her shaking and brought his face right up to hers. Her eyes were narrow and Naruto's danger sense was going haywire.
"I-I'm just saying…" He made a hesitant little shrug. "A c-cat is fine too."
Hana could only look at him incredulously. She let go of his shirt and slowly raised herself to her feet.
With a dusting of her hands she corrected the stools they both sat on.
With that, the two settled into an awkward silence with the two workers of the ramen stand as witness.
"Sorry."
Naruto turned to her a little meekly, but that was before he noticed her half empty bowl of ramen.
"I'll forgive you if you stop messing around and eat you're ramen."
The previous silence was forgotten as they stepped back into conversation.
"Oh come off it. It's some good noodles but it's not something worthy of worship."
There were two gasps, from Ichiraku and his daughter. Hana gave them a strange, confused look before realizing they were looking at Naruto.
She turned to find his head lowered, his hair covering his eyes from view.
The Haimaru Triplets back pedaled away from the scene, their animal instincts shouting at them to do so.
A deep growl originated from somewhere in the blonde boy's chest that had Hana quirking an eyebrow.
"What's your pro-AHHH!" She let out a loud yell as it was Naruto's turn to tackle her to ground, with a snarl no less.
"How dare you?! Ichiraku's is the best damn ramen in the world!" Neither noticed that they were again in a compromising position.
Hana used her superior size and rolled over, gaining the upper hand.
"There's no way you can even know that you little punk!"
Hana relented for a second, which proved foolish as Naruto showed strength a boy of his size shouldn't really have and once again claimed the high ground in their little tussle.
"WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!"
"Ace?"
"Hmmm?"
"What are you doing?"
"Proving that bitch wrong!" Naruto exclaimed loudly as he drove his fist into the air. Under him lay a map of what could only be the Elemental countries. One particular spot had a large red circle around it.
"You mean the one that was all over you? About what?"
"Yea, Hana something-or-other. She said Ichiraku's wasn't the best ramen in the world and I'm gonna show her the wrongness of her ways!"
"And how exactly are you gonna do that in…" He glanced at the map. "… Lightning Country?"
"Well, you know that festival we got next week?"
Te'telo deadpanned at him, "No…"
"Oh come on you know the one…" Naruto sighed. "The one where you pretended to be that one mean ladies dress that just 'disappeared' in the middle of town?"
"Oh the MILF Festival!"
"You never told me what that means…"
Te'telo shifted into a strange old, white haired man with an exaggeratedly long mustache.
"There are some things you must learn on your own, grasshopper."
"I tried, I swear! That one lady at the store wouldn't explain it though… she just got all red…"
Te'telo, once again a coyote, did a small double take and raised an eyebrow. 'I was so right, this kid is the epitome of entertaining.' "You just keep asking the older ladies, I'm sure one will answer you sooner or later."
Te'telo almost winced when he thought of when Naruto actually found out what it meant. He would probably either make his life hell or wrap one of those exploding pieces of paper around his tail. Then again… 'If he gets laid, I'll get a thank you.'
He decided he liked that scenario better. He then remembered the 'MILF Festival' (as he liked to call that certain festival because of the above mentioned 'mean lady') and the Lightning Country.
"Oh yea, what's the festival got to do with all this."
"Well, I got the whole week off from the Academy for the Spring Festival" Te'telo mentally reminded himself 'MILF Festival'. "I could skip but a whole week straight would probably really piss them off and…"
"And…?"
"And this town in Lightning Country just so happens to have a second part added to the festival to bring in a lot of guests." He traced the red circle on the map over and over again while grinning.
"And that is…?"
"The Spring Ramen Festival."
AN:
Kiku: The ANBU Intelligence Director. Ibiki reports to her and so does a few other divisions of ANBU. Only the ANBU Commander and the Hokage are above her in rank. Interesting factoid, she isn't technically an OC. You see her in the Naruto Anime but she looks much different and is alot younger. I won't directly say who, but there are a few hints.
Next chapter is wacky hijinks at the "Spring Ramen Festival". It may just have a few cameos of well known characters.And of course Ramen, don't forget the ramen.