First off, thank you so much to those of you who read the first chapter.! And further gratitude to those who commented or added me to their favourites and so on, your support is awesome! Now I must admit with some shame, that the next two Chapters have not come as easily as I would have liked, and I fear they may be a little long winded. Again, any constructive criticism is wonderful and if you have anything to comment upon, I promise that I will take it into account, and probably change the story based upon it!
Happy reading…
Nothing but contradictions floated in her mind as the young King closed the distance between them.
"Lief, please don't…" she murmured as he stepped closer, she wanted desperately to be miles away from him, but her feet refused to take the initiative. She wanted to shove him away, but the pressure her hands applied against his chest was so feeble that she easily folded into him. Jasmine could have melted, so very easily, like metal in a smith's fire. She could have allowed herself to be unguarded and totally exposed, oblivious to anything else around her. These strong arms made her feel as though there were a barricade against anything that could bring her harm. Finally her inhibitions receded, and her emotions spilled to the surface, dictating her movement and reaction as Jasmine returned the tentative, gentle and unsure kiss she had received.
It lasted only a blissful moment, as sense and awareness came flooding back. Tearing away, she leapt away from her long-time companion and shook her head fretfully, "What on earth are you doing? Are you not thinking straight!"
Her voice rang out with anger, and Jasmine found she could not control it. How long had she fretted over the possibility of Lief having feelings for her? And how many times had she forced herself to recognise the fact that she could not be the one he chose? How many hours, days even, had been spent pondering such a topic? Jasmine could not even bring herself to look at him, she was so angry with herself for leading him on so far.
Lief shook his head, "Jasmine, I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you-"
He tried to take a step forward, but for every step he took, Jasmine leapt backwards two. Finally glancing up, she knew it had been a horrible thing to do. His face was creased with worry and hurt, and his arms were held out to her like a child would to its mother. It took all her reserve to not run to him, to apologise and tell him that she did not mean it, to touch his face, just as he had stroked hers. Again, her reply was laced with animosity, and although he wouldn't know, it was not directed at him. She was allowing her emotions to be held under such poor control and in the process, continued to hurt Lief.
"Offend me? You should know me better, Lief! You should know that I would never approach you in such a manner. You are my friend, like my brother!"
Her scorn and distaste struck a blow, and before she could retract the comment, Lief responded with equal passion and frustration, "Then I cannot comprehend why, with feelings as they are, that you would return my affection!"
Jasmine shook her head and wrung her hands, she had to say it. He had to know where they must stand. Not where she wanted them to be, but how it must be for the good of their beloved Deltora. Silently, she glanced up at him,
"It was completely unintentional. Had I been aware and not taken by surprise, I would have never -I repeat- never, have reacted. I must make you understand that it was not a requited reaction, I am sorry."
With these words finally delivered, she ached to see the pain that flashed within his blue eyes, eyes she had met many at time, but had never before been the bringer of such suffering. Lief shook his head, cheeks crimson from embarrassment and humiliation, as he spun on his heels and hurriedly exited, hands clenched by his side. It seemed like so long ago she had been rambling to him about her duel with Lindal against Barda and Doom, but it could not have been more than half an hour. With a sense of dread, Jasmine reflected on how things had gone so wrong so quickly, she had seriously injured her friend in a false manner. But she could not be Queen, she could offer very little to the people in that way. She had heard many people make the remark that she would only cause trouble for Lief, that she could not afford to have her as a wife, he needed someone sensible, intelligent and who knew how to run the land. Jasmine doubted that those qualities could be found in her. She would have liked to say that was her only reason -for the greater good- but she was also scared.
Jasmine stood there for some time, leaving enough space between them so that she and Lief would not run into one another again. But practical as ever, she shook her thoughts and strode purposefully through the corridors, despite her eyes burning with the threat of tears. In her fury, she careered into a maid, arms laden with some sort of garment,
"Adin save us, would you watch where you're going!"
"Forgive me, Lady Jasmine… I was, was, meaning to bring you your gown for tonight's festivities." She was obviously flustered by Jasmines brusque attitude, and Jasmine forced herself into a false state of calm, taking a deep breath.
"Thank you, but I won't be needing it. Please return it to who ever sent it." Before she could say any more, she hurried off to her room, flinging herself onto her bed.
All she needed to do was take a deep breath, and to simply look at it logically. Everything would be fine, surely, everything would return to normal. She hardly believed her own reassurance as a fitful rest over took her. It was once and for all disturbed when the bell for dinner rang and the music floated up from below. Curse this night, she thought, for being one of celebration. She hurriedly dressed herself in her a perfect, crisp white shirt, slipping a form-fitting emerald vest over the top before donning on her dress-pants of a dark brown hue, and black polished boots. They weren't really practical, the leather was too stiff and merely for show, but if she didn't attend the celebration of the turning of a new-year, then those closest to them would most certainly be suspicious.
Jasmine had never felt so markedly out of place as she joined the throng of people heading to the Great Hall, especially since it was crowded with respectable ladies attired in beautiful dresses of every colour. Physically, they were faultlessly beautiful but somehow fake and all too similar and alike. Making her way in, Jasmine darted around the edges of the room, moving closer to the familiar, imposing figure of Barda. As she appeared by his side, Sharn glided towards them, raising an eyebrow at Jasmine,
"Ah, I thought you would ignore my offer of the dress, I had hoped the green might have persuaded you?"
"You are much mistaken if you think you will get our wild Birdie into such a frock as these other peacocks!" Roughly, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder and ruffled her hair,
Jasmine easily slipped her slight figure from his grasp, "Child? Well now, you must be trying to preserve your youth if you've resorted to calling me child!" Sharn laughed, noting Jasmine's attempt to divert conversation to another topic. For once, though, she remained silent.
Barda punched her shoulder with almost a tenth of the force she knew him capable of, "Why don't you just hurry along and ask your light-footed friend for a dance, I'm sure he'd like to have some honest company amongst the sea of lace and embroidery." There was a slight scoff in the last part of his sentence, even his past as a palace guard hadn't seemed to warm him towards the new style of courtier dresses that were being exhibited. Jasmine certainly preferred Sharn's, simple yet elegant style.
"It's a good thing your woman hates that sort of carry on, too." Murmured Lindal as she appeared by their sides. Lief's eyes were no doubt attracted to the domineering figures of Barda and Lindal, who seemed to be perfectly normal despite this mornings occurrences.
Jasmine turned pointedly in the other direction so they wouldn't have to suffer any awkward eye contact. She turned her shoulders just enough so she could see out of the corner of the eye, and watched as Lief bowed over one young lady's hand and lead her gracefully to the dance floor. The first dance was usually saved for the two friends, who often opened up the evening with a spectacular display of light-footedness and agility, attempting (and succeeding) at some of the most complicated of dances. And it was unwillingly noted by some in the room, that she wasn't with him, but Jasmine had no heart for such things at present.
Excusing herself from the others, she pretended to ignore the fact that Barda had been about to protest, but she easily darted away before questions could be raised. Her movements were towards the large, open doorway through which the crisp air of a perfect night was wafting in, cooling the necks of the dancers. She paused only to pick up a glass of water before continuing. In the courtyard, it was far less populated, and there was the comforting presence of trees that formed green walls along the winding pathways. Leaning lightly against a hedge, she let one hand stray to its branches and sought comfort.
"Did you notice? The King preferred young Annette to his usual partner. He even danced with her the next two dances as well!" The voice was not one she recognised, so therefore had to be a guest.
"Indeed I did, which makes me full of relief, Ronaldo! For I was getting worried that perhaps that favorite of his was to be our new Queen, certainly he had shown only eyes for her." Jasmine felt a happy leap in her chest, as much as she tried to suppress it, so others had noticed? But as the lady continued, she knew it wasn't to last, "But Annette, or someone of equal status will no doubt do him good. Good breeding, good education and excellent upbringing. Plus, she's as serene, obedient and beautiful as the King's own mother is!"
Jasmine ruefully thought that they hadn't met the side of Sharn who'd once thrown an evil adviser out the tower window without being noticed. Her intelligence, cunning and stealth were always there, although sometimes were not outwardly shown. Jasmine started to turn down the path, away from them, but her sharp ears unfortunately gathered the last sliver of conversation,
"Of course. I agree completely, the other would be a terrible candidate for the title, I hear she's quite wild. Apparently Cannot write, or read for that matter! I do commend her in her part for saving Deltora, but it's not what the young man needs, she'll only cause trouble!"
That was enough. She had had enough for one night. No, For an entire lifetime!
--
Her hurried steps took her past the library, and she happened a glance in, before double taking and noting the lone figure hunched over the books. Pushing back his long locks, the gruff man grumbled and sighed, slouching in his seat with his arms folded over his chest. Jasmine watched her father and despite her current state, a smile tugged at her lips, he had been studying for weeks in preparation to him leaving in four months time to continue the studies of dragons, particularly if they could reproduce without mates. That, and he claimed his days as a palace-dweller had been driven out of him long ago, whilst he was still able and fit, he desired to explore still. We are very similar in that restless manner, Jasmine thought, before deciding she should move on.
She would miss him though.
With new-found purpose, she decided she would take after her father. From her mind she cast all doubts and sadness that surged whenever she thought of what had passed. She couldn't bare to face Lief again, both because of how she'd treated him, but that she might threaten the sacrifice she'd made. They just weren't meant to be, and one day he'd understand that. Until then, Jasmine couldn't stay. Stalking into the room, Filli lifted his sleepy head from his pillow and murmured a greeting. He frowned when Jasmine starting to file through her drawers, and soon she had a rucksack packed with all the things she thought she would need. A flutter at the window saw Kree join them, watching his long-time friend with just as much confusion as Filli. Jasmine opened the window to let him in and he fluttered to the bed next to Filli. Bending down, she rested an arm near them and eyed them both with wonder,
"Wonderful, brave, selfless friends…" she whispered thickly, stroking their heads in turn. They nuzzled close, knowing that something was not quite right. "Kree. Filli. You two have become quite accustomed to palace life, I understand this. Which is why I cannot ask you to come with me, I am returning to the Forests, where I truly belong."
Kree flapped his wings indignantly and Filli sat up higher, squeaking. Quickly hushing them so that only one of them spoke at a time, Jasmine listened to them both in turn. Kree argued, With little one since birth. Will not leave now. Only happy, because little one here. Filli's was much along the same lines; Cannot abandon, little one need us as much as we need her. Family, always. With an emotional sigh of breath, she scooped them into her arms and held them close,
"No matter what happens, you two are always the one thing that remains the same."
Getting up, Jasmine shrugged on her cloak and lifted the hood over her head before shouldering the pack, and glancing at them with a strained smile. So this was it. Perhaps one day she might return, but her heart was yearning to return to the place she'd grown up. Or at least, half of her heart was, the other half was being pointedly ignored.
"Yay!" You may be saying, "It's over!" I apologise if you feel that way, I felt that way after it was written. Jumps through a variety of stages/emotions very quickly, but I wanted to spare making it any more long-winded. Just like these notes are starting to become! xD