4.

Cindy woke up to the high pitched chirps of birds and a light summer morning breeze. Dimly she was aware of opening the windows when they had gotten to Saratoga instead of using the air conditioning, as was Laura's preferred habit. Cindy had to admit that it felt wonderful during the night and morning, when the sun slanted into the windows accompanied by the mild breath of fresh air.

Cindy took a deep breath and exhaled, sitting up and rubbing at her eyes. She sat there for a minute, feeling the blood rush to her head. It was only five in the morning, and what little sunlight there was just a small glow on the horizon. Dawn wouldn't arrive for another hour yet. Nevertheless, Cindy clicked on the lights and swung her legs down to the ground, stretching. She padded over the cool hard wood floors in her bare feet, tugging at the hem of her tank top and retying the cord around her long pajama bottoms.

She had left her door open a crack during the night to let the air in her room circulate, and she pushed it open, wandering down the hall and the stairs. She stepped through the kitchen, ignoring the empty fridge and going to the front door to get the morning paper that always came for the housekeeper when she was in. She opened the heavy wooden door, grabbed the early edition, and set it on the kitchen table.

"Hey," she heard Jack greet her as he walked down the stairs in the jeans he had been wearing last night, pulling his gray shirt on over his head as he cleared the last step. Cindy's first reaction was to blush, so she looked down and redid her messy ponytail, trying to burn away memories of last night from her brain.

"Morning," Cindy said softly, going through the paper and fishing out sections she wanted to read. "Did you dry those jeans?"

"Yeah," he said. "Didn't keep you up did it?"

"No," Cindy said quickly, shaking her head. "No. I slept like a log."

"Yeah, you're probably the snoring kind," Jack said, pouring himself a glass of water as Cindy made a face.

"Hardly," Cindy informed him, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at him. Joking was a good sign. If they could joke everything was all right and no one was uncomfortable. Cindy grabbed onto that hope and clung to it.

Jack sat down at the table and started to put on his boots, giving Cindy a casual sideways glance as she sat down and read the rundown of the paper's early analysis for the Saratoga meet, which was scheduled to begin that coming weekend. Things felt more comfortable, and Cindy settled in her chair, folding her legs underneath her while stealing quick glances at Jack to confirm her decision that nothing felt awkward and all was normal.

She let her gaze last longer than she had intended, getting caught up before she realized she was stuck staring at him. He had showered before her, and his dark hair was still damp and towel dried. A few days away from a razor were showing on his jaw, and Cindy had to force down the feeling of wanting to touch the rough stubble that she found so appealing. When he looked up she jumped and looked away, thankful that the garage door was opening and Laura walked in with two plastic sacks from the local super market.

"Breakfast!" Laura called. "I couldn't take it anymore, Cin. Sorry, but I borrowed your car and bought breakfast foods."

Cindy gave Laura a dumbfounded look but nodded and watched her roommate spirit into the kitchen and begin to put away yogurt, cereal, milk, orange juice and breakfast bars.

"Who wants what?" Laura asked, pulling out her box of Grape Nuts and beginning to pour some into a bowl. "Everyone must eat. Jack, you've got a drive ahead of you. You're eating and don't give me that look. Eat."

Cindy stifled a laugh and got up to grab a yogurt and spoon. Soon everyone was weaving around in the small kitchen, grabbing utensils and pouring glasses of juice and water. Cindy bumped into Jack a few times, a blush rising every time she did it, jumping away before he could say anything. As much as she wanted to admit she was calm and cool, her nerves certainly weren't.

They ate quickly and headed for the car after Cindy showered and appeared in jeans, boots and a white cotton tank. Everyone was silent on the ride to the track. Cindy glanced one too many times in the rear view mirror as she drove to catch a glimpse of Jack, who was lounging in the backseat of the Audi. He caught her on her last attempt to get a view of his face, and when he asked her what she was looking at she nearly rear ended the person in front of her.

"Cin!" Laura exclaimed as the car jerked to a halt at the traffic light. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Cindy shook her head. "I thought the guy behind me was tailgating me, and that sort of makes me nervous. You know?"

Jack raised his eyebrows and looked behind them at the small elderly woman slowing a mini van behind them.

"Cin, I think you need to get your eyes checked," Jack responded, and Cindy winced. She didn't look once more in the rear view mirror after that, and arrived at Saratoga in record time.

"Well, that was eventful," Laura said, getting out of the car and pulling out her equipment. Cindy sighed and apologized.

"Don't worry about it, Cin," Jack said. "You keep things entertaining."

"Yeah," Cindy said, getting out of the car and pulling out her bag. Jack was already fiddling with the keys to the rig and she suddenly had a rushed feeling, as if she needed to do something drastic in the next few minutes before Jack left for the summer. She wouldn't see him unless she went down to Belmont, or if he came up on race days, and all together that equaled up to very little time with Jack. She was suddenly succumbing to her nerves as she watched Jack twirl the keys around his index finger.

"Thanks for the breakfast, Laura," Jack said as Laura walked up to the barn. Cindy stood motionless by her car, watching him and wondering what she should do. Then she wondered if she even needed to do anything. He was only her friend. She would see him again. It wasn't like she had to run up to him and profess her undying love, and even the thought of doing that made Cindy snort.

"No problem," Laura said. "Make sure to come up here often. I don't want this summer to be too dull."

Jack laughed and Cindy shot Laura a look. "What, am I not amusing enough for you?"

"You know what I mean," Laura gave Cindy a wink and in return Cindy sent her roommate a withering glare before Laura disappeared inside the barn.

"Hey," Jack said, touching Cindy's arm and making her spin around to look up at him. "Don't worry about last night, okay?"

"I'm not worried about anything," Cindy partially lied. She was more confused than anything else. "I had fun. Didn't you?"

"Well, yeah," Jack said, "but I don't think that's what I was getting at."

"Right," Cindy said softly, wondering if she was supposed to avoid it or tackle it head on. Somehow she didn't think talking about it in the middle of the Saratoga backside was the time. If rumors were flying now she didn't even know how intense they'd be after such a discussion.

"Well, I've got to hit the road," Jack said, hanging back. Cindy took a step forward, catching him before he moved out of her reach.

"Promise you'll come up every now and then to visit," she said. "You know, besides race days."

"Hell, Cin, I don't even know if I'll be up here for race days yet," he said, running a hand through his hair.

Cindy frowned and he immediately amended his statement. "I'll visit if you do," he said. "Besides race days."

"Well, I'm definitely coming home this summer," Cindy said. "You think I'd let myself get stuck up here for the next two months?"

"Then we have a deal," Jack said, and Cindy nodded.

"Deal," she smiled, shaking on it. "So I guess I'll see you when I see you."

"Yeah," he said, both not aware that they were still holding hands. "Something really abstract like that."

"Okay," Cindy said quietly, watching herself be drawn up to him. Before she knew what had happened she was hugging him goodbye, her arms around his torso and her nose pressing against his chest. She felt his arms around her back, the keys resting against her spine as she felt him breathe above her. She didn't know how this had happened, but she could already feel the eyes on them.

Suddenly he let her go and told her goodbye. She stumbled back and smiled at him as he turned around and headed off to the truck, swinging the keys in his hand in agitation. As soon as the rig roared to life and rumbled out of the gates of Saratoga, Cindy turned around at the sound of another voice.

"Ready to get to work?"

She saw David Hernon leaning against the side of the barn, watching her with interest. Cindy hesitated for a minute, wondering how long he had been there, before putting on a smile and nodding.

"I'm always ready," she replied.

"Good," David said. "I've got Hansea up first."

Cindy rolled her shoulder out of habit, sticking her tongue between her teeth as she felt Sunday Punch tug at the reins experimentally, tossing his head as he met Cindy's resistance. The dappled gray colt took a quick step to the side and danced in place, rolling his dark eyes.

"We're going to do a mile gallop," David was instructing her by the rail. "Keep alert if you're going to take him to the rail. I was told that's where his grove his, and he's liable to take you on a trip if you slack."

"I don't slack," Cindy sweetly informed David, reining in Sunday as the colt started to dance around in a circle. The gray colt came to a quick halt, lifting his head to scan the track and take a deep breath.

"So Lucas told me," David said. "But since I'm more of a see it to believe it sort of guy, prove it."

Cindy frowned at him and shrugged. "Fine. I'll take him around the inside. Anything else?"

"Nope," David said, crossing his arms over his chest and smiling at her, the hot morning sun glinting off his dark blond hair. "Let's see how this goes."

Cindy nodded and took the colt out to the track, picking up speed immediately as Sunday caught on and plowed forward at Cindy's command. The gray leapt into the turn, cantering with restrained effort into the backstretch as Cindy worked him up the training track. Sunday snorted and arched his neck against Cindy's firm hold, tossing back his salt and pepper mane.

"Whoa," Cindy said calmly, letting the colt work into a gallop and angling him in. Already she could feel the colt push powerfully, kicking hard into his workout. Cindy hovered over his withers, keeping up with the colt as he began to move faster down the rail, huffing excitedly with each stride.

Cindy grinned into the colt's mane, letting the rough strands slap at her lips and face while they wound around the track easily, the colt's hooves beating at the ground steadily while practically crowding the rail. Cindy began to urge the colt, keeping him upbeat enough to plow past the last marker in almost a breezing gallop.

Getting the colt to stop was another matter entirely. Cindy spent most of the clubhouse turn getting the colt to a manageable speed. By the time they were trotting back to the gap they were both sweating. Sunday's gray coat was covered in a thin film of lather and Cindy was tossing a clump of damp hair out of her eyes.

"That good enough for you?" Cindy asked haughtily, stopping Sunday at the gap and jumping off, turning to lead the colt off of the track and into the waiting hands of a groom.

David arched an eyebrow and shrugged. "I suppose you'll do, Ms. McLean."

Cindy snorted. "Right. I was sent here, David. I don't think you have a choice over whether or not you can keep me."

"True," David said, nodding and leaning against the rail to watch the other horses work. "I guess I have no choice other than to keep you."

"Oh, don't sound so broken up," Cindy said, starting to feel weird about the conversation. She couldn't honestly tell if he was joking with her or being serious. She stopped and stood close to him, trying to get an idea of who this man was that Jack hated so much. Just looking at him she couldn't come up with anything conclusive.

"What are you looking at?" David asked, smiling at her.

"Are you being serious?" Cindy asked, deciding to put all her cards out for him to see. "Because I'm here now and I have to know that we're going to work well together."

David raised an eyebrow and considered her for a minute, moving away from the rail to look down at her. Finally, he nodded. "I'm kidding, really. I work well with everyone, and you're no exception. I'm actually impressed with your riding."

Cindy frowned, not exactly expecting that.

"In fact," he laughed. "Why wouldn't I be? You won the Distaff with Bosta last year, and the Oaks with Chasing Rubies. You're an accomplished jockey for a woman."

"For a woman?" Cindy asked, trying to find some fault with him. If Jack had her reservations, she should at least find some also.

"For any young jockey starting out," David corrected himself, then shook his head with a smile. "And, honestly, for a woman. There aren't many women in this sport."

"No kidding," Cindy said, crossing her arms.

"Okay," David said. "I have a feeling I said something wrong, and I apologize for whatever it was. Let's just start out on the right foot, okay? What did I say?"

Cindy frowned, feeling a little odd. "Nothing," she said, shaking her head.

"You're not going to be easy to work with, huh?" he asked, sending her a lopsided grin.

"I'm easy to work with," Cindy defended. "I've had my feuds, but I'm easy to work with."

"I'll take your word for it," David said. "It will be good working with you."

"Likewise," Cindy said, pulling off her helmet and shaking out her hair. David had turned back to the track and she easily turned her back, walking up to the backside. She glanced across the road beyond the gate and saw Saratoga sitting old and grand like it always had. She tucked her helmet under her arm and turned away, trying to feel as if she was missing something.

"How do you like the new boss?" Laura asked, drizzling some more olive oil over the pasta that sat in the colander in the sink. Cindy was chopping up some last minute garlic, wiping her hands on the damp dishtowel to get rid of the smell seeping into her finger tips.

"Not bad," Cindy said, announcing the verdict. "Not really all that bad at all. I don't know what he thinks of me, though."

"What do you mean?" Laura asked, checking on the chicken in the oven before taking Cindy's chopped garlic and putting the cloves to use.

"I mean," Cindy sighed. "He was just weird for a little while. Like he was testing me. And you know what's really weird? He was watching me and Jack, I think. Just before he left."

"Odd," Laura nodded. "But what about you and Jack?"

"You're just dying for gossip," Cindy pointed at her.

"Of course," Laura laughed. "I've got to know before the rest of the track does. Otherwise I'd be pitifully left out."

"I'll keep you up to date," Cindy promised. "But nothing happened that was gossip worthy. I promise. How did your day go?"

"Absolutely perfect," Laura said. "Tactics loves the surface and on top of that I completely forgot that Lewis is sending his Aqueduct assistant up to Saratoga tomorrow."

"Brian?" Cindy asked with a sly look.

"Yes, Brian," Laura grinned. "He's so adorable."

Cindy laughed and shook her head at her roommate as Laura pulled the chicken out of the oven.

"And now we eat," she announced, setting the baking sheet on the stove top.

Cindy sat outside in the lawn chair later that night, running her fingers over the cordless phone and staring at the pool. The stars were sitting bright in the sky and the water at the surface of the pool rippled as the fountain bubbled at the far end, the ferns quivering against the moving water.

Sighing, Cindy put the phone down and leaned back, throwing an arm over her head. She couldn't sleep because of the heat, and she couldn't stay still. Overall, she was restless in the dead quiet of the night, missing the sounds of Brooklyn underneath her window. But it was more than that. Angrily, she picked up the phone and went inside, slamming it down in its cradle and collapsing on the sofa.

Part of her wanted Jack to call, and she was annoyed that he hadn't. She took a look at her watch and frowned. It was past midnight, but she didn't care. She wanted him to call, and since she knew he wasn't going to she was furious at herself.

What was she thinking? Hugging him in the middle of the track backside like she was just asking for more rumors wasn't the smartest thing in the world. David had been watching them, and coming to conclusions. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to forget about it and wipe her mind clean. Finally she sat up and turned on the television, trying not to think about it.

Then it dawned on her. She had a crush.

"No, I don't," she argued with herself aloud. "I don't have a crush because that would be insane."

Nevertheless, at the moment she said the words she found herself silencing and she felt like throwing something.

"God damn it," Cindy groaned, falling back on the couch and staring out at the back porch. She could remember everything perfectly that had happened out there and just that morning. Cindy rested her hands on her forehead, trying to talk herself out of it. Jack was everything wonderful except these feelings she had were totally unacceptable. She wouldn't allow them. She could forbid herself from thinking about them, and from feeling them.

It was no use. Cindy turned off the television. She had a crush, and there was nothing she could do about it.