Conflicted

Yes, I know. I'm a bad author for not updating in a while. But turning 18 has it's perks here in the U.K :) Anywho, here is the new chapter!

Bella POV

It had now been a week since Gwen's arrival and still, Edward had not warmed to the twins. I couldn't help but feel sorry for them; they'd tried their hardest to get him to get over his first impressions of them, but he stuck to it like glue.

Nothing they could say or do would change his opinion of them. They would always be his adversaries in his eyes; they were contenders for my happiness although I knew that there was no contest. Edward would always win in my eyes, and sadly he was just too stubborn to understand that.

I woke up on the Thursday morning to find myself looking into a pair of coal black eyes. Any normal human being would've been terrified; I, however, wasn't afraid at all, I just knew that Edward could hold off no longer when it came to 'that time of the fortnight'.

"Good morning." I greeted him with a chaste peck on the lips.

"Careful." He warned me as I watched him slowly try and compose himself. I must've caught Edward off guard when I kissed him. This was a tricky time for him to be around me, and I only made it worse by smelling so appealing. "Now stay still." He now smiled as he handled his urges.

I held my breath and tried to steady my racing heartbeat as his cold lips pressed against mine for a more meaningful good morning kiss. Fire started to flow through my veins and I could feel my restraint quickly ebbing away, before I knew what I was doing I had then thrown myself into it.

I saw Edward's eyes snap open and then widen as he pushed my shoulders gently away before he too lost his self control.

"Bella, please." He said as breathed heavily. Frustrated, I rolled my eyes and inwardly cursed myself for being human. "You'll be the death of me."

"I'm sorry, but I can't help the way I am with you." I pouted as I hugged the duvet to my knees.

He pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and stroked my cheek.

"You know how dangerous it is for you just by looking at my eyes." He smiled sombrely as he hugged me to his chest slowly.

"I know." I smiled sadly as I pressed a cheek against his cold skin, "Are you leaving tonight or tomorrow?"

"Tonight." He sighed as he dropped a kiss on the top of my forehead "And I will miss you every second I'm away," he lifted my chin up so I was looking at him and I could tell he was in serious mode. "But this is for your safety Bella."

"I'm going to miss you too," I replied taking his hands in my own. "But if I wasn't still human then we wouldn't have this problem." I hinted although I knew it was a lost cause.

"Not this again Bella."

"It will be "this again" until I get my way."

"I'm in no mood to argue." He responded tiredly as he rubbed a palm roughly against his face.

"Good, because I know how moody you get when you need to feed." I teased trying to lighten his mood.

"I'm better than when you're on your period." He teased back. I felt my cheeks start to flush and he started to laugh which meant he was back in a good mood.

"I think I need to be getting ready for school." I mumbled as I escaped my room before my face could flush even darker.

Although I was deeply embarrassed, I could feel that I was going to have a good day today.

--

It was the evening and I'd said my goodbyes to Edward at the Cullen mansion earlier on.

I was settling into bed and looked longingly over at my open window, hoping that any second now he'd appear though the curtains and flash me with a dazzling smile.

The clock ticked a couple of seconds by and still no sign of him...It was silly of me to hope really, but I could dream...

"Psst!"

I sat bolt upright and looked towards my open window now angry at myself for leaving it open.

"Bella? You in there?"

I got out of bed and padded over to the window, I looked out to find that there was nothing. I shook my head and came to the conclusion that I'd been hearing voices again; I really needed to stop that habit when Edward wasn't around.

When I turned back to the bed I saw a figure lying casually across it fiddling with a few loose strands.

"You know it's not safe to leave the window wide open at night..."

I nodded speechless and I knew there was no hope of me screaming. I was going to die and I couldn't even defend myself.

"...you never know who could come in."

I spotted another figure sitting in the rocking chair that Edward liked to occupy and I knew for sure that I was going to die, although I wondered who an earth my attackers could be...

"Stop playing around Fin." The figure in the chair laughed. "Can't you see she's scared stiff?"

I breathed out heavily and my knees had stopped knocking together.

It was only Fin and Gwen.

"Oh, I'm sorry Bella." Fin apologised as he got up and put his arms around me. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just knew how lonely you might feel with Edward leaving you, so Gwen and I decided to keep you company till he comes back."

My vocal chords suddenly started to work as I hugged him back. "Thanks you two."

"It was his idea, not mine." Gwen smiled as she got in on the hug. "I knew that Edward would go ballistic as soon as he looked into Fin's mind on Monday, so I decided to come as back up."

"Why does Fin need back up?" I asked as they both pulled away from me.

"Well if Fin came alone, Edward would assume he wanted to keep you company in a romantic sense. Whereas if I was here I wouldn't really be a romantic situation now, would it?" Gwen explained as she returned to the rocking chair. Fin sat with me on the bed as he looked around committing the four corners of my room to memory.

"That's true." I replied as I looked helplessly at the window. I knew he wouldn't be back tonight but I missed him so much I half believed he would return. "I just wish he'd put this all behind him, I've tried so many times to get him to understand that you won't interfere with the whole vampire thing, but he just won't listen."

"I guess first impressions last a lifetime with Edward then." Fin commented as he saw Gwen's face contort into guilt.

I had a feeling he'd said it to distract both Gwen and I from talking about my previous comment.

"They must do." I replied airily, "but I've never seen him hold a grudge for no reason."

The room went silent and Gwen was looking at her hair whilst Fin decided to look at my walls for the second time.

"I mean, especially with your trait Fin, he should instantly like you, unless he's seen something..."

Still Fin kept glancing at my walls.

"Or Alice has..."

"Alright!" Gwen exclaimed. "Enough with the interrogation."

I smiled with triumph as Fin shot his twin a dirty look. It looked like he hadn't wanted to bring this up till later.

"What do you know?" I asked excitedly.

"Edward's been delving into our heads whilst we've been sitting together at lunch." Gwen explained quickly as if getting it out would unburden her. "Fin's able to think of other things but my mind's been on the same thing since I've met you."

"Which is?"

"The Cullen's have their rules regarding your change..." she paused to let the idea sink in, but I already knew what she was going to say. Edward had warned me beforehand what they were thinking. "...but we don't."

"You'd do that?" I breathed in, "for me?"

"Yes." Fin admitted in a low voice.

My blood pumped rapidly around my body and even I could hear my heartbeat.

Then it all fell into place.

Fin had waited till Edward needed to feed before approaching me about the subject and Gwen had come along just in case Edward caught wind of it, and decided to return home and stop them.

"Has Alice seen this?" I asked shakily as I knew that my life could change for the better right here and now.

"Yes she did." Gwen replied, "She saw it the night I came home."

"You're going to be the one to do it aren't you? I mean, if I say yes"

"Yes it will be."

"That's why Edward disliked you as soon as he met you."

"He saw it in my mind; it was doomed from the beginning."

"How comes he didn't see you planning this yesterday?"

"Fin told me this evening so I couldn't blow the plan. Edward never found out because Fin didn't think about it at lunch yesterday."

"This is unbelievable" I exclaimed as my head started to feel fuzzy. "So if I asked you to change me right this second, you would?"

"Yes, Bella."

"This is all so sudden."

"Its how it's got to be if you want to change right now." Fin told me urgently. "You can be one of us now, or wait until Edward feels like changing you. At least with us you know we're willing to do it when you want to. With him you might be waiting until you're middle-aged."

"I need more time to consider it."

"Well we're here for when you decide." He informed me. "Just get some sleep for now, I'll watch over you."

"As I'm not needed tonight I'm going to go." Gwen said as she made for the window. "I'll see you later Bella, sleep well."

"See you." I replied as I got under the duvet. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Just in case." I winked as she went out the window.

Fin sat next to me and smiled reassuringly.

"There's no pressure to change. We just want you to know that there are other options."

"I know you do." I smiled back. "But for now I just need to sort this out in my...h-h-head." I yawned.

"If you need to talk I'm here." He said soothingly as he brushed a strand of hair from my eyes.

"Goodnight Fin." I replied rolling onto my side.

"Goodnight Bella."

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Oh Breaking Dawn tonight for you lot! I have to wait till Monday :( so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do NOT tell me anything about it until you know it is safe.

Happy reading to you all (and you're all uber lucky and i'm so jealous right now)