10.
The morning was quiet. A dim light was rising over the horizon, but Cindy didn't notice it. Sunday Punch shifted and sighed under her as they waited for his running mate to enter the training gate willingly. Cindy hardly felt the movement that on any other day would have been clear as crystal to her.
The hyper active colt they were forcing into the gate balked again and reared, thrashing so violently that the rider lost his balance and wound up clinging to the colt's neck. Cindy only backed Sunday away from the scene and walked him around to keep his mind off the commotion the other young horse was providing in spades.
Sunday danced, swinging his hindquarters easily to his own rhythm as Cindy turned him in circles, watching the gate out of the corner of her eye. David wasn't there. She hadn't really seen David in some time, and that didn't help how confused she was. He would tell her the plans for the day and then wander off, cool and disinterested in the confused stare that Cindy sent him whenever she could.
What was strange to her was that she had never been angry about the whole thing. David didn't mean enough to her to make her angry. She had thought that at best they could be friends, but apparently she had said or done something that was other than friendly. What she had done, she didn't know. He had kissed her and told her things she had never expected to hear; but she wasn't mad.
Now, four days removed from the incident that she had never told anyone about, Sunday Punch was in serious training for the King's Bishop. Jack and Lucas would be in Saratoga tomorrow. Several new horses had shipped up for the upcoming weekend. Cindy, when she should have been stressed and easily angered, found herself quiet along with the morning.
"You think they're ever going to get that horse in the gate?" Laura asked from the back of Fresh Tactics. The chestnut colt was also in line for gate work, and the two colts milling next to each other, accustomed to the other's presence.
"Yeah," Cindy said, sighing. "It just takes about two billion years. Every time we've gate trained, that horse has been there. Let me tell you, Sunday has learned to stand like a rock just because of that horse."
Laura chuckled and glanced over her shoulder. Cindy looked along with her and found David walking up the track next to Josie, who was cooling off Angelica after a breeze. Instantly Cindy frowned and looked away, refusing to acknowledge the man that approached them.
"Guys, just throw the towel on his head and get it over with," David called to the men struggling with the young colt.
Cindy rolled her eyes. Lately she had succeeded in finding fault with everything David said, and she had wound up getting yelled at for completely ignoring him during works. She honestly couldn't help how she was acting. Part of her was wondering if she was unconsciously ignoring him. It almost felt like her body went on autopilot around him. She just shut down.
The men at the gate did as told and soon the irate colt was stuck in the gate. Sunday was put into action and soon Cindy found herself in the starting gate right next to the rearing colt.
"Jesus Christ!" Cindy groaned, patting Sunday's neck as the other colt let out a strangled scream and began to struggle so angrily that he lost his footing and went down in the gate, crashing against the metal sides of the chute.
At that, Sunday spooked and reared, his own hooves scraping at the metal doors. Cindy calmly brought him down to all fours and the gate was opened to let the colt out. Sunday bolted, lunging several strides before Cindy was able to haul him down to a halt and turn him, looking at the mess in the starting gate.
The other colt had twisted himself in the chute, and men were screaming around him. Dimly, Cindy realized that the jockey was stuck underneath the colt and was yelling loudly for no one to touch him. Sunday was trembling, pricking his ears at the scene. Cindy could see ambulances already arriving.
Cindy urged Sunday into a trot and passed the gate, moving out of range to Laura and Josie, who sat stunned on the backs of their mounts.
"Oh, my God," Cindy muttered, looking at the crushed rider. Both human and horse were laying in the dirt. The colt was letting out strangled cries, while the man underneath him kept ordering people to not touch him. Then, strangely, both were silent.
"You guys, let's get off the track," Josie suggested, turning Angelica. "I don't want to watch this."
Laura agreed and turned Fresh Tactics, but Cindy was still sitting quietly on Sunday. She could see David among the moving paramedics and vets. He was watching the proceedings carefully until he looked up and saw her staring back at him. Sunday suddenly shivered and spooked, dancing around in a circle as Cindy calmed him. When she looked back she couldn't find David.
"Damn it," Cindy muttered, shaking her head.
Suddenly the other colt seemed to wake up again and screamed bloody murder, thrashing at the gate desperately and causing the workers to scatter out of the range of his flailing hooves. Sunday spooked again, and Cindy relented, turning the colt and taking off for the gap.
Later that afternoon, Cindy walked back from the track. She was still damp from the showers and eager to dump her bag of equipment back in the trunk of her car. The weight of the duffel bag banging against her knee seemed greater in the heat, and all Cindy wanted to do was take a vacation from Saratoga for a while.
Wincing, Cindy stopped by her car and hauled the bag into her trunk, stumbling a little on tired feet.
"Be careful, Cin." She heard David's voice drifting out of the stable and she frowned, straightening up as she slammed the trunk shut.
"I'm fine, David," Cindy said back as she stared at him over the roof of her car. She really didn't know what to say to him, so she let her keys jangle against her hand as she unlocked the Audi's driver side door and opened it up.
"Hey, look," he stopped her, and she glanced up at him from over the car door.
"What?" she asked, realizing she sounded bitchy and not caring about it.
"I don't want things to be awkward," David said. "But I'm not taking anything back that I said."
"Great," Cindy laughed shortly. "That would mean something to me if I even understood what you were talking about in the first place."
"You really are clueless," David said, and at that Cindy threw up her hands.
"David," Cindy cut across what he was going to say. "No. I'm not clueless. If you thought I was, I don't know, flirting with you, then you're mistaken. Okay? I didn't mean to treat you like anyone else."
"Jack," he filled in for her. "I know you have some weird thing for Jack, Cin, but.."
"But what?" Cindy glared at him. "As far as I'm concerned you don't know Jack from shit."
At that, she quickly got into the car, slammed the door, and made a hasty retreat. She was home before she had even cleared her head, and stormed into the house, slamming the front door after her.
"Hey," Josie said, jumping as Cindy flew through the kitchen.
"What?" Cindy asked irritably, getting a startled look from Josie.
"God, Cin," Josie frowned. "What got into you?"
"Nothing," Cindy said, sighing. "Nothing. Just, I think I might strangle David."
"David?" Josie asked. "Simm's assistant trainer? Why?"
Cindy stopped and placed her hands flat on the kitchen counter, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. When she finally looked up she knew where she had to go to feel better, and she met Josie's questioning eyes full force.
"You want to get out for a while?"
"Sure," Josie shrugged. "Where to?"
"McMahon."
The drive to McMahon Thoroughbreds was full of talking, and, slowly, Cindy began to feel less chaotic in the presence of her more laid back cousin. Josie had her laughing and conversing within the first five minutes, and as far as Cindy was concerned David was the last thing to worry about.
"You know, you could have said that you wanted to see Heavenly Choir instead of the name of this place," Josie said as they drove down the fence line of McMahon. "You had me really confused at first."
"I thought you knew that Heavenly Choir had been sent to McMahon," Cindy said, turning into the drive of the modest Thoroughbred breeding farm.
"I don't know everything that goes on with Whitebrook," Josie corrected her. "I knew that she was sold at auction, but I never asked where. Why the sudden rush to see her, though?"
"It's just been a long day," Cindy replied, and Josie nodded.
"You mind me asking why?" Josie asked, and Cindy gave her a long warning glance. Josie had never been one to pry into people's lives, and Cindy had always loved that about her. Josie listened when Cindy needed someone to just listen and only offered advice if asked for it. She was the closest thing to a therapist Cindy would ever come to.
"By that look I think you mean yes," Josie laughed, looking out the windshield as they parked in front of one of the many long barns.
"Well," Cindy sighed, knowing she had to let off some steam. She hesitated because she was still too confused to put it all into words.
"Let's just go see Heavenly Choir," Josie said, getting out of the car. "Think about it a little. I don't need to know."
Cindy smiled a little and got out after her, walking into the shade of the nearest stable. The barn of broodmares was quiet and cool. Fans were rotating back and forth in the aisle and over the stalls, keeping the air circulating to make each mare comfortable. Josie stopped in the aisle and looked back at Cindy, who was busy surveying the stable.
"Looks nice and homey," Josie grinned at Cindy as a tall man walked out of the nearby office to greet them. Cindy blinked quickly, nearly mistaking him for David as the light from the windows flashed on his dark blond hair.
"May I help you?" he asked, strolling up to them like he expected unannounced visitors every day.
"Yes," Josie jumped in before Cindy could say anything. I'm Josie Taylor, and this is Cindy McLean. We were interested in seeing Heavenly Choir."
"Whitebrook, am I right?" he said, a smile spreading over his mouth. "Already coming to check up on her?"
"Something like that," Cindy said, letting herself smile at him.
"Sure, sure," he nodded. "She just arrived last week," he added as they followed him down the aisle. "They had to wait until her little one was weaned."
"She foaled again?" Cindy asked Josie quickly, surprised that she had been so out of the loop. Usually she was kept up to date on what was happening, and that she hadn't known about this new foal made her feel strange and more distant from Whitebrook than before. Josie simply nodded.
"A March to Glory filly," Josie said, giving Cindy a curious look. "Ashleigh's decided to call her March to Heaven."
Cindy nearly stumbled over her own feet as she walked, surprised that no one would tell her that a full sister to Joy had been born. Josie quickly reached out and steadied Cindy, keeping her walking. At the touch of her cousin, Cindy pulled away, frowning deeply.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" she asked, catching Josie's eyes with her own.
Josie shrugged and said softly, "I thought you'd be upset about it. And Ashleigh...well, you know how things have been."
"I know," Cindy said, her trademark scowl set deep on her mouth. "It would have been nice to know, Jo."
"Yeah," Josie nodded. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have."
Cindy only sighed and nodded. "Yeah, it's okay. She's not mine anyway. Just because she's a full sister to Joy doesn't mean she's Joy."
"No," Josie said, stopping as the breeding manager stopped outside the second to last stall, turning and motioning to the gray mare within.
"There she is," he said, and Cindy stared at the small gray, letting a smile replace her frown.
"You two can stay as long as you like. My name is Bill Packard. If you need anything I'll be in my office down the row there."
"Thanks," Josie and Cindy said at the same time, both girls walking up to the mare as Mr. Packard returned down the aisle.
"It's so strange to see her here instead of at Whitebrook," Josie chuckled as the mare walked up to the stall door and investigated her visitors.
"That's what I was thinking," Cindy nodded, rubbing the mare's forehead and looking in on her stall. She had no complaints with how McMahon ran their farm, and it looked like Heavenly Choir was well provided for.
Cindy ran her hand down the nearly white mare's nose and sighed, leaning against the stall door. Everything felt more laid back, and as she stroked the mare's white neck she could have been back at Whitebrook, watching this same mare give birth to her filly.
"You want to talk, Cin?" Josie said, and Cindy laughed. It was just like her cousin to catch her off guard, when everything was calm and pleasant.
Josie looked at her expectantly and Cindy nodded, rubbing her fingers into the mare's white and gray mane.
"I don't really know where to start, though," Cindy warned her cousin, who only smiled.
"The beginning is always a great place," she suggested.
"Okay," Cindy nodded. "The beginning it is."
By the time they had left McMahon and were halfway home, Cindy had Josie stupefied. Cindy had been talking the entire time, and was on her way to talking more before her cousin broke in with raised hands.
"Okay, wait," Josie said. "You've got me confused. You met Jack about three years ago, and he's sort of your best friend and sort of one of your bosses. You kind of accidentally broke him and his now ex-girlfriend up, and while you wouldn't admit it then, you do admit now that you have a crush on him. Right?"
"Sort of," Cindy frowned, admitting that her explanation of things hadn't been too concrete.
"Okay," Josie breathed. "And now that you like Jack in a more-than-a-best-friend way, you're in Saratoga with David, and Jack is at Belmont."
"Right," Cindy frowned, stopping at a traffic light. "I mean, I think I like him. This has been going on for so long, I'm just really confused at this point."
"Yeah, it sounds like it," Josie laughed. "Now, where does David come in?"
"He kissed me," Cindy said simply. "Like, four days ago. I pushed him away and he told me that I was essentially treating him like Jack, which really confused me, and ever since then things have been really odd."
"I can imagine," Josie arched an eyebrow. "What do you think he means by you treating him like Jack?"
"I don't know," Cindy said, starting forward again when the light turned green. "It's not like that justifies him thinking it was okay to kiss me."
"Wait," Josie said, turning all the way to Cindy and leaning forward. "Were you flirting, Cin? Because you like to flirt."
"I do not like to flirt," Cindy cried, hitting Josie lightly on the shoulder.
"Right," Josie said, laughing. "I think you do it without knowing it."
"Honestly," Cindy groaned. "I didn't flirt with David."
"Well, he thinks you were," Josie said, leaning back in her seat as they pulled onto their street.
"Well I didn't intend to," Cindy said, sighing.
"There you go," Josie pointed out.
"You are no help," Cindy said, rolling her eyes and pulling into the driveway.
"Cindy McLean," Josie announced as she got out of the car. "Queen of mixed signals."
"Shut up!" Cindy demanded, running with Josie back to the house.
Later that evening, Cindy sat in a booth across from Josie in a small bar far from the track scene. The place was dark and smoky enough for the smell to cling to Cindy's clothes, but that went unnoticed. The two girls were too engrossed in their stories, laughing over what they had missed in each other's lives since Cindy had moved to New York. She knew that so much had changed, and listening to Josie made her happy she was gone and homesick all at once.
"And so I put Ethan up on Traitor," Josie said about her boyfriend. "And I figured everything would be okay because Traitor is gelded and had been off the racing circuit for like, two years..."
Cindy was already smiling, knowing that Ethan wasn't a rider. He was a journalist from Baltimore, and only met Josie on accident when he had been dragged to Pimilco by his horse crazy sister during the Preakness.
"Oh, don't tell me," Cindy laughed, holding up her hands.
"No, no," Josie grinned. "It's a good story. Traitor took off with him down that narrow trail off the maintenance road. He wound up going over a couple logs and managed to stay on. I had to go after him and it just took forever to find him because he had gone off the trail and wound up in the middle of the woods..."
"Oh my God," Cindy laughed. "Were they okay?"
"Yeah," Josie said, flipping her hand nonchalantly as she picked up her glass of beer. "The best thing about it is that now Traitor is his favorite horse and I'm giving him lessons."
"You're kidding," Cindy said.
"Nope," Josie said, shaking her head. "And he's getting pretty good. He and Traitor are becoming a nice team. I've started thinking that Ash might even sell him to Ethan."
"Oh, yeah," Cindy rolled her eyes. "Just Whitebrook's infamous gelding."
"Gelding being the point," Josie said. "And Traitor isn't really the type to put out with the yearlings or use as a pace horse. He won't stand for it."
Cindy smiled, remembering the laid back gelding race only a year ago. The first son of Precocious and Mr. Wonderful hadn't been an easy candidate to train on the track, and after several unsuccessful attempts at getting him to focus, gelding him had worked like a charm. While never succeeding to win a grade I race, Traitor had been dominating in the lower stakes races and finally retired with several grade II and III events under his belt.
"Hey girls," Laura called, walking up with new drinks and setting them down on the table as she scooted in beside Josie. Ryan was behind her on his cell, directing someone to the bar.
"Yeah," Ryan said, plopping down next to Cindy. "No, no. Caroline St. It's right off of Broadway. Hell, Jack, you've freaking been here before..."
Cindy grinned. If there was one thing Jack was not adept with it was directions.
"Okay," Ryan finally said. "See you in a minute."
"I'm so excited that I get to meet Jack," Josie grinned, kicking Cindy under the table. Cindy responded by rolling her eyes and kicking back.
"What are we? Thirteen?" Cindy joked.
"You participated," Josie smiled, turning around when two figures appeared by the table.
"It's just tourist madness out there," Jack introduced himself with a characteristic smile, making Cindy grin. "Sorry I'm late."
"That and your affinity for getting lost," Ryan said, pulling up two chairs. "Sit."
Cindy darted her eyes to the woman sitting down next to Jack, a little surprised to see Sarah McCormick looking back at her quietly.
"Hi, Cindy," Sarah smiled.
"Hey, Sarah," Cindy said, recovering quickly. "Did you guys drive up together?"
"Yeah," Sarah laughed. "I needed a ride after my car broke down in New York. Jack gave me a lift, sweet man that he is."
"He is that," Cindy nodded, turning to introduce Josie to Jack. The two hit it off immediately, and Cindy scooted out of the booth to let them get acquainted, using the fact that she needed to get the next pitcher as an excuse.
While she was waiting at the bar she stared vacantly up at the television. Sportscenter was on, and before Cindy could grumble to herself about how Sportscenter was on wherever she went, the image of Adriatic pounding home in the Pacific Classic caught her attention. She was so engrossed in the muted television that she jumped when the bartender told her the price of the beer. Cindy thrust the money at him and turned with the pitcher, heading back to the table.
When she slid the heavy pitcher across the hard wood, everyone was already deep into conversation about the upcoming stakes races that weekend. Cindy collapsed in the booth next to Jack and smiled at him, watching as he started pouring beer. She could see Josie across from her, grinning elfishly. Instead of giving her cousin a sweet smile back, she sent her a warning look, making Josie's grin spread even further.
"What?" Jack asked Cindy through the conversation being batted around the table.
"Nothing," Cindy said quickly, covering up with a smile and turning to the talk about the Travers.
"Fifty Shy had a horrible work the other day," Sarah was saying. "He practically blistered the five furlongs. I'd be surprised if he lifts a hoof tomorrow."
Cindy raised an eyebrow, looking over the table at Laura, who shrugged. Fifty Shy was Cindy's mount in the race, and she would have been more taken aback had she ridden the colt in that work. Since she hadn't, Cindy had to acknowledge that the colt's chances in the race had decreased.
"Baffert's pushing it with him, I agree," was all Laura said, looking over the table at Cindy.
"It wasn't all Baffert," Cindy said. "Or so I heard. Fifty Shy is just an excitable animal."
Jack snorted softly and nudged Cindy. "He should have had you on him that day. Cindy, the connoisseur of excitable animals."
"Thanks, Jack," Cindy laughed, rolling her eyes.
"No prob, Cin."
"Oh!" Laura said, setting down her beer and targeting Cindy. "Did you hear about Murmullo?"
"Nope," Cindy shook her head, remembering the colt that had gone down in the gate, bringing his rider along with him. Cindy hadn't been much in the loop since her problems with David, and had kept mostly to herself on the track, avoiding the gossip since she feared much of it would be about herself.
"He died this morning," Laura said. "He apparently knocked his head pretty hard after we left, and after they got him out from under the gate he was having trouble walking and after a few hours he couldn't stand. He was put down."
"Murmullo?" Jack asked. "That's one of Lucas' colts. What happened?"
"Gate training," Cindy said, sighing. "Murmullo has been trouble in the gate for weeks, and David got impatient, I guess. Murmullo freaked out and fell in the stall."
"His rider will be alright," Laura added. "He was in pretty bad shape, but they've got him stable at Memorial."
Cindy nodded, glancing over at Jack, whose look said it all.
"God," Jack sighed, leaning back. He looked like he obviously didn't want to deal with the death of a horse just before a major race weekend. Whenever a horse died on the track it was big news, and if fault could be found with the trainer a media spree could develop. Cindy didn't want to admit it, but David was at fault for pushing the colt.
"That is fucking typical," Jack seemed to mutter to himself, and Cindy frowned.
"Jack," she said softly, but he shook his head.
"Never mind," he said, drinking. "I'll get all the details from him tomorrow."
"It was an accident," Cindy tried, knowing that it wasn't entirely true.
"Like hell, Cin," Jack said, letting out a short laugh.
Cindy frowned at him, about to say something else until he shook his head.
"Like hell."