12

An hour later, Cindy's sandals were tossed carelessly underneath the coffee table and her long blond hair had been tugged unceremoniously into a messy ponytail that sagged a bit at the nape of her neck. She was working on her third complimentary bottle of vodka, masked with a carton of orange juice, and as far as she was concerned the events of an hour ago hadn't crossed her scopes as awkward.

Most of the past hour had involved trying to forget, but even with the dulling effect of the vodka Cindy could still remember why she was up in Jack's hotel room to begin with. David had lied, and, although she preferred to not know the specifics, Cindy couldn't forget that.

"Okay," Cindy said, summoning up her courage. "Tell me what he said. The whole thing."

Jack arched an eyebrow at her. This wasn't the first time she had asked him that.

"No," Cindy suddenly changed her mind. "Never mind. I don't think I want to know."

"Cindy," Jack said, putting his glass of whisky down on the table. "You've been going at this for a while now. Do you want to know or not?"

Cindy sighed and shrugged. "No, I don't really want to know. I don't think so, anyway."

"Yeah, I'll give you another five minutes to change your mind again. Then I'm refusing to speak about it," Jack told her, picking his glass up again and kicking off his shoes, relaxing on the sofa.

"I only get five minutes?" Cindy asked, frowning as she looked at him. He smiled.

"Yes. Only five minutes."

"I don't really see how that's fair," Cindy huffed.

"Well, you have asked me this question at least four times and taken it back. I think one more chance is really too fair," Jack laughed, drinking.

"But, there's no such thing as too fair," Cindy exclaimed, getting another amused glance from Jack as she hesitated and frowned, crossing her legs Indian style on the couch and looking away.

They sat in relative silence for no more than a minute before Cindy had changed her mind again.

"Are you absolutely sure this time?" Jack asked her wryly.

"Yes," Cindy said, nodding her head emphatically.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked, getting one of Cindy's impatient looks. Jack still hesitated.

"Yes!" Cindy exclaimed, waving her hand and nearly spilling her drink onto the ivory sofa. A few drips of orange juice and vodka slipped over the side of the glass and down to her fingers. Scowling at the sticky juice, Cindy put the glass down and her hand up to her mouth, cleaning off her index finger.

Jack stared at her, and she looked up with a smile.

"Well?" she asked, nudging him after she finished licking up the escaped drink.

"Yeah," he said slowly. "You're sure."

"Jack, I'm not saying 'yes' again," Cindy told him curtly, going back to her drink after she cleaned up the sides of the glass.

"Alright," Jack said, shrugging. "Are you paying attention?"

"You have my undivided, rapt attention," Cindy smiled at him, putting extra stress on the last word. He smiled at her, and she smiled back, feeling as though they weren't about to discuss a false claim made about her.

"David said," Jack said, pausing as though he were waiting for Cindy to shake the answer out of him. Cindy raised her eyebrows.

"That you and he were physically intimate on the office sofa not three weeks after you got to Saratoga," he said as though speaking the words hurt him. When he was done elaborating to Cindy's request, she was smiling and he seemed put off.

"You just couldn't say that David said he had sex with me," Cindy pointed out, forgetting completely what David had claimed and focusing on the more recent.

"Well," Jack cleared his throat. "It is a little hard for me to even come close to thinking about, let alone say it."

"Why?" Cindy grinned, pinning Jack in the cross hairs.

"What?" Jack asked, and she leaned forward, shifting herself on the sofa.

"Does my big, bad brother have an overprotection complex?" Cindy laughed, teasing him, which was a rare occurrence. Her smile widened when he seemed to wince.

"No," he said, grabbing her hand so she'd stop poking him in the knee. "Far from that."

"Really?" Cindy challenged, putting down her drink on the table and going into full battle stance. "I think you're lying."

"Hey, I'm far from brotherly," he pointed out, and she gave him that, nodding.

"Okay, but then what are you?"

"I am about to beat you at this game, Cin," he warned her. "Don't push it."

However, Cindy was already pushing it and before either of them really knew what was going on they had wrestled each other off of the sofa and onto the floor. Cindy landed on a heap on top of Jack, and pushed herself up, smiling wickedly as she sat up on his stomach.

"Did you beat me?" she asked, putting a finger to her bottom lip as though she were pondering her situation. "Because how is it that..."

Before she could say anything else he had a hand clapped over her mouth and another on her waist, pushing her off of him. He only pulled his hand away when she was stuck underneath him, pressed close to the coffee table with her drink teetering on the edge above her.

"Jack," she whined, and he grinned.

"It's so easy to get you to complain," he stated and she began to squirm in attempts to inch out from under him.

"I'm not complaining," she defended. "It's just not fair."

"Yeah, keep singing that song," he rolled his eyes.

"Oh, I will," she declared.

"Good," he said with a smile. "I'm not tired of it yet."

Cindy pouted and squirmed some more, finally giving up and going lax against him. She found it almost ironic that she could handle a half ton horse and not be able to out muscle Jack in a stupid wrestling match. Then again she really had no problem with it at all.

"Okay," Cindy said, "I'm giving in."

"You mean that, or is that some ploy to catch me off guard?" he asked her, narrowing her eyes.

"Oh, rest assured I'm going to try and catch you off guard," she told him. "I just don't know when it will happen."

"Well, for the sake of keeping things interesting," he broke off, letting her go. She sat up and he offered her a hand that she didn't take. Instead she got to her feet on her own, picking up her drink off the table. As soon as she straightened she could feel the blood and alcohol rush to her head and suddenly she felt horrible as her vision got fuzzy and her stomach clenched. Before she knew it she had let go of her drink and Jack was holding onto her arms to keep her upright.

"Crap," Cindy muttered, suddenly feeling the wave of nausea passing as she found the sofa and fell onto it. Staring up at the ceiling she felt much better, and she almost smiled.

"You're freaking weird, you know that?" Jack told her.

"Yeah," she nodded, seeing the orange stain on his dress shirt. "You're going to smell like a screwdriver if you don't take that off."

"Is that bad?" Jack asked, and since wrinkled her nose. The smell of alcohol didn't help her stomach and she nodded.

"Okay," he said, unbuttoning the rest of the shirt and tugging it off along with the white t-shirt underneath. He tossed the unwanted articles of clothing back to his room and ran a hand through his hair as Cindy frowned at him, wondering if what he had done was such a good idea.

"Feeling better?" he asked her, and Cindy almost laughed, wondering what he meant.

"Yes," she answered truthfully. "I am."

She watched silently as he cleaned up what was left of her drink, and finally she closed her eyes and stretched out on the sofa. Part of her wanted to fall asleep, but the other side of her was itching for her to open her eyes and stay awake. It was already nearing midnight, and she had a feeling she wasn't going to be able to leave the sofa and go home if she gave in to her tired body. So she forced her eyes open and they automatically fell on Jack walking out of the bedroom.

He had changed into jeans and a clean gray shirt, and Cindy smiled a hello to him when he sat down on the sofa by her knees. She scooted her legs out of the way to allow him room and rolled onto her side, looking at him warily as he rested a hand on the back of the sofa.

"You look like you're ready to hit the sack," he told her, and she laughed a little, stretching again.

"Appearances are deceptive," she answered coyly, settling into the sofa. "I'm really not tired at all."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

She poked him in the side with her toe and wriggled her legs, complaining that he was crowding her. In response, he pinned down her legs and finally stretched out next to her on the sofa after she kicked free.

"Hi," Cindy said, mildly surprised that he had chosen to do.

"Hey," he greeted, looking at her quietly from five inches away. Cindy squirmed under the scrutiny, finding it hard to meet his dark blue eyes when they were so close.

"I'm a little hot," Cindy told him, cursing her mind for going blank right when she needed it the most. Jack lifted his eyebrows for a split second before smiling.

"Yeah, body heat and alcohol can do that to you," he told her with a smirk.

"You sure it's not the thermostat?" she asked him, and he nodded.

"It's cranking out the air conditioning, Cin," he told her, and she sighed, squirming some more.

"Hey," he said, putting a hand on her hip to still her, unwittingly causing the completely opposite reaction. Cindy jumped and shot her brown eyes up to his, questioning him.

"Calm down," he said, laughing.

"I should probably go," she told him.

"It would be irresponsible of me to let you go," he told her.

"I can go," she reiterated.

"I'm not letting you," he told her flat out.

"Jack, I'm not drunk," she whined.

"Cin, you have the tolerance of a very small ant. You're drunk. Stay," he ordered, keeping his hand on her hip until she stopped squirming and relented, nodding.

"Fine," she sighed, biting her lower lip out of her own nervousness. She settled herself on the sofa and smiled at him. There was a quiet silence, before they launched into stupid small talk, laughing at the appropriate times and telling dumb jokes to get a foothold on their new situation.

Finally, Cindy poked him in the stomach and inched a little closer.

"How the hell did you even believe David, anyway?" she asked him. "Really, Jack. How?"

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Part of me knew not to believe it in the first place. I'm not that gullible, Cin."

"Oh, no," Cindy shook her head. "You believed it."

"Okay, fine," he nodded. "I believed it."

"You jerk!" Cindy cried, hitting him in the side lightly. He grabbed her hand before she could do it again and nodded.

"Okay, I'm a jerk," he told her, holding her hand between them. "But honestly, you don't have any idea."

"Then give me an idea," Cindy told him, to which he shook his head.

"Nah, let's not ruin an already beautiful day of accusations and drunkenness, okay?"

"I'm going to find out," she promised him.

"And eventually I won't stop you from finding out," he told her with a smile tugging on his mouth.

"Eventually?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't know if that's good enough for me."

"Deal," he told her stubbornly.

"I can get you to talk," she told him playfully, trying to tickle him and getting no response.

"Sadly, you're going to have to find another way," he told her, smiling as she sighed her frustration.

"Damn it," she frowned, then started to squeal as he did the same to her, tickling her until she wriggled herself all over the couch and finally straight into him to evade his hands. As soon as she felt herself fall straight into him, she reared her head back and looked at him. That stopped his hands in their tracks, but instead of making a hasty retreat like she had figured he would, he wrapped an arm around her back and held her there.

"Jack," she said quietly, and he answered her as though it had been a question.

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?" she asked him, bringing her head back toward him.

"I think we're two steps away from doing something stupid," he answered her, and she had to smile a little.

"Something stupid?" she asked. "Just two steps away?"

"Yeah, it's probably more like one, to be honest," he said.

She felt his grip on her tighten a little and her breath caught in the back of her throat. Her heart was beating far too fast, and she tried to stare him down.

"Are we in the process of stepping?" she asked carefully, digging the pads of her fingers into the soft cotton material of his shirt.

"Yes, but not exactly as planned," he shrugged, and Cindy raised an eyebrow.

"You're planning?" she asked, feeling all the hair on her limbs raise at once as a slow creeping feeling ran down her spine. She shivered through the haze of alcohol and realized she was actually nervous, which she found amusing. After all this time of being near Jack, the thought of being nervous about being with Jack almost made her laugh. Suddenly her head was a swarm of dizzying emotions, and all of them were vying with each other. She had wanted this, naturally, but at the same time she feared it, and so she shook quietly.

"Hey," he said, rubbing his hand up and down her back. "Calm down, Cin. Take a deep breath, okay?"

It was then that she realized she hadn't been breathing, so she opened her mouth and sucked down the air like candy, keeping her eyes steady on his.

"So what's the plan?" she asked him when she got her courage up.

"It's coming to me as I go," Jack informed her.

"Are you going to forewarn me?" Cindy asked, feeling his roving hand dip into her hair and settle at the nape of her neck. He inched toward her again and she shivered automatically, holding her breath again.

"Most likely not," he informed her with a smile, and she opened her mouth to voice her immediate comeback, which was the natural response between them, but he cut her off. She felt a gentle pull on the back of her neck and before she could take back any of her lost control, Cindy felt her lips grazing over Jack's. She widened her eyes briefly and pulled back to gauge what was going on, but she didn't have much chance to analyze the situation. In her gut she could already feel herself giving in, and when he pushed toward her again she knew. The flood gates had been slammed down.

Although she knew he had shaved, since Jack always shaved before the races, she could already feel the shadow of stubble grazing over her skin as he kissed her. It was a rough feeling against her skin that she hadn't felt in years, so she closed her eyes and eagerly kissed him back, throwing caution to the wind and letting the feeling that was running down her spine take over her action. She opened her mouth and kissed him back, pressing as much as he pulled her toward him.

Some part of it must have been the alcohol running through her suddenly rushing blood, but every part of Cindy was singing. Jack pushed his hand back through her tangled blond hair and kept a firm grip on her lower back, trapping her against him although she had no wish to move. She didn't stop him when his hand strayed from her back and slid under her shirt, and she didn't stop him when it wandered across her bare skin to brush against her bra. She didn't stop him when the bra didn't become a concern anymore and was out of the picture for good. Cindy was immersed in the moment, and all she wanted was to continue feeling wonderful.

With their hands roaming to cover places they had never been, and their eyes slipping open every few seconds to record the moment, Cindy smiled quietly against his mouth in her knowledge that this shouldn't be happening. But it was happening, and she was going to let it continue.

"What?" he asked when he saw her smile. He slid his hand back down her stomach and she kissed him, pushing her hands through his hair.

"I was just thinking that we shouldn't be doing this," she told him against his mouth.

"Yeah, you're probably right," he said, stopping any further talking and kissing her again, keeping his hand down around the edge of her jeans. Cindy rose up to meet him, not caring where his hand went as long as he kept kissing her. She pulled one hand from his dark hair and let it rove down his chest and stomach, taking her own exploratory trip down the smooth muscles that she found.

"We should stop," Cindy told him between kisses, and he mildly agreed, kissing her back. She felt his hand invade under her jeans without undoing the zipper, taking advantage of their looseness to run along the edge of her underwear. Cindy hissed out a breath as he went a little further, and finally pushed back.

"Jack," she said, and he nodded, pulling back.

They looked at each other warily, as though testing where their limits stood. They laid side by side on the couch, their hands resting where they stopped, staring at each other as though they'd just seen each other, or just discovered something drastically new. Cindy licked her already wet lips and pushed herself away until she felt herself pressing against the back of the couch. They were drunk, and she scolded herself when she saw him hesitate before reaching out to her again.

A slight shake of her head stopped him in his tracks and he sighed, relaxing next to her on the sofa. They didn't speak at all. Instead they both looked at each other until she noticed he was falling asleep. Finally, his breathing evened and Cindy squeezed her eyes shut, wondering what the repercussions were going to be in the morning. When she looked at Jack again she knew she wasn't going to stay to find out.

Carefully, she climbed over him and put her bare feet on the carpeted floor. Lurching herself up, she slipped her feet into the sandals and grabbed her things. She picked her keys out of her purse and headed for the door, trying not to look behind her.

The track was silent except for the rumbling beats of horses' hooves against dirt and the soft sound of air pouring out of wide nostrils. Cindy hovered over the strong chestnut back of Wonderment, feeling his flame-colored mane sting against her hands as it slapped up and down with each stride. Without much effort, Wonderment skimmed over the track with giant strides and pricked his ears eagerly at the distance of the track. Cindy patted a hand against his sweaty neck, feeling the muscles coil and tremble. She slowed him down going into the first turn, standing up further in the saddle. They had just gone four furlongs in a nearly perfect time.

"That looked fantastic," Josie called over to Cindy as she started out on War Hero, the dark bay colt prancing and dancing, eager to get the show on the road. The sun was rising steadily on the horizon, and already Cindy could see the red sheen glimmering through his dark coat.

"Thanks," Cindy smiled tightly, running her hand over Wonderment's gold mane and giving him another pat on the neck. Wonderment slowed to an elegant trot, bouncing lightly past War Hero as the dark colt smoldered and fought Josie.

"Hey," Josie said, wheeling War Hero so she could talk quickly. "What's up with Jack? He's, well, acting weird."

Cindy frowned and shook her head, pulling Wonderment to a halt before she got to the gap. "I don't want to talk about it, Jo."

"We're talking when we get home," Josie responded quickly, a smile appearing on her face. Cindy rolled her eyes.

"Really," Cindy said. "Don't want to talk about it."

"You say that now," Josie told her, turning War Hero around and letting him head up the track. "You'll change your mind!" she called behind her as she went, and Cindy sighed before asking Wonderment to continue to the gap.

She had gotten home late last night, and she hadn't talked to Jack since. Partly it was out of fear of what he would say, and partly it was out of fear that she couldn't stop things from changing. Cindy had never liked change. When she was a girl, change had meant heading into something worse than she had before. To Cindy, she had made a mistake with Jack and to her it didn't even matter that he had been willing to make the mistake along with her. It was still a mistake, no matter how much she had wanted it to happen.

Cindy walked Wonderment off the track, giving David a blank look before turning away and jumping off the colt. She gathered the reins and ignored the groom, taking Wonderment back to the stables herself. The chestnut colt followed her, swishing his tail and pricking his ears at passers by, nickering out greetings to friends and pinning his ears at those he didn't like. Cindy slapped him on the shoulder when he threatened, tugging him to the outside of the barn to untack him and do the common work she hadn't done in months.

Silently, she allowed the groom to hold the colt as she washed him up and rinsed him off. She hotwalked him and fussed over him, completely forgetting her role on the backside for the moment. He had been her last horse of the day, and her first race was the last on the card. She had all the time in the world.

Finally, Cindy slid the colt back in his stall and ran her hand over his face, giving him a kiss on the nose.

"What do you think will happen?" Cindy asked the colt quietly as he nuzzled his hay net, ripping out a hunk and chewing on it thoughtfully. "He probably thinks I'm crazy," she told the colt. "But he didn't know what he was doing last night. Neither did I. It was all up to stupid hormones, right?"

Wonderment gave her a soft look from his brown eyes and Cindy sighed, gave him a pat on the neck, and turned around. What she saw behind her was David with a small smile on his face.

"What the hell do you want?" she asked him, picking up Wonderment's tack and heading to the back room to swing it onto the colt's designated hooks.

"I wanted to apologize," he said, leaning in the doorway as she finished up with the tack and pushed past him.

"Oh?" she asked, snorting. "For what, exactly? Your attitude toward me for the past week, what you told Jack, or for making my life miserable for the past forty-eight hours?"

"Okay," he said, following her out. "I said that I'm sorry, and I mean that. I didn't intend all of the stuff that happened, and I'm deeply sorry for lying to Jack."

"Yes, I'm sure you are," she sighed, looking down the once empty aisle. It was now teaming with several grooms walking horses in and out of stalls to head to the receiving barn. Races started soon, and the backside was about to explode with activity. Without a word, Cindy ducked into the office. The last thing she wanted was to start up rumors.

"Seriously," David said, following her inside and closing the door. Cindy leaned against the desk and frowned at him, expecting more. "I'm really, very sorry."

"I don't particularly care, David," Cindy said, crossing her arms and looking away. "I have my own problems right now and I really don't need you messing around in my life. Just forget it."

David was quiet for a moment as he leaned against the closed door, considering her. "You know," he finally said, shrugging. "You should get things settled with Jack."

Cindy only looked at him, giving him a tired expression that made him continue talking quickly, as if trying to get all his thoughts in before she kicked him out of the office.

"I mean, I don't know what's going on between you both, but I know Jack and I know he's not going to take any action on this. It all has to be up to you to get him talking. Jack isn't the kind of guy..."

"What do you know?" Cindy spat at him, laughing. "You don't even know what's going on."

"Then what's going on?"

Cindy frowned at him, and looked away.

"Should I just make up scenarios?" David asked her. "I can do that, Cin."

"Oh, I know you can do that quite well," Cindy shot at him, and he nodded.

"Yeah, I deserve that."

"You sure as hell do," Cindy told him, frowning.

"I'm sorry," he stressed. "I can't do much more than beg."

Cindy sighed and rolled her eyes, giving him a look.

"Tell me?"

"No," Cindy shook her head.

"Well, obviously something happened," he said. "Jack is hardly speaking to anyone today, and you're acting bitchy to everyone."

"You are hardly going to start analyzing my situation," Cindy told him, suddenly getting up and pushing past him to the door. She opened the door and saw two exercise riders look up at her curiously. Cindy sighed and slammed the door behind her. She might as well give everyone something to talk about.

That night, Cindy at on one of the lawn chairs, sipping at a glass of wine and staring at the pool. Laura and Josie were sitting opposite her, both looking at her like she was crazy.

"Well, this is a classic good-friends-get-drunk situation," Laura began, looking over at Josie for comment.

"Sure, I see that," Josie shrugged. "Boy and girl meet, they become great friends because circumstances refuse to let them get together romantically, they eventually let stress build to the breaking point, which usually involves alcohol and second guesses."

"Nice analysis," Cindy told her cousin, rolling her eyes emphatically.

"Well, that's what happened, isn't it?" Laura asked, getting a nod from Josie and a frustrated sigh from Cindy.

"Guys, it's not that I don't appreciate the counseling here, but I think this will just ride itself out."

"Oh right," Laura laughed.

"Hardly," Josie agreed.

"Stop it!" Cindy demanded.

"No," Josie said, shaking her head. "From all that I can tell, you should march yourself back to Jack's hotel room. You guys need to have a long, long talk."

"But," Cindy tried, getting cut off by Laura.

"Really, Cin," her roommate nodded. "You've liked Jack for ages, and you can't freak out now. This is like you, Cin. You freak out at the worst times, and this is the most illogical of all the freak outs you've had."

"But, I just think that he really didn't want to," Cindy said, not knowing what she was trying to say. "We were both stupid and drunk. It was a bad situation now that I look at it closely."

"You don't know," Josie pointed out. "You're thinking too much. You like Jack, and Jack likes you. As far as I can see, there shouldn't be any problems anymore now that you've gotten past the first plunge."

"But there are," Cindy groaned, putting down her wine glass. She was getting tired of the interventions, and now that she was being pushed around by two of the most persistent people she knew, Cindy was not optimistic about the situation.

"No!" Laura exclaimed. "Jesus, Cindy. This is so irritating. You like Jack. Jack knows this, or at least he did. If you can't get it through your skull that Jack was the initiator, that Jack wasn't repulsed by the whole thing, and that Jack would have said very clearly that he didn't want to be with you, then Jack has no problem with what happened! He's probably pissed as hell that you've avoided him all freakin' day and now, unless you go straight back to his hotel, he'll probably think that it all really was a mistake. Go now. Now, Cindy."

Cindy was too busy being shocked by Laura's outburst to register her command. It took a second dose of Laura's berating and a little help from Josie to get Cindy out of her chair and in the car. By the time she was cruising up to his hotel, Cindy had a mantra running through her head to keep her going.

"How the hell did I freakin' get here?" Cindy muttered to herself as she walked into the hotel and past the front desk to the elevators. She tapped her foot against the smooth floor as she waited, going over what she had to say in her head. Laura and Josie were right; she had overreacted and nearly screwed everything up.

The elevator doors opened in front of her and Cindy stepped inside, punching the right button and waiting as the elevator started to rise. Her heart was beating hard inside her chest as she went over what she had to say. There was so much to say that the speech she had told herself in the car was starting to get jumbled, so she tried to stop thinking about it. Then the doors opened at his floor.

Slowly, Cindy walked across the aisle and to his door, pausing in front of it.

"Okay," Cindy said, looking down at herself. She didn't look too bad after Laura had thrown a white blouse at her and a fresh pair of jeans to change into. Josie had supplied make up, and confidence before shoving her out the door to the car. Now she stood in front of his hotel room like Laura and Josie had demanded of her, looking fresh and attractive, and she took a deep breath. She reminded herself that she had okayed the idea that she come here. She curled her toes against the leather of her sandals and let out a breath. She lifted her hand and knocked.

There was no answer. Cindy frowned and knocked again. Again, no answer.

"Christ," Cindy sighed, leaning forward and resting her forehead against the door. She couldn't believe this.