Lying in bed:
I cannot get this off my mind. If it's vegetarian chicken, then how do they get the flavoring? Surely there must be some chicken in that. I'm so confused!
2 minutes later:
Of all things to be kept up by this surely is one of the stupidest.
4 minutes later:
Bloody Barbarians! I'll never get to sleep!
6:30 AM:
Spenda in a can! I have dark circles under my eyes!! This is all Dave's fault! This is probably all in his little plan to get back at me for the Masimo fandangy! Next he will- "Georgia! Oh your awake this time! Anyway, breakfast awaits you!" And he closed the door. I nearly had an aneurism! He is quite a frightening Count Chocula.
Table once more:
Ah, oatmeal. Nice. I'm exploding with giddiness.
Stalag 14:
Ro Ro sent me a note:
Whats with your eyes? Have you been doing illegal substances?
-Casablanca
R.E.:
I sent a note to my Ace-ys:
Ace Gang Meeting after school. It involves chicken.
Ace Gang Meeting:
"Where's Ellen?" I ask.
"Oh, she went somewhere with her parents." Jas said.
Okay, now I can talk about Dave the Apron. Er. Laugh. Ugh.. bad images.
"Okay so what about chicken?" Ro Ro asked searching for something in her ruckie (probably the beard).
"No, this is about Dave the Laugh."
"I shutter at the though of Dave and a chicken." Rosie said.
"No! There is no chicken involved right now! Just Dave!" I told them.
"Oh okay. Well tell us. Did he do something? You know like, after the Masimo dumped you?" Jas asked.
"Okay. First off; Masimo didn't dump me. He just had a bit of a hump. Secondly, the nub and gist of the Dave problem is he is currently at my homestead, probably doing my laundry!"
They all just looked at me, like Jas' thousands of owls.
5 minutes of awkward silence and owling later:
"Wait he's doing your laundry? Did he promise to be your slavey boy, or something after the Masimo incident?" Rosie asked.
"No. My parents went off for…….ANYWAY my parents are on a bit of….erm…a holiday. And he is house-sitting 24/7!"
And there goes more owli-ness.
6 minutes of explaining later:
"-Then he made vegetarian chicken for dinner, and I was up all night thinking about how it can be "vegetarian" if there is chicken flavoring!"
"Maybe they zap the soy beans with a laser, like in Star Wars, and make it taste like chicken." Rosie said while putting on her beard.
"So if we zapped shaving cream, it would taste like chicken!?"
"Ugh. You two are just being so foolish," Jas began, flicking her fringe.
"-They boil the soy in chicken fat until it tastes like chicken."
"But, that stills involve chicken, so that is not vegetarian!"
9:45 PM:
That was perhaps the longest meeting ever. Hmm, I think this is a moment to break out the special Herbal Relax Lemon Lover's Tea. I walk into the kitchen and there he was once again.
Dave was standing there stirring, again, something in a bowl and wearing the same apron. Is he happy that he's dressed like a transvestite?
"Georgia, where have you been?"
I looked at him. He looked at me. I looked at him. Normally when this happens someone bursts into laughter. Obviously not so in this situation.