A/N: I could not stay away from this.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Jasper or any of the characters here. I wish I did. I own them in my dreams………
"Stop blaming yourself, Bella." Jasper walked with slow even steps towards where I was lying on the bed.
Honestly in the hundred years that I've been with the family, I had never really talked to Jasper or even attempted to be a sister to him. Edward and I had found a little cottage away from the mansion for ourselves. I just kept my distance when we did visit Alice and the crew, I made sure to always avoid Jasper. Why would I even go near this vampire who had tried to kill me for a single paper cut? His little outburst was what led to Edward leaving me. His inability to control his thirst had led to my suicide. You'd think I would be over it by now, but I couldn't be. Every time I tried, I'd remember Edward's eyes as he left me and the state I was in for months afterwards. I avoided him as much as possible and him me. I didn't care. I had Edward. We acted like estranged cousins.
"Jasper…" I tried to be afraid but I couldn't. How could I be afraid of Jasper when he was a victim just like me? I knew he was as hurt as I was. "I'm sorry…" I was sorry for a lot of things. For being the pitiful fragile individual always counting on others to help me. For not being the perfect wife Edward was looking for. For not sensing that Jasper had been hurt deeply as well. For not seeing that everyone has their own little problems to work through. For being plain old Bella.
"Bella." His tone was adamant, trying to calm me down. I looked up at him, his piercing gold eyes boring into my violet ones. His chiseled jaw tightened; his golden half Mohawk flitted slightly in the still air. To say he was more beautiful than Edward would not be correct, yet…there was some truth to it. There was something in him that Edward didn't have. Edward was perfect in everyway. I could not find a single thing about him that I didn't want. But it also angered me that he was so perfect. I felt like I was in a constant war with him, always having to fight just to be considered worthy of his love. These thoughts only plunged the knife in my chest deeper, burrowing into depths I had no idea was in me.
"Bella. Stop it. You can't undo what is already done. They're not going to return our love. They're not going to fight for our relationships so why are we suffering for it? Don't torture yourself."
As he said this, I saw pain pulse across Jasper's features; turning the corners of his mouth downwards into a sad line. In that one instant, all I wanted to do was hug him just like I wanted someone to hug me, to make sure that I was whole and okay. Even though I knew a simple hug would not cure me of the void of emotions I felt, I knew it would make a difference. I listened to my heart, sat up on the bed and trooped over to give Jasper a hug.
Jasper stiffened. I eased myself into the hug, slowly I pressed my body to his, to let him feel another being close to his heart. I knew that this would ease the pain, however minimal. I trailed my arms around his broad shoulders.
Then I touched the base of his neck and gasped.
The electricity that traveled through my fingertips shocked me like lightning would. It tingled my senses. I was sure Jasper felt it too as he had a look of shock on his face. I flung my arms away from him and backed myself against the wall.
"I…I need chocolate."
As Jasper and I walked around in the city, enticed by the nightlights, we wove in and out of the homebound crowds, always careful to avoid touching any of the humans lest they feel our skin. As I ate through my third box of truffles, I couldn't help but steal glances at Jasper. He had flaws, sure, but who doesn't? Edward. I almost threw up the chocolate I had congested. The anger and depression fought with each other, enlarging the gaping hole I thought was long gone.
Jasper coughed, bringing me out of my trance. Then I finally remembered his subtle power of being able to read my emotions. I stiffened.
"Bella, I don't want you…both of us to be caught in this endless cycle of hurt. So I propose a pact."
"A…pact?" Jasper was ridiculously close to me, I could feel his alabaster skin next to mine. The electricity was already buzzing in anticipation.
"Yes, Bella. We will not think about them for the remainder of our little… escapade if you would call it that. We deserve some fun, eh?" I could only nod.
"So, our pact is that we don't think about them?" my voice could only muster a mere whisper.
"Yes. I, Jasper Whitlock Cullen," he raised his hand in the air, making me giggle, "vow to not think about them or let their act of absolute stupidity to make me feel any less than I deserve. I seal this pact with…" he looked around the street, spotting a small jewelry store. He pulled me into the shop, making me drop my box of truffles. He bought a ring. The ring had was a simple silver band with a diamond encrusted angel wing wrapped around it. His long lean fingers slipped the ring into my pointer finger, leaving a trail of goose bumps on my wrists where he held my hand.
"This. Let this remind you of the pact we made." I felt tears pool in my eyes. I had a soft spot for angel wing jewelry, but this ring meant a lot more than my other jewelry. The fact that Jasper was so determined to make a pact with me, to help me, and himself, forget about the pain, was…so moving.
"Well, I don't know if I'm able to top that, but…here goes. I, Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, vow to not think about them or let their act of…"
"Absolute stupidity." Jasper snickered.
"Right. Their act of absolute stupidity to make me feel any less than I deserve. I seal this pact with…" I looked around in the shop, finding something to seal my pact with. I saw it right next to where my ring had been. It was an angel wing pendant. The single wing was made with oxidized silver, encrusted with silvers. It was not too large, only five centimeters long, yet it fit Jasper so well. I bought the pendant along with a thick silver chain. I handed over Edward's credit card over, smirking. I slipped the pendant onto the chain and slipped it over Jasper's golden Mohawk. Even his damn hair was sending tingles down my spine.
"This. Let angel wings be a symbol of our pact." I whispered, unable to pull away from the beauty of this moment. It was the moment that started our friendship, our therapy for one another.
Jasper grinned, his smile not that different from Edward's crooked grin. I felt a stab of pain.
"I think someone just broke the pact." Jasper nudged me as we strolled along the street again.
"Well, we need some time. We can't just spontaneously forget the loves of our lives."
"Right." With that, we lapsed into a moment of comfortable silence, each of us wallowing in our own loss of love. I looked up into the sky, spotting hundreds of stars in the black velvety sky. The moon hung long, its radiance emanating through the night. Every crater on the moon, every dust particle hanging around in space, it just made me seem like such a miniscule being. The moon looked extra bright and extra comforting tonight. I could only think of one thing as I stared into the sky: whether Edward could see it, too. I could only wish for one thing as I stared into the sky: for Edward to be right next to me, enjoying this moment.
I sighed with disappointment at myself, for remembering him. I half expected Jasper to say something. I turned around to my side, only to see that Jasper was no longer next to me.
Waves of shock, panic, hurt kept pelting at me, smashing me into even tinier pieces. Had Jasper left me too? Did he already grow tired of me?
"Bella! I'm right here!" I didn't even realize that I was sobbing on the pavement until Jasper wrapped his strong arms around me, soothing me. My moment of weakness sent my control over my powers out of sync, my control over air and water quickly ravaged themselves and drew up a quick storm. The wind was whipping quickly, picking up even more speed. The rain started to fall in large drops, soaking through Jasper and my clothes.
"Damn it! I can't even control my own power. I can't do anything!" I sobbed, driving my power even more out of control.
"Bella…your emotions…are hurting…me…I can't stand looking at you like this…" Jasper sounded like he was in pain; his arms wrapped around me even tighter. I whipped my head around to look him in the eye, only to plant my lips onto his.
The feeling of pain subsided, overtaken by the electrifying tingle on my lips. There was no denying how much I wanted this. I didn't pull back, neither did Jasper. Instead we deepened the kiss, molding against each other as if we've been doing this for forever. My mind was screaming in ecstasy, calming down the storm. I felt love, lust and desire envelope around me, settling on my skin and tingling my every senses. I knew it was Jasper's but at the same time, within me, I could feel my own love, lust and desire burning with passionate intensity. I knew Jasper couldn't manipulate these. These were real. These were my raw feelings.
Everything I felt at this moment, as the rain lessened to no more than a drizzle and the wind to a light breeze, was different from what I've felt before. It was imperfect, far from the perfection Edward and I had experienced. It was what I've wanted. It was what I've been seeking for all this time. It was what I gave my life, my soul up for.
Jasper's tongue slipped into my mouth, eliciting a moan from me. I buckled under this magical moment but Jasper only held onto me tighter. I dove my hands into his golden hair, relishing how silky and soft it was. His hands traced every curve of my body as he pulled me up to a standing position. I pressed my body closer to his, unable to even be any farther away from him than necessary. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into his warm embrace.
We must have stood in the streets for a long time but we finally broke our kiss. Our amazing kiss. Our earth-shattering kiss.
"Jasper. I'm sorry."
Jasper had a look of hurt, "For what, Bella?" he whispered, barely audible. It was as if he was afraid of the answer.
"For… breaking the pact and taking advantage of you. For not noticing you in the last century. For blaming you for everything. For not being able to let go of a stupid grudge. For a lot of things, really."
I lowered my eyes to the ground, kicking the pavement.
"Bella. Bella. Bella. You have nothing to apologize for." Jasper hugged me, letting me feel love, comfort and relief. I leaned my head onto his chest, inhaling and exhaling his sweet scent. I placed my hand on his chest, where his heart would be beating had it not died all these years ago. I looked at my two rings: Edward's ring and Jasper's ring; my old love and my new…love. Was it love? Am I rushing into this? It's only been two days since we got…close. Without a second thought, I took Edward's ring off and placed Jasper's ring in its place.
I wrapped my arms around Jasper's waist. He placed his fingers under my chin, bringing my lips to his.
"Don't overthink this. Love is irrational." His sweet breath caressed my skin, shooting electrical shots through my body.
I was hesitant, but it all just felt right. It doesn't matter if I had just ended a century old relationship. It doesn't even matter that the man I had fallen for was my ex-best friend's husband or my ex-husband's brother. It only mattered that it felt right and that I could live with this for a century and another century and…another. The rational side of my brain told me to take time before rushing into this.
"You're pretty good at making me forget about him." I smiled. I could feel the disappointment but it was gone before I could register it.
"I can say the same for you."
We walked hand in hand back towards the hotel.
"Wait here, Bella." Jasper let go of my hand, dashing towards the opposite direction from the hotel. As quickly as he was gone, he came back to my side, holding a bouquet of magnolia flowers, my favorite.
I was momentarily muted, unable to find words to say anything that could possibly express how touched I was. Jasper was so sensitive. Sure Edward was too and I'm mentally slapping myself for even comparing the two, but Jasper just knew what I liked, wanted, needed even before I registered it myself. He's sensitive because whatever I felt, he felt.
I could feel the tears pressing against my eyes again. Instead of trying to find words to express what I felt, I just let Jasper feel it. I threw my arms around his neck, crushing my lips to his. I concentrated on channeling every sliver of gratitude, love, and hope into that kiss.
"Jasper, I don't know how to say this in the way I'd like it to come out but, I think I love you. I don't even think I'm guilty about it."
"Good, cause I'm insanely in love with you, Isabella."
Then he kissed me. It was like a never-ending cycle. The love I felt for him, he felt. The love he felt for me, I felt. There was nothing in this world that could compare to this perfection, not even Edward.
A/N: REVIEW!! Tell me how it is!
HUGE THANKS TO ashleyynicolex3, xXxJazRainexXx for putting this story in their favorites and MakeMeACullen, Starlight111, elvenayra, magicalpuffy for alerting this!