A/N: Warning: This chapter contains a lot of anger and I got carried away with it all. I was really pissed off when I wrote this…
Anywayyyyyyys, enjoy!!
Disclaimer: I wish I owned the magnificent, wonderful vampires, but alas, I own the storyline only.
I stood in our meadow, attacked by the tsunamis of memories that came rushing at me.
I lit our meadow on fire.
Closure.
--
What Alice had seen did not amuse Edward. In fact, Edward sunk into depression, retreating to his room, playing the CD he made me all those years ago on repeat. Each time my lullaby came on, I'd cringe, feeling the gaping hole in my chest expanding a little more. I sat on the couch, watching Emmett play video games. I wished that I could be in that video game, slaying monsters rather than sitting here drowning in guilt and sorrow. What had Alice seen in that vision? I know for sure I'm in the vision and if Edward was upset over something that happened to me…I won't be able to forgive myself for throwing him—or anyone for that matter—into such deep depression.
"Fuck, if he doesn't stop playing that damned CD, I might just have to kill him." Emmett threw his game controller into the wall. Rose leaned her head onto his shoulder, placing her hand on his chest trying to calm him.
"Em…"
"Rosie! He's repeated the damn thing at least a hundred times."
Jasper slid behind me, wrapping his arms around me and propping his head on my shoulder.
"Love, don't feel guilty. You're making my life harder than it already is. Edward's sinking deeper and deeper into depression and Alice's just angry and temperamental. This is emotion overload."
"I know, but what if what Alice had seen of me is what's causing all of this?"
"Let the future unfold itself. The more you think about it, the more you're going to anticipate it coming true. You'll just act in a way that eventually will lead to what Alice saw."
"You're right."
"Of course I'm right." Jasper smirked and placed a deep kiss on my lips, I smiled as all the guilt went away. Who cares about that son of a bitch?
--
Emmett had stayed behind with me while Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper went out to hunt. We were engaging in a pretty heated video game battle when Edward, the almighty mind reader, sauntered into the room.
"Finally out of your room, Eddie?" Emmett knew Edward hated this name.
"Bella, can I talk to you? Privately?" Edward placed a chilly hand on my shoulder. I no longer shivered or got goose bumps from his touch. Instead, I flinched back from his touch.
"What is it? Anything you say to me I'll probably end up telling Emmett anyway." I concentrated on the video game. At least I attempted to.
"Emmett, would you be so kind to leave us alone then?" Emmett whipped his head around. His eyes met mine. We didn't need mind reading powers to know that we were thinking of the same thing. Edward hadn't spoken so politely since last century. If he wanted someone out of the room, he'd throw them out rather than wait for them to get out.
"Uh, Edward, man, you sick?"
Edward laughed. It pierced my heart. It was his laugh. It was the laugh that stirred deep emotions and old memories, so distant yet so close to my heart.
"No, Emmett. I'm fine. Better than ever." He pulled me up from the ground, "If you don't mind now, Emmett. I have to talk to Bella."
Emmett was too shock to even put up a fight about it; he walked out of the door just staring at Edward, his mouth agape with incredulity.
"Bella." His bronze hair shimmered in the sliver of sunlight that came through between the curtains.
"Edward." I stayed calm on the outside, but internally, I was writhing in pain. Longing, desire, love, hatred, anger, detest tore at my heart.
"How are you?" Edward looked genuinely interested in how my life had been in the past few months. His dark eyes were wide with interest. I pondered on how to answer him, should I tell him to go fuck himself? Well, asshole, since you cheated on me with my best friend, I've been through the worst time of my entire life. Now, I'm living the best time of my life because I've found who I'm destined to be with. So I've actually got to thank you.
"God, what kind of question is that? I know, you've been through hell…" I snorted, Is this guy serious? Edward tried to reach for my hand, I turned to leave the room but he grabbed my wrist, "Wait, just hear me out!" I pulled my hand out of his, glaring with all the hatred I could muster despite the love I have for him.
I stayed silent.
"I'm so sorry, Bella…I don't know what came over me." Great does he seriously think I'll fall for that? Edward sat down on the couch, burying his head into his hands. His hand ruffled through his hair. My dead heart thudded in my ribcage, threatening to explode out of my chest. This small action opened a dam, releasing the long string of memories from my human life.
"If you're here to tell me how sorry you are, save it. I don't want to hear it. I don't need to hear it." I turned to leave the room, but Edward grabbed my wrist again. He spun me into his chest, locking me into his arms.
"Edward what the fuck are you doing? Get off of me!" I pushed my arms against his, trying to make him release his arms around me.
"Bella…seeing you with Jasper…it breaks my heart." His voice cracked with emotion, his head hung low as he dry sobbed into my shoulder.
"What did you think I was feeling when I caught you fucking Alice on my bed?" I threw a punch at Edward's chest. His dark eyes filled with desperation and sorrow, but he refused to let go of me. He is not going to dazzle his way back in my life. "What do you want me to do? Take you back into my life? You'll just break me again. Let go of me! I've got Jasper now, just like you've got Alice. Go back to her!"
"I don't want her! I want you. Please…I know you love me. You'll never love anyone as much as you love me, not even Jasper. You are my first and last love." His tone was dripping in honey, seeping through my tough exterior into my fragile heart. He had a look of adoration on his beautiful features. I felt myself melting into a puddle of 'I-Love-Edward-Cullen'. "Bella, I love you."
My vision blurred with tears. He said it. I've been longing to hear these words from his mouth for so long I didn't even know I had been waiting for it. I've gotten used to waiting for him to say it. After all this time with Jasper, I know I loved Jasper but, will it ever surmount to what I felt for Edward? Emotions that I thought had died were resurrected, clouding my head. It was so difficult for me to forget what Edward had meant to me, even more difficult for me to discard all my feelings for him in mere months. I had gotten over him but that only meant I had accepted the reality that he didn't love me anymore. It doesn't mean I don't still hold a fraction of the intense love I used to feel for him. I felt guilty for even being in such close proximity to Edward.
He took this moment of weakness to inch his face closer to me, dropping his hands to the small of my back and dipping me. His lips were millimeters away from mine, his breath settling on my skin like silk.
My body ached to close the gap, screaming for his soft lips on mine. That fraction of love I felt for Edward threw every ounce of rational thought out of my mind. This feels right! Just do it. He's willing to take you back, what else do you want?
I inched my face into his, ready to kiss him.
I lifted my hand…and slapped him.
To say he was shocked is an understatement. He dropped me on the ground, placing his hand on his cheek. I threw icicles in his direction, throwing him against the wall. He struggled off easily, but I was too quick for him. I threw him into the wall again, causing a large dent in the wall.
I pinned him under me, pounding this worthless piece of granite into nothing. My tears were cascading down like a waterfall, damn those traitor tears.
"You bastard! How dare you! Do you think I'm just some prostitute on the street you can pick up when you're bored? I'm not fragile, idiotic Bella anymore. I used to think you were my everything. I used to think I was going to spend the rest of eternity with you. You threw that away. Twice." With every word, I pound into him, breaking into his pretty little face. Each punch I threw into him, I'd feel a punch internally. Every kick I threw into him, I'd feel a kick internally. It hurt me just as much as it hurt him if not even more.
My tears were staining his shirt, but I didn't stop. I felt the inferno engulfing my body, I just kept pounding him into the wall. The fire that engulfed me could not kill vampires, but it hurt them, charring their skin and scathing them like pure acid. It didn't mark them forever but it sure hurt like hell. I didn't even hear the rest of the family coming into the room, back from the hunt. Jasper rushed to my side, placing his hands onto my face, catching the falling tears.
"Bella. Don't lose control. Come back to me. Bella, love. Please." Jasper's voice coaxed my external and internal fire.
I took a huge gulp of unnecessary oxygen and contained my fire. Jasper threw his arms around me. The scent of him—that sweet tangy scent—soothed me; it prevented me from falling into that pit of inferno.
I just cried. I kept crying, unable to believe that I had denied Edward of something I had wanted for so long. Not anymore. Everything he had done, each look of pain, adoration and his laugh had merely been a display of his great acting skills. I fell onto the ground, weak under the ton of emotion on my shoulder. Jasper laid down right next to me, his hands tracing soothing circles on my back.
I grabbed Jasper's hands, horrified at what I had done to them. In his desperation to calm me, he had thrown his hands around my bare skin, charring his delicate hands. I whimpered, disappointed and angry with myself for even hurting this man I loved so much.
"I'm so sorry, Jasper." I felt another round of tears welling up in my eyes. I kissed his hands, trying to get rid of the pain I'm sure he must be feeling right now.
"It's okay, love. I don't mind the pain as long as you're okay." After what I had done to him—almost kissing Edward and burning his hands—he forgave me. He still loved me.
"I love you so much." I placed my arms around his waist, resting my head on the crook of his neck. I'm never letting him go.
"Not as much as I love you, angel."
Edward let out a sadistic laugh, pulling me out of my little piece of heaven. He had burns all over him; his clothing had holes, hanging on him in scraps. He still looked shocked.
"I guess you can never really see the future." He whispered so softly I was sure I had heard wrong. What did he even mean?
Apparently Jasper heard him too, and he understood what he meant. His body was shaking. I turned to look at him—his eyes were dark. He looked absolutely livid, terrifying.
"Jasper, what is it?" I placed my hand flat on his chest.
He flew right out of our embrace, his shoulders shaking with fury.
"You vile disgusting scum! How could you?! You and Alice…You two planned this didn't you?"
Okay, I'm done crying so can someone please explain to me what's happening?
Alice chuckled, a pang of grimace in her musical laugh.
"We knew you two still had feelings for us. I saw it." Alice pointed at her tiny little head.
"What?!" I screamed.
Jasper turned to me, anger the only emotion in his handsome face.
"Alice tried to kiss me when we were hunting, too. She gave me this whole spiel about her not being in her right mind when she slept with Edward. She said she was blind when she succumbed under Edward's charm and now she wanted me back. I almost fell for it," his voice was strained, "But I could never do that to you. I realize that whatever shred of feeling I still had for Alice will never be as important to me as the feelings I have for you."
So that was what her vision was. She wanted to sabotage Jasper and my relationship because she was selfish enough to want to hog two men. Edward wanted me for himself too. If this wasn't the most absurd thing I've ever heard in my life, I don't know what is. I felt the numbing anger at my fingertips again.
"I know you would have kissed me! I saw it! I knew you would fall for it! How could you two not? Our plan was foolproof. If I didn't want you anymore, no one else can. If Edward didn't want Bella anymore, no one else can." Alice was as angry as Jasper. Each strand of her spiky black hair were like daggers, dangerous and deadly
"Too bad you underestimated the depth of our relationship. Both of us aren't afraid to love. To commit." Jasper seethed, his eyes a dark shade of danger.
Carlisle, Esme, Rose and Emmett knew better than to interfere. They just watched the soap opera play out in front of their eyes.
"I was happy to take you back, pitiful, naïve Bella. But you had to betray me. How could you? I thought you loved me!" Edward had the damned nerve to even address me at this point. I glared at him. "How could you leave me? How could you do something so foolish? How could you fall for my brother?!"
"Why are you making it seem like it's my fault? It was you who cheated on me! It was you who gave up on our relationship. I was hurt and broken once before. I had given our relationship a chance before and I don't want to try it again. If you had been able to leave me once, you sure as hell are able to leave me twice, three times, four times. I don't want to always be there for you. I'm not some whore you pick up on the street for fun. I'm not your booty call, Edward! Don't turn this on me! I'm the victim here, not you!" By the end of my small monologue I was taking short gasps of air. Tears threatened to fall, fire ready to explode.
"Don't fuck with me, Bella. You of all people should know that I am your only love. If I can't have you, no one else can. Accept this and be done with it. Leave Jasper. Go live your life in solitude."
"What the fuck? Haven't I given enough for you? I had to give up my family, my friends, my life! You should at least be grateful and appreciate everything I had to go through just so I could spend eternity with you. I will not live my life in solitude for some fucking dick who doesn't even reciprocate my love for him. I did have a sliver of love for you about an hour ago but right now all I can feel is that I absolutely abhor you. I am disgusted with myself for even loving you once. I am angry with myself for even giving up everything for you. I hate you with every fiber of my being."
I ignited my hand and picked up Edward by his neck, raising him up in the air. He screamed with pain.
I sent a jet of water at Alice, its current so strong it pinned her to the wall. I engulfed Alice in a ball of water, encasing her in a water prison.
"You two should know better than to fuck around with me or Jasper. I promise you if you ever come within a ten mile radius from me, or even as much as let me smell you, I will fuck you around so much that you'll beg me to just end your pitiful life. If you ever come near Jasper or me, I will personally take you to find Hades. Under-fucking-stood?"
The water burned Alice like liquid cyanide, but through her pain, she managed to nod. Edward merely scoffed, "You'll never be able to stay away from me, Bella. I'll haunt you in your dreams."
I tightened my grip around his neck, increasing the intensity of the fire. I let go of Alice, the water prison immediately shattering into a million droplets of water onto the lush carpet. I used my now free hand to twist Edward's hand behind his back. I have given up on him entirely—given up on trying to find the old, magnificent, loving, Edward—and I did not mind hurting him, if only that meant he could feel however minimal fraction of the hurt he had caused me. I set my hand on fire, eating into his wrist. "Say yes, Edward."
"Fuck you."
I twisted his arm, almost popping it out of his socket. I increased the intensity of the fire on my hands, feeling his venom throb angrily against his alabaster skin.
"Fuck! Fine! I get it!"
I let go of him, picking them both up and chucking them through the window. Jasper came up behind me, "You have no idea how amazing you are. I don't know how it's even possible, but I think I just fell a little more in love with you."
Edward sprinted into the woods, not even caring if Alice was following him. Alice let out a dry sob and ran right after him.
Carlisle, Esme, Rose and Emmett had gathered behind me too.
"Good job, lil sis." Emmett placed his large hands on my shoulder.
Rosalie hugged me from behind, "You did well, Bella. I am so proud of you." I could hear the emotions in her voice. I turned around and hugged her as hard as I could.
"Thank you Rosalie, for everything. For standing by me thick and thin. For supporting me. For…everything."
I let go of Rosalie and stared intently into her golden eyes, using my earth power to conjure up a beautiful burgundy red rose.
"For you." Rosalie dry sobbed, and accepted my rose with a kiss on my cheek.
I turned to Carlisle and Esme.
"Carlisle, I can barely tell you how sorry I am. I caused you to lose your first friend, your first companion. Esme, I'm sorry you lost your son. I…I'm sorry for causing your family so much trouble." I hung my head low, ready to take on whatever consequences my actions have caused.
"You did the right thing, love." Esme held me in her arms, conveying love in every cell of her arms. Carlisle patted me on my shoulder.
"You did the right thing. I would never take him as my son. I would never allow someone as wicked as him to even live under the same roof as me or my beloved children."
I smiled, allowing myself and the family to marinate in sweet silence of a victorious battle. I conjured up a bundle of exotic orchids, handing them to Esme, enveloping her in a hug.
"Thank you."
I took Jasper's hands in mine, pressing them to my chest.
"Jasper, you know me better than anyone else. You understand my every need even before I can register them. You are my other half. My life now orbits around yours. I love you, so, so much. I'm sorry for doubting you, for thinking of kissing Edward even for only a split second. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. My heart beats for you. My cold dead heart beats for you, Jasper."
--
I left the house to go to our meadow. I told Jasper that I'm fine and that I needed time alone to think. He smiled sadly but let me go nonetheless.
I stood in our meadow, attacked by the tsunamis of memories that came rushing at me. I sat down on the lush grass, leafing through photographs of Edward and I, listening to that CD. Every piece of Edward I held in my hands. I took one last look at these memories. I threw these memories into the center of the meadow.
I did not feel the slightest stir of love within me, what I felt didn't even come close. I only felt anger and hatred.
I lit our meadow on fire.
Closure.
I breathed a sigh of relief, ready to spend my forever with the man I know I deserve and love.
A/N: Please review!! Reviews motivate me! I don't know if I'll be updating much if I don't get more reviews, so please! PLEASE! PLEAAAAASE review! Tell your friends about this! Tell everyone about this!!