Disclaimer: If you recognize anything it probably is not ours. The songs are fun, but we do not own them. (Well, Wanta Bunta was modified from Wanta Fanta). Please review and flames will be used to toast marshmallows!

Chapter Three: Burn, Baby, Burn

Takashi, David, Bunta, Atobe, Horio, Tomoka, and Sakuno were all sitting at the tennis courts, bored out of their minds. So, naturally, they decided to play a game of tennis. Takashi and David against Bunta and Atobe, with Sakuno as the ref (is that what they're called?) and Tomoka and Horio as the cheerleaders. They got their rackets and stepped onto the court. Takashi turned to David.

"Don't ya wanta wanta Bunta? Don't ya wanta wanta Bunta? Don't ya wanta-" he sang. David tried to keep a straight face.

"No." he said, glancing at Bunta and grinning evilly. Bunta scowled. Then he started to sing Burn, Baby, Burn while shaking his hips tauntingly.

"Ooo, theme songs!" Tomoka squealed while jumping up and down. "Let's think of one for Atobe!"

"And David!" added Horio. Everyone stared at them then began backing away. Soon the disturbing kids were arguing over theme songs.

"Yes, finally! Ore-sama gets a theme song!" Atobe gloated. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"CHEER OFF!" Tomoka shouted at the top of her lungs.

In America, some random Americans (coughtheauthorscough) were clamping their hands over their ears.

"We'll just be going now…" Atobe said, they turned on their heels and ran away. Far away…

"OMFM! (Oh my fucking Merlin) A Japanese cheer off! Oh, the pain! Woe is chocolate!" agonized the random Americans. Okay, back to Japan! The two creepy cheering kids were exhausted once Takashi, David, Bunta, Atobe, and Sakuno came back.

"Aw, it's over?" Atobe asked with a frown. Takashi stared.

"Wait, I thought you didn't want to watch…" he said with a confused look on his face. Atobe gasped.

"No! Ore-sama just went to get some refreshments!" he said. "You guys just followed ore-sama assuming that we weren't coming back!" he added in an annoying tone.

"Oh, Atobe! We did agree on a theme song for you!" Horio said ecstatically. Atobe's eyebrows rose.

"Really, what?!" he asked loudly and happily. Tomoka smiled.

"You're So Vain." she replied. Then they all burst into said song.

You walked into the party
Like you were walking onto a yacht
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye
Your scarf it was apricot
You had one eye in the mirror
As you watched yourself gavotte
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner
They'd be your partner, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Well, I hear you went up to Saratoga
And your horse naturally won
Then you flew your Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend
Wife of a close friend, and

You're so vain
You probably think this song is about you
You're so vain
I'll bet you think this song is about you
Don't you? Don't you?

Ryoma, who wanted to see if anyone was up to a game, quickly turned around. Merlin, they were scary! Besides, even if he didn't care about their actions, their singing was making his ears bleed. Yeah, it was that bad.

After finishing their song, the group collapsed in a huge pile on the tennis court.

"Hey, do you guys wanna play 'I never'?" Bunta randomly asked.

"Sure." Atobe answered, "What do you think Day-vi-day?"

"It's David!" The random British-Scientist-Wizard yelled, "Day-vid. Get it through your head. D-A-V-I-D spells DAY-VID!"

"Yo, dude, chill." David mediated.

"Wanna play 'I never' with us?"

The British-Scientist-Wizard, who we may or may not ever explain who he is or mention his name, turned to look at the obnoxiously loud girl who just asked him the question. He glanced around at the odd group of tennis players/spectators and shrugged. The British-Scientist-Wizard pulled out a huge bottle of brandy and sat down in the circle.

"Okay, ore-sama will go first," Atobe started, "I've never raped a little boy."

Orochimaru, who randomly joined the scene, took a sip and mumbled the word 'Sasuke' in response to their questioning gazes, then disappeared. (Don't worry, that will all be explained next chapter.)

"Erm, right… Anyways! I never kissed a boy." Sakuno said.

Everyone but Sakuno drank from their cups.

"Okay, I can understand Atobe, Bunta, and random British-Scientist-Wizard, can sort of understand David and Takashi," here, Tomoka turned to look at Horio, "but what person in their right mind would ever even consider kissing you?"

"Um, well, I got Momo drunk and, well…"

"Ah! The raging hormones!!" Momo screamed and fell over. Everyone stared. The random British-Scientist-Wizard started to laugh, but the also seemed to be a bit tipsy already.

"I've never gotten drunk, flew to Las Vegas, married a random person, and divorced them the next morning only after stealing their stuff" The British-Scientist-Wizard said and then disappeared with a 'BANG!'. They all looked at each other for a while until David tentatively raised his glass and drank.

"No way!?" They chorused, disbelief etched on their faces.

"What did you steal?" Takashi asked. David smiled.

"Everything…even his virginity." he replied. Bane marched up to David and kicked him in the face.

"How could you do that to me?!?!" he yelled at David, his eyes filling up with tears. (Oooo, soap opera!)

"Okay…let's stop this drama. I've never, um, been in a fivesome," Bunta chirped

Atobe took a gulp. Everyone stared.

"Well, ore-sama's in a relationship with-"

"Let me guess," Takashi cut in, "Tezuka, Ryoma, Fuji, and Sanada."

"How d'jew know?"

"The internet is littered with that pairing."

"Oh, that explains it."

"Yep."

Awkward silence.

"So, should we continue?" Bunta asked, looking devious. Everyone shot up and ran away. The sound of crickets chirping echoed around Bunta.

Was it good? Huh? Review please!