Thank you everyone for the feedback. I think this is the first multi-chapter story that I'm actually going to finish!

Flashbacks are in italics.

I sat on the edge of the bed in the fairly cheap hotel that Kelso had provided. Usually the first thing I'd do would be to find somewhere classier, but I'd spent so long driving around aimlessly before I got here, there wasn't any time. I wasn't sure what to do about Newbie. I was pretty certain that he wanted me to leave. Sure, he'd said as much earlier that evening, but I meant that he wasn't just saying he wanted me to leave to keep up an act or something. I still had no idea how much of what he'd said had been for real. I was awful at dealing with emotions so I had no idea if I should be giving him space right now or forcing him to spend time with me or what. I would have to phone Carla and ask her about it. But first, I wanted to call Jordan and…talk. I had no idea where the impulse came from, but I guess I just wanted to talk about JD to someone who didn't really care. I picked up the phone and dialled my home phone number.

"Hello?" Jordan answered slightly groggily. I hoped to God I hadn't woken her, or else there'd be hell to pay.

"Hi Jordan." I greeted.

"Perry?" She sounded almost surprised.

"Yeah…"

"Is everything ok?" I smiled despite myself. Even though Jordan and I had the whole mutual 'hatred' thing going for us, she really did know me. She could tell in an instant if something was wrong.

"It's been better." I gave a short, bitter chuckle. "Look, first off, I wanted to let you know that I might be here longer than I'd intended, so I might need you to get me some extra time off." She gasped.

"Oh God, did you actually go to the conference and decide that you liked it so much you wanted to do it all over again?" I laughed.

"It was tempting. The canapés were delightfully crappy this year." She laughed.

"Seriously though, Per, what's wrong?"

"You remember all Newbie's little friends were constantly fretting about him not liking them anymore?"

"Yeah…"

"Well they were right. Sort of." She must've recognised the seriousness and concern evident in my voice because for once she didn't give sharp retort.

"Is DJ ok?" I sighed.

"He's…" I searched for the right word to describe it. "Broken. Jordan, he's turned into me, only worse."

"Worse than you? Is that even possible?" I chuckled bitterly. That's exactly what I'd always thought.

"Apparently so." I sighed. "I'd always told myself that I'd do everything I could to stop him becoming like me. I've always tried to discourage his hero-worship slash mentor thing." Jordan snorted. I ignored her. "He's just so…" I trailed off. She would understand.

"Yeah, I know." She said quietly.

"I know it sounds sappy, but now that I'm here, I've realised that I actually have missed him this year." I was met with silence for a few moments before Jordan burst out laughing.

"You're such a wuss!" She managed to stop laughing.

"Yeah, I know." I muttered.

"Don't worry about it. I mean I barely know him, and I missed him a bit." I rolled my eyes.

"No you didn't." She laughed again.

"Well, no, but I get why you did. He followed you everywhere for over three years. I mean I know you were trying to persuade everyone that you hated him, but I think he was the only one that believed you." I shrugged. He didn't really believe that I hated him. At least, I hoped not. "He's a good kid." I smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, he is." Crying started up in the background.

"Listen, Per, I've got to go. Jack's woken up. I'll speak to you soon."

"Sure. Bye." I ended the call and stared at the phone. Jordan had been a lot more supportive than I'd expected. Maybe she had actually missed Newbie. Which reminded me, I was going to call Carla. I'd dialled half her number before I hesitated. I couldn't ask for her… I could barely say it… help without her finding out about Newbie, and I didn't think that would be helpful. She'd run off and tell everyone, then they'd all come here and try to 'fix' him and it would all end in tears, probably theirs, and of course they'd all undoubtedly blame me. I cancelled the number. I was just going to have to figure this out alone.

I looked at my watch for the tenth time in the last half hour. Newbie was late. He was supposed to have been here over an hour ago. And of course, I was obligated to wait for him so I could yell at him, call him a girl's name and generally make him feel bad about himself. I was a bit curious about why he was so late, but now I was just angry! What right did he have to come to work at his own leisure, when I'd been here since half an hour before my shift started. I looked up as the door opened.

If I hadn't been so mad, I might have noticed that his normally styled hair was flat and hanging down over his forehead, that his skin was almost white and that his eyes were red. But I was, so I didn't. I gave him my trademark whistle.

"Melissa! Just what the hell do you think you're doing? You do realise you were supposed to be here more than an hour ago? I know, I know, it's probably not that important. I mean it's not like anyone could've died… Now hang on a second, aren't you supposed to be, and yes, I said 'supposed to be', because frankly, it's debatable that you actually are, a doctor? Well gosh darn it, that means that in the hour you were elsewhere, someone could have died, because you were too damn busy to come into this hellhole and do something at least mildly useful, like not killing people. Now yes, I know, you and your gal-pal stayed up past your bedtime last night because you were just so busy painting your pretty little toenails, but I re-he-heally couldn't care less. So now to make it up to you, me and your patients, get your pathetic, scrawny ass to work." I stood frowning at him, waiting for him to run away and then, inevitably, fall down. Instead, he stared blankly at me. I whistled again. "Sheila, were you listening to me at all just now?" And then he said two words. Two words that I hadn't expected to hear in a million years.

"Dan's dead." His voice was quiet and hoarse, and I almost didn't hear him. I stood staring at him. I didn't know what to say. I blinked. He turned around and walked right back out of the hospital. After a second, I ran after him, knowing that I had to do something.

As I caught up to him, I heard him muttering to himself.

"…shouldn't have come here…a mistake…should've listened to Carla…taken the day off."

"Newbie!" I grabbed his arm before he could reach his scooter and turned him around to face me. "Newbie, I…" I trailed off. Dammit! I still didn't know what to say. He shook his head.

"Forget it. I know you're not good at this. Besides, I don't wanna get punched in the face again." I flinched slightly. That was definitely not something I was proud of.

"Look…I'm sorry…" He waved what I was saying away. I frowned. He'd only found out this morning. Why was he suddenly acting like he was ok with it? "Seriously. Don't worry about it. I'm not."

I could have killed him. Wasn't I proof enough that you shouldn't ignore your emotions? If he didn't get through this now, would he ever? Well to Hell with it, it wasn't my problem. He was on his own.

"Fine." I muttered, and turned back inside the hospital.