Caught! Chapter 2: Lula explains
By Annie
"Lula! You got some 'splainin to do!!" I'm in full rhino mode now. Hands on hips, feet braced shoulder width apart, head swiveling back and forth. Oh yeah I got my rhino on.
"Oh no, you skinny ass white girl, you are NOT pulling that on me." Lula stands up and takes her own rhino pose.
"What the hell were you thinking you drippy donkey dick?!"
Lula's shoulders straightened at this. "I'll tell you what I was thinking, you arse-licking stumpy, I was thinking of the donuts!"
"Now listen here you raving Poop-stabber, this is my grandmother we are talking about her. She's more important than donuts!" Yeah, beat that one!
"Your granny did the crime, you sock devouring Crack-head! I was helping her!! Don't you get that? You are just mad because I didn't tell you about it!" Well ok, so she's got me there.
"Yup, you're right you bovine toe sucker, you should have told me!"
Lula paused. A look passed over her face, an indescribable look. Yes! Took the wind right out of her sails.
"What's a bovine?" Ok so that wasn't what I was expecting her to say.
"A cow." Thanks Connie, I wasn't sure what it was either. Wait a cow?
"Cow's have toes?" Complete silence. Wait, there it is. The giggle, snort. Oh, guess Vinnie's back with us.
"That's besides the point. How could I have not known Grandma was arrested? Never mind the fact that all of you knew, but how in the world did the Burg grapevine not pick up on this one?"
"I don't know, but I bet now that you are involved they'll find out right quick." Thanks for the vote of confidence there Lula. Real pal you are.
Ok, so I guess she's taken the wind right out of MY sails now. I look down at the cursed file, that I can't seem to get rid of. This calls for a plan. And backup. Serious backup. No, better yet, reinforcements. Lots of reinforcements. Time to call in the big cheese. Yeah that should work.
I grab my bag and pull out my cell phone as I head out the door. Just before I push the send button I turn back to a relieved looking Lula. Whoops, let your guard down just a little too soon there sparky.
"And by the way, this is far from over." With that I head out into the sunset. I have a favor to call in.