Caught! Chapter 5: Plan A abort!
By Annie
Ok, Steph. You can do this. You've taken down plenty of skips before. This is just one more skip. See, no problem. Yeah, except that this is Grandma. My Grandma. Mazur. Yikes!
Ok, this isn't helping. Where's Ranger with his "Go get 'em, Tiger" when you need him? Oh yeah, in the wind. Lotta help that is. Where was I? Oh yeah, now I remember. Pep talk.
You can do this Steph. No big deal. Just go in and offer her a ride to the afternoon viewing. That's it. See nothing to it. Damn, still not working. I turn to Tank with big puppy dog eyes. Guess the ESP is working today because he knows exactly what I need to hear.
"Go get 'em, Tiger." Yeah, now I'm ready. Let's get this show on the road.
The guys all load up and head out to Vinnie's to get into place. Personally, I think they have the easy job. Oh boy, this is going to be fun.
I swear time speeds up as I drive over to my parents house in the Burg. I was just hoping that Grandma really did forget her court date, and wasn't expecting me. That could be really bad. Really, really bad.
When I pull up in front of the house my Grandma is standing at the door waiting for me. Huh, well that's normal. Ya know, the Burg radar and all. But usually Mom is standing there with her. Today Mom was MIA. That's not normal. OooO, the tingle's back.
I get out of the car, moving as slowly as possible. What? I was trying to delay the inevitable. The three D's, when denial won't work, try distraction. As a last resort, use delay.
I didn't even make it to the porch steps before Grandma attacks. "You'll never take me alive you dog humping roly-poly!" Ahhh shit. Busted. Hey, what's that in her hand? Is that? Yes it is. Silly string. Damn, she's playing hard ball. Time to use my splendiferous negotiating tactics.
"Now Grandma, you don't want to do anything drastic here. I just came over to visit before I headed to Stiva's. Thought maybe you might want to go with me. Probably you should put down the can now. Just a friendly visit is all." Uh-oh. This isn't good.
"Come one step closer and the cake gets it!" Shit, Lula's right, Grandma does play dirty. Threatening a Pineapple Upside down cake with silly string. That is just cruel. I am so not going to take this lying down!
"GRANDMA!! What did that cake ever do to you? I'm telling you right now, you don't want to do that." I'm still inching towards the steps, and she's noticed this. I'm almost there…
"Fine! I'll get you instead." And she aims at me and starts spraying. AHHHHHHH!! I turn tail and haul ass out of there. What did you expect? I've managed to stay clean for a week straight. I'm not taking any chances. I've got a record going on here!
I jump in the car and burn rubber. Picking up my cell, I call Tank on my way to Vinnie's.
"Plan A aborted. We'll have to go with Plan B." Hehe.