II. Sidelonging
Every night was a party, and by now Cindy was a little relieved that she was nearing the end of presenting herself each evening. She had been to the Kentucky Derby Museum Gala opening day, the Festival di Cavalli and the Moonlight and Magnolia Derby Gala over the past week, and now she stood in the Medallion Ballroom of her hotel, the Seelbach Hilton, for the Derby Eve Gala.
This evening Cindy had been getting more attention that she personally thought she deserved with Hansea's win in the Kentucky Oaks. There were more autographs to sign than usual, which was rather rare for Cindy in the first place, and more attention put on her for the Kentucky Derby. There was some sort of ridiculous idea that the winning Oaks jockey might be able to stretch a lucky streak into the Derby. Cindy had been rather dismissive of all the questions that asked her how she thought Honor and Glory faired against the boys in the greatest race in the world. The filly would race, yes, but Cindy couldn't see into the future.
Cindy sat at her deserted table, calmly sipping a drink and watching people dance. For the past few minutes she had been left alone, and she was grateful for that.
"What are you doing all by yourself?" Cindy heard her cousin ask, accompanied by the scrape of a chair over wood and a rustle of silk.
"Just taking a break, Jo," Cindy said, turning around and looking at her cousin, all clad in burgundy silk with her dark blond hair swept up off her neck.
"There's no such thing as taking a break," Josie laughed. "This is Derby Eve," Josie reminded her, "It's almost as good as Christmas."
"That's the overstatement of the century," Cindy chuckled, rolling her eyes.
"Come on," Josie urged. "I just met this wonderful guy, but since I'm engaged and all I decided you can have him."
Cindy glanced at the recently bestowed ring on Josie's finger and winced, shaking her head. "I don't think so, Jo."
"Come on," Josie persisted. "He's really great. British and everything."
"British?" Cindy rose and eyebrow.
"Tall and blond," Josie reacted quickly. "Just your type."
"I don't think you know what my type is," Cindy countered, getting a slow dazzling smile from Josie in response.
"Oh, shut up," Cindy sighed, standing. "Point me in the right direction."
"I'll do the introductions," Josie laughed, her bright eyes glinting mischievously as she jumped up and grabbed Cindy's wrist, hauling her across the ballroom.
It wasn't easy pushing through the sea of people and winding through the tabletops. It seemed that once you started to move you were spotted, and therefore were obligated to stop and talk with every group of people that recognized you. Cindy and Josie were tugged into two conversations before they hit Ashleigh, Mike, Anne, and Jason, who weren't deeply entrenched enough in their conversation with a few other trainers to not notice Josie and Cindy plowing by.
"Josie," Anne called, and, after seeing whom she was pulling behind her: "Cindy!"
Josie paused in her mad dash to deposit Cindy with whom she was calling "the amazingly gorgeous Brit," and before both women knew what had happened they were engulfed by the group and thrown both feet first into their conversation.
"Nice showing in the Oaks," Cindy was being told. "That was some race."
"The filly did most of it," Cindy replied politely. "I was just along for the ride."
"Some filly," another of the trainers laughed over his drink.
"Quite," Ashleigh added, focusing her hazel gaze on Cindy with something of a scrutinizing air.
"The ride was rougher than I would like, but it got results."
Cindy blinked, turning her head swiftly to take in all of Ashleigh. There was no way she was about to ask her former mentor what she meant in front of a group of people that very clearly understood her meaning. Instead of acting as offended as she felt, Cindy breathed and smiled softly at Ashleigh.
"The filly came back fit and sound," Cindy responded as she tried to mask her rising anger at Ashleigh's blank stare. "That's what matters."
Ashleigh didn't respond so Cindy excused herself, walking briskly away from the group with Josie hot on her heels.
"Cin, where are you going?" Josie asked, catching up with her as they reached the large foyer.
"I think I'm not up for meeting 'the amazingly gorgeous Brit' right now, Jo," Cindy told her cousin. "In fact, I'm pretty tired."
"Cin, she didn't mean anything by it," Josie tried to reason with her.
"Jo, according to everyone around her she never really means anything by it," Cindy replied, clearly not accepting the excuse people used to mask Ashleigh's discomfort with her. "I'm just not going to buy that anymore."
"Cindy, please stay," Josie sighed. "I can't say anything more about you and Ashleigh. This is something that I'm clearly not a part of."
"I need to go," Cindy shook her head. "I'm not one for these galas anyway."
"Oh, come on," Josie laughed, but Cindy shook her head.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Jo," Cindy remained steadfast, turning quickly and walking through the crowded foyer, stopping by the elevators and punching the up button. It took a few moments for the elevator to descend down to her floor. Cindy crossed her arms over her chest, looking down at her black shoes as she waited. When she heard the ping and the scuffling sound of the elevator doors opening, Cindy walked forward without looking up, running into a body she hadn't expected.
"Cin!"
Blinking, Cindy stumbled back a few steps and found Laura Parker, her roommate in New York as well as during the Derby, and Ryan Lockridge, Laura's long-term ex-boyfriend and trainer on the West Coast.
"Laura?" Cindy asked, looking back and forth at the two of them. "Where have you been?"
"Upstairs," Laura said after a beat, getting a slow raise of one eyebrow from Cindy in response.
"Where are you going?"
"Upstairs," Cindy answered. She couldn't resist saying the next part: "Seems like we missed each other just in time."
"Thanks, Cin," Ryan smiled at her, knowing full well her meaning.
"It's a lighthearted night," Cindy let herself grin. "Glad to see you two are enjoying it."
"Okay, you're going to get it when I come back upstairs," Laura pointed at her. Cindy only smiled and waved them away, walking into the empty elevator and hitting the right button. She leaned against the elevator wall and watched the numbers light up above the door as the box moved up. As soon as the doors opened at her floor, Cindy walked quickly down the hallway, pulling the keycard out of her small purse that hung over her shoulder.
As soon as she slid the plastic card into the lock, she heard another door open and sighed.
"Don't say anything, please," Cindy said, already anticipating what he was going to say.
"So what are my options, then?" Jack asked, closing the door behind him and looking at her.
Cindy knew that at some point she wasn't going to like Jack's room being right next to hers. He had this uncanny ability to run into her when she didn't want to be found.
"Nothing," Cindy stated, widening her eyes at him for emphasis before she opened her door and walked inside. Jack ambled in after her, getting one of Cindy's infuriated silent glares that she threw at him over her shoulder on her way into the main room. He only smiled.
The hotel room was a ridiculously extravagant, two-bedroom suite. In the living area was a sofa and a set of armchairs positioned around an oval coffee table. Large, ivory draped windows let in the light of Louisville into the dark room.
Cindy turned on one of the lamps and kicked off her shoes, ignoring Jack as he walked to the end of the hallway and leaned against the wall, watching her pull the pins out of her hair. Tilting her head just slightly, Cindy could see him out of the corner of her eye and she bit her lip to keep from blushing at what this scene looked like.
"So what's your business, Jack?" Cindy asked, shaking off the shivers that had been spiking up her spine seconds ago. "Don't you want to be downstairs?"
"I'm done with business for the night, Cin," Jack told her, getting a raised eyebrow from Cindy.
"Come on," she laughed, walking into her room to change. "It's somewhat fun down there," she called louder as she unzipped the black dress and let it pool around her feet.
"It's all business," she heard him call back, and she smirked at that as she changed into sweat pants and a camisole.
Leaving the dress in a heap on the floor, Cindy walked back out into the living area, padding over the thick carpet with bare feet. She found Jack casually lying on the sofa with the television tuned to ESPN. His sports coat was discarded over the arm of the sofa, his dress shoes lying haphazardly near the coffee table. He laid there like he was setting up to be there for a while -- dark brown hair already tousled out of whatever order it had been just two minutes ago, white shirt sleeves rolled up, legs crossed at the ankle.
Cindy put her hands on her hips and frowned.
"Are you comfortable?" she asked with a hint of sarcasm that he picked up and responded to like he always did.
"Abso-fucking-lutely," he tossed back, getting one of those muffled groans that Cindy specialized in.
"Sarah's going to start wondering where the hell you go," Cindy told him, walking to the armchair and falling onto it. Normally she would have jumped onto the sofa and shoved his legs out of the way, but that had been a while ago and much had changed since then.
"Angel," Jack laughed, using his newer nickname for her that he found quite ironically appropriate, which killed Cindy. "Sarah doesn't care, and you know that much."
Cindy rolled her eyes, tucking her legs under her and crossing her arms over her chest as she observed him. Sarah and Jack hadn't lasted as long as most would have predicted. Things had come to a raw stop for them in March, and Cindy still wasn't very sure where they all stood barely two months later.
Eight months ago, Cindy barely saw Jack let alone spoke to him. When they did find themselves in each other's presence, things were noticeably different. Things had been awkward and quiet with an underlying current of…something. Cindy didn't put her finger on it and mostly because she hadn't wanted to acknowledge it was there in the first place.
Seven and six months ago things were barely different, but a little more relaxed. They smiled, they talked more, they did nothing outside of work. Cindy became used to this change and gradual slipping into different terms with Jack.
Five and four months ago they were starting to forget on the surface, letting time finally chip away at the memories. Three months ago they began to work with Halcyon, Savage Girl's two-year-old colt, all hands on and working like they had years ago. Two months and things were starting to slip further away. More time was spent with Halcyon at Owl Hollow, less at Aqueduct as Hansea trained. They had fallen back into seemingly old routine, although there was always a hint of...something. Neither could place the difference, but they both knew its source.
Then came the mutual end of Jack and Sarah's relationship. Mid-March, just when the air was showing hints of warmth. Cindy refused to acknowledge it was her that caused it this time. Even though she wondered if everyone else thought she was kidding herself.
"So why are you up here?" Cindy asked, always asking the blunt questions.
He laughed. "Same reasons you are, okay?"
"I'm not trying to avoid Sarah," Cindy replied with a smile.
"No, but I can think of another certain individual," he shot back at her, making Cindy roll her eyes.
"Fine," Cindy shrugged. "I guess that makes us two cowards, huh?"
There was a moment of silence then, the television still channeling the exuberant voices of Sportscenter anchors about things Cindy rarely paid attention to. She watched Jack as he frowned and worked a hand through his dark hair before turning his blue eyes onto her.
"Yeah, Cin," he nodded slightly, turning back to the television. "I suppose it does."
They didn't say another word then, sitting together silently in the television's flickering blue glow.