"Hey Ryan, we missed you yesterday!" I hear someone call when I walk into school. Yeah, right. I roll my eyes and carry on walking to my locker, my eyes focused on the locker.
"Ryan, are you ignoring us?" somebody else asks, and I reluctantly spin around on my heel to face them. They're all in this group – mob – staring straight at me. Obviously, Troy and Gabriella are right at the front of the group. For a brief moment, I wonder where Sharpay is, but I should know better, of course. She'd rather try cementing the lead part in the production than see me and talk to me. Her own twin brother.
"I'm ignoring you?" I ask in disbelief, my voice trembling as I try not to let my feelings get the better of me.
"Ryan," Gabriella tries placing a comforting hand on my shoulder, but I wriggle out of her grasp.
"No! Don't 'Ryan' me! Look, just…Just go and hang around with Sharpay, seeing as she's the perfect twin and I'm obviously not."
"Ry, come on, don't be stupid," Chad tries to calm me down, but I can't listen to reason. My feelings have just been building up over time and now they're too strong to contain and control.
"And now I'm stupid?" I glare at everybody. "Danforth, you were my friend, you know? What is going on around here?" I look him directly in the eye, to make sure he can see the hurt written on my face. I want to make them feel my pain. He looks down at the floor quickly, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. A red flare begins to show on his cheeks.
"What's brought all of this on? You want to know what's going on? You tell us, Ryan, you're not acting yourself. We want to help you, but we can't until you tell us," Gabriella asks softly, finally getting through to me. She sounds so sincere, genuinely concerned for me.
"When did Sharpay suddenly become your best friend? I mean, she's the queen bee of the school. It just kind of works out that since you guys started letting her hang around with you, I got pushed out. Spoken to less. I didn't even get invited to your places after school, not properly, you know?" I sigh deeply. "Just forget it. I – I sound like some kid in a playground. Forget it, okay?"
"That was never intentional," Troy speaks up. "Why else would we be speaking to you now, wondering why you didn't come to Chad's? Worrying about you?" Yes, send me on a guilt trip, thanks, Troy.
"Sharpay," I say quickly. "Sharpay obviously doesn't want me included. She only speaks to me to scream at me, you've seen that. You know what, Gabriella, sometimes you're the only one that seems to actually care…Sorry guys. Just leave it, yeah?" I walk away briskly, ignoring any objections that they might be calling after me. It could just be all in my head for all I know, and they're not shouting after me, wanting me to stop. I wipe away the faint trickle of tears that's appeared on my cheek.
I walk into the auditorium as if on auto-pilot. I'm almost shocked when I suddenly notice the stage and the rows of empty seats before me. Barely feeling my feet moving, I cross over the aisle to the black piano, and sit down on the stool. My fingers begin pushing the keys, conjuring up a sweet melody that carries throughout the whole room. I know I'm not in control of myself. Like with playing the piano, I'm doing things without realising it - without knowing it. I can't control my feelings and I can't hide them from the rest of the world. I'm not Sharpay, I'm nothing like my sister.
As much as I try to stop myself, Sharpay and Gabriella come into my head. My fingers drive the keys more forcefully, highlighting the mixed emotions I feel. The chords my fingers strike get louder and my brow furrows further as I think of how I feel about the group I long to be a part of. I'm sitting on the outside looking in, and it's cold and painful. I'm pathetic, I know I am. Thinking about them and sitting on the sidelines watching won't get me accepted into their in-group. Nothing will.
"That's beautiful, Ryan. Did you write that?" I hear a voice. I look over to see somebody walking down the aisle toward me. A smile flickers on my face for a nanosecond.
"It was just a little…uh," I stammer. "Never mind!" If I'm honest, I have no idea what I was just playing – I was too busy wrapped in my thoughts to hear it properly.
"You sound like you have something on your mind," she says carefully, touching my arm. "I like to play the piano when something's bothering me, too. It's pretty calming, right? You can just let all your feelings out through the melody. I love it." I nod dumbly, words escaping me.
"But, it's better to talk things out when you can. So…I've got time if you want to get it off your chest?"
"We should be at homeroom," I say, a serious tone to my voice. I just want to find any excuse not to talk about things. If I unscrew the bottle that's carefully cramming in my thoughts and feelings, I'm scared I'm going to lose it. I feel vulnerable, and I hate it. I don't want people to see me in this state, when I can be crushed effortlessly.
"Correction: You should be," she grins playfully. "I'm allowed to – meant to, I guess – spend the day in here. Helping out with the musical, the songs. Did you know there's going to be a lot more student involvement this time?"
"Kels…" I mumble, ignoring the familiar lump in my throat. "You know I love you guys, don't you?" I manage to choke out.
"Of course. Why would you feel you have to ask me that?"
"How do you know?"
"I…I just do. You're a caring, special person. What's going on to make you say all of this? Ryan, this is getting weird. Scary. Please tell me what's going on?"
A/N: Again, I split this chap up so where it ends here might seem a tad strange :)