I'm doing what appears to be routine now - sitting on my bed with my head in my hands, blaring out music. I know it's only been for the past couple of days, but it feels like I've been doing that every day, for so long. I'm not even listening to my favourite songs anymore, because I feel so apathetic about most things. I just can't believe that yet again Sharpay has taken total control of something we were supposed to do together. I thought that after I'd tried to give as good as I'd got in the cafeteria, things would change with us. But no, I couldn't be anymore wrong, could I?
My computer beeps and I slowly step over to it, wondering who it is. My attitude changes when I notice it's Kelsi IM-ing me. Oops. I should have expected that rather than assuming it was going to be somebody hassling me. Kelsi doesn't deserve to be treated the way I treat everybody else. I just automatically figure that I'm going to receive some more verbal abuse, and I lump her into that category without even realising it. I'm so unfair to her, even though I feel so different when I'm around her. Being with Kelsi is both the best and worst part of my day; I feel so great when I'm around her, but then I'm always scared of messing things up. Truthfully, I don't know how to act with her. I can only guess that I'm doing it right, and being a good boyfriend.
Kelsi N says:
Hey Ry, how u doing?
Everybody loves a good jazz square! says:
Hi Kels, I'm ok, u?
Kelsi N says:
Good. :) I'm ok. How did it go with Shar?
Everybody loves a good jazz square! says:
urgh
Everybody loves a good jazz square! says:
I either have 2 play a gay or not b in it at all. She reckons she can make me director 2 keep me sweet.
Kelsi N says:
Not good :(
Kelsi N says:
:O Shar doesn't c her mistake there!!
Everybody loves a good jazz square! says:
Ty! least some1 can c it my way!
Kelsi N says:
No, Ryan, it means u will b in charge of Shar if u direct it!! U can get her back!!
Everybody loves a good jazz square! says:
I've said it b4 n I'll say it again, Kelsi u r the best!
Kelsi N says:
haha ty! I gtg now so cya 2moz! luv u x x x x x
Everybody loves a good jazz square! says:
kk cya then
I switch my computer off at the wall with a small yelp. Kelsi said "love you"...well, in text speak. The point still stands. Kelsi said "love you." I know we've only been...you know...for a couple of days. This is all new to me, I've never really had a girlfriend before. Kindergarten doesn't count...Not that I had a girlfriend there, but you know what I mean. Maybe she's just liked me for a long time. That makes me feel arrogant. Maybe she's trying to be nice. Or maybe she's just trying to freak me out! I don't know...I'll never understand girls, I don't think.