A big thanks to Darcehole for the reviews, they make me smile muchly. feeds cookies :) I apologise I was like a day slower (xD) with these, but I had the dreaded h-word from college. Yup, homework. I'll update whenever I can and try to get on here. And if I'm not, just blame the lecturers and trains! :D
Love, KJ x

I wake up, yawning widely, stretching my arms above my head. My thoughts immediately redirect to my conversation with Kelsi last night. A part of me is desperate for it to have been a dream, and for it not to be real. I sound like such a jerk...In a way, it felt nice when Kelsi said...that. But it scares me. I've never really had a relationship before now. Not even in kindergarten. No prizes for guessing where people got the rumour that I'm gay, from. And it's not like I can go to Sharpay for advice on this Kelsi thing - she's had more boyfriends than hot dinners! Sadly, I doubt I just made an exaggeration there. Love has never been a question for Sharpay, because she doesn't normally keep the same boyfriend for more than a week or two.

"Ryan! Get up or you'll be late!" Sharpay bangs on my door and I mumble in reply. Your typical morning greeting, I guess. Well, mine. Hastily I throw on some clothes and comb my hair. Not that it matters, I never leave without a hat on. I look in my full-length mirror, gazing at my reflection. I remember when me and Sharpay would constantly battle it out for the mirror, and I would love my reflection, especially if I were performing in a play. It sounds arrogant, but I used to take pride in my appearance. Now I just don't care if everything matches perfectly, if my hat is at the perfect angle. I'm not perfect. My hair is out of place, tousled, and my shirt is faintly showing the odd crease. I'm still wearing my usual variety of colours, but pink is totally eliminated from my outfit. It just makes me think of Sharpay and how she consistently hurts, ridicules and humiliates me.

I run down our staircase, almost forgetting the corner halfway down. Sharpay is standing at the bottom, hands on hips, typical steely glare. I sigh softly, walking straight past her. I don't want an argument, I hate arguing with her, so much. She's my sister. It might not feel like it but that doesn't change anything.

"Thanks a lot, Ryan!" she snaps sarcastically at the back of my head. "Leaving me while I had to try and sort out the casting, all by myself!" I turn around, my frustration evident on my face.

"You already decided the cast list," I tell her matter-of-factly.

"Because you were too busy sucking Kelsi's face off. It's disgusting, Ryan. You need to set your priorties straight here."

"Put a sock in it, Shar. I'm going to school. I don't need this," I pick up my school things and dodge past Sharpay, to the door. I just want to get away from the whole topic of Kelsi, which is the wrong thing to do, I know, but I can't think of what to do. Should I talk to Kelsi about it? Or should I just continue to bury my head in the sand about the whole subject? The latter sounds more appealing, but Kelsi will be hurt if she can say...the three little words, and I can't. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I can't differentiate between a schoolboy crush, and true love, to be honest. I'm pathetic - the most I know about love is from being in the drama club.

I walk through the main entrance of East High, making a beeline for my locker. I ignore any glances thrown at me, and keep my eyes fixed on my locker. My cheeks flame red and I can feel them burning up. Why must everything feel like such a challenge? My eyes lower to the tiled corridor as my face turns even redder, if it's possible. I just want to open my locker and shove my head inside it for the whole time at school.

I snap out of my thoughts and urges to try hiding in my locker when I feel an arm around my waist. I smile broadly but my eyes widen a touch in the shock and the understanding of some of the thoughts in my nutty head. I don't want to be around Kelsi, until I figure out what I'm wondering about us and how I actually feel. It's impossible though, I'm cornered.

"Hey you," I drape my arm over her shoulders and she snuggles in to me. "How you doing?"

"A lot better now," she grins. "Have you told Sharpay yet about accepting the director job?"

"Nope. She probably reckons I'm still thinking about it. Have you told Darbus about me helping you out in the auditorium the other day, and that? I mean, the lower the risk of getting a detention, the happier I am."

"On my way to. I thought it might be more convincing if you came to back me up."

"Cool...Sounds good. I don't think we should act all...lovey-dovey in front of her. She might get the wrong idea," I think quickly, impressed with myself. Kelsi nods and smiles, accepting my 'reasoning'. "Okay. Let's go talk to her then." I walk toward the staff room, but Kelsi tugs on my hand, pulling me back toward her. She plants her lips on mine, and I bend slightly to reciprocate the kiss. A few people whistle at us, but I don't care. I barely notice. I'm too busy trying to ignore the alarm bells ringing in my head. This is making me feel even more confused. I enjoy being with Kelsi, and I enjoy kissing her and all, but I can't stop thinking about when we IM'ed each other last night. This is so stupid; it's not even funny.

"Now we're good to go," she laughs when we pull apart. I study her face for a few seconds, careful to look away before it gets weird. She looks so happy, truly happy, I mean. I know she's not acting, and she's genuinely into me. I'm into her, but I can't organise all of the thoughts in my mind, and it's threatening to spoil everything between us.

"Sweet," I murmur, putting my arm around her shoulders again. She slips an arm around my waist as before, squeezing me gently. I knock on the staff room door, quickly detangling myself from Kelsi. Ms Darbus opens the door, with a polite but friendly smile.

"Ryan, Kelsi. What can I do for you?" she asks us brightly. I must say, Darbus is the teacher I get on with most, if I had to choose. I guess I'm just more used to her, since I have her for homeroom, and I'm in the drama club. I look expectantly at Kelsi, not really knowing what to say. I guess I'm relying on her to have the argument in the bag.

"Well, I was wondering if Ryan could help me out in the auditorium? Sharpay's pretty much decided on the songs and everything, and I figured, Ryan could get the choreography down quite quickly. I hope it's not a problem. You've seen Ryan's report card, and he's not failing any classes. Sharpay could give him any homework from classes so he won't miss out," Kelsi babbles, making her sentences sound merged together.

"That should be fine. I'll have a word with his teachers to finalise it, but it shouldn't be a problem at all," we both grin simultaneously. "That reminds me, do you have the key?"

"I got it," I produce the key from my pocket.

"Good, good," Darbus nods. "I shan't keep you both from the musical." I thank her, flashing a grin, trying not to laugh from how relieved and happy I feel.

"You just saved my life," I turn to Kelsi, wrapping my arms around her, softly kissing her cheek. A confused look flitters on her face but she nestles into me, her head resting against my chest.