Look After You
The doorbell rang while Vala was elbows deep in soapy water in the kitchen. She cursed quietly and reached for a dish towel to dry her hands on.
The sound came again as she started to make her way to the door. Vala had to stop the automatic 'i'm coming' from coming past her lips as her gaze fell on the two sleeping on the couch. She couldn't help trailing her hand over Daniel's hair as she passed. He stirred a little at the touch, but didn't wake up.
Towel in her other hand, Vala pulled open the front door. Her mouth twitched in a curious smirk. "Oh hello."
A pair of guilty brown eyes stared back at her. "Hey."
Vala leaned on the doorframe and stared at him. "I was wondering how long it was going to take - though I am a little curious how you found my house."
"Sam finally told me she'd been in touch with him." Jack sighed, sticking his hands in the pockets of his jeans anxiously. It was torture taking the look she was giving him because he knew she had more power over him, at least when it came to Daniel. "Is he here?"
She threw a quick look over her shoulder, smiling. "Yeah..." Grey eyes turned back to Jack. "Come on in." Vala stepped aside so Jack could move inside.
Nervously, Jack rocked on his heals. "So where is-" He stopped as Vala put a silencing finger to her lips.
The finger then pointed towards the couch. Frowning slightly, Jack followed her as she stepped up to the piece of furniture. His eyebrows shot up a little at the sight of his younger friend fast asleep with Vala's daughter. The little girl was curled comfortably in towards his chest, her thumb in her mouth while the other hand lightly clung to Daniel's. He had his free arm securely wrapped around her tiny body, and he had his lips resting in her hair.
Vala noted Jack's reaction with a soft smile. Obviously he hadn't expected to find this when he'd come over. "Come on..." She tilted her head towards the kitchen as he looked at her following the whispered words. Whether it was out of guilt for what he'd done, or respect for the two sleeping on the couch, Jack followed.
"Hayden's been sick the past few days." Vala noted as Jack continued to stare at the couch. "She's got strep throat." That brought his attention to her. She shrugged. "Daniel's spent every moment of free time he's had with her, taking care of her and trying to make her feel better." Vala laughed gently. "Of course he's never dealt with a sick little girl before, but he's doing really well in my opinion."
Jack took a seat in one of the kitchen chairs. "And does it bother you that he's not having any alone time with you?"
She met his gaze flawlessly, knowing he was probing for answers. "Why would it bother me? I've been doing this for five years, practically on my own, and now there's someone here who is willingly helping me take care of her." Vala looked to the couch. "I don't ask him to do any of it - Daniel just does."
Her grey eyes turned on him with such intensity. "She loves him - that would never bother me."
"I really need to talk to him..." Jack said urgently, not ready just yet to be hearing those words from a woman he barely knew.
Vala nodded. She'd made her opinion known to him, and that's all she could really do to help Daniel's case. "Okay." She moved back over to the couch, Jack standing back a little from her. Vala gently patted the part of Daniel's jean-clad butt that was open to her. "Daniel."
He shifted at her touch.
"Wake up, babe." She hit him just a little harder. "You've got company."
Daniel shifted again, opening his eyes as he turned his head to glance up at her. "What?" He mumbled, still half asleep.
Leaning down, Vala kissed his forehead. "Someone's here to see you."
"Me?" He yawned. "Who would be here to see m-" Daniel stopped as Jack stepped into his line of vision. Blue eyes hardened into stones and he turned back to his comfortable position. "You woke me up for this?"
Vala gave Jack an apologetic look. "Daniel, come on - he came here-"
"He came here to check up on me and drag me home and..." Daniel shook his head, refusing to go on. "I'm going back to sleep."
Placing a hand on the couch, Jack pleaded with his friend. "We need to talk, Daniel."
The younger man never looked up at him. "We did plenty of talking three weeks ago."
"Daniel..."
Daniel shifted farther away from the two. "Go home, Jack."
Stepping around the couch, Vala squatted down until she was directly in Daniel's line of sight. He stared at her blankly, though his mouth was turned down in a hurtful frown. "You need to fix this." She stated quietly, reaching out and stroking his cheek. "Come on..." Her chin jerked upward. "Get up."
After a short stare down with her, Daniel sighed and nodded. "Okay." As she stood up and headed back into the kitchen, taking Jack with her, Daniel moved to sit up. Hayden moaned as he did so. She instinctively snuggled closer to him.
"I gotta get up, Hayds." He whispered to her.
Hayden shook her head, burying her face in his chest. She made negative sounds with her thumb still in her mouth.
Daniel tried to gently push her back down. "Come on, Hayden..." She just whined louder, pushing back with as much force as she could muster. It took less then a minute before Daniel gave way. "Okay fine, wrap your arms around my neck."
The little girl obeyed immediately, opening her eyes and clinging to Daniel like he had instructed. He stood up, bracing her to himself carefully as he went. Hayden comfortably rested her head down on his shoulder as she brought her thumb back to her mouth.
"I'm thirsty." She whispered hoarsely, her throat raw and achy from being sick.
Daniel made his way into the kitchen, not bothering to look at Jack. "Oh, you are?" He replied to Hayden. He stepped over to the fridge. "Let's see what we can get you to drink in here..." Daniel peered at the contents. "There's water, milk...hey, you want some apple juice?"
From the kitchen table, Jack watched the exchange with interest as the young child nodded eagerly. With a familiarity and ease that really threw the older man, Daniel snatched the bottle out of the fridge and accepted the plastic cup Vala handed him, all while keeping Hayden comfortably balanced against him.
"We got this just for you..." He told her as he finished pouring and placed the bottle and cap on the counter. "I know how much you like it." Daniel handed her the cup as she lifted her head off his shoulder.
Hayden nodded as she took a sip. "Tastes like apples." She said with a smack of her lips.
He rubbed his nose against hers. "I guess that's why it's called apple juice, huh?" Daniel smiled affectionately at her. It dimmed as she started coughing. He took the cup from her, placing it down on the counter. He rubbed her back until it tapered off, then his hand went to her forehead.
"Headache back, baby?" Daniel asked her gently at the way she closed her eyes and leaned into his hand. Vala stopped with the dishes once more as she came to stand beside him. Hayden nodded a little to the question, still coughing some.
Blue eyes turned on grey. "Fever's gone up again."
Vala pulled in a deep breath, then put on her best mommy smile. "Come here, monster..." She took Hayden out of Daniel's arms. "It's time for more medicine and I'm thinking a bath will do you some good."
"Okay." Hayden mumbled, burying her face in her mother's neck. She didn't even look up as Daniel placed a hand in her hair and a kiss on the top of her head.
As mother and daughter made their way out of the kitchen and up the hall, Jack noticed the way Daniel's gaze lingered that direction for several moments before it turned on him. The younger man gave him a blank stare, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the fridge.
"For someone who wanted to talk, you're pretty damn quiet." He finally said as he heard the sound of the water coming on down the hall.
Shifting in his chair, Jack felt the full weight of the stare he was being given. "I was waiting to see if you were even gonna talk to me." He admitted, his attempt at a smile withering under the cold look of betrayed blue eyes.
Daniel's face didn't soften. "I'm only talking to you because Vala asked me to." He gestured to the kitchen. "This is her house, not mine." He smiled sarcastically. "I don't have a house - you kicked me out."
Jack brought a finger up. "No, I never kicked you out. You could've come home any time you wanted."
"But why would I want to, Jack?" Daniel snapped. "Just so I could get my ass chewed out for something I didn't even do? Yeah, like that was gonna happen." He angrily stepped over to the sink and stared out the window just above it.
The older man sighed. "Daniel, you can't really blame me for what I did..."
Daniel turned hurt-filled blue eyes on his friend. "The hell I can't." He stated with anger, tears beginning to brim in his eyes. "Do you even know how what you said hit me?" At Jack's blank look, the younger man felt his chest tighten with anguish. "Do you even care?"
"If I didn't care, I wouldn't be here." Jack said, looking at the table.
A humorless laugh came from Daniel's mouth. "Why don't you rephrase that statement? We both know you're only here because Sam's not talking to you, and Charlie's starting to ask about me. It's not for my benefit, but yours." He closed his eyes, a single tear escaping unchecked. "You just don't want me to destroy another family you've made."
Jack opened his mouth to say something, but Daniel cut him off by continuing on.
"Don't even worry about trying to sound sincere and make up some fake apology." The younger man said with a false smile. "I won't make you suffer through it. Just go on home and tell Sam we're okay." He took a deep, steadying breath. "And when we're together, I'll try my hardest not to show that you honestly don't believe in me anymore...if you ever did at all."
Shaking his head, Jack held up his hand. "You know I did - do. Daniel, I've told you time and again that I've always..."
It was Daniel's turn to shake his head. "I'm not that emotional wreck of a junkie, Jack. Don't even bother trying to placate me anymore - it won't work. I know how you truly feel. I always suspected anyway." As he watched his...he didn't even know if he could call him a friend anymore...stare at him in shock, Daniel shrugged. "It's good to know I'm not wrong in everything I think and do."
"Daniel?" Vala called from the doorway, feeling bad on intruding on the conversation.
He turned his gaze to her. "Yes?" Though tears stained his cheeks, his eyes were strong and clear. Daniel was over this.
Vala tilted her head in the direction of the bathroom. "She's asking for you."
Nodding, Daniel walked towards her without even a sideways glance at Jack. He made sure his next words were loud enough for the other man to hear. "Talk to him all you want - I'm done." With that, he moved out of the kitchen and down the hall.
The words hit a nerve, and Jack turned an angry glare on the woman that had come between him and his best friend. "What makes you so damn special that you think you can split up a family?"
"I don't think that." Vala said calmly, not giving in to Jack's anger. "And correct me if I'm wrong, but the only person who's mentioned splitting up families is you - twice I might add."
Jack nodded in disgust. "Of course he told you all about it." He stood up as Vala confirmed the statement with her own nod. "Well, did he tell you how he spent the first two years of college so fucking out of it, he can barely remember even breathing? How he couldn't even get out of bed for days on end because he was so sick from not being on drugs?" Jack started to pace, getting more pissed off by the fact that Vala wasn't getting upset at all.
"How I had to fight and promise, and practically sell my soul so he could stay in school after he fucked up? How I made sure he stayed safe and sober and shielded from the deserved wrath of my ex-wife, who was so close to getting full custody of my son, simply because I had an addict living in my house, that it makes me sick just thinking about it?"
Vala just watched him intently, not backing down but not stepping up either.
It made Jack even angrier. He stormed over to her. "How can you stand there looking so fucking calm?! You're letting him throw away the only good life he's ever built for himself! Why? Just so you can have some good sex and financial support?"
The words didn't even make Vala blink, but she did step away from him and over to the counter. She picked up the cup Hayden had used, and placed it in the sink.
"You're exactly what I feared would mess him up again." Jack snapped, staring at her back with a hatred that he couldn't understand. "He thinks you're so perfect and wonderful now...then you start hounding on him for money and God knows what else, and he's gonna go back to the only thing he knows that he thinks can keep him stable, and that's morphine."
He took a few steps toward her. "And you're using that manipulating little clone daughter of yours to hook him fast and quick - both of you are getting everything. A new cash cow for mommy and that little brat girl to-"
"Excuse me!" Vala barked, turning on him with a fury that had Jack closing his mouth with an audible snap. She stalked over to him, and for a second he thought she was gonna hit him. "You forget, Jack, whose house you're standing in right now. You also forget that, at this point in time, Daniel would easily kick your jealous ass right now if I asked him to."
She snapped her fingers like only a mother could towards the chair he had occupied before. "I highly recommend you sit down and shut the fuck up!"
Jack immediately obeyed, meekly stepping over to the chair and taking his seat. He couldn't meet Vala's eyes as she towered over him. Obviously he'd finally pushed the right, or in this case the very wrong, button.
"Now you're going to listen to me." Vala fumed. "Look at me when I'm talking to you."
Brown eyes snapped upwards immediately. The gaze he met was infuriated and terrifying.
Vala shook her head in disgust. "I can't believe you. I'm finding it very hard to believe how Daniel could ever find a friend in you. I invited you into my house even though I know the man I love," She noted the way Jack practically flinched at the word. "Yes, that's right - love," Vala repeated with emphasis. "Doesn't want you here. I wanted him to talk to you because I was expecting you to apologize to him for being such an asshole! I thought you'd tell him you were wrong in laying the weight of your divorce on his shoulders - a burden he carries anyway when he doesn't evenfucking need to."
"Yet you come in here, don't offer up one request for reprieve, and then decide to take your jealous anger out on me and my daughter!" Vala shrugged. "Now me - I don't care if you insult me. There's nothing you can say to me that Hayden's father, or my own mother and father for that matter, haven't already said." If it was possible, her eyes grew even darker with anger. "But don't ever presume you can walk in my house and insult my daughter and get away with it!"
She shook her head again. "Hayden has never done anything to deserve such words, especially from someone like you who doesn't even know her. She is the sweetest little girl you will ever have the privilege to meet, and she loves Daniel." Vala's tone and eyes softened as she felt genuine hurt building up. "Why can't you be happy for both of them that they found something special in each other? That he and I have found something too?"
Jack realized this was his time to speak. "I'm sorry, but you have to understand where I'm coming from." He stood up slowly, his eyes, sad and guilty, pleading with hers. "I've seen Daniel hit rock bottom and beyond way more than a friend should have to, and it scares me to know he could fall back at any time. I'm scared to come home and find him with a needle jabbed in his arm, his eyes not even sparking with recognition when he sees me."
He felt the tears pour from his eyes, but he couldn't stop. "I'm scared of him going too far, to the point where I won't be able to bring him back for another chance. He's so brilliant and it terrifies me that one little thing can cause him to throw that away."
"Daniel is strong." Vala whispered, feeling tears burn in her eyes at Jack's anguish.
Nodding, Jack closed his eyes and swallowed thickly. "I know he is. He is so strong - in everything but this." He opened his eyes. "Everyone has their weakness, and this is his. Daniel cannot fight this alone - I've seen what happens when he tries. And I'm so scared right now that you're letting him walk away from the only support he's ever had. Not scared for me, but for him." Jack shook his head. "He can't do this alone." He repeated.
Vala placed on a hand on his shoulder to offer some kind of comfort. "He won't be doing it alone. I won't let that happen, you have to believe me."
"I'm sorry, but I can't." Jack admitted on a whisper. "I don't know anything about you or your daughter, or what your intentions are. How can I believe you when the only thing you've done is cause tension between me and Daniel?"
Pulling in a deep, calming breath, Vala stepped away from him and towards the hall. When he just stood rooted to his spot, she motioned with her finger for him to follow. "Come here."
He hesitated a moment before obeying. "What are we-" Again a finger to her mouth had Jack shutting up instantly. If he knew nothing else, which was basically true, about Vala, he'd definitely be able to pin her as a mother. Silently, she led him to the doorway closest to them. Vala pointed inside.
"Take a look." She whispered.
Jack looked at her, his brow furrowed in confusion. She jerked her eyebrows towards the room and pointed again. Finally, Jack peered around her and into the room.
Daniel sat on Hayden's bed. Hayden was sitting between his legs, wrapped in a towel. She had her eyes closed, jerking back and forth gently as Daniel combed out her long, wet hair.
Brown eyes watched the way one of Daniel's large, calloused hands tenderly pulled the comb through Hayden's dark brown locks. The other stroked over each untangled part as he finished with it. Jack's ears perked as the young girl started to speak in a hoarse whisper.
"Daniel?"
Daniel continued to comb her hair. "Yeah, sweetheart?"
She sniffed, running the back of her hand across her nose. "Why doesn't your friend like me?" Jack cast a quick look at Vala, but she was wrapped up in the two beyond the doorway. Obviously this was what she'd wanted him to see.
Hands paused in their work. "Why do you think he doesn't like you?"
"Because." Hayden sniffed again, trying to clear her throat some. "He told mommy I was a little brat...I know you told me not to listen, but I heard that. Why does he think that? I don't even know him."
Daniel placed the comb down on the bed and wrapped his arms around her. "Jack didn't say those things cause he doesn't like you, Hayden. He said those things cause he's mad at me because I won't talk to him anymore."
She rubbed a small hand over his. "But mommy told me talking with him would make both of you happy. But he didn't sound happy after you talked, and he said bad things to mommy and called me a brat." She sniffed, a combination of her illness and from feeling upset. "Everyone calls me that, Daniel. Am I really one?"
Turning her around in his lap, Daniel brushed a hand over still wet hair. "No, babygirl. You're not a brat...you are the sweetest, most beautiful girl I know. Don't let anyone ever tell you anything different, especially Jack." He pulled her in close to his chest. "He's good at telling lies."
"Then why are you friends with him?" Hayden sniffed, pulling back and holding the towel tight around herself.
Daniel had to think on that for a moment, but finally he smiled. "I've known him a long time. When it really matters, Jack is a very good best friend. He's always been there for me when nobody else was, even when he shouldn't have been. He's like my brother, and I love him."
Blinking in shock, Jack looked at Vala as she touched his shoulder.
"See, he doesn't hate you..." She murmured softly. "He just doesn't understand why you hurt him."
Jack stared at her, then turned his attention back to Daniel and Hayden as the girl started talking again.
"I can be here for you too." She said quietly, staring at the pattern on Daniel's t-shirt. "I know it's not a brother, but I can be like your daughter..." Hayden fiddled with her towel again. "You can love me too."
Her words took all three adults by surprise. Daniel stared at her for a moment, seeing how hesitant and scared she was. Tears falling, he picked her up and hugged her tight. She wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Are you kidding?" He laughed through his emotion. "Daughter is way better than brother, and there's no other little girl I'd want because I already love you, Hayden." Daniel took a deep breath, enjoying the feel of her in his arms. It felt so right now. "I love you so much."
A coughing fit from Hayden immediately broke the moment. Daniel pulled her back quickly and placed her on the bed.
He pushed her down. "Okay, let's get you dressed before you get sicker." As he stood up and moved to get her clothes, Daniel finally noticed Vala and Jack watching them. He crossed his arms and stared down at the floor.
"Daniel, I-" Jack started to say, but Hayden cut him off.
"I'm cold." She mumbled, still coughing a little.
Vala stepped into the room, picking up the task Daniel had been intending to do. He, instead, remained where he was standing, staring a hole in the floor near Jack's feet.
Sighing, Jack stepped up to Daniel. He moved to place a hand on his shoulder, but stopped as the younger man tensed considerably. Suddenly feeling like the biggest asshole in the universe, Jack dropped his hand and watched Daniel continue to stare at the floor.
"I really don't know what to say..." He finally said after pulling in a deep breath. "Sorry just seems so inadequate, but that's all I've got, so...I'm sorry, Daniel. I'm sorry that I yelled at you like I did, and that I didn't trust you when you asked me to. I'm sorry I said those things about my divorce and you being a-" Jack paused, looking a Hayden. "I'm just sorry about it all, okay?"
Daniel couldn't find any words. Never before had he heard Jack apologize so much all together. The little kid in him, the one that always turned to Jack because Jack was the only thing that had been there for so long, as well as the junkie, wanted to say he forgave him and all was good again. But the man who had stood in the kitchen earlier, saying he was done with being placated refused to budge.
Another sigh, this one in understanding sorrow, escaped passed Jack's lips. "I understand - you want me to leave. I get it now, I just wanted you to know that." His voice cracked, and he had to stop to regain his emotions. He looked up at Vala, who was trying to seem busy with getting Hayden dressed and warmed. "I'm sorry for what I said, about you and about your daughter."
Brown eyes looked at the child. "I don't think you're a brat, hunny. In fact," Jack looked at Daniel. "You're the best damn angel a guy could wish upon his friend." He smiled around his tears and finally patted Daniel lightly on the arm, ignoring the tension underneath his fingertips as he did.
"I'll see ya, kid." Jack said, turning and quietly making his way out of the room. He knew the moment he stepped out the door, and got into his car, it was done. Sure, he'd see Daniel when he came to his house to see Sam and Charlie, and get his stuff from the guesthouse where he stayed. But Jack understood he wasn't needed in the way he'd always been before - Daniel had gone and found himself a whole new place to belong, and obviously he didn't want Jack in it. Hell, the kid had lied to keep that place hidden.
As Jack left the room, his footsteps echoing down the hall, Daniel let out a shaky breath. The footfalls got quieter, and finally the sound of the front door opening was heard. Something clicked into place inside him at the noise, and Daniel whipped his head around to stare at Vala in uncertainty. He was standing there on the edge, and didn't know what to do. Just like Jack, he knew if the older man drove away, that would be it.
Vala watched Daniel struggle before her. This was the man Jack was talking about in the kitchen, the man he had pleaded to her about. The man who just couldn't do it alone. The tears glimmered bright in his blue gaze, his body shaking a little, and his lips trembling around his slightly open mouth. And suddenly, she understood as well. She'd barely nodded before Daniel raced out of the room.
He was certain Jack would be gone, but he raced anyway. Out of the hall and through the living room. Reaching the front door, Daniel pulled it open quickly and stepped out onto the porch. Jack was just stepping up into his SUV, not having noticed him come out. Daniel moved to stand near the porch steps.
"Jack?" He called out desperately.
The older man's head snapped up. He stared, slightly shocked to see Daniel standing there, obviously overcome with emotions. Jack climbed back out of his vehicle. "Daniel?" He questioned, not sure what was about to happen.
Walking down the steps, Daniel finally let the tears fall as he moved towards his friend. His arms where crossed tight over his chest. He stopped just a few feet away from Jack.
"Okay." Daniel mumbled around his tears, again not meeting Jack's gaze. This time, though, it was out of fear rather than anger. When Jack did nothing but just stand and stare at him, he started to sob gently. "Okay...okay...okay..."
It snapped Jack out of his stupor. He rushed forward, wrapping his arms around Daniel. Instantly, the other man squeezed Jack tightly.
"I still need you." Daniel sobbed into his neck, desperately clinging to his friend. The past three weeks of not talking to Jack had finally caught up to him. He couldn't stop from crying out of fear and out of guilt. "Please don't leave."
Jack rubbed his hand over Daniel's hair. "I'm not leaving, kid." He rested his cheek against Daniel's head. "I'm not going anywhere." Brown eyes shifted to the doorway, where Vala stood with Hayden in her arms. Both were watching intently. Jack continued to stroke his hand over Daniel's hair as the younger man cried.
"And I promise I won't take you away from them either." He whispered, sharing a look with the woman that had so easily found her way into his best friend's heart. Something passed between them then, and both nodded in their own fashion.
Finally, they understood one another.
A/N: So yeah, I got some not so nice comments on how the characters are acting in this series - that's it's unrealistic. Let me just say that from my own personal experiences, when a friend feels like that are being 'replaced', they get angry and jealous and fight over the stupidest things and things go way farther out of proportion then they need to. And about Jack and Daniel acting to 'girly' - I hate to break it to you, but men are allowed to cry and get upset and bitch. And let's face it, these two do an aweful lot of bitching (ie - Need, The Other Side, The Shroud, Abyss, Menace...). Considering the nature of the whole 'drug addiction', there's bound to be tears and anguish. (My whole inspiration for that plot twist came from THAT scene in the storeroom in Need).
I apologize if that came off harsh and defensive, but I don't appreciate my work being slammed when I put so much thought and time into it. For everyone who DOES enjoy this story and how I've molded the canon characters into these AU counterparts (stress on the AU, here), I thank you for all the reviews and LVOE you've shown Chance on Love. Really, it's truly and deeply appreciated.
-Pip
And please continue to review and give feedback...please!