I don't own Naruto or red vs

I don't own Naruto or red vs. blue

Talking

Thinking

AI

Red vs. Blue vs. Naruto

Chapter 17

"This is one is sloth and…… mostly sloth."

"Hey you out there!" yelled Griff standing in the middle of the canyon shouting at the top of his lungs at the Gold and Silver, along with everyone else. "Hey, you dick eating, butt swipes!"

"What did he just call us?" said Lee

"I think he was talking to you, Kakashi." said Gai

Kakashi stared in the other direction not listening to Griff or Gai. "Huh, what did you say?"

"Damn you Kakashi!"

Griff sighed and look at the other direction. "Yeah, I'm so going to fucking die."

While Griff distracted the Reds and Blues ran over to Red Base fixing the slushy machine. "Alright, now first we connect the lobster thingy to the horsy thingy by using the whish bone thingy, what fucking plans did you use Sarge?" said Church

"Oh, the same design I have right on the wall." On the wall there was a picture of the inside of a ice cream machine.

"Sarge that's an ice cream machine, and that's not even a right design for an ice cream machine! The cooling is not even in the machine, it's in someone else!"

"Yeah, I will attach it in Simmons, that way he'll be my right hand till death."

"It will be a privilege, sir!"

"What a kiss ass." Yelled Griff. He didn't notice that the others were approaching behind him. "Oh crap, hey guys, hurry!"

"Griff, what are you doing?" said Tex

"What do you think bitch! Oh shit I'm so dead!" Tex sighed calming herself down. "Hey you didn't kill me, bitch, whore, slut, hey you now what I'm going to do to your house I'm going to burn it down!"

"Griff, if you don't shut up I'm going to kill you."

"Yeah right…hey why aren't you trying to kill me?"

"Halleluiah Ben and Jerry, we got it working!" shouted Sarge "Griff get out of the way!" He shot a rocket at Griff blowing him away from everyone. "Oww!"

"That's why, dumbshit!" yelled Tex

He flew away far from the group. Most of the nins were surprise to see that Griff teammate killed him. "I'm not dead."

Back with Naruto and the others. They've just moved into a Flood infested area where the floor, walls and ceiling were cover with Flood. "So, this Gravemind thing, he…it controls all the Flood?" said Naruto

"The Gravemind is the central conscience of all Flood, its very body is made up of bodies of its dead victims."

"Eeww, that's gross." Said Sakura

"Where is this Gravemind?"

"Beneath the Library."

"Library? How do we get to the Library?" The Arbiter opens an automatic door revealing a teleportal. "Through here. We can use this teleport sending us to the nearest temple from there we make our way to the Library." Then the roar of the Flood came from behind, they could see the shadows of the Flood approaching towards them. "We must make haste!" He yelled running into the teleportal and with the others following him.

They arrived in a temple like building where a battle took place. They saw the Arbiter fighting against Brutes, Grunts and Jackals. They join in the fighting against the Brutes, Naruto killed a couple of Brutes, but when he got to the end of the temple he ran into a Weapon Chieftain. "Oh, not this again." He said before the Chieftain swung his hammer at him. Naruto dodged his swing and immediately went from behind and threw a plasma grenade at his back killing the Chieftain. He went for his hammer and killed other Brutes. "Get that damn hammer!" Brute Captain Ultra yelled leading the lesser Brutes and other races. Sasuke and Sakura fired their rifles at the lower ranks, such as Grunts, Jackals and lower ranking Brute officers, while the Arbiter and Naruto went for the higher ranking. Out of nowhere a Covenant ship flew over the temple and dropped two Hunters. They smashed through the wall killing all the Grunts and Jackals, the last remaining Brutes were also killed by them too. Sasuke and Sakura saw them jogging over them firing their fuel rod cannon at them. Sasuke and Sakura easily dodged them and started firing at them. Naruto was about to help them out until the Arbiter stop him pulling him behind the wall. "What the hell Arbiter? Why did you pull me out of the battle?"

"I want to see your compatriots fighting style." The Arbiter over looked the battle while Naruto look on with him holding himself from helping them. The first Hunter fired again another blast and the second follow after. They both dodge the attack, but then the second Hunter attacked Sakura with its shield. She immediately threw a spike grenade and dodges the attack, but the Hunter then swiped horizontally hitting her, luckily her shield protected her from the powerful hit but it also almost drained her shields to nothing. "Oh, no!" The second Hunter fired its fuel canon at her. Her shields protected her but the blast damage her chest and arm. She was then rammed to the wall and her helmet nearly fell off. The Hunter again fired its fuel canon again, Sakura instantly rolled away from the blast. A plasma grenade was in front of her and she picked it up quickly. She ran over the Hunter while it fired its canon and tries to hit her with its shield. She then threw the grenade behind it on its neck exploding on contact. She raised her rifle at it hoping that will kill it, but it didn't. "What?! That should have killed it!!" The Hunter fired its canon again and moved forward while constantly firing its canon at her. She had trouble dodging the blast, but she finally made it behind it and unleashed every bullet on its back side finally killing the Hunter.

Sasuke in the other hand had no trouble with the first Hunter, he immediately analyze the Hunter and found its one weak spot, its back. He moved from behind, while the Hunter fired its fuel canon. He fired a few bullets at its back, but then the Hunter swung its shield from the back nearly hitting Sasuke and fired its fuel canon at him. He was hit by it and it did horribly damage to him, nearly killing his shields. Sasuke regain his senses and executed the same tactics. He went from behind and unloaded on the Hunter's back finally killing it. Sakura walk over to Sasuke with her hand covering her arm. She nearly fell if it weren't for Sasuke catching her. "Sakura, are you alright?"

She nodded removing her helmet. The Arbiter and Naruto approach them, Sasuke scorn at the Arbiter. "Hey why did you pull Naruto back, and why didn't you help us?!"

"You fight efficiently, better than I thought." He looked over the Hunters corpses. "You two should be proud of yourselves. I know only a few of your kind who can fend off a Hunter alone."

"Hunter?" The nin said in union. They look at the Hunters and notice that the Hunter had worm like creatures attach to each other. "We must move I sense more are coming."

After the fight Naruto let the hammer go and changed back to his rifle. "Man that thing was heavy." He said after spotting a carbine rifle. He switched his pistol for it and joins the others. "Hey where did you found that weapon?" said Sakura, Sasuke look at his weapon and spotted the rifle too. "I found it on the ground. I was a bit low on ammo so I switch this for the pistol."

"Enough, we can't waste time with chit chat, get a new weapon and keep moving." Said the Arbiter

They reached to a cavern with a huge hill in it and multiple large boulders in the way. They breached the cavern and entered into a cave which leads to a large fortress. The Arbiter press the pad opening the large doors leading downward to a horrible smell and puke green gas floating in the air. The Arbiter sniffed air smelling the order of death. "The Flood are here."

"The Flood?" Naruto stared into the nothingness only seeing the green vapor in the air. The Arbiter moved forward not wasting time for discussion. The others follow him but a bit cautious of their surrounding. The more they move in the fortress the more they became uneasy of this place and following the Arbiter's lead. When they at their highest level of caution the noise of slamming doors spook them, they immediately turn seeing that the Arbiter closed the door and destroying the panel. "We must let the Flood out, this place must be quarantine." He moved forward and the others just stared at him thinking that he is mad just closing the door behind them. How are they going to get out now and why is he quarantining this place? The surrounding area became more and more organic and Ghosts, Wraiths and covenant weapons became more and more frequent, blood stain every where and corpses of human Elites, Brutes, Grunts, Jackals and Hunters were common now. This made the ninja more and more worried that they might run into a pack of Flood. Without them noticing Flood parasite popped out from the organic landing on the dead corpses.

Naruto heard the noise of something whooshing and saw Flood Parasite attaching themselves to their hosts. "Arbiter!" He yelled. The Arbiter turns seeing the once dead corpses, except Hunters, getting up, swelling and turning into Flood. Neither of the ninja had ever seen something this horrendous, before. The undead parasites charged at them. Human, Elites and Brutes moved like they used to move trying to whip them with their whipping hand. Naruto got hit by one of them. He was push back and his shield nearly went to zero which surprise him on how powerful these Flood are. Sasuke fired his plasma rifle and threw a grenade at one of them, but was still got hit by one of the Flood's whip. Sakura retreated and fired throwing all her grenades at them. She started to panic as parasite Flood came up to her. She fired her weapon at them and at the parasites, but they still came. But then the Arbiter came to her rescue killing all the Floods with his plasma sword. He roared and went into combat yelling with each strike he made with a Flood. Sasuke and Naruto, though badly hurt, ran up to her who is scared half to death by these things.

The Arbiter had killed numerous Floods but more came. Like an endless flood that they are. He retreated to the Spartans/ninja. "Spartans run, now!" He yelled going to the opposite direction where the Flood were coming from. They followed the Elite, but the deeper they went into the fortress the more Flood appear. They jump from holes underneath them or above them. Explosion was everywhere as more and more Flood jump out. When they were near to a Carrier Flood it will fall exploding sending five or six parasites at them. Tanks and Scouts were just chasing them. Snipers, annoying of the parasite group, fired long deadly spikes from their back.

The Arbiter will stop at times killing as many as he can but they still came. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura were running out of ammo and now with no grenades. When enough Flood died they would retreat and attack when there were too many and retreat again. "Why did we follow this guy?" said Sasuke annoyed that they might die for nothing. Then five Tanks appear in front of them. The Arbiter and the others stop running and prepare to attack them. "Do not shot, but listen. Let me lead you safely to our foe."

"What nonsense are you speaking of, parasites?" said the Arbiter "You are our enemy!"

"You shall know soon, or, willing to be food?" They turn seeing the other Parasites coming closer and closer. "Right, we'll follow." Said Naruto. The Tank Flood went in front of them fighting the other Floods. The small group ran off seeing a blue circle in the middle of a room. "Go into the light."

The follow the Gravemind's orders and gathered in the elevator sending them down, very, very down. The ride seems to take at least twelve minutes. When finally they arrived at a uncontaminated area. They enter in the room right in front of them seeing in there a huge pile of organic Flood parasite engulfing a nearly destroyed Spartan suit. "Is that…" then a hidden laser blaster fired at them, they took cover behind a corner of the room. A sinister laughter came from the suit, laughter like they've never heard before. "The darkness wills swallow you whole! Ha! Oblivion is at hand which taste like red bull, which is disgusting."

"Who is that?!" Naruto examined the suit seeing nothing similar to it. "Red soldiers, and one green soldier. Blue soldier. How annoying."

"Hey, he knows about Red and Blue." Said Sakura

Sasuke went out to the open firing his rifle at one of the turrets firing at them destroying it. "I will end your life!" They all open fired at the pile of organic Flood hurting him. The Arbiter roar and ran at the Spartan suit jumping and running up to the suit slicing its head off. "I am Omega! True ruler of the Universe!" He yelled when his head fell. The organic took form of a long whip throwing itself at Omega's head. "Spartan!" Naruto jump out throwing his last grenade at the head blowing Omega's head off. The pile of Flood organ fell apart killing the pile of organic Flood. Naruto and the others glanced at the Spartan head seeing it's a mechanical head. The Arbiter grabbed the Spartan suit and look behind its head seeing an empty slot.

"Something's wrong." The Flood Tank treads up behind them and the Arbiter quickly stood up and growled at the Flood Tank.

"Aren't they on our side?" said Naruto

The ground shook and dozen of tentacles shot out from the ground grabbing the Elite and the ninjas dragging them down into the abyss.

Church saw Tex who is in the way of Srage insane ice cream, slushy machine. He sighed and turns his COM on. "Tex…this is Church…" Out of nowhere he felt something strange like something just nailed into his head. "What, what was that? Ah, forget it Tex…"

"What?! What is it?!"

"Get out of the way, where sending those mother fucking bastards to their own damn fucking piece of shit from a monkey world!"

"You know, you could have just said their world. That is more simplistic than what you just said"

"Well, yeah it's simplistic, but I like my way better, now get out of the way."

She sighed. "Doc, Sister go back to Red Base." She said in her com.

"What, what about Griff?" said Doc

"What about him? The man survives more near death experience than I have." Said Tex

"Wait, what about Wymoning and the others?"

"Tell them to go back to Red base, too."

"Okay, Sister, everyone else let's go to Red Base."

"Yeah! Let's start this ice cream machine!" Yelled Sarge. He activates his machine by pulling the lever and ice cream falling down on the ground making a mess. "Sir, are you sure that's how it works?"

"Of course!" Then the ice cream machine shot out a beam from the top. Simmons, Tucker, Caboose and Donut ran outside seeing what Sarge has just created. Church, Doc, Sister and Tex just stare into space wondering what Sarge have just created.

"Sarge-made- A FUCKING BIG ASS ICE CREAM CONE!!" Church yelled at the huge ice cream cone hologram in the sky. If you can see this cone it is so big you swear it can swallow the earth itself. The others saw the giant ice cream cone in the sky and their mouths went all the way down, but thanks to their helmets it kept their mouths from dropping.

"Who created that thing?!" Yelled Kakashi

"Alright now to send them back!" He pull another level spilling chocolate ice cream to the ground. The FUCKING BIG ASS ICE CREAM CONE then disappeared and a poodle replaced the cone. "Sarge, what the hell are you doing?! Now you created a pansy ass dog?"

"Oh, wait wrong lever." He pulled the strawberry lever and finally a vortex opening into Naruto's world. The Reds and Blue look upon the splendid feudal like world the ninja live in, awe at its magnificent and beauty.

"That…world…is a piece of shit!" said Griff

"Yeah, who would want to live in a world like that, look at it, its realistic and boring." Said Tucker

"Oh, look at my world, So says Narupo idiotically, we live in constant danger and war is always in the horizon and it's a miracle that everyone is such a douche to one another." Said Simmons

"You mean it's not a miracle that everyone is such a douche to one another, right Simmons?" said Griff

"No, I really mean that it is a miracle that they are complete douches to one another and still live in a world that seems so pathetic as that, which I might add is also a miracle that President George Bush hasn't ruined the world even worse, so I add that this world is so bad I bet the Taliban will so want to nuke that world ten times as more than they do with the United States of America. Again I might add that if I were to force my self living in that world I would so kill myself and everyone else near to me!"

Griff just stare at his teammate Simmons and ponder if he had lost his sanity a few days ago.

"Well, let me add to your suggestion Simmons. I know that, that world hadn't been ruined by President George Bush because I bet he had already ruined it and I add even more because that world has constant war and hate for one another I'm not to surprise that their domestic policies is so horrible that it's another miracle that they haven't gone bankrupt, and I add some more, our American system has already lost so much money its another miracle that America hasn't been disbanded as a nation or even torn by civil war because of the horrible economic problems we have and the high cost of gasoline."

Now Tucker is just staring at the two Reds and pondered what Griff was pondering about Simmons, before going on economic problems, and wonder if they both have lost their sanity.

"You really hate Naruto and the world he came from don't you, Reds."

"Oh yes we do." They both said in unison

"Alright you stupid ninja! Get back into your world and stay there!" shouted Sarge at them where they already have enter into their world and Sarge just stare into space realizing that he was shouting to the air. "Well, shit." He went back down and pulled the strawberry lever closing the portal.

"Finally their all gone." Then a rumbling came from the middle of the canyon and three long tentacles blasted out of the floor one grabbing Church lifting him up to the air and the Gravemind summoned himself from the floor growling at him.

"Church!" Yelled Tex and Caboose

"I am a monument to all your sins. Now the end has come to you and I will seek the other. We will exits as one, two corpses in one grave."

"Oh…" said Simmons

"My…" said Griff

"Fucking…" said Tucker

"God!" said Sarge

"The Gravemind!" shouted Church struggling in its grasp.

"AH! We're all going to die!" said Donut

The Gravemind huffed and lifted Church up to its face. "This one is full of anger and hate, and is the more cynical one."

"Yeah, that probably sounds like me."

End Chapter

"…Fuck…"