Hannah stood in front of the full length mirror situated in the corner of the dressing room: fascinated by the transformation that had taken place over the afternoon. After nearly 3 hours of hair and makeup and then the final fitting of the dress that took longer than expected (Since her last fitting she had put on a few pounds and there was no choice but to let the seam out a bit) she was ready to make her New York debut.
Graham had chosen the dress. He didn't want her to be sexy or to conservative, he wanted something to fit her age, her background but also a gown that would show off her natural beauty. In the end there had only been one dress. He knew right away and when Hannah tried it on there was no question. The long cobalt blue gown slit on the right side to her knee(for easier pedal maneuvering), a conservative off the shoulder cut, the neckline not showing to much cleavage but still alluring was perfect. Her long black hair, slightly curled, wisped over her bare shoulders. He couldn't stand the thought of her putting it up. It was a strong feature when she played and it was age appropriate. So many artists tried to look older but Graham wanted to play on her youth. This was who the new Hannah was.
And as Hannah gazed at her reflection she realized Graham knew more about her than she ever realized. So many years her parents had molded her into what they wanted but Graham, in the past few months, knew what was right for Hannah. She liked what she saw.
Graham entered the room, slightly out of breath. He had been running around for the past few hours and it was the first time he had connected with Hannah since the dress had been refitted. His eyes widened at the sight of her. She not only looked beautiful and elegant but she had a confidence about her that was evident as she stood at the mirror. It wasn't just the dress that transformed her. She had blossomed so much over the past few months. He smiled proudly, feeling he had been a part of this transformation.
"Wow." He stated as she turned slightly, blushing.
"Graham, it's just so perfect. I feel I belong in this dress. Of course they did have to make a few adjustments." She looked a little down. "They didn't say anything but I'm sure there were so many things going through their heads."
He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, a hand on her tiny bulging belly, "You look beautiful. They say pregnant women glow and you are glowing, darling."
"You can't notice it can you? I'm not ready to have to explain to my father."
"Stop fretting. Tonight is about your music."
She smiled at him, kissing him gently, "I have to watch the makeup."
"Or you'd be all over me in a flash, like this morning." He raised his eyebrows.
She stroked his cheek, "Are you holding up okay?"
"Brilliant. Things are falling into place. Haven't had to yell much. Of course, I'd like to throw you on top of the piano and have my way with you, to release some of that tension."
"You're not going to give up on that one are you?"
"Not on your life. Every pianist has to make love on a piano, Hannah."
"Maybe afterwards."
"I'll remember you said that."
"I know you will."
He looked at his watch, "You have about half hour. The house is filling up, a lot of buzz. It's great out there." He looked around the room at the numerous bouquets that seemed to be multiplying everytime he turned around. "And this is impressive. Did you leak out somewhere you were into red roses?"
She laughed, "It's an easy choice obviously. But they are beautiful. I didn't know I had so many admirers."
"This is only the beginning." He took her into his arms, "I feel so blessed that we've made this journey together and still have so much further to go. I can't imagine any better place to be than by your side tonight, or any night."
"You say the most beautiful things to me, Graham."
"It's not hard to do." She blushed as he kissed her forehead, "You know I better get out of here. You need some time to yourself. You're going to knock them dead, darling. Tonight is going to be amazing."
She straightened his bow tie and stroked the lapels of his jacket with her fingertips, "It already is amazing just sharing it with you."
"Now who's getting all gushy?" He pulled away. "I need to check out front, I'll be back to give you the 10 minute call. Relax, stay focused." He put on his teacher/manager face. "You're ready. So ready for this."
He walked to the door and gave her a wink before he left. She turned back to the mirror and looked at herself. She was ready. Her father would be out in the audience, all of her new friends from the school. But there was someone missing. Someone she had envisioned seeing her on a stage in New York. She couldn't think about him, she had to focus. As she straightened her dress out, her hand reached her stomach and she caressed it gently. Smiling. Logan was here. Maybe not the way she had planned but he was most definitely here.
A few hours later…
Ecstatic after two standing ovations she bounced off the stage, clutching a bouquet of white roses Graham had presented to her only a few minutes ago. He appeared from the wings beaming from ear to ear and she immediately passed the flowers to a stage hand and threw her arms around his neck, "Is this what it always feels like? Feeling this blissful, this content? I don't want it to ever end."
"It's not about to end. The night is young and it's all yours." He kissed her, then realized people were beginning to congregate in the back stage area and he needed some time alone with her. He took hold of her hand pulling her towards the dressing room, "I do have one request before your adoring audience descends upon you though."
She smiled, "The piano."
He laughed nervously, "Well, I won't rule that out but…"
"Something else? Graham, what are you up to?"
The door swung open and she eyed him suspiciously as she entered. As the door closed behind them, Hannah leaned against the piano stroking the keys, as she gazed longingly at him. For the first time today, she found him nervous and a bit awkward. Sitting in an ice bucket he grabbed the bottle of champagne, "I need a drink."
"This is so unlike you, Graham. What is going on?"
He poured two glasses and as he handed one to her he smiled, "They loved you. Adored you. They hung on every note you played."
"They loved you too. The crowd went crazy when you brought me those flowers. Graham, they will never forget who you were." She thought maybe he was having memories of before his breakdown. Of course he had been through this same feeling time and time again. Was it bothering him?
He looked up at her and noticed her demeanor changing. She was worried about him. He then laughed, "You think I'm jealous?"
"Well, I don't know…I'm sure being exposed to all of this again, it's bound to bring back memories."
He moved closer to her placing a hand on her cheek, "You don't have to worry about any of that. I love that they love you. I watched from the wings and felt such a rush when they stood on their feet. This is where you belong." He gently stroked her cheek and gazed into her eyes.
She felt the double meaning in his words, "you couldn't be more correct." She set her glass down and took hold of his jacket lapels pulling him closer to her. When their lips met he fervently pressed against her, his heart racing.
She gently pushed him back, once again looking into his eyes, and placed her hand on his chest, feeling his heart pulsating rapidly, "Graham, I think you need to take it easy. All of this has been too much strain on you. I don't think you could handle me on the piano right now."
"You don't think I could handle you?" He raised an eyebrow, smiling wickedly.
"Well, I've never seen you in such a state. You're a mess." Hannah's concern was genuine.
He chuckled a bit nervously, "Due to you. And you're right about the piano…for tonight… there will be plenty of time for that." He took a deep breath and reached into his pocket pulling out a small box.
Hannah's jaw dropped and her eyes widened, "Graham…"
He placed a finger over her lips, "I'm not through. There will plenty of time for a shag on the piano or any other activity that your little heart desires because I want to spend my whole life with you." He slipped the ring out of the box and took her left hand. Hannah recognized straight away that it was antique. An unobtrusive silver band with a row of 5 small diamonds. As he slipped it on her finger she gasped that it was a perfect fit.
Tears welled up in her eyes, "Oh, Graham, it's beautiful and it fits perfectly."
"So you like it?"
"Yes, you silly goose. It's perfect." She twisted it on her finger, contemplating the whole meaning of what was happening. Things were moving so fast. Only a few days ago she had come to Graham with her dilemma. Now there was a ring on her finger and he wanted to marry her.
"And so the answer is…" He tried to read her but her eyes were fixed on the ring. Feeling a little frustrated he stepped back and took a deep breath taping his shoe on the hardwood floors nervously.
She smiled and then lifted his chin, looking into his eyes, "You never asked a question."
He relaxed somewhat as she gazed at him. Slowly a smile appeared, "I'm doing great here aren't I? I can't even propose properly."
"I think you're doing marvelously." She gently kissed him, "Now what was that question you were going to ask?"
He placed his hands on her cheeks and leaned his head close. "Will you marry me, Hannah Masterson? Will you put up with my bullshit and my quirky habits and shag on pianos and have babies and…"
"Yes, Graham Eastborne. I will marry you." Their arms wrapped around each other as their foreheads touched and Graham let out a sign of relief and contentment.
"I knew the day you came back into my life, I wanted nothing else but I knew you weren't ready. I realize the baby has rushed all of this but it hasn't changed the way I feel about you. I want to live with you and have a family, and play music together."
"I wish it could be different."
"Hell no. This baby is a part of you." He rubbed her stomach. There was a silence between them. Hannah fidgeted under his hand, turning slightly so his hand ended up on her hip. It was awkward. Hannah looked down at her feet; Graham gazed off to the side. Both of them very aware of the one thing that could possible stand between them in the long run. He took her hand, and admired the ring, wanting to move away from the subject, "It was my grandmother's."
Hannah swallowed, relieved for the distraction, "It's perfect, Graham and the fit is remarkable."
"Ah, now there I had an advantage. Thank god my job revolves around your hands on a day to day basis. Having it resized was a piece a cake."
They both looked down at the ring while his fingers caressed her own. It had been their first form of intimacy, involving their hands and even at this moment Hannah found herself a little turned on by his touch.
"You're sure the piano is out of the question tonight?"
He laughed, amused by her frustration. He traced a finger across her cheek, "There's always the piano back at the loft after the party."
"All those people are waiting, aren't they?"
He looked at his watch, "Probably and we should really think about heading out of here. You should get changed out of that dress and I'll go talk to the driver."
"You can stay." She stroked his lapel and fingered a button on his shirt.
"Not a good idea, not in your state of mind." He backed up towards the door.
As he walked out, he practically ran into a delivery boy just outside the door, ready to knock and carrying a large bouquet of mixed flowers, "These are for Miss Masterson."
"Those are pretty impressive."
"They should be with all the trouble the florist had to go through to get them. I think he said they are Canadian wildflowers or something and the customer didn't want anything else."
Graham didn't even place this statement with Logan at all, he was still thinking of Hannah's hands entwined with his own and what was in store for him back at the loft. "Miss Masterson is indisposed at the moment. Just leave them here."
"But I've got specific instructions. They are already late and I was told to put them into her arms. My boss is afraid the customer will find out and be pissed."
"I'll put them in her arms for you. I promise you, she'll get them." He pulled a 20 bill out of his wallet and pressed it into the boys' hand.
The boy took the bill but was a little leery. He had been told the customer had a temper and no one wanted to have to deal with him again. Graham then gave him a little shove and showed him to the door.
Minutes later, dressed in a dark green cocktail dress, Hannah opened the dressing room door. She glimpsed the flowers at her feet and immediately squat down for a closer inspection. She buried her face in the bouquet getting a strong whiff of the aroma. An English country garden came to mind. Days of being carefree and barefoot, running through the fields accompanied these thoughts. They were the most gorgeous flowers she had ever seen. Roses were all fine and dandy but these were so full of life and color. She found the card stuck to the vase and found herself truly excited about what she might find inside it. She began to open it carefully when Graham appeared from nowhere, "Darling, we've got to run."
"These flowers. I was just…"
He took hold of her hand and the envelope dropped. Pulling her towards the exit so quickly she had barely a second to even try and retrieve the card, "They were beautiful." She stated as they headed out towards the town car waiting for them.
As she slid into the seat, Graham gave her a quick kiss, "I'll make sure they make it back to the loft. They were pretty incredible. Someone put some thought into those. Probably an anonymous admirer." He teased.
"I didn't see the card."
He turned towards her, raising his eyebrows and smiling wickedly, "All the more exciting and mysterious."
He patted her knee as he leaned towards the driver, giving him the address of the restaurant. Hannah settled into the seat peering out the window towards the stage door, the flowers very much on her mind. There was something about them. She didn't really understand her fascination with them. Because she wasn't focusing, she felt the words and images popping into her head and she rubbed her temple feeling one of her dreaded headaches. She rarely used her mutancy except for her music. There was so much unneeded information and when she found herself in one of these states, all of it seemed to resurface. She closed her eyes tightly and took control of them, pushing them back, taking deep breaths. Fretting over a silly bunch of flowers wasn't worth this grief.
She felt Graham squeeze her upper thigh and immediately opened her eyes. He leaned towards her, "You're having those headaches again?" There was a concern in his voice.
She put her hand over his and reassured him smiling, "Just for a second. I get them when my mind wanders."
"I hope it's not wandering too far." He leaned in closer kissing her lips while his hand caressed her thigh.
"I think yours is wandering back to bed."
He smiled, "As always."
She nestled up next to him and his arm wrapped around her shoulders automatically. Reaching for her hand, his fingers caressed her ring finger and the ring he had placed on it earlier. His gaze focused on it and a content smile graced his face. She couldn't remember ever seeing him so happy.
The after party at Sardi's was just getting started when they walked in hand in hand. The crowd stood and cheered them both and Hannah sheepishly bowed her head, somewhat embarrassed by the admiration. Graham beamed as he handed her a glass of champagne from a tray and whispered in her ear, "Savor and enjoy. You deserve it."
Their hands entwined, neither wanted to let go but Graham released hers and stepped away. She looked back at him as they seemed to drift further apart. He was conversing with people she had never seen before. He had a life before her in New York and most of the people here were part of that group. Their time together had been spent practicing or in bed and she realized at that moment she knew nothing about his friends or what he did when she wasn't with him. She knew she had to stay calm and stay focused but this was a new situation for her. How was she supposed to enjoy all these strangers who knew everything about her and were congratulating her right and left?
For the most part she nodded and was polite, but soon it was overwhelming her and she found she was scanning over and around heads looking for Graham or any familiar face. She had yet to see her father or any of the others. Just at that moment a mass of white hair came into view and she sighed with relief as Ororo approached and hugged her, "I knew you were good, but tonight was magical, Hannah."
Hannah nervously smiled, "Thank-you." She looked around, "Where are the others? My father?"
"We took a quiet table in the corner. If you can leave your adoring public, I'll take you over there."
"Please, I think I've had enough adoring public. It's a bit overwhelming." Hannah fidgeted with her fingers and felt the ring. A slight panic came over her as she covered it with her other hand.
Ororo didn't notice as she pulled her by the elbow across the room. Once past the crowd she saw her father smiling up at her. The others stood and gave her a clap. Jean, Scott, Bobby, Rogue, Peter and even Kitty were all present. And another she didn't recognize. A tale burly man with glasses and his hair tied back in a pony tail. He pushed the glasses up the bridge of his nose as Ororo went to his side and he gave her a wink.
"Henry?" Hannah questioned.
Ororo patted his chest, "Isn't it great?"
Henry didn't seem as thrilled.
"I had no idea you could change like that." Hannah was still somewhat shocked by his appearance.
"I can't. It's a serum that lasts about 12 hours. I don't particularly care for it, but every once in awhile an occasion comes along that I don't feel I can miss. And this seemed like one of those moments. I'm not sure even Manhattan is ready to socialize with a furry blue creature."
"I'm flattered. It's wonderful seeing you all here." Her eyes rested on Kitty for a second and Kitty turned her head away. So there were still some hard feelings there. Hannah continued covering her hand. Not wanting the attention placed there at all.
But her hands were at her father's eye level and as she chatted with the others, he watched her fidgeting. Many people had nervous habits and surely Hannah was nervous but this was not something he had ever witnessed from her and wondered what she was hiding.
When she finally reached him, he quickly replaced the concern with a smile reaching for her hand. Hannah hesitated. She gave him her right hand and slipped the left behind her back. Charles didn't miss anything but knew better than to question her here. He squeezed her hand, "I've never been so proud. The Rachmoninov was especially impressive. The audience was hanging on every note. You had them in the palm of your hand."
"You're a little prejudice, don't you think?"
"Slightly."
She leaned down and kissed his cheek, forgetting about her hand, she placed it on his shoulder. "I'm so glad you were here. It means the world to me."
It was Ororo that noticed the ring and moved quickly to her side removing her hand from the professor's shoulder, "What is this?" She held it up and everyone stared at her. "He asked you to marry him?"
Hannah was unsure if her comment was one of shock or anger. The tone was indifferent. She looked at all their faces and it was Henry's that her eyes lingered on the longest. None of them looked pleased. Finally, Scott chirped in, trying to erase the silence, "Hannah, that's great. Graham is a terrific guy."
She felt embarrassed, her heart started to race and she had nothing to say. Why did she feel she was betraying all of them? Her eyes met her fathers and she saw a concern there, she never expected. Her voice seemed to have vanished. There was nothing to say. Luckily, she felt a familiar hand wrap around her waist and a gentle kiss on the cheek, "Darling, there you are. Thought I might find you hiding in a corner with familiar faces. The crowd is a tad bit overwhelming." He looked up and acknowledged the professor and the others, but didn't receive a welcome reaction just stunned faces. Not knowing what had transpired within the past few minutes, he was confused.
Hannah turned to him, taking his hand, whispering into his ear, "Please take me away from here. Now."
Being the English gentleman that he was he turned to the others, "Hope you don't mind, but Hannah is needed elsewhere. There are some people I want her to meet."
The professor spoke, "By all means. We'll catch up with you two later."
Hannah practically pulled him away from the table. Once they made it to the far end of the room he questioned her, "What was that all about? If looks could kill…"
"They saw the ring."
"And?"
"Graham, clearly no one is happy about it."
"Are you happy about it?"
"Yes, but that isn't the point."
"In my mind, that is the only point. This is about you and me."
She wanted to say, there was more to it than that. Henry's glare a few minutes before was evident of that. He knew what she was doing. Marrying to cover the pregnancy. And the others, well, she had no idea what was going on in there minds but the reaction was horrible. She felt another headache and Graham quickly led her to a door to get some fresh air.
She took in a few deep breaths and began to control the jumble in her head. Graham took hold of both of her hands facing her. Softly he repeated, "Deep breaths, focus." He had witnessed many of these moments over the past few months and each time with his calming demeanor the bouts seemed shorter.
She opened her eyes and Graham sighed, knowing that it was over. He stroked her cheek, "They're getting better."
"Because of you. You keep me calm and allow me to focus." She placed her own hand on his cheek, "I'm being ridiculous, I know."
"You're being human. Ooops, forgot…you're mutant. But then I suppose mutants even have those moments."
She smiled, "Many of them. It just wasn't the way I wanted them to find out."
"They'll get use to it. And they'll be happy for you."
"But you're right, this is about us and none of that matters."
Graham knew she had really resigned to that philosophy. It did matter to her.
On the other side of the room…
The professor excused himself from the table.
Once he was out of sight, Ororo turned to Henry, "He's devastated. Hannah didn't even consult him. I can't imagine what he's going through right now. I can't believe she's seriously going to marry him."
"I thought you liked the guy."
"I do but it's too soon."
Henry saw Hannah's well thought out plan. This way everyone would believe the child she was carrying was Graham's. She was repeating her mother's mistakes. But it was out of their hands. "It's none of our business." Henry stated but clearly it was disturbing him too.
She then turned to Jean, "You can read her mind. What is she thinking rushing into this?"
Jean had read her mind and was leery of stating what she saw there. "Henry is right, it's none of our business. She's a grown woman."
Kitty was livid, "She just stopped loving Logan just like that? I hate her. How could she be so horrible to him?"
Jean put her arm around Kitty, "She hasn't stopped loving Logan, Kitty."
They all stared at Jean.
"Alright, so I had a peek in there."
Henry was wondering if she knew about the baby.
"Look, all I know is the minute she came over to us she felt Logan was missing. She wanted to see him here."
"But she's marrying that guy." Kitty was still mad.
"Maybe Hannah wants a normal life. Graham is perfect for her. You've all said that."
"I haven't." Kitty crossed her hands across her chest.
"So that's all you saw?" Ororo questioned.
The professor came back and eyed his students knowing what they were talking about, "Enough of your assumptions. We all need to support Hannah in this decision. She obviously feels Graham is the right man. He's been good to her and she cares for him deeply."
"She cares about Logan more, I know it." Kitty piped in and Peter put his hand over her mouth. She struggled free, "She does. And you sent him away, Professor. This wouldn't be happening if you wouldn't have sent him away. It's a rebound, right? Is that what you call it?" She looked over at Rogue who was shaking her head. Kitty tended to ramble at the worst times.
"I have no reason to believe this is a rebound, Kitty. Graham and Hannah are well suited to each other. We all know that Logan could never give Hannah what she needs."
"A normal life? Maybe she doesn't want normal. Maybe she loved Logan because it was exciting and passionate. And now she's settling for Mr. Boring."
"That will be enough, Kitty."
"He plays the piano. That's it. It's boring." Peter pulled her away from the table, "Where are you taking me?"
"Home." He then turned to the professor, "Hope you don't mind, but some children should be in bed by now."
"Thank you, Peter. I believe that is a wise decision."
Rogue and Bobby joined them, "I think we will head back too. I've got a science paper to finish for Monday."
With the younger members gone, Jean laid a hand on the professor's shoulder, "Are you alright?"
"I don't want to lose her again, Jean."
"You aren't going to lose her again."
But the professor wasn't so certain.
The following day in Madripor…
Logan had fallen asleep with the headphones on, listening to Hannah's CD. He began imagining sitting in the audience in his tux. She had wanted to see him in a tux. Why he would never understand but women liked a guy all gussied up for some reason. And he liked thinking about her straightening his bow tie, her hands slinking down his jacket lapels, slipping a hand inside his shirt and stroking his chest. These images didn't stop. They continued to the backstage dressing room where he would deliver the flowers in person, lock the door behind him and take her into his arms. Not wasting any time the gown would be removed. Ripping it off would be faster but it was probably expensive and would have some sentimental value for her, so he'd have to do it the conventional way. Backing her against the door, straddling her on the floor were all possibilities. Hannah liked being taken by surprise. She liked his sexual prowess and responded well to any advances. These thoughts weren't helping but they stayed with him all night. Endless tossing and turning, sexual frustration beyond comprehension and being incredibly turned on by his over active imagination, he chose a cold shower first thing in the morning to get his senses back in order.
The kitchen table that morning was covered with English papers. Yukio would go down to the corner shop and pick them up every weekend. It had become tradition. Amiko loved riffling through them to practice her English. She was pretty much fluent now but still found words she would look up in the huge dictionary Logan had brought her from the states last year. She loved the challenge. Logan also enjoyed scanning the articles for names and faces he recognized and news of what was happening back in the states.
When he arrived at the kitchen table, eggs and bacon were dished out and Amiko began chattering about some of the words she had found this morning in the paper.
Blocking out her consistent babble he dug into the eggs with gusto. There was a least one type of hunger he could satisfy.
Amiko was still skimming through the papers, "It's professor Xavier, Logan. Look he's in the paper."
Logan looked up; curious of his ward's find, "Really? Not any crisis is it? Or does he just have some new charity he's supporting this week."
Amiko continued to read and then saw the other picture accompanying the article and quickly folded the paper in half. "Nothing. It's nothing. Boring stuff." She tried burying the paper below the others, before Logan's hand slammed down on it, holding it in place.
He knew his ward only to well. Nothing got past him. "Give me the paper."
She tried pulling against him but knew it was useless. "I said it was nothing."
"You're hiding it from me, so it's something."
"Maybe it is a crisis and she doesn't want you to be running off again." Yukio sat in the chair next to Amiko and gave her a pat, "This Xmen thing is never easy for any of us."
He looked over at Amiko, "Darlin, you know I'll always come back. But if something is happening and I could help, I need to know."
"You can't help this time, Logan. Please don't look at the paper. Please," she pleaded as her eyes became clouded with tears.
"Darlin, what is it? What has you so worked up?" He managed to get the paper away from her and found she was looking at the social page, not the news. It didn't take him long to see what she had hoped to keep from him.
An engagement. Hannah Masterson and Graham Eastborne announced their engagement at the after party of Miss Masterson's successful New York debut. Concentrating on a European tour in the coming year, they have yet to set a date for the impending nuptials.
He sat very still as the anger inside started to build up. He felt that berserker rage, the one he couldn't control surfacing. She had moved on. She didn't wait. Amiko looked over at him her mouth agape, frightened that his temper may not hold up. Yukio didn't know what was going on. But she felt trouble.
She gave Amiko a pat on the head, "Sweetie, why don't you go downstairs and see if Mrs. Chu needs anything. You know how she likes to see you on Sunday mornings. You could read to her."
"But, I should stay."
Logan still had not budged. He was staring into space, his breathing heavy, his eyebrows furrowing, his lips curled into a grimace.
"Go now." Yukio only to aware of how he could blow at any minute.
He grunted and his lips moved, he clenched his fists. Amiko jumped out of her chair and headed for the door. Just as it shut behind her, Logan rose from his chair, picking up the plate. He threw it at the door, then turned to Yukio.
"What are you looking at?"
"Nothing."
She moved towards the sink where she began washing dishes, knowing that you stayed out of his face and let him throw his fit, work it out on his own. But she was surprised when he grabbed her by the wrist turning her around. She didn't like the look in his eyes. He had never hurt her physically, and she was pretty sure he never would but there was always a first time. Whatever set him off was big and he was really pissed off. She remained calm and said nothing.
The facial expression changed from anger to something sinister and evil. He gave her a smirk, "You sent Amiko away. You think I might hurt her."
"I don't think you would ever hurt her."
"But I could. I could hurt you." His face was now barely an inch from hers.
"But I don't think you will," she stated calmly, keeping very still.
"What do you think I'll do?"
"I don't know."
With a quick jerk, he pulled her through the house. She didn't fight him, his grip was tight and she could feel it cutting through her skin. Pulling her into the bedroom he had been absent from for months and threw her onto the bed. She lay perfectly still as he stood over her, his heart racing, his breathing heavy. "It's time I moved back into my bedroom." He unzipped his pants, "It's time things got back to normal around here."
She was used to him, in these moods. There was no love involved, just an animalistic need that took over when the rage got the better of him. In seconds her clothes were ripped from her body and he grunted and groaned as he thrusted inside her over and over again. It was crude and degrading, but she let it happen. If this was the only way she would have him then so be it. Closing her eyes, she imagined another scenario; one that involved the passionate love between a man and a woman. He would do anything for her and couldn't keep his hands off her. This was how she coped.
Once finished he rolled off her and onto his side. Nothing was said. Turning towards him she placed a loving hand on his back. He didn't push it off but he didn't acknowledge it either. For Logan there was no satisfaction, no relief, only a sadness of losing something so dear to him. He had lost her.
Logan had fallen off buildings, out of planes. He had been ambushed by hundreds of knife wielding ninjas and faced death over and over again. The pain never ended. It was real. But those instances didn't hold a candle to what his body was experiencing right now. The emptiness inside him was unbearable. He had let someone in, something he swore he would never do again. And now, once again, he would have to pull himself out of this state and forge ahead. It hadn't been easy then and he knew damn well this time it could possible be worse.