For all the Jacob fans out there, I have just decided Jacob WILL appear later on in this story. I'm all for Edward and Jacob showdown, so lets see how things turn out.

Disclaimer: I'm obligated to state the painful fact that I own none of the Twilight characters… but one can dream right?

I had proved myself to be a lot tougher than I originally thought this afternoon. Watching Blair kill and then drink the wolves dry was without a doubt not for the light-hearted.

I think it was pretty hot.

Though I wouldn't say that out loud… It would be too disturbing –Even coming from me.

"So, Bones, it seems you're mine for the evening" I smiled in her direction not minding the road ahead of us.

"Is Bella too chicken to stand the sight of blood?"

"Very. But don't taunt her; she's very self-conscious about it." And she was. How was she supposed to become one of us if the sole smell of blood puts her on the edge?

"No worries, I wouldn't do that" Blair rolled her eyes before staring out the window and into the wilderness. Despite her gesture I'm hoping she's serious about not mocking Bella. Edward doesn't need another reason not to like her. They've been going on each others throats since the first day. It's starting to get ridiculous. "Say, Big Guy…Why Bones?"

"It's my pet name for you –Since you seem to have one for everybody. Bones Barker, sounds very serial killer to me" I sniggered figuring her expression was less than amused. I decided to keep my eyes on the road for this one.

"I'm not a serial killer, dude" She was scowling now. I didn't even have to look. She always does.

"The pack of wolves you are currently digesting begs to differ…"

"Very funny, smartass" With that she punched me hard on the shoulder almost making me loose control of The Jeep. Yes, The Jeep. I love my car and I'll guard it with my life if I have to. Bones was pissed earlier today because I had her stand next to The Jeep until the blood dried on her clothes and there was no chance she would get any stains on my beautiful, beautiful Jeep. I told her she could take her clothes off…yeah she wasn't too eager to do it.

Joining Blair for hunting this past three days has been a very entertaining experience. Unlike the rest of my family, she's not always focused on the blood. No matter how thirsty she is there's still enough sanity within her to actually make conversation; which is nice for a change, especially when she has to drink every single day. I can say I have grown fond of her –Unlike Edward who hates her guts.

I pulled over at the house noticing Edward's car was parked in the drive way. I wonder how he's going to react when he sees Blair. That should be interesting…

As she usually did when she got off The Jeep, or any other car for that matter, she slammed the door shut. Stupid newborn strength.

"Hey watch it, woman! How many times do I have to-"

"Yeah I know I know FEAR THE JEEP bla bla bla… Get over it, man! It's just a car!" She retorted in the most goaded tone she could manage. Given her low pitched voice it almost made me feel idiotic. I decided not to argue with her, since we all know that's a waste of time. Just as I was about to open the front door I was able to hear a certain commotion going on inside. Strangely, said commotion appeared to be led by a very pissed Edward Cullen. Edward is not one to cause commotion so this might actually be something good. Okay, here it goes… I opened the door to find Edward complaining to Jasper, who seemed had ceased to listen to him.

"I HATE THIS! Every time I try to read her mind I keep getting unicorns! Fluffy, pink, girly unico-" He stopped cold as soon as he got a look at Blair.

"Major nosebleed" She grinned like a loon as she entered the house, not only mocking the look on Edward's face but apparently having the time of her life with the unicorn thing. "I'm gonna go change, E-guy. After that we can get started with our Dudes night out"

Just when I thought we were not getting the usual showdown Blair stopped at the base of the staircase and looked back at Edward with a face that can only be describes as pure mischief "Oh, and Eddy, maybe next time I'll make it baby ducks, 'kay?"

Damn her…

"You loathsome demon woman! I SWEAR I'M GONNA TWIST YOU NECK TILL YOUR HEAD POPS OFF!" Edward took a menacing step toward the staircase ready to take a blow at Blair. As expected I grabbed hold of Edward before things got out of hand. She just kept climbing those stairs and humming making Edward's fury worse.

"Jasper, would you please do something?"

"How do you think I've been trying to get him to shut up for the last hour? It's not working."

"Edward, stop it! She's a lady" Alice conveniently stepped in. After a few seconds he was calm. Apparently the gentleman in him had won again… but for how long?

"Alice, I'm figuring she has nothing to wear, would you please go help her?" As I said that Alice's eyes glistened in delight knowing this called for yet another of her famous makeovers. She nodded and left the room ready to force her beauty tips on Bones. "And you Edward, you need to control yourself; I am the one who's supposed to lose it every now and then, not you."

"Whatever…" Stubborn bastard, "Anyway, what did happen to her? No, wait, I don't care. Where's Bella?"

"At work, I know better than to get her near anything blood related. Poor girl's probably afraid of her own period." Exactly what I was telling Blair not to do, I deserve to be hanged. Oh well, Bella was not even there.

"Very funny jackass… Who's taking care of Blair then?"

"I am. Didn't you hear? Dudes night out." I was still undecided as to where I should take her. Besides hunting I haven't been around her too much. I guess it'll be fun to get to know her better.

"Yes, I'm afraid I did hear that." Whatever he meant by that I decided to ignore, I was distracted by the most astonishing image I had seen in a long time. With all of god's grace in her every movement Blair walked downstairs dressed to kill –Or at least good enough to give someone a heart attack. She was wearing a blue tank top, slightly bleached jeans and a very tight leather jacket. Her hair, for once, was combed, organized into slight waves. The heavy eyeliner that seemed to be permanently tattooed to her eyes was now a clean line and not just a blur. Alice really outdid herself this time.

"What do you think guys? Blue is definitely her color." All Alice got as a response was blank stares, except from Edward who left the room muttering something about stupid baby ducklings. I washed my eyes over Blair, was this really the girl who just a while ago was running around the woods with a blood stained white Rolling Stones t-shirt and torn jeans? It was hard to believe it.

"Wow Blondie looks impressed, you made me pretty didn't you?"

"Guess I did" Alice motioned proudly towards Jasper and took her legitimate place on his lap.

"Emmet close your mouth you're drooling" Bones was looking at me. And apparently I was staring at her; naturally I looked away in embarrassment. She grinned. "So, where are we going?"

Good question. She was all dressed up, and it was not likely I would ever see her like that again, so I had to take her somewhere nice… Perhaps Clubbing?

"No." Alice said out loud. Surely she had already seen the disaster that might cause.

Bowling?

"She'll kick your ass"

Movie?

"Guess again"

The Fair?

"Ding ding ding! We've got a winner!" Bless Alice and her psychic self.

So it was settled then, we were going to the Port Angeles Fair. I didn't even have to ask Blair if she wanted to go, Alice probably already had the whole evening foreseen so there was nothing to worry about. We hit the road a few hours before nightfall so we could ride the wheel of fortune right at sunset. Corny shit I know, but I just love the colors of twilight.

"Hey Bones, may I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"What exactly do you do to Edward?" I stared at her suspiciously; I had been trying to figure it out on my own. No luck.

"Well, let's just keep it simple and say, I can sort of put thoughts in other people's heads, but only if I know what they are thinking. Since Edward is always thinking what everyone else including me is thinking it's easy to replace my thoughts in his head with something more… annoying"

"You're evil"

"You're welcome" She grinned. "Now… may I ask you something?" Her voice was careful, almost embarrassed. I nodded. "What exactly is this Fair you speak of?"

"Well, it's like any other Fair" I looked at her from my place on the wheel, her face was clueless, "You know, they have rides and stuff. Have you never been to a fair before?"

"Umm… no"

"What? Are you serious? Your parents never took you to the local fair?"

"No they didn't! Why is that so fucking surprising, man?!"

"Hey no need to get defensive. It's just that most parents take their kids to the fair when they're young, I had never met anyone who hadn't been to one"

"My parents are… something else" There was anger in her voice. I could only imagine why.

"Oh, I get it… bad relationship?"

"Doesn't even begin to cover it" She snorted.

"That bad?"

"You bet. You see… My mom is detestable, horrible, and far too strict for her own good. My father… well, he's never been much of a father. I lived in Canada before I moved to Seattle. I left home as soon as I turned 19…" Blair crossed her legs on her seat. Her filthy shoes were ruining The Jeep's leather but I decided to let it slide since she appeared to be ready to tell a story. "I have two sisters you know, Alison and Cameron. Camy is a hardcore lesbian and Ally's a part time hooker" I shot my eyes at her at that last thing "Okay, she's not really a hooker. She's a dancer, but she sleeps around so there's really no difference. Anyway, Cameron's the oldest. She had to move out when she was sixteen since my mom wouldn't have a lesbian living under her roof. My dad didn't care. Alison is the youngest and still lives at home, she's eighteen now and mom thinks she's the perfect kid, of course she has no clue her beloved child smokes whatever she can light up. My father's way to drunk to give a shit. That's how fucked up my parents are. But its okay I guess, I have a grate relationship with my sisters. Ever since Cameron turned eighteen, Ally and I have traveled to Florida to stay with her for the summer. Last time we were there Camy suggested we should all move to the same city. 'Cause you know, Alison's in Canada, Cameron in Florida and I used to be in Seattle. They agreed to move to Washington next summer for my 21st birthday… I can't believe I'm gonna miss that." There was some faint sadness in her voice but she was not about to cry.

"Wow, I wish I had been like that with my siblings. You know, when I was alive." I turned away from her remembering how bad my relationship with my brothers and sisters was. I sort of regret it now. "You forgot to say… were you stood in your family" For a moment there I thought I heard low giggles, but she wasn't laughing.

"Me? I'm the college drop-out –Suspected junky, suspected whore, suspected vandal, and suspected thief. But really, I was none of those things. I have never done drugs, I died a virgin, I've never vandalized anything, and I have never ever stolen –At least not when I was alive. My mom just thought I did. You know, when someone who's supposed to love you so much thinks you're the worst scum on the face of the earth there's nowhere to go from there. She could've broken my spirit but no, I'm tougher than that. Now that I remember, the only thing I did do on a fairly regular basis and strangely enough was not accused of doing was drinking. How I miss drinking…" She sighted and smiled.

"Drinking?"

"Yes, nothing can go wrong when you've got a double scotch by your side" She smiled. I always knew she was a drinker. She has that sort of Jack Sparrow thing to her personality. Though unlike Capitan Jack, Bones has the perfect smile. Funny I should notice that just now.

I pulled over a few blocks away from the fair hoping to get Bones to cover her eyes so I could surprise her. But no, Bones wouldn't do it. It was fun to see the slight changes in her face as we got near. The closer we were to the flaring colorful lights, the more she seemed like a five year old. Suddenly she was walking fast and pulling my hand. I was surprised by how soft her hand was. Even after tearing thick wolf's skin open her hands were as soft as a baby's ass.

After a few hours the cuteness in her excitement wore off. We had ridden almost every ride known to man at least three times. Even the love tunnel –Which was very awkward. It was like riding it with my grandmother… if she was a complete lunatic and had the persisting urge to poke Cupid's ass of course. Damn you Alice. Damn you and your psychic self. Subsequent to my insisting whining about being tired I finally got Bones to sit on a bench with me on the condition that I had to buy her cotton candy. Why in the world would she want cotton candy is beyond me. She knows she's gonna have to cough it out sooner or later. I figured I had less than two minutes before she had me running to whatever ride she might believe needs to be ridden once more to be fully appreciated so I really took my time to sit back an relax. At least until…

"Emmet will you marry me?"

I stared down at her in horror. Her cotton candy filled mouth was grinning back at me. My eyes almost popped out of their sockets. Horror I tell you! Pure, crude, horror. I started grudgingly pondering what married life with Blair Barker might turn out to be… All I can say is that I thought thought's I didn't even thought I could think. Since I couldn't formulate a decent thought I answered in the softest most controlled way I could manage.

"WHAT?!" I squealed. You don't deserve your balls... I thought to my self after successfully throwing all of my manhood away with that squeal.

"Not for real, moron!" She pointed at a tiny chapel where a couple of toddlers were getting married.

"Oh, right, the chapel, of course" I sniggered nervously at my stupidity. "Isn't that for little kids? You should grow up Bones…" Look at me, speaking all grown up and stuff. I need my manhood back.

"Why the hell would I wanna do that? Let's go Big Macho!" And on with the newborn strength. She pulled on my arm like a bulldozer on well… mostly anything. I felt my manhood slipping away from me once again. Excuse me, but I'm supposed to be the strong one here!

So there I was, after my make-believe wedding, wearing my make-believe ring, riding the wheel of fortune with my make-believe wife. Life at that moment was… peachy.

As we were sitting on the highest point of the wheel I remembered how badly I wanted to share sunset with Blair, and maybe perhaps explain to her the importance of it in vampire life. Just my luck I looked up at the horizon to see it was exactly that time of the day –The saddest moment of it, but still, my favorite. I recall the first time I asked Rosalie to marry me. That was the most amazing sunset I have ever seen. Maybe it was the fact that I was with her that made it so beautiful, or maybe it was the fact that she said yes. Whatever reason there was I don't think I'll ever see a sunset that amazing ever again. I would kill to have another sunset with Rosalie, even if it had to be my last one ever. At this point in my life, I can sort of relate to sunset, everything seems as if I'm stuck at nightfall forever. The sun's not shining but it's not getting any darker either. I'm not completely miserable but I can't be completely happy. I hope with time I'll move on to something, whether its day or night, depression or happiness, anything is fine by me. Until now I had never wanted to escape twilight so badly.

There was a certain pressure on my shoulder which distracted me from my thoughts. I looked down to see Blair leaning on me. She might have felt me move because she shot her big topaz eyes in my direction as soon as I looked down. Normally her eyes seem harsh and unfriendly but now, it was as if she was the most innocent creature on the planet. Twilight has that effect on people, perhaps it has something to so with the lighting.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Her voice was heartbreaking, almost as if twilight had the same production on her that it did on me. She needed no explanations about twilight, she already knew it all.

There's still a lot I don't know about Blair and looking into her eyes right now I'm eager to find out. I know she's not all lunacy; someone who walks around with those eyes can't be all that crazy. There's something else about her… Something I've made my mission to find out.

My lack of an answer to her question made whatever was in her eyes turn to reluctance.

"Do you want me to move?"

"No, stay…"

--

The fair was fun. No, it was grate! More fun that I've had in a long time. I poked Cupid's behind and married Emmet. All in one afternoon. I had a big day. I'm still choking out that cotton candy, though. It's very distasteful.

I have no comment on the ride at corny shitty nightfall. I softened myself a bit too much there. Won't let it happen again. It was fun I guess, and he was a big softie too so it probably doesn't matter.

"Eddy, are you mad at me because of the duckys? You can't be mad at me, we're family"

"The hell we are. That's not even a real ring" Edward snorted while getting ready to watch The Godfather… again. We've watched this a zillion times this week…a different more updated movie would be nice.

"Edward!" Bella glared at him "Be nice" A low snarl came from Ed's throat. I winked at him ready to send a shitload of ducklings and unicorns on him.

Life is peachy.

I ran upstairs before Edward finally went through with sending my sorry ass to the depths of hell. I'm always safe in Emmet's room, or should I say our room? We've been sharing it for a week so it's probably too soon. Edward never goes in –He knows it's like Dante's seven circle of hell in there. No kidding. I knocked before going in. Blondie had to take me hunting today because Emmet has been locked up in his room since yesterday. He won't let anyone in either.

I was quite surprised when he answered the door.

"What's up?" He stepped out of the room closing the door behind him.

"What's up with you, man? You've been in there since yesterday!" I tried to walk past him and into the room but he stepped in my way. "You mind?" I scowled.

"Umm… no absolutely not" He stepped aside and opened the door for me. "I've been doing some remodeling"

He was serious. He had been doing some remodeling. Not even the Extreme Makeover Team could pull off something like this. Dante's Inferno had been vanished from Emmet's room and what remained was well… it just wasn't Emmet's room. The dull white walls which had framed the chaos that was this room when I got here (and had returned to be after I cleaned it) were gone; a light blue tint was now all over them. The bathroom was gone. Obviously because the huge monstrosity that was that bathroom really served no purpose apart from showering. I keep wondering, are we vampires supposed to shower? Because I keep doing it, I'm not sure if everyone else does. Anyway, where the bathroom used to be there was now a desk with a laptop on top of it, a lamp, a navy blue couch, and a closet among other things. Next to the closet there was another door which I hoped led to a showerhead. I glanced at the other side of the room, the bed was still there, the shelves with Emmet's crap were still there, his desk with his laptop was there, and even his hideous black leather couch was there. It seemed that only the right side of the room had changed.

"What's with all of this? Don't tell me you're going through one of those episodes?" I glowered at him thinking it really was possible he was loosing it.

"Get serious Bones. That right there," He pointed to the right side of the room "That is you side of the room. I wasn't sure what you do or how you do it so I just bought the basics, you are free to fill your side with whatever shit you like, like I said, it's you side. Do whatever you want with it."

"You're just trying to get away from cleaning aren't you?"

"Well this is my side, if I want to live in a filthy hellhole I can do so, your side can be as clean as you want it to be" He grinned "Just kidding Bones, I was just trying to do something nice"

"You… you're insane! You really shouldn't have. How much did all of this cost you?!" I glanced at what apparently were now my things, "How am I ever going to pay for this?"

"Don't worry about it, consider it a gift, from a friend to a friend"

"Friends give each other candy and shit not a new room! I mean look at that thing!" I pointed at the shiny new laptop "That must've cost you a fortune!"

"Come on Blair! You know money is not an issue with us"

"That's right I forgot you're richer than god…" I sat on my new couch rubbing my eyes. Rich people are crazy.

"But still not richer than Edward…" He whispered.

"I HEARD THAT!" I glared at him intensely.

"Blair, just enjoy. I just wanted to do something nice for you okay? Besides, I can't return any of this… at least not without spending more money" Emmet rolled his eyes. More money? That could only mean one thing.

"OH MY GOD! DO NOT TELL ME THIS SHIT'S IMPORTED!" I darted up from the couch afraid I would get any stains on it.

"Relax Blair!" He pushed me back down on the couch and sat beside me with his hands on my sides making sure I wasn't going anywhere. After a few minutes I was able to calm myself down. Just be cool, there's nothing you can do about it now…

"Fine, I'm calm. Just… next time you wanna buy something for me go to Wal-Mart or something okay?" I sighted.

"Fine." Emmet you asshole. I sat down in silence for a moment and then started inspecting my room. I opened some of the drawers and then confirmed that the door beside the closet was in fact a showerhead. A big one at that. Speaking of closet… what's in there? My hands were barely touching the door handle when Emmet stopped me cold by putting his hand over mine. I looked up at him. God he was too close.

"Before you open that door, you must know I got Alice to buy you some clothes. Don't thank her she should be thanking you she loves shopping. Bye!" And with that he was out of the room figuring I would yell at him some more. Oh he was so right! I opened the door; this was one hell of a big ass closet. All the price tags were gone so I couldn't check the prices. By the looks of them they probably were all very expensive. Damn, rich people really are crazy…

I was about to go after him when I stumbled against the desk and dropped a picture frame I apparently had missed when I first inspected the room. It was next to the laptop, it asked to be ignored. I picked it up to take a closer look at the portrait. I was hoping for a picture of a baby or whatever illustration happened to come with the frame. Instead there were two people in the picture. One of them was smiling like a damn fool and leaning on the other one who had an arm around her and was just smirking. It was a good picture; Balloons were flying in the background and a bunch of kids were visible by the couple's side. It took me a while to realize it was a picture of Emmet and me. I barely recalled when that picture was taken, we were at the fair and a man was taking pictures of the couples who got off the Love Tunnel. I didn't know Emmet had bought it from him.

This is cute, I almost said out loud. Suddenly I felt warm inside.

Fine. I'll enjoy.

--

We all knew what Emmet was doing. He likes to pretend he's Handy Andy every now and then. He did this for Rosalie once, only that time Rosalie paid for everything.

I told him Blair was not going to be thrilled with this. But unfortunately he's a stubborn ass. I should remind him when a psychic tells you something is going to happen it's very likely it will. Too bad I know he won't listen. Not because I'm a psychic but because he never does. Well, at least I got to shop for her; maybe he was just trying to shut me up. I'll have to ask Edward.

Speaking of Edward I'll also have to ask him what Emmet's trying to pull off by doing this? I mean, what I'm trying to say is that Emmet is a thoughtful guy, he really is. He's thoughtful but not selfless; he wouldn't willingly give up half of his room and part of his bathroom unless he was trying to get something out of it. So there's something for me to find out. It's not really my busyness but I have to do something with all of my extra time.

Not even fifteen minutes had passed since Blair had gone upstairs when Emmet was already running down. I was sure to greet him with the biggest smile in my repertory.

"I told you so" I said in a singsong voice.

"Bella I need to talk to you, fast." What is he doing? Is he seriously planning on...? "I want to take over as Bones' babysitter." And there he goes again. Like I say, he's not selfless, so why is he doing this?

"Take over? As in I'm free?"

"Yeah"

"Well, sure, if Edward doesn't mind" Bella looked at Edward since he had been the one who assigned her to take care of Blair in the first place.

"Go ahead, as long as you keep her away from me longer than usual…"

"I'll make sure that happens"

"Then she's all yours" Edward went back to watching the movie.

"It's settled then" God, Doesn't anyone else think this is weird?

"I do. That doesn't mean I care." Edward said out loud. Jasper looked at me figuring Edward must have read my mind. Jasper and I have discussed the weirdness in all of this once or twice, for the lack of a better answer we've decided Emmet's just having withdrawal symptoms. After all, he has been acting weird since the whole Rosalie thing.

As I watched Emmet walk away from the living room and towards the kitchen I figured it was time to ask him personally.

"What's going on?" I asked him while he washed his paint stained hands.

"Just washing some paint off my hands…"

"Come on Emmet you know what I mean!"

"No, I don't." He looked back at me. Clearly he did know.

"Giving up part of you room? Giving up all of your time? That's not you"

"I'm just trying to be nice"

"You've been more than nice" I sat on kitchen counter or the lack of a better place to sit, the chairs in this kitchen make me feel like I'm two inches tall, they're enormous.

"And what exactly is so wrong with that?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to figure out what you're trying to get out of this…" I rolled my eyes at him.

"What I'm trying to got out of this?!" He growled. "Hasn't it occurred to you that maybe I'm just trying to sympathize and make friends with the only person in this fucking house whose as lonely as I am?! Am I all that fucking selfish? I thought you knew me better than that." He stomped out of the room looking very fumed and pissed the hell out. I had touched a sore spot. I should've known he was lonely. He's just making a friend. That was so obvious it didn't seem possible.

I was just about to step out of the kitchen when I was swept off my feet by a very unexpected vision.

What the-? Is this really…? Would he seriously…? NO WAY!!

Oh well, in the end it would be a win-win situation I guess…

I just hope neither of them gets hurt.

"JASPER! GET YOU ASS IN HERE I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"

Well that's enough for now. Everything in this chapter was totally unplanned; it's not what I was hoping to write at all. I decided to make inventory night a separate chapter; by the looks of it it's going to be a very fun one. Oh well, it'll take me a month or so to update 'cause I'm going out of town.

Any thoughts? Please review (:
Feedback is always appreciated.

See you next chapter,
Auf Wiedersehen.