Disclaimer- Everything that you recognize, characters and all, belongs to JK Rowling. Everything you don't recognize belongs to me, including the plot.
Author's Note- I suppose it's been a long time since I've last posted but oh well. I sort of got caught up with summer I guess. Here is the third chapter and enjoy!
By Sun and Candle Light
Chapter Three: Breath, Smiles, and Tears
Sirius walked up to the common room, laughing with his friends. They had this weekly routine of sneaking up onto the roof and enjoying a round of butter beers late at night.
"Exactly." Sirius said, draping his arm around James's shoulder. "Now, I know exactly what you're going through, mate. It's like every time I try to talk to her, I get really nervous or turn into an ass hole. It's hopeless-"
Sirius stopped short when he saw Deirdre sleeping in the big loveseat by the fire. She had her transfiguration book lying open on the coffee table with what he assumed was the homework that was due the next day. Her long hair was pulled into a braid and she was wearing a short, skimpy violet nightgown with a white bathrobe over top.
James smirked at him. "Close your mouth, man. I realize that that's a bit more exposed skin than you've seen on her but really, you're nearly drooling."
"Yeah, mate." Remus said, walking towards the boy's dormitory. "Try to control yourself."
"I think we'll leave you to your flirting, now. Good luck." James gestured towards Deirdre and dragged Peter up to bed.
Sirius turned back to Deirdre, and found himself gaping absentmindedly at her curves. He tried desperately to stop but couldn't help it; he was a man after all.
Over the summer, all Sirius thought about was Deirdre. He found himself eagerly awaiting her letters so that he could hear her familiar voice. He dreamed about her almost every night for a month, envisioning touching, and kissing, and making love to her.
After he ran away, he found it harder to write to her, not wanting to tell her about all of his pain. He stopped just a few weeks before the term began, figuring that he would explain it all to her once he saw her on the train. He played the whole thing out in his mind a hundred times. He saw her run up and hug him, and then he would tell her about leaving his mother's house. After that, he would confess his love for her and they would kiss. But so far that wasn't how it was playing out. He didn't understand why she was acting so…afraid of him. It was like they didn't know each other at all.
He bent down and lightly tapped her arm, beaming as her pretty blue eyes looked into his. "Deirdre?"
She popped up with a start, quickly moving to cover her body with her bathrobe. "Oh! Er, hello Sirius. I was just uh, doing homework and I suppose I um…dosed off." She looked at Sirius and shrugged, playing with the tie on her robe.
"Yeah…" He began, trying to think of what to say. She made Sirius, who was usually very talkative nearly speechless. "I saw you laying there and I thought I'd save you from waking up with a crick in your neck."
Deirdre smiled. "Oh-well, thanks, Sirius."
They stood there in silence for a minute until Sirius just decided to give up. "I suppose I'll go to bed then."
"No!" She said abruptly. "I mean, I wanted to talk to you about something."
Sirius nodded and sat down. She followed suit and started playing with the ties on her bathrobe again.
"Sirius, please. Please tell me, I think I deserve to know." She said. "Why did you stop writing? I kept sending you letters, but I never got any replies. There were two or three, I reckon."
Sirius shrugged and ran a hand through his black, silky hair. "I-I ran away this summer, from my mum's. It just kept getting worse in my house."
"Oh! Merlin Sirius!" Deirdre said, giving him a hug. "You could've written to me- told me you were having issues. I would've helped."
"No, you couldn't have. It all started when my mother saw that I was writing to you. You know how she is. She doesn't like any of my friends. She recognized your last name. Your parents and brother are Voldemort haters, like the biggest."
"Sirius, you should've just stopped then, I would've understood."
"I would've, but you know me…I don't like to listen, so I kept on writing. The first time she caught me, she just threatened to kill our birds. I know it sounds bad, but she'd never do that. The second time, she started saying all of this awful shit about you and your family. So I started to do it in secret. It was hard, but it worked."
"You really shouldn't have gone through all of that trouble. It wasn't worth it."
"No. I had to. I couldn't let her win. I kept on writing you when I could, and it lasted all the way until the night before I left."
"That's bloody fantastic. The letters got you kicked out. This is all my fault, I shouldn't have started sending them." Her eyes began to tear up and she put her head in her hands. Sirius pulled her to him.
"They didn't. I just got pissed and said some things that I'd wanted to say. In the end I betrayed the Black Family Line and my mother declared I was no longer her problem. She told me to have my things out by morning."
Her voice sounded broken when she spoke. "Where'd you go?"
"I flew down to James's house. His parents welcomed me with open arms and said I could stay until I finished school."
"I'm so sorry, Sirius. It all sounds terrible."
"It was, but it ended up for the better. Now I'm with people who care about me."
"Good." She sniffed, pushing away so she could wipe her eyes. It was getting late. Deirdre walked over to the window and stared into the dark.
Sirius took a deep breath and stood next to her at the big bay window. "There's one more thing, Deirdre." She looked beautiful with her hair shinning in the moonlight. "Hmmm?" She didn't move a muscle, just kept on staring into the darkness.
"I think…I think that I'm in love…with…you."
She just started smiling and turned her head to look at him. It was as if she were searching inside his soul.
Sirius started panicking. He'd no idea what to say. "I-I get it if you don't feel the same way. I just-I had to tell you…how…I feel."
She was still smiling. Did she think him a fool? He was absolutely baffled. Sirius shrugged and tried again. "I'm not exactly sure why I feel like this, because I've never had this feeling about any other girl. Ever. I just thought I'd tell you because…"
He trailed off. She was actually chuckling at him. He was annoyed now. "What? Why are you doing this to me? Do you realize that you're driving me crazy? I can't believe this-"
She put a finger up to his lips, still giggling. "Sirius, I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh, it's just I never thought I would be the one to leave Sirius Black with a lack of words."
"Yeah." He snorted. "Who'd have thought?"
Deirdre took a few steps closer to Sirius, closing the distance between them. "You know, there's a pretty effective way of saying everything you mean without using those damned words." She raised an eyebrow.
"Really?" Sirius said, putting his hands on her waist. Moving them playfully up and down her sides. "And what would that be?"
"Oh, I think you know."
She placed her hands around Sirius's next and he leaned in for the kiss. He pulled her into his embrace, squishing her small form against his. She parted her mouth, letting Sirius put his tongue in to explore. He didn't know how long it lasted, but by the time it was over Deirdre was pushed up against the window. He rubbed his jaw, which actually ached. He watched her as she put a hand to her swollen lips. This moment, everything about it, was perfect.
"Um." Sirius looked down at the floor. "I think I better go to bed." He started up the stairs to his dormitory.
"Sirius, wait!" Deirdre called, running up the steps. "Will you tell them? Your friends?"
"Uh, yeah. I just poured my soul out and kissed you. I was planning on bragging 'bout it." He grinned at her.
She scowled, putting her hands on her hips. "I guess that's okay, if you only tell them. Just make sure that they swear not to tell anyone. I want to be the first to tell my friends. And I don't think it's the best time right now, so I'm going to hold off on it for a while."
"Are you ever going to tell them? I don't think I'll be too good at a secret relationship. I'm kind of a blabber-mouth."
"Yes, I'll tell them tomorrow. Maybe tonight after dinner."
They gave each other one more hug and a kiss and went back to their rooms.
Sirius was greeted to cheers and slaps on the back.
"Well, Paddy. You sure were out there for a long time. Get a good shag back there?"
Sirius put his hand to his heart. "James! What makes you think that I, Hogwart's #1 Sex God, would take advantage of that poor girl? I have a bit more class than that."
"You were back there for long enough!" Remus said, punching Sirius in the arm.
"Seriously, no pun intended, I really don't want to screw this one up. I'm not messing with her because I really care about her. So if you could keep the sexual jokes to a minimum that would be great. It might help me out." He wasn't joking around anymore, his friends could tell by his earnest expression.
"By the way, she wants to keep this a secret for a few days. I don't know why, but you guys can't tell anyone." He held his hand out so they could all shake on the agreement.
"Merlin." James said, releasing a low whistle.
"Yeah. Bloody hell, Sirius." Remus said. He slumped back in his seat.
"What? What's wrong?" Peter asked. He was obviously feeling out of the loop.
"That, Wormtail," James said, pointing at Sirius. "That is a man in love."
"When did you start growing up?" Remus asked.
Sirius shrugged. "It's hard to tell, Moony. It had to happen though, I guess."
All of the boys nodded, passing around a flask of Fire Whiskey.
"Two down," James said. "Two to go." He motioned towards Remus and Peter.
"Right. With whom shall we pair you two?" Sirius laughed. The boys spent their last half hour on the train talking about suitors for the two marauders that were not in love. It may have been just innocent joking just then, but who knows how the tide will turn?
Author's Note #2- Sorry. That ending line was really lame. I couldn't figure out what to say. Damn.