Done as a tribute to Ministry Agent – the first ever Gunslinger Girl fanfic writer, and the originator of the groundbreaking idea that Claes secretly harbors a desire to let her hair down and go wild under that prim and proper exterior. Money Shots is a timeless classic – required reading for every Gunslinger Girl fan.
Plugs here for A Picture Is Worth Your Life, Terminator Claes: Gunslinger Girl and The German Shepard II: Hillshire Strikes Back by Sheo Darren, whom I consider the finest author in our community. His magnum opus, Life Goes On, is unquestionably the greatest Gunslinger Girl story ever written. Check out his work, people, and be spellbound.
The 'bad mistakes' bit Triela sings about is a nod to Innocence by Colonel Marksman. There's also another Lighter Side reference for Sintendo, because I just can't quit being inspired by that story.
sniper
"I've paid my dues, time after time," Triela sang softly, a pair of earphones extending from inside a pocket on her nightgown. "I've done my sentence, but committed no crime..." Emotion choked her voice as she recalled the traumatic events of this story's first chapter.
"And bad mistakes, I've made a few..." She reminisced briefly but bitterly on a certain night, ill spent in a dodgy motel. "I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through!
Waltzing over to her mantelpiece, Triela picked up her bear brigade's newest recruit and held him close to her chest. He was brown and furry, sporting a white 'muscle shirt', a bracelet on his right arm, a sequin-studded belt and tight, pale blue jeans. A robust mustache of black cloth had been expertly sewn to his snout, and a miniature microphone, complete with long mounting pole, was strapped to his left paw.
"We are the champions, my friend," crooned an impassioned Triela to her cuddly companion, tears pooling in her eyes. "And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end! We are the champions... we are the champions! No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world!
A pause now, as Triela kissed the bear's nose and carefully returned him to his place.
"I've taken my bows, and my curtain calls," continued Triela, drying her eyes. She lovingly caressed Hillshire's MasterCard, which he had begrudgingly lent her to set up a account. "You brought me fame and fortune, and everything that goes with it... I thank you all!
Turning towards her laptop screen, which displayed an almost-closing auction on eBay, she grimly noted the fierce bidding that had plagued the sale ever since it had been launched five days prior.
"But it's been no bed of roses, no pleasure cruise... I consider it a challenge before the whole human race, and I ain't gonna lose!
Entering a suitably large figure, hitting the 'Confirm Bid' button barely three seconds before ending time and causing the words 'Congratulations – you just won the item' to appear before her triumphant gaze, Triela stood up and again burst into the chorus, exuberantly this time, whipping out her ZEN and using it as a pretend mike.
"We are the champions, my friend... And we'll keep on fighting 'til the end! We are the champions... we are the champions! No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions... of the world!"
The room door suddenly swung open with a cacophonous crash. Completely unfazed by the sudden racket, Triela coolly shut off the player and turned to look at the doorway. Silhouetted in the portal against the light of the moon with her mane of raven hair and white nightdress billowing in the wind ala Lady Madeline Usher was Freda Claes Johansson, and her expression was terrible to behold.
Triela's friend looked like she had been ordered to plunk her precious books on a pyre and grind her even more precious glasses to powder. The light gleaming off said eyewear could not obscure the intense glare of her icy blue orbs. Her lips were pursed in an immutably thin line of displeasure. One could almost expect her to start demanding where Sarah Connor was. But that was not to be.
"Are you username DangerousKurves88?" she demanded instead.
"The one and only," replied Triela, unfazed. My, but you look lovely when you're mad...
"You outbid me on that rare music lot, you sneak!" exclaimed Claes.
"Rico may rule the roost when it comes to sniping on the battlefield, but I'm Queen of that department in the blood-soaked arena of eBay," said Triela proudly. A look of amused incredulity then crossed her face. "Hold the phone – that was you back there?"
"Indeed it was!" said Claes hotly.
Triela's disbelieving smile broadened into an unadulterated, gleeful grin. "You listen to Goldfrapp, the Pussycat Dolls and the Scissor Sisters?"
The resulting look on Claes' violently blushing face was so priceless that Triela was sorely tempted to take a picture using her cell phone's digital camera.
"I'll get you for this, Triela," the bespectacled girl finally managed to splutter. "I'll get you if I have to travel to the four corners of the Earth."
And with that, she turned on her heel and exited the room, slamming the door behind her.
"Damn, Claes – way to be dramatic," Triela chuckled, restarting her ZEN. "At least I now know what to get you for your birthday, though." She popped the earphones back in and launched into song once more, leaning over to finalize the payment for her recent transaction.
"She needs to break free... God knows she needs to break free..."