Note: Sakura is going to play the traveler NOT the princess. got carried awaybout the whole princess thing.bwahahahhaa...Really sorry for making the stupid mistake….

Chapter 4

Meet the Egg…nog.

Robert Stevenson University has a very prestigious world-wide reputation. This school shapes the best lawyers, doctors engineers, painters, dancers etc. around the world. Equipped with a nine thousand acre or so land and advanced technology, RSU is like a mini island. Think CLAMP School. Only not isolated from the rest of Japan.

Anyway, RSU has a certain building with 2 floors. 1st floor is for he weights, rooms for meditation and exercises that improves you cardiovascular system and hopefully helps desperate insecure students to loose weight, treadmills and stuff. 2nd floor is the training ground. Or so they say, thing is, this floor is like one big practice floor for the Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee of the next generation. Aside from that, this is a floor where irritated students can shave off some steam on poor dummies.

Which is exactly what Sakura Kinomoto was currently doing.

"You'll be perfect for the traveler… must participate or you'll fail… you can't exchange roles with a nail clipper…," she muttered darkly under her breath, repeating what everybody said during their Eng. Class, kicking and punching a dummy with all her might.

"You are so lucky!" she added sarcastically. "Lucky, my ass…" she yelled and landed a forty-five kick on the dummy.

Damn, stupid traveler who has to look like the princess. Stupid play. Stupid plot. Argh! Punch. Kick. Punch to the left.

"Come on, Kinomoto," a masculine voice entered her mind.

Sakura didn't need to look up to know who it was. "No freaking way".

"Why not?" Li raised an eyebrow and stood in front of her, with the dummy separating them.

She rolled her eyes and flailed her boxing gloved-hands in the air. "Because I do not want to play some bimbo in a frilly dress that goes by the name of something as disgusting as Amelia Bumbetts!"

"No, you're not," Li chided, smirking and now standing beside the dummy. "You'll pass PHEM and be an important part of the play".

"Yeah, in a hoopskirt". With a yell, she slammed her right foot on the left of the dummy's neck. Since Li was leaning on the right, he got kicked as well. "What was that for!" he huffed and got up, feeling slightly dazed.

"Anyway, you're fit for the part of the traveler. A traveler's body's lean. You do a few butt-shaping exercises," he slapped her butt, (insert owner's growl) "making you tighten this up some more and you're ready!"

Heaving a sigh of irritation, she whirled around. "You know what? Tighten this up!". She jumped and curled an arm tightly around Li's neck. "Why the hell did she pick me, anyway?" she demanded. "Is it a woman thing?".

With surprising strength, Li managed to remove her strangle and swung a foot on her knee, making her fall on her back to the ground. Pinning her down, he rolled his eyes, "don't kid yourself. Nobody thinks of you that way". They were not aware of the scene they were making.

"Sit! SIT DOWN, man!" a fat guy said to his partner in fencing. His friend sshed him and handed the popcorn as they sat on the bleachers.

Sakura managed to get the upper hand. She pinned him to the ground by sitting on his chest and her thighs on either side of his face. A vein pulsed on her temple when she growled, "this may seem as a shock to you but I've never been a part of play, much less having the part of temporary princess. Like it or not, I don't even own a dress. I don't even own a brush!"

She cursed when Li crossed his legs on top of her chest and rose up with Sakura's legs were still pinned on his face and snorted, "which part of that was suppose to shock me?" he said sarcastically.

They both struggled to get up and only succeeded landing on their side, since neither wants to free the other from one's iron-leg grip.

"Okay," Sakura mumbled through her feet-scrunched face "let's suspend reality for a minute and pretend I said yes. You mean I have to endure every rehearsal and some Princess Diaries-like etiquette sessions and how to wear high heels and stuff?"

"Damn straight" Li's muffled voice responded. "The talking, the dress, the cute little scene where we dance and kiss!". he made a lip-like image with his hands and put them together.

She shuddered and blushed, struggling to get out and finally they separated.

"Okay, 50 bucks on Li," Watcher B told his partner.

"I don't know, man. She's got a lot of rage," Watcher A furrowed his eyebrows uncertainly.

Sakura did something straight out of Randy Orton's book and jumped and landed on her side on Li's back with her right elbow out. Li swore and got up in a way that said 'you are dead, you hear me?'

"I'll take that bet."

He picked her up bridal-style, heaved her up and slammed her down to the floor. "Shit," Sakura panted as she lay on the floor, listening to the claps and cheers for the Li, who was bowing.

"Ha!" Watcher B whooped. His friend looked put down.

"So are you saying I have to play the traveler?" Sakura groaned.

Li bent down and smirked, placing his hands on his hips. "Yeah, you have to play the traveler."

She said nothing and instead, to show that she was irritated, slid her leg clockwise on the floor and slammed it on Li's ankle with all the strength that she could. BAM! Li hit the floor, making the crowd go "woah!" and wincing.

"You go, girl," Watcher A smirked smugly and wiggled his fingers to the loser of the bet.

LI'S POV

"I cannot imagine why some people are so willing to act on a play" Sakura said as we made our way to the stone steps of a massive salon owned by Meiling's parents.

I shrugged "who knows? A chance to see the world… to be discovered… money… I have no idea. Chill, will you? It's only a school play."

" I cannot stay calm" she burst out. "I have been through all these crap before and it all cracked. THEY all cracked, let me tell you."

"Sheesh," I rolled my eyes. "Please clarify. The expert make-overists cracked or you made them crack?".

"Okay, so I made them crack" she admitted. "The one who can stand me and successfully cope with my attitude especially during these…," she shuddered, "lady lessons or whatever is a saint. Most of them cracked under a week. I give this one a month," she announced.

"Yeah well, too bad. Because this time, you are working with Micheal—uh, what's his name again?—Cordove or something. Fine, let's call him Daisy the Rock, because like it or not, you, Kinomoto, are finally going to meet your match."

"Where's Yamazaki?" she interrupted abruptly, intent on changing the subject.

"On the court shooting hoops while waiting for the girls"

"Lucky guy" she muttered ruefully.

I can't help but laugh at the tone of her voice, because I really do feel sorry for her. I overheard Tomoyo and Rika chatting excitedly about this guy, and from what I gathered, once Cordova sets his claws on a prey, there was no stopping him. Okay, so it's not like I WANTED to listen to them. Truth is, I was tied to a chair, literally, (because I was suppose to be the one who leads the team. But I did not) and was forced to listen while playing hangman with an equally bored soul, Eriol, who, instead of being tied to a chair, was tied to a pillar because he tried to escape.

And another reason why I'm feeling sorry for her is because all the lessons and makeover treatments will be held in the expensive and internationally- acclaimed Versaci Haven, exactly where we were. It is, by looking at her horrified expression when we were within 15 feet of the Haven, probably one of the places she abhors the most. And judging from the strategic position of having been built near 4 rich villages and its enormous and grand 2 story, 60 feet long structure, Meiling's parents weren't hurting for money either.

We entered the spa/salon/whatever and our feet sunk on the red carpet. "You ready?" I asked a now pissed Sakura.

"Ready to run or ready to die or ready to kill or ready for hell?"

"Ready for hell"

"No"

"Hm… that's bad."

"Why?"

"Because judging from your expression, I think you're already in it."

-OOO Sakura's POV-oooo

"So when is the guy coming?" I asked irritably. I mean, come on, we have been waiting for a freakin hour and nobody has seen neither hide nor hair of this 'Cordova' that Tomoyo worships.

Said worshipper smiled and said cheerfully, "oh don't be so irritable! You'll like him!"

"I doubt it," I said stubbornly as I leaned against the pillar near the door. Seriously, I should be watching 'NBAs Greatest Games' by now but noooo…

I have been dragged to one of the places that I abhor the most to wait for my impending doom. Tomoyo, Meiling, Eriol and Li were with me, scattered around the large and disgustingly pink lounge of Versaci. I just remembered, since I am being forced against my will to have these stupid 'lady' lessons, it must mean that we will definitely have a lesson about the difference between the male and female….

I shudder to think of what kind of crap I have gotten myself into.

The door suddenly opened and this girl entered followed by this penguin-suited guy flanked by 2 Tyra Banks-like girls. I don't want to be rude to the poorly styled but this guy was bald in a way which is the baldest I have ever seen. He looks like a boiled egg in a penguin suit. Except eggs are way more attractive, of course.

"Michael!" Tomoyo greeted him enthusiastically and rushed to meet the legendary Cordo—er –whatever.

Eggy-my brand new nickname for Mr. Baldy- smiled and rushed ahead. To my irritation and surprise, he threw his extremely heavy bag to my arms, knocking the breath outta me and impatiently said, "here boy, hold my bag". I glared at his back and met Li's gaze on the way. He was trying hard not to laugh.

The opposite sex definitely has some screws loose.

As I stood behind Eggnog, he beamed at both Tomoyo and Meiling and gushed, "how are the two most beautiful girls in the world?"

Meiling blushed and smiled. "Fine, thank you. So, are you ready for the hardest project ever?"

Tomoyo added, "I'm sure with your expertise, you will turn her into the gorgeous young lady that we all know she is!." She winked at Eriol and Li, who snorted disbelievingly.

"I always am, but," Eggnog frowned, "I see no other lady in the room. Perhaps she forgot?"

Silence

"But she's here!" Li said, laughing.

"Where? I see no one?" Eggnog scratched his head, puzzled, looking around and ignoring me.

"There she is, Michael," Eriol said, pointing at me, grinning.

Eggnog turned and looked at me. After two seconds, he let out an ear-splitting shriek and threw both his hands face up in the air. Now, I cannot help but say that if he looks like a boiled egg when relaxed, he now looks like a constipated potato. Ooohhhh…

"Hi," I said politely, grinning.

"Y-you're a—" he stuttered, then shut his mouth and coughed. One—zero to me.

"Well… uhm… let's see… turn around…." Eggnog muttered, obviously flustered. I smirked and twirled around slowly. I saw his eyes getting wider and wider…

"Yes… yes… your eyebrows are bushy, it will need trimming… is that—gasp!---grease on your nose? What have you done to your beautiful hair? It is like a tangled wire! You have frequent exposure to the sun, haven't you? Well, no more! You're cheeks need a little more glow, you have the very unlady-like posture and expressions. your skin's obviously smooth, but disgustingly covered in grime… SACRE BLEU!" he exclaimed and turned around to face my friends.

"I, Michael Cordova, have never seen such a lady in need of dire help!" he announced as if he was announcing about the end of the world, "but do not despair, Michael will succeed. These hands," he thrusted them out as if they were gold that we should worship, "has touched the heads of Angelina Jolie, Tyra Banks and such like them and made 9 out of ten of his clients Ms. Universe! He, that is, I, will succeed! But with great necessities!"

He started ticking them off in his fingers while we were listening intently and one of his girls were writing. "Waxing, facial, protein treatment, manicure, diamond peel, pedicure…."

He droned on and on and on about these whatsits which sounds a helluva a lot useless and expensive (judging from one of his girls expression of awe and incredulity and Li and the other's faces). And then he added that I will have lessons for walking, talking, eating, dating and lots of other stuff that I bet would not help me one bit but motivate me to murder him instead.

Dream on, oh mad bald one.

While he was busy ranting about my poorly formed homosapien form, I stomped over to Li and hissed, "why didn't you tell me that I will have to endure 180 pounds of useless fat in penguin suits with the motive of scraping off my sanity just for a play?"

He snickered. Oooohhhhh, how I would love to punch that cute smile off that cu—I mean—ugly face. "You didn't ask" he said lightly.

"Why I oughta…" I started my tirade, ready to yell to the whole freakin world that they are useless when it comes to protection of teens against deranged gay beauticians, when said deranged guy motioned towards me, "you, honey, come here".

I walked as unlady-like as I could and to my satisfaction, he seems to get more constipated. Ah, revenge is sweet. I should be doing something useful now, like planning the untimely demise of the Li clan's heir.

"On Saturday, 2 days from now, I want you here with your friends so that we can begin our first lesson precisely at 9:00 am and also discuss future lessons. Do not be late and do something with that bag of yours, got it?" he peered at me through Ralph Lauren sunglasses.

"Yeah," I said stiffly.

"Yes," he corrected.

"Yeah?" I asked, confused.

"YES! A lady must not have such horrid words in her vocabulary. Proper ladies say 'yes'. Not the street language 'yeah', okay?"

Forget it. Eggs are definitely more attractive AND smarter.

"And what is that you're wearing!" he gasped and pointed at my jersey. I changed on my way here. "Such mannish sandals!" he sputtered indignantly, now looking at my shoes. "Michael does not approve of such horrid things seen on women. I want to see you in stockings and flip-flops the next time I see you. Michael also does not want to see you chewing gum again, you hear? It makes you look like a hoochie mama…"

blahblahblah…

OOO

"They're getting along quite well, aren't they?" Tomoyo commented.

"Yep. If you call an urge for assassination 'getting along'" Meiling said, amused. They watched as the expression of incredulity and irritation deepened on Sakura's face as she listened to Cordova's droning, who seemed oblivious to the murderous expression on his client's gaze.

"I give them 2 weeks" Eriol dared.

"4 weeks" Li countered, watching the auburn-haired girl with a soft expression on his face.

"Loser will clean the winner's room for a week"

"Done".

a/n: so how'd you like it? really sorry for my pathetic attempts at humor. my creativiosity (i did this spelling on purpose) is low. i hope i did not bore you to death, though! thank you for the reviews! never thought it would garner that much. anywayz, sorry for the grammatical mistakes. i have the vocabulary of Eggnog. in any case, PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE REVIEW!

Ciao... for now.

CalCarrie