I'm back! thank you for everyone who reviewed! oh and just to answer your questions, this story is not a crossover between ms congeniality and princess diaries. it MAY have some familiar scenes with both movies, but i promise that the only scene that i intentionally copied was the fight scene.
His mother shouldn't have named him Michael, because Michael is a name for the good and kind like, for example, that angel who duffed Satan to a pulp with a sword. His name was Michael. Now THAT is a guy worthy of the holy name of Michael, someone who saves people from their untimely demise and tortures… NOT lead the torturing session. Unlike THIS guy.
Actually, his full name is Michaelangelo Paolo Frescobaldi Vivaldi Gregorio Cordova. Nicknamed "Michael" or "Paolo".
But of course, I'm thinking more on the lines of "Baldy", "Eggy/Eggnog", "Hitler" and "Tyrant".
OOOOOOO
"How the hell can I fit into these things?" I asked dubiously, indignantly waving the stockings in front of Tomoyo and Meiling. They were about half my size and can probably be a cause of an amputation of someone's legs.
Meiling plucked them from me and exasperatedly said, "it's stretchable, see?" She pulled on both ends to demonstrate the point.
"Now, please put them on since we are 20 minutes late for you lessons!" Tomoyo added quickly, repeatedly looking at her watch.
I snorted, "let Eggy wait, for all I care. Let's hope he'll throw in the white flag."
"Now Sakura, be a good girl and wear the stockings," Li drawled at the far corner of the vast music room sitting on one of the chairs with, as usual, Eriol. I wanted to strangle them. I really do.
"Sod off."
"Come on Sakura," Tomoyo prodded on.
"No freakin' way," I said stubbornly.
Looking at her watch, Meiling frowned and looked at me. "We don't have much time," she said loudly and took a step forward.
"You, Sakura Kinomoto, are going to wear stockings and you are going to LIKE IT!" Tomoyo said firmly. On the words 'like it', they lunged at me and dragged me out of the door. They manhandled me, let me tell you. It is so unfair because.
One. It is 2 against one.
Two. I'm impaired by wearing only a bathrobe while they are fully dresses and
Three. They have hundreds of fashion magazines behind them, lending their fashion antics superhuman strength.
OOOOOO
Li and Eriol listened sympathetically as Sakura's outrage and the girls' insistent voices drifted across the room.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU ARE NOT MAKING ME WEAR A THONG, DO YOU HEAR ME!"
"STAND STILL, SAKURA! MEILING, GET ME THE DRESS BEFORE SHE ESCAPES!"
"TOMOYO, SHE'S GETTING AWAY! GET HER!"
"WHADDYA THINK I AM, A CHIPMUNK! WHAT ARE DOING? NO…NO… AHHHHH!"
Li shuddered and passed the chips to Eriol, who was sprawled on the carpet and reading comics "I wonder if she'll survive," Li mused loudly.
Eriol smirked, "I wouldn't trade places with her right now. Survive? Maybe—" he was cut off when a screech shook the whole mansion.
"I'M BEING SEXUALLY HARRASSED!" Sakura screeched.
Eriol got up and pretended to wipe a tear. "Bless her soul". They laughed and went out of the door.
"Want to get some soda?" Li suggested.
"Sure".
OOOOOOoooOOOOOO
"I thought I'm attending lady lessons, not…" I gestured at a pile of books "Geography… History… Computer…Law and… uh-huh… MATH?" I snorted incredulously.
After arriving at Versaci garbed in a hideously dressy dress (in addition to the tight stockings they forced on me), Eggnog swooped down at me and yelled for 30 minutes straight about how ladies should value punctuality and all that. After realizing that I am neither sorry not listening, he gave up and led me to this huge, empty room with only a pile of books as occupants. He looked irritated when I asked about them.
Well, nice try, Eggy boy, but you are not the only one in a bad mood. Scorching looks won't work on THIS girl, honey.
"We will not use them to read" he said calmly. That's when I knew I was in big trouble: he went from deadly to docile. "We will use them," he grabbed 3 books and placed them on top of his head, "for walking!" he clarified. He walked in a circle and-much to my disappointment, finished without the books crushing his foot. Damn.
"Okay, put one book on top of your head," Eggnog instructed crisply and handed me a book. I raised my eyebrows at the title of the book and snickered, "'How to grow your hair the fastest way possible'?" I showed it to him. "Look Egg- I mean, Michael, hate to break it to you buddy but your hair is not like what most mentally deranged blokes have. It will probably take like, 10 years or so-"
"JUST DO IT!" he bellowed, reddening. Two-zero to me.
I blinked. "Okay, easy there horsey, no need to go Nike on me…" I muttered and placed the book on top of my head. At least, I tried to since the stupid book kept sliding down. "What the hell?" I grumbled, annoyed. "Hey!" I added indignantly when Eggy whacked me in the head with his pen. Hard. "What the hell was that for?"
"Do NOT swear!" he frowned. Shhhhhiiiiiitttttt…… bwahahaha…
God, I'm going insane.
"Now, in order to achieve and KNOW that you are walking and standing properly, you must not let the books fall, no matter how hard it is for you!" he said sternly, walking around me with FOUR books on top of his head… in different sizes. Seriously, I KNEW there was something weird about his head. I thought eggs are round? Why's his flat? Hmm…
"Now, stand straight, chest out!" he started authoritatively. "Stomach in, butt out!"
"WHAT!" I exclaimed, the book toppling to the floor. I picked it up and replaced it again. Li is sooooo going to pay for this.
"JUST DO IT!"
Then when I finally managed to balance 2 books (with the sacrifice of chopped off toes caused by 200-pound encyclopedias), he brought out a pair of shoes that I loathe to the level of supremacy: high hells. Heels. Whatever. 3-inched, wicked looking, pointed and ugly stilettos. Help me, god.
"No. No freakin way," I adamantly said, backed away. Unfortunately, he just shook his bald flat head and came after me. He, even after all my struggling, which is a LOT, managed to jam those stupid things on my feet.
He smiled triumphantly and said, "now, stand straight and walk… properly!"
Clumsily, I took a step. Another step. Another one. Four more steps. I can actually walk with these stupid things attached to my feet! "Ha! I'm doing it!" I cheered triumphantly. "I'm—gah!" I gasped when something terrible, something horrible, something so spectacularly horrifying happened: I tripped.
Then, like in those action movies like 'Kill Bill' and 'Mission Impossible', everything seems to slow down. Even our voices slowed and became deep. First, my left foot twisted and I was silenced. I lost my balance and went "NOOOOOO!" and started falling down. Of course, no SANE person wants a broken nose so I grabbed the first thing that my hands came in contact with. And, wonder of wonders, I grabbed not a chicken, not a pillar… something much MUCH worse.
Eggy's pants.
Then, I started taking his pants with me. As in it started falling down, revealing his underwear. Eggy went all yellow and "MY PANTS! NOOOOOOO!". With the final sounds of belts snapping and heels breaking (YES!) , I fell down at Eggy's feet.
With a groan of pain, I started getting up when his voice stopped me. "Stay!" it commanded me. "Do not… I repeat… DO NOT LOOK UP UNTIL I HAVE MY PANTS BACK ON!" he said in a tense and flustered voice.
Eggy? Flustered and tense? Intrigued and curious to find something finally worthy of blackmail, I took a peek, tilting my head up a bit and froze. Woah… YECH!
To make sure I wasn't hallucinating this JUICY piece of blackmail, I looked at the mirror behind Eggy, one that he did not see, and took a look at his butt. I shuddered while he finally covered the hideous sight.
Double yuck.
OOOOOO
"Li? Li!" I called out as I strode in the mansion after my session. I stomped into the back where this huge pool was, currently occupied by said person.
The figure immediately surfaced, its owner's head in the edge where I sat. "What's up?" he asked casually, his hair dripping wet, well, actually, his whole body's wet. Duh.
I grunted and started making little cirlcles in the water "Li, I don't know if you are just blind or purposely playing innocent but as you can see, I am NOT fit for this girly role… nor the lessons … nor withstanding 2 months of Eggy's reign".
"Okay, why the sudden change?" he asked, water dripping from his hair and eyelashes.
"Because Eggnog is the reincarnation of Hitler himself. Would you believe that he actually forced my to walk with books on top of my head and made me wear 3 to 4 inch heels since yesterday?" I burst out.
"And look!" I held up my right foot, where there was a huge bruise covered with a bandage right smack at the back of my heel, which was currently red. "After tripping forty seven times, had a look at Eggy's humonguous pantibus and wearing stockings that cut off my blood circulation, I got this! How in the world am I going to attend and PLAY during basketball and baseball practice tomorrow!" I raged. "Coach would never allow me to play until it healed."
"So are you telling me you're backing out?"
"Yes" I said flatly as I got up. At least, I was about to when he suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Look, nobody said this was going to be easy" he said. When I didn't answer, he rolled his eyes and tugged at my arm, forcing me to sit down and lean closer. "All of Eggy's clients agreed that he's a bit of a butthead, but that is his technique to motivate them. Although he's a bit of a pain, look at where most of his clients are now. And yeah, some of them backed down but, Kinomoto, although it pains me to admit it, you are the most strong-willed woman that I've ever met, nevermind the fact that I've met you only a week ago. If anybody can tolerate his Hitlerism, you can.
"Wow, cheesy" I stated seriously, eyebrow quirking. He rolled his eyes with a half smile.
"Oi.". He got hold of my chin and made me look at him. God, those gor-I mean, ugly- eyes are KILLING me. "And if you quit, who's gonna be my other half in the play?" he questioned in a pained voice. "Kinomoto, if Ivanna ends up playing the part I swear I will hunt you down, got it?"
I can't help but grin. "Was that a compliment?"
"Damn straight. It took me my dignity and pride to say it. So you better not quit!" he huffed, letting my chin go and crossing his arms on the edge.
"FINE!" I said, exasperated. "On one condition" I added.
He looked wary. "What condition?"
"I will get to borrow your Xbox and your BMW fro the whole month."
"Done"
"You really are that desperate, aren't you?"
"Yep. Of course, I'll also have a condition."
I looked at him warily. "What?".
Then, his smile turned devilish, like how Meiling looked like when she saw the fifty percent off on all items in the Chanel store downtown. "If it involves anything perverted, I wi—"
"No!" he blushed then pretended to think. "Hm… that's an idea. OW! I was just joking!" he grumbled when I pinched him.
"I want you…," he smirked and grabbed my arm, "to have fun".
"Wha-?" I started. Then, it dawned on me. My gaze flitted from the pool to his hand. I glared at him full force and tried to pry my arm away. But to my dismay, the stupid thing only tightened. "Li, if you are thinking of doing what I THINK you are thinking of doing, I swear I will skin you and chop you within an inch of your—!"
"Sorry, cherry," he drawled, "but you need it. Trust me".
"NO! LI, DO NOT DO—AH!"
I screeched as he pulled and sent me toppling into the pool. Cold water seeped through the damned dress I was wearing and made contact with my skin. I quickly surfaced and swam to the edge and pulled myself up.
Of course, I was ABOUT to when Li's arms suddenly encircled my waist and brought me back down. I choked when his breath suddenly blew on my ear and he said, "oh no you don't".
We looked like fools, really. We played Drown Your Partner or whatever. He was so… well… cheeky that I splashed water in his face to wipe that stupid grin off his face. "Wanna play splash now, huh?" he said mildly and, to my surprise, a blast of water splashed me full in the face.
I gagged and glared at him. "Oh, you are going to get it, buddy!".
We fought like crazy after that and forty-five years of water later we managed to drag ourselves outta the pool and laid down the concrete. I panted and got up. He smiled "now wasn't that fun?" he teased and sat up.
I smirked. "No, it wasn't. Thanks anyway."
He gaped at me. "You're not MAD?"
"Nope."
He pouted, his face falling. "WHY?"
"Simple pimple. It's because it pisses you off."
I punched him lightly and stood up, impatiently throwing the stupid heels into the pool. With all the dignity I have left, I walked towards the entrance to the mansion. Before opening the door, I nonchalantly said over my shoulder, "I hope you know I'm borrowing your cell for this". Hm… no comeback from smarty pants. Whatever. I went inside and shut the door behind me.
OOOOOOO Meanwhile…OOOO
"Woah……," Tomoyo watched as Sakura walked towards the door.
"Yeah… woah," Meiling agreed, awestruck as she recorded the whole thing on tape.
It wasn't the fact that they were behind the huge bush near the Jacuzzi and spied a cute moment. OOH NOO...
Well, that and the scene right now.
Sakura wasn't walking like a monkey that escaped from jail. No, she was walking with her spine straight, chin up… everything that Eggy taught. She looked… well… regal. Seductive with her hips swaying slightly. And the fact that her lavender dress was currently clinging to every curve of her body did NOT lessen it. In fact, you can pretty much add 'sexy' and 'provocative' to the list.
"My god, who knew Sakura walks so gracefully?" Tomoyo breathed.
"I don't care!" Meiling giggled with mirth, "take a look at my dear cousin!"
Sure enough, Li was staring at Sakura, mouth open. GAPING, actually. Nobody can blame him, really. It was like seeing Yelan dancing to hiphop music.
"He's stunned!" Tomoyo said excitedly. "And blushing!".
Meiling tugged at Tomoyo's shirt. "Come on! Let's show this to Michael!"
"Yeah. Lesson one: Walking Like A Lady, is officially successful!" Tomoyo said happily.
OOOOOOOO
I leaned my head against the door of my room.
No, my heart is not banging against my chest because of what happened.
No, I am not blushing because he preferred me over Ivanna.
No, I am not feeling guilty because I ate all his Cheetos.
No, I do not think he's cute.
Yes, I think he's ugly.
Do I?
DO I?
Damn.
I looked at the mirror and did double take.
Double damn.
a/n: so do you like it? yeah yeah i know it's pretty dull and boring and probably put you asleep halfway through but i still hope you enjoyed even a TEENY bit. PLEASE REVIEWWWWWWWW!
Later and lotsa Love,
CalCarrie