Chapter 8 – Disastrous Rehearsal
BOOM!
The Daidouji Mansion was in danger… an angry entity was approaching…
BOOM! BAM! CRASH!
Birds stopped chirping and flew away to safety, away from the source of the aura that was thumping towards the double door entrance, uprooting tress and cracking the earth. Now, the cause roared a name…
BANG!
"TOMOYO!"
The double doors burst open. Spinnel, the young and newly-hired butler, trembled as the smoke started clearing, imagining a pair of red eyes and shout of the famed Harry Potter's enemy's curse: AVADA KEDAVRA! Breath Spinnel… in… out… in… out… oh god oh god oh god…. 'WHY TODAY?' he asked himself over and over again. He wielded the knife and prepared to strike. "HIYYYYAAAA—!"
He stopped.
Wha-? Instead of Lord Voldemort, an auburn-haired girl stood before him, breathing heavily and with a panicked and manic glint in her eye. He stared at her in shock, the knife frozen in front of him. She looked at him and nodded curtly. "Do you mind me borrowing that?" she asked. Without waiting for and answer, she grabbed the knife and scraped the mud off the bottom of her shoes, muttering, "this is a Nike Jordan!"
Oblivious to the stunned expression of Spinnel, she placed the knife back to the hand (which was frozen to a clench) and patted him on the back. "Thanks, big guy," she said. She rushed towards the drawing room, all the while screaming, "THE EGGS HAVE DOUBLED! IN WEIGHT AND BALD HEADS! TOMOYOOO!"
Spinnel's eyes followed her. Slowly, he walked towards the kitchen and, discarding the knife, grabbed a pen and paper. He wrote his resignation in shaky letters: I, your new butler, have resigned due to heroin and drugs. He was too young for this, he thought. He should be serving the Home For The Aged until he's sixty and afflicted with athritis. He hoped the elderly mad won't be as crazy as teenagers… shudder…
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"TWO MICHAELS!" Tomoyo exclaimed, shocked.
"Yes, two fat and balding Hitlers are currently readying their army to murder me!" I wailed. I walked around agitatedly, ignoring Li's calls to sit down. "How the hell did this happen?" I raged, a stressmark popping in my forehead.
Meiling chose that moment to enter and say amusedly, "apparently, twins run strong in their family. Lookie here," she pointed towards a magazine. "It says here 'Renowned Cordova Family Raises Successful Twins'".
Oh. My. God. I felt my eyes getting bigger. "Are you telling me that there could be MORE? CRAP!" I cursed. I nearly tore my hair out. "So in addition to Dumb and Dumber, there might actually be more!" I nearly went cuckoo after that. "What if there's a 3rd named Gabriel? Or a fourth named Hansel and girl named Gretel? WHAT IF THEY'RE ACTUALLY SIXTUPLETS! NOOOO!" I wailed, running around the room.
Li grabbed my by the shoulders and shook me. "Oi! Calm Down! You're making me dizzy!" he said loudly. Calm down? CALM DOWN? I have experienced torture worthy of the medieval times from ONE boiled egg. So you're expecting me to calm down when I learn that another is actually on the loose?
TWO CONSTIPATED BOILED EGGS! TWO! I HAVE TO DEAL WITH TWO!
I pointed this out to Li and before he could respond, Eriol walked in and said in a voice of sympathy mixed with laughter—more of the latter and less of the former (duh, it's Eriol)— "Well Sakura, if you think you had it bad, check this out." He thrusted a poster of (gag me) Raphael and guess what? Eggy no. 2 is a world famous director… and it says here that HE will be the DIRECTOR of the play. OUR play.
Thunk.
Meiling and Eriol raised an eyebrow and looked at Tomoyo with amusement. "She slept!" Li laughed.
Tomoyo shook her head. "Nope, more like fainted".
OooOOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
When Ms. Mizuki told Li and I to rehearse for ourselves since the stage was still getting geared up, she never exactly told us WHERE. So, here I am with Li, sitting on top of the High School Building and supposedly rehearsing the script and memorizing our lines. Unfortunately for them, we were doing neither. Since I wasn't one to cram, I was about to point this out to Li when he asked me the most absurd question ever.
"Have you ever been kissed?"
I choked on my own spit and turned to look at him disbelievingly. "And why are you asking me that?"
He shrugged, a playful glint evident in his amber eyes. "Well, in scene number 79, we, as in the prince and the princess, will kiss as a symbol of our love for each other. Are you up to it?"
"Yes. And you ain't gonna kiss me. It's called Fake Kissing," I said simple, my face blushing.
"But the real one is so much more realistic! Come on!" he cajoled, "you know you want it!".
I snorted, ignoring the unusual shortage of breath, and said, "uh-huh. And pigs CAN fly, right?". Then, a smirk found it's way up my face. "So you mean to tell me that you WANT to kiss me?" I asked with fake delight.
He stood up and shrugged, a secretive smile playing on his lips. "Maybe".
"You are weird."
Suddenly, he tugged at my hand and a heartbeat later, I was in his arms and being twirled around. I raised my eyebrow. "What the hell are you doing?" He whirled me around and said, "rehearsing. In the scene, we were dancing when we kissed. So…" he trailed off, his eyebrows wiggling.
I blushed and glared at him. "Kiss me, you die. You really will." He chuckled as his hold tightened around my waist. I ignored how my heart started banging again and how my face seemed like a frying pan and said, "you DO know that you are about to get kneed in the gut if you keep on holding me like this, do you?"
He just shrugged. "Oh yeah, I know you're not going to do that" he drawled. "Just who are you going to kiss in the play if not yours truly?"
"I'd rather kiss a frog".
"So please answer my question now or else I will never let you go: have you ever been kissed?" he repeated.
"Maybe"
"What do you mean by that?"
"It means that I'm not answering" I said simply. That question brought back memories that haunted me every… fucking… day. In an attempt to divert his attention away from the topic, I put on a sly smile and drawled "So you mean to tell me that you are a virgin at kissing? Is that why you're asking me the Kama Sutra way of swapping spit?"
"Me? A virgin?" he asked disbelievingly. "You really asking me that?"
"How many?" I asked.
"…"
"Were you proud of it?" I asked wonderingly.
His cocky demeanor vanished and he simply said "No".
"Did you love them?"
"I was a wild kid" he said, shrugging. The mood changed. "I didn't love them. Like, yeah. Care, yeah. But love? Nope. It's hard to explain. Maybe someday I'll tell you why."
I looked at him curiously. So how many skeletons does Li have in his closet? The conversation turned serious from here. And hell, I never liked tense atmospheres. It irritates me.
"So love isn't in your dictionary?" I asked.
"Hell, no. I've just never found the right person to use it for. So it's just… I don't know… there," he said matter-of-factly.
I can't help asking it. I don't know if it's because of curiosity or the result of my overly prying mood at the moment but I asked, "but are you experiencing the symptoms now? As in this school year?"
Then, I saw the old Li emerging. Thank god. I wasn't used to the brooding one that I saw 5 seconds ago. In any case, it lifted up my spirits a bit. And just before I was about to tell him to screw the rehearsal and just play basketball, he added a line that, somehow, repeated over and over and over in my head up until the end of the day:
" I met someone a few weeks ago. The person was feisty and extremely stubborn. And you know what's big deal about it? I'm starting to feel, Kinomoto. I think I'm starting to love".
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The stage was set. The couple's love had prevailed. Music filled the room as the lights dimmed and a thick fog parked. A beautiful bride and a handsome groom stood before an elderly priest. The priest coughed and rumbled, "brothers and sisters, we are gathered here today to witness the joyful celebration of the joining of 2 he-".
"CUTTTTT! TOO BORING!" a voice screeched. "BREAK, PEOPLE!"
The priest let out a yell of exasperation and took off the fake beard, revealing a pissed Yamazaki. The bride sighed and revealed…well… me.
We are currently practicing the wedding scene of the story. Now, on a more important matter, I would like to introduce to you Jose Raphael Vivaldi… Corelly… uhm… baldy… whatever. Now that there are two Eggys, I have LOTS of nicknames for them. But I'll settle for Fatty for Raphael and Eggy for Michael.
And now I know why Eggy was so riled up about Fatty coming. I can't believe I haven't seen it the day we saw the monstrosity that is called Fatty and Eggy. THEY HATE EACH OTHER.
Which is pretty obvious. Anyway, I think Eggy has a more fueled anger but the point is, if you ever put the two of them in the same room together for a day, chances are the following day you'll find the room up in flames, destroyed or blown up. Like 2 days ago when they showed up at the mansion and had dinner with Yelan, Li and I, we watched in disbelief as the Tweedle Brothers argued if one of the main courses in the table was a turkey or a roasted lamb (both were wrong. It was only fried chicken). Good Lord, a chicken. They fought over a chicken, for crying out loud.
The saying 'Birds of the Same Feather Flock Together' does not apply to them. Though they have the same shiny bald head, the same fat belly, mustache and the same cuckoo attitude, (in fact, I think their only difference is that Fatty isn't gay… and swears… A LOT) they'd rather have a pitbull as a companion than the other.
Scene number something, Take 76,859:
Priest:… yada yada… so do you, Li- I mean- Prince Ciaran, take this rockin' dudette as your wife and stick with her through Simple Plan and Ciara, to pizza and vegetables, to PlayStatio-".
"CUUUTTTT!" Fatty yelled. He bounded up the stage and thrusted the script up at Yamazaki. "LADY! Not dudette! And it is in sickness or in health, in richness or in poverty till death do us part! Plus, your tone is so absolutely freakish!" he bristled. Brian just looked at him as if saying, 'what the hell? Is this guy crazy?' Sadly, he is.
"This is how you should do it!" he said. Coughing and straightening his beard, he said in a booming voice, "do you, Prince Ciaran, take this lovely lady as your wife, in sicken-!"
At that second, Eggy chose that moment to snort in contempt and say, "dear brother, you say it without life and grace! Surely you are aware of that?"
Trust Baldy to screw things up and start World War 3.
"Why, dear brother, if you are so all-knowing, please do demonstrate, Oh Great One!" Fatty cooed, beckoning his brother towards the stage. Eggy smirked and stomped towards the stage. Snatching the script , he cleared his throat and recited, "Do you Prince Cia-!"
"Okay. Marvelous. Now step down and let Yamazaki do it," Fatty interrupted in a bored voice.
Eggy reddened and yelled "I HAVE NOT YET FINI-!"
"Yeah, yeah, tell it to someone who gives a damn," Fatty said in the same bored voice. "Now GET DOWN! The lighting's pretty crappy. Hey Lance, move it to the left please!" he addressed our classmate.
"DO NOT SWEAR!" Eggy said in an agitated voice.
Fatty just looked at him smugly and drawled, "shhiiiiiiiii-i-i-it-t-t-t-t."
The whole class groaned as they watched the 2 baldies bitch at each other. I rolled my eyes and tugged at the sleeve of the groom aka Li. "Come one, let's go down". He nodded and, together with Yamazaki and me, went to mix with the class.
"How long do you think will they last before killing each other?" Li asked interestedly.
"5 minutes," I said as Tomoyo chorused, "5 hours".
"4 minutes" Brian suggested.
"10 minutes. Enough time to call the faculty, I hope," Yamazaki added.
"2 minutes!" Lance yelled from the top.
"Yeah," the whole class agreed. Just as we were about to call the ambulance in case of emergency, Rika and Naoko, together with Meiling, came running in. The latter panted and held up a box and announced, "we have the costumes!"
"If the priest says that in such a crappy voice, the audience will drool themselves to sleep!" Fatty was arguing heatedly. Eggy snorted and said contemptuously, "ha! Mine was absolutely the best! Try yours in the actual play and 45 min. later we'll need knee high boots to get home!"
"Guys?" Meiling asked uncertainly.
"Knee high boots because the floor will be filled with roses, you dol-!."
"GUYS!" she yelled exasperatedly.
"WHAT!" they roared. She pointed at the box and said, "we have the costumes for the play! And this is the costume of the traveler/princess!" she added, showing us all a floor length scarlet gown. "So what do you think?"
Both the fat director and the bald fashion designer studied and scutinized the pretty and ugly. Finally, Fatty announced, "the design is perfect but the color should be pink! Sakura looks best at pink!"
"And the Bald One argues," Eriol and Li whispered.
'Lo and behold, they were right. Eggy shook his head. "It should be green! Green brings out her eyes!"
"PINK!"
"GREEN!"
"PINK!"
"GREEN!"
I groaned and said, "first fried chickens, then a stupid script and now a stupid color! What's next?"
Li shrugged. "Who knows? Nobody here understands the language of the mad".
Before I could respond, said mad people shouted, "SAKURA!" I sighed and went over to them and said, "you know you could just paint it black or maybe greenish pink or pinkish green or preen or gin-!"
"Never mind!" Eggy interrupted, thrusting the dress into my arms and steering me backstage. "Try it on! That way, we would all see if the color that best suits you is green…," he then wrinkled his nose, "… or pink".
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UGH. Hideous, let me tell you.
There is one reason why I hate 15th century ball gowns: they are itchy and sweltering hot. It should be banned. I cleared my throat and sauntered towards the arguing pair, clapping my hands to get their attention. Fatty clapped his hands and said, "definitely pink!" Eggy argued, "no! green!"
Oh, the pains of having a brother. The whole class was looking bored now. Eriol, Brian and Lance, who went down because he was bored, were comparing text messages. Ivanna and her clique were reading fashion magazines and Tomoyo and Meiling were chatting. The rest of the class were either watching the argument or staring off in space. Li was doing the latter.
"Have you ever been kissed before?"
I smiled wryly, a heavy and wretched feeling on my chest. "Many times, Li. Too many times".
That was the last thing I thought of when I suddenly heard a creaking sound above me. I looked up and felt my blood roaring.
I froze.
OoOoOoO
The cables attached to the heavy main spotlight above thinned as 2 brothers fought and argued. For the past five years, workmen have forgotten to replace these rusting and old cables. They believed all were still strong and tight. Now, it was fine. Very breakable and very thin. Too thin.
Snap.. snap..
One of the brothers, out of frustration, pounded hard on the wall. As if finishing what has to be done, the fist of the 190 lbs. man pounded the weakest part of the cables. Nobody noticed as it broke and made it's way rapidly upwards. The spotlight swayed like the pendulum of a grandfather clock.
c-cr-crack! BANG!
With a great and ear-shattering sound, the spotlight and the chipped cables flew towards the ground. On the direct path of the hurtling object, an agitated princess stood. She looked up… and froze.
20 feet away, amidst the gasps and screams, someone, having seen what happened, started to run.
a/n: sooo... did you like it? sorry for the grammatical and spelling errors! THANK YOU FOR ALL WHO REVIEWED! anyway, read and review please! so you see that button at the bottom left? it's calling youuuu... wooooo... (wiggles fingers and tries to hypnotise)