A/N

For my Akki, thank you for putting up with rubbish conversation and sporadic updates. Here's an early birthday present, sweetie!

Thank you all for reviewing, I do hope you enjoy.

Raindrops

Kakeru had this really awful habit of making me blush.

It was really quite amusing, watching myself do it. Just flush, just a tiny little bit, every now and then, but it would be in the most awkward of situations. He'd smile at me and suddenly I'd stop talking and blush, and lo and behold everyone's clustered – especially Tohru – around me, yelling at me, asking me if I feel okay, or if I'm about to faint. Stupid lungs. And then he'd just laugh and walk off leaving me surrounded by fangirls.

(Later, we'd have hot, 'I'll teach you to laugh at me' angry sex, but right now I'd just blush harder and lock myself in a toilet.)

…

A lot of my life has been… well, hard. Losing people, hating people… being hated… it's rough. I mean, you can look at Kyo's life – and I'm not arguing his has been sunshine and rainbows – and see advantages. With my life, I'd been struggling to find one. And then Tohru – wonderful, loving Tohru – comes along, and guess what? She falls in love with the Cat. It's not like I'm head over heels with her (come on, what's wrong with me?!) but it's just the principle of things.

Then again, we're Sohmas. Since when did we have good lives?

No… I hadn't been expecting a 'good life'. Happy was too much to hope for; love was out of the question. Getting on without getting the crap beaten out of me by certain family members (no names mentioned) was all I'd really hoped for. So to have someone who even showed the faintest hint of sort of getting on with me electrified me. I guess… it's hard to explain without sounding totally cliché. When people say 'I loved him' or 'he was everything' they throw it around. They say it without knowing what it's like to have no one. So I can wheedle on about him all I like and you can sit there thinking 'yeah, heard it all before' but I just want you to know that he was my everything.

He knew it too, I think. He certainly put up with a hell of a lot from me, and still smiled and waited for me after class. I think he knew how much it meant just to have the expectation – that little future glimpse of the smile I knew he'd wear when I left, the way he'd stretch when he was on the way home. He understood me in a way that frightened me.

I'd love to say he made my life easier, but actually he just made it harder. He became more disruptive during council meetings; falling asleep, waking loudly with a jerk and yelling, demanding to know what had happened in the last five minutes and then falling asleep again; arguing with everyone and anyone just for the sake of it; throwing chalk in my hair and then pretending not to notice because my hair's white already.

I later found out he did it just to make me blush.

But… also he was making my life harder to lead. I'd never want to rush home and do work and collect Tohru and tease Kyo because I'd hang around with him, and he'd grin and talk about girls and skirts and kiss me. It's that thing, you know? That first moment. When his hand rests on my arm and he focuses on me and it's what I've waited for all day – then it's over, and he walks away with a yell of 'goodnight' and I'm left standing there with my hand on my mouth like a fool, waiting for promises of tomorrow. Because in my life tomorrow is always better.

The problem with him becoming everything was I was losing out on so much more in my life. Machi withdrew to worse than before (I never did find out exactly when she knew about us), Tohru spent more and more time with Kyo – as did Haru. And I spent all day thinking about Kakeru or talking to Kakeru or kissing Kakeru.

I didn't doubt that he liked me. Kisses and murmurs and holding hands indicated that aplenty. It was whether he loved me, totally head over heels with me as I was with him. I was frightened of what I might do to make him prove it; frightened of where everything was going. It wasn't that it was out of my control; my life never had been. It was just that I didn't think I could take anything more.

…

I felt another piece of chalk land on the back of my head with a soft plick. I ignored it. "Yun Yuuuuun," Kimi whined. "'Keru's throwing things again!"

I'd learnt that telling him off did nothing. I turned back to the council just in time for another piece to rebound off my forehead and fall in front of Machi with a soft noise. "So we're on budget so far. We've still got a little left over for decorations. Kimi, you can do that – just not too much pink, remember there are boys coming too. Right. Anyone else got anything to say?" I was torn between ignoring Kakeru and looking at him with deep disapproval. I floundered for a moment; a tug on my arm sent me hurtling back. Machi was pointing at the next item. "Okay," he sighed. "So what are we going to go as?"

As I'd expected, the whole place broke into uproar. I stood helplessly on the edge, with Machi silent beside me. Kakeru had stopped throwing things to bound into the centre of it, grinning madly as he yelled suggestions at top speed. "I don't want to go," Machi said quietly. As talking trees! drifted over as a suggestion, I wasn't sure wanted to anymore either. I was simply hoping for the expression 'saved by the bell' to have an accurate meaning. No such luck; another half-hour of torment.

There was a resounding crash which I knew could only have bad consequences. Normally, things got broken and no one cared; the shouting got louder as accusations fly around the room mingled with excuses. This time, everything went silent. There was only one valuable thing in the room. I knew what it was before I went over. Kakeru was standing beside it, eyes still nonchalant. He was smiling. I looked down at what was on the floor, neatly decapitated. It was the last thing Tohru had ever made for me before she… I scooped it up, feeling it trickle through my fingers as the parts slipped away. I dropped it to the floor and walked out.

I heard Kakeru's footsteps behind me, gently mimicking mine, an echo – shadow – more morbid and macabre than friendly. I ignored him. I shrugged on my jacket, slung on my shoulder bag as I walked and just kept going. Halfway out of the building, where Akito had stood all that time before, I turned to him. "Why don't you come find me when you can pretend you give a fuck?" I said quietly, and walked away.

…

He did. I knew he would. It wasn't till the next day; it was a little beyond him to follow me home. He didn't pretend very well though, looking sad and solemn when he was grinning in his eyes. I felt my heart harden, not soften, tears prickling again at the back of my eyes. Tohru bound towards me, grinning madly, looking like she was about to hurtle into me but stopping herself at the last moment. I looked at him once more before letting myself be dragged away, smiling at Momiji as he danced under my legs.

I knew he'd understand it was that smile. And I knew he'd hate it.

He 'caught up with me' nearer lunchtime, sidling up to me with one arm behind his head. "Hey," he said.

"Hello," I replied. I smiled at Tohru, picked up my bag and walked away. I felt Tohru watch me go, but Kakeru took the hint and followed.

He smoothly caught my step, nonchalantly strolling beside me. "You want to go somewhere tonight?" he murmured. I felt myself begin to flush.

"Where?" I answered coolly, swinging my bag into the top of my locker, taking out the textbooks and swapping them with a sincere dispassionate nature I hoped didn't look too false.

"Dunno," he said. "Just somewhere. Just us." He grinned – it reminded me too much of Shigure. I shouldered my bag and moved off again.

"Just us?" I repeated, tasting the words on my tongue. They sounded promising. In all of this, I'd nearly forgotten why I was annoyed with him.

"To apologise," he murmured. I halted in my step, fumbling. I turned to him and looked; he was being… well, he was being sincere. I hoped that was sincerity. "You never told us what it meant to you, but we're sorry we broke it." I kept looking. "Okay, I'm sorry I broke it. And I'm sorry for being a complete twat and acting like I didn't care." He leaned in closer, trying to hypnotise me. It was working. "It's that masculine side of me, I suppose?"

"Give over, you don't have a masculine side," I snapped, smiling. "You still haven't said where."

"You still haven't said whether you're coming." I grinned elusively. "Well, if we're pushed for a location, my parents are out all night…" I felt myself go dizzy at 'all night', and smiled shakily.

"You have an hour," I said firmly, starting to walk again.

"Only an hour?" he whined, pulling on my sleeve as I walked away from him. "You're such a spoilsport."

I turned to look at him, walking backwards with a smile. "If you give me reason to stay I might be able to prolong my other plans," I grinned.

"What kind of reason?" he yelled but I laughed and turned around as I walked away.

…

Okay. So I know I have no backbone. But I just wanted something to treasure, you know? Before everything went to shit. Which it always did with me.

The simple fact I'd forgiven him for breaking that was enough to show that I was totally, utterly obsessed.

…

"I can't believe how anal you guys all are," Kakeru whined as I walked home with him, my bag banging painfully against the side of my leg.

"The Power Rangers are hardly a suitable dress code for a school prom," I said sternly.

He paused for a moment and leant in painfully close, his breath whispering against my lips. "I'll let you be black…" he murmured.

I laughed shakily after a minute of wide-eyed rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights. "Sod off, dog breath," I teased, walking slightly faster and grinning as he tried to catch up.

"You just did it so you can see what I look like in a tux," he whined, limping pathetically from where he'd fallen over trying to catch up.

"I wish," I sighed. "If I had another choice I would. I hate dressing up." I groaned as another painful idea hit me. What if Ayame insisted on making my suit? I glanced at Kakeru out of the corner of my eye. Maybe he'll make his too…

"I assure you, I look totally glamorous," he grinned. "The ladies never leave my side!"

"Must be your twinkling repartee," I snapped. "It could be worse, I could have made you wear traditional clothes."

"I happen to own a very nice kimono, thank you very much, but a man with my physique should never wear baggy clothes." He paused in a ridiculous position I didn't bother to look around to see. Something to tell Shigure, I suppose. Our path wandered into a park, with barking children and laughing dogs. Wait. Oh. Forgive the mental breakdown, Kakeru had caught up with me and taken my hand and I was walking funny. I also had an unshakeable image of Kakeru in a kimono with one shoulder juuuust trickling off…

No. Don't.

As soon as we reached the wood, I slammed him into a tree and snogged him silly. "Wow," he gasped eventually, looking very flustered. "What was that for?"

I grinned. "Looking way too gorgeous in a kimono," I murmured back, and kept walking.

"I don't know how I put up with you," he mumbled as he had to catch up yet again. Why was I in the lead, when I had no idea where I was going?! "You make no sense."

"I know the feeling," I said softly, but I wasn't sure whether I was talking about me or Kakeru.

He rolled his eyes. "There you go again!"

I sighed exasperatedly. "What now?"

"Shutting me out!" he said, with rather a cute pout on his face.

I snorted for a moment. "I do what now?!" I exclaimed, shrugging my bag up my shoulder further.

"You go all mysterious and sad, and I can't get a word of sense out of you!" he said, flinging his arms up in exasperation. "It's no fun," he said softly, his eyes sincere when I looked over to him. "Silence and sad eyes," he murmured, and I looked away. I realised that he wasn't walking beside me; I turned around to find him standing a few metres away. "I don't know where you're going but I'm going home," he called, walking away in the opposite direction. I sighed. I was such a fool. I hurried after him, catching up with him easily.

"I'm sorry," I sighed in a rush of air.

"Hmm?" he said as he unlocked his front door, flicking on the lights and off the alarm.

"For being such an arse," I muttered, shrugging off my coat. "I walk around like I've got a stick in my arse all the time, I know. But… I don't mean to."

He'd crept up behind me and I jumped with a start when his lips kissed the nape of my neck softly, arms wrapping around me from behind. "It's okay. You had some shite childhood, didn't you?" I felt myself curl in on myself, but he hugged me harder. "I'm not a psychic or anything. It doesn't take a genius to figure out you're a little broken." I turned around and looked at him; he smiled at me softly and kissed me gently. "So don't apologise to me. Okay? Or I might drop-kick you for sheer sissiness."

"You couldn't drop kick a tennis ball," I muttered, and he chuckled softly.

"You're slightly bigger than a tennis ball," he murmured, and squeezed me, frowning. "Not much heavier though… do you eat? You know there's a whole theory you're some alien that doesn't eat normal food and that's why you're so thin and uptight the whole time."

I quirked an eyebrow. "You just made that up," I said accusatorily. He simply grinned. "Two minutes," I said finally. He looked at me oddly. "You've gained another two minutes."

"From just one kiss and a bit of a girly heart-to-heart? Oh, I can do better than that," he grinned, and literally lifted me up.

"KAKERU!" I screamed, flailing in his arms. "Put me down!!" He laughed a tad manically and I calmed a little as he carried me up the stairs. It was rather sweet, really. He kicked open his bedroom door and flung me on the bed, pouncing on me straight away. His lips worked and his teeth bit at my neck before I could properly register my surroundings. There were photos… everywhere. All over the walls. And quite a few of them – ohgod – had me in. And the ones – dear – that did had little hearts next to them. Just tiny ones. Nnngh. But still there. Ohhh…

I wasn't sure how long we sat there, just kissing and lying in silence with our own thoughts before kissing some more. Every second was magical, suspended in time like a raindrop. Quite a good metaphor; I was a sponge, soaking up everything he could give me. Eventually the good and the bad. I was lying on my side, and he was behind me, his arm wrapped around my waist as we stared out of the window. We watched the sun sink below the horizon, and I was glad that I'd been right; tomorrow had been better.

I rolled over again, kissing him gently. "Is that your idea of a goodbye?" he murmured, and I smiled, nodding.

"Sorry," I whispered back.

"Stay with me?" he murmured. I looked away. I wanted to, but if I missed a whole night… Shigure was bound to tell Akito. And then… "It's okay," he whispered.

I felt myself cough a choked sob. "I want to," I whispered. "Really." I fanned out my fingers on his chest. "But my family…"

"Really. It's okay." He was smiling gently. He leant up and kissed me gently, hovering pressed close for a moment after we'd parted. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I laughed. "Don't remind me," I groaned. "Dress code colours tomorrow."

He grinned. "I don't know why you put up with us," he muttered. He stood up and walked over to the wall.

"Neither do I." He turned back to me and proffered something; a photo of us before the holidays. He was smiling, and so was I; a rare occurrence in the least.

"It's my favourite," he murmured. "But I'll make an exception." I smiled back at him, kissed him once more briefly as I slipped the photo into my pocket and walked down the stairs. He watched me walk down the path and go the wrong way – he shouted out to me and I turned round with a death-glare and hurried off in the other way, blushing desperately – and on the way home I sat on the bus and stared at the photo with a smile. I only had one other photo; I slid it out of its frame easily, letting it fall to the floor quietly. Tohru stared up at me innocently as I slipped the new one into the frame and ran my fingers once more across his face before turning away.

A/N

Writing Kakeru and Yuki quibbling is the most fun I've had in ages. :D