This chapter is dedicated to Vikertee, who sent many lovely reviews, and whose comments I appreciate dearly. Also, thank you to Wanderetess, glad to see you're still reading! Sorry this has been so long coming, excuses at the bottom.

The Future

"I reckon you're gay."

I looked down at my naked body lying next to his, and raised an eyebrow. "You think?"

He ignored it. "I mean, it makes perfect sense, when you think about it. Your anal attitude, your complete lack of interest in girls."

I rolled over onto my stomach, burrowing my face into the pillow. "Your powers of deduction amaze me." I did feel a tad guilty… did he need to know about the curse? No… not yet… it was nice not to have to tell him.

He traced his hand along my spine. "There's something you're keeping from me."

I peered at him with one eye. "I could say the same to you." He avoided my gaze.

Do you think… if I'd just told him… everything would be okay?

I shouldered my bag, ran my fingers through my hair and shrugged on my jacket.

I then took off my jacket and my bag and put them on in the more conventional order. I wished, I wished that Kakeru was here to tell me what to do. I fiddled with the strap on my bag, knowing our picture was mere centimetres of fabric away. I slid my fingers in, picked it up and without looking at it threw it on the fire. I walked out; I had to get ready for school.

I checked on Kakeru before I went to my locker; he was chatting with Machi in the library. He never was too hard to find. I didn't let him see me, and walked to my locker quickly. Tohru avoided me; Kyo avoided me; Momiji avoided me. Haru laid a hand on my shoulder before joining the aforementioned noisy trio at the end of the hallway. I sent him a cold glance; I could see he was annoyed with me for rejecting him but I wanted them all away.

And I wanted Kakeru here.

But, as ever, it wasn't allowed.

It was actually a small price to pay for Kakeru's sanity.

That night, Hatori had escorted Kakeru home without a word being exchanged between us; I didn't even know how much Kakeru knew. I don't think I'll ever know, now. Seeing Akito was predictably painful as ever; the number of times he said 'monster', 'whore' and 'liar' I think even Shigure lost count. He, useless as ever, hung in the background next to Kyo. He was there to repair Akito if anything went horribly wrong. I was forgotten.

Kyo.

He lost, in the end. We all lost. I lost Kakeru. He lost any shred of love he ever had for me. And Kyo lost the fight. He knows, now. He'll never be accepted.

Because the Rat. Me. The most important animal will hate him forever.

With Kakeru, I'd forgotten about the Curse. With Kakeru, I didn't give a fuck about Kyo. But Kakeru was gone and all I had left in my life was making sure Kakeru was happy and killing that fucking Cat. We only ever actually spoke once; he sat and looked pathetically up at me and as much as I wanted to slap him I couldn't bring myself to care enough. I could see in his eyes that he wanted me to hit him; well, I wasn't about to make this easy for him.

"You know how this goes, Kyo," I said softly, and walked away.

And I knew that he was watching me go, and I knew it was the cruellest thing that I could have done.

And I was glad.

School became intolerable. I was alone, isolated, stripped of my rank as head of the Council and replaced by a random girl in the year below. My freedom gone, I lived in the Main House. On the Inside. I slept on Hatori's floor; Akito refused to share the same building as me. Hatori never spoke to me. Shigure didn't speak to me. Tohru wasn't allowed.

Akito wanted to show me how alone I was without my God. And fucking hell, it was working. I was breaking. But I was worshipping the wrong God; I was a Satanist, converted to Kakeru. That way, madness lay, but I couldn't spend another second of my life drowning with Akito.

I was dying, in that house. Bit by bit, I was being crushed. Obliterated. Each part of me broken off and squeezed of any life until there was only Akito and being the great betrayer that I was.

The isolation I could take. The silence was only natural to me. The coldness was what finally got to me. After a few nights, I stopped crying. It's hard to cry when it's your fault.

Stupid.

Fingers languishing in my skin deliciously. "I love you too."

Little.

"Just never leave me," I gasped as his fingers slipped down across the side of my chest, pulling him close. "Never, ever leave me."

Whore.

After three months, two weeks, four days and about five and a half hours it broke.

If it had made it to three months, two weeks, four days and six hours I think I would have broken, because if I had to walk home alone one more night I think I might have jumped under something.

I was finishing up in a class, handing in my papers to the front, when Kakeru walked past me and smiled once. "Hi."

My heart soared. Just to be addressed… to be seen… I forced myself to stare at the floor and ignore him, but as he passed his fingers traced down the seam of my elbow and I nearly cried then and there. There was another horrible half an hour of droning before the day was over; I waited till everyone had left, as usual, to avoid being trampled, holding those few precious seconds in my chest before anyone could steal them away. I pushed my bag over my shoulder and headed for the door; I was staring at my feet as usual and smacked head on into him. I looked up and he smiled once more.

"Hi."

I floundered. A more accurate word would most probably be flailed, but I have a little more self respect than that. I flushed and looked at the floor. "I'mnotsupposedtotalktoyou," I said quickly and pushed past him, marching away down the corridor, my face on fire.

"Yuki!" he was running after me, his feet pounding on the floor. I sped up, but he still caught up with me halfway down the corridor. His hand wrapped around my arm, forcing me to stop. "Yuki," he said softly, and my heart raced.

I looked at the floor. "Go away," I whispered.

"No," he replied.

I looked up. "We don't do secrecy very well, Kakeru," I whispered. "This can only go wrong."

"Fuck them, Yuki," he murmured. "I was told that if I spoke to you again… well, your head of the family has a filthy mouth. But I decided, fuck them. I only get to live with you once. And I could see that you were dying and it hurt."

I stood and gaped at him most unattractively. "If they find you they'll kill you."

"I don't know," Kakeru said smiling. "They didn't last time. I think she likes me."

"Who likes you?" I said with a frown.

"Your head. Akito?"

"Akito's a guy."

He looked over me once. "I suppose it runs in the family." I sent him a death glare.

"Kakeru," I whispered. "Please." I wasn't sure what I was begging for anymore.

He stepped forwards, and I fought against every urge I had to step into his arms. "I know, Yuki," he whispered. His hand rested on my waist and I shuddered. I had to tell him. My breath caught in my throat…

I whispered…

"I'm Cursed, Kakeru." I waited for his reaction.

"Then I'm your guardian angel." He smiled and kept looking at me.

My mouth opened and closed a few times. "You don't understand."

"No, Yuki," he murmured. "I really don't." He looked down at the floor. "You said you loved me."

"I do." I really, really do. He raised an eyebrow and smiled. "It's just… my family…"

"I can tell your family are important to you, Yuki. Shit, I thought mine were bad. But when they stop you living…"

"I don't have a life without you," I whispered. I regretted saying it in an instant; more ammo to be used against me.

Kakeru laughed. "Can I prove to you that I feel like that too?"

I nodded. He leant forward, placed a hand on my neck and kissed me. I had forgotten how this felt. His tongue slid under my lips and moved against mine; I pressed against him as close as I can. "I missed you," I whispered.

"Yuki, no matter what Akito said to me, I'm not going anywhere."

My eyes filled with fear. "So you do remember?"

He wrinkled his nose in distaste. "It's not something I think I'll forget."

My breath caught in my throat. "I thought – but then how - how can you – still look at me – " Kakeru raised an eyebrow, held me at arm's length. "With the things that you were – "

"Yuki. I was told nothing. She – sorry, he – called me a load of cheap names and then someone grabbed her arm when she burst into tears and tried to fly at me." He wrinkled his nose again; my chest was pounding, I could hardly breathe – Akito cries? "I waited for her to calm down and that's when you came back in." He frowned for a moment. "Is she – he – whatever – … okay?"

I gaped. "You mean Akito didn't – hurt you or – "

"I'm fine, Yuki. I just stayed away a while because I don't like getting death threats for Machi." His eyes were horribly dark. That's why he's been hanging around her so much…

"But now?" I whispered.

"Now I realised that I couldn't keep missing you, and it's time Machi looked after herself." His hand brushed waveringly once across my cheek and he laughed nervously. "Fuck, Yuki. I just couldn't stop – I mean – " He laughed bitterly. "This sort of thing wasn't meant for me," he murmured softly. "I know I've said it before, Yuki, but…" his hand cupped my cheek and I noticed with a horrible wrench that he was crying. "I love you."

"Yes," I said simply, and he chuckled, closing his eyes; more tears slipped down his face.

"How can I – " He stopped, his hands wavering for a moment, his face cast sideways to the floor. "Yuki, will you come with me? Just for a minute," he added hastily, proving he didn't want anything from me.

"Of course," I said softly.

He began to walk; I followed, until he stopped suddenly and looked at me. He seemed to stand and stare at me for an intolerably long moment before he laughed, pulled me into a hug and started walking. I hurried after him, my bag banging into my thigh. It was dangerous. I was being stupid. He would get hurt. But… he laughed at me. Smiled at me. Touched me. And he didn't hate me.

Why hadn't Akito…

I shook my head softly, shushing myself. He was safe, and he still could stand the sight of me. These two things to me had seemed irretrievably far away before today. We stopped outside his locker; he punched in the combination and swung it open, fishing around for something out of sight. He pulled it to the front triumphantly and turned to me with a smile. "Close your eyes and hold your hands out," he announced, and I rolled my eyes, closing them slowly. I always hated shutting my eyes, and held them shut just as long as it took him to place something cool and soft in my palm, and when I sprung them open again I nearly fell over with shock. "It took ages to get the glue, and then… I was gonna give it to you, that time you came over, but we got kinda delayed." He smiled softly.

I looked back down at my hand, my finger tracing over the piece of wood gently. "Thank you," I whispered. Don't cry…

"What is it?" He sounded genuinely curious.

I let out a choked laugh. "Something happened – with Tohru – a while back. And she made this for me 'cause she didn't know how much longer she'd be here." I ran my finger over the carving again, remembering how much it had hurt to get this at first. I bit my lip. "She doesn't remember, so don't ask."

"She doesn't and yet you do?" Kakeru's eyes were stony.

I shook my head. "Don't," I murmured, and he looked away. "You fixed it for me," I said slowly, trying to make sense of the sentence.

"I did break it in the first place," he reminded me, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Indeed you did," I grinned, and then hugged him desperately. "Thank you," I whispered.

He held me at arm's length and stared into my eyes for a very long moment, and then said the worst thing I'd ever know him to say. "Come to Tokyo with me."

A/N

Exams are a bitch people! Seriously! Don't grow old, stay nice and young and revel in the fact you don't have them. Alternatively, if you are old enough that they're looming on the horizon, freeze time. That's what I wish I'd done.

Anyways, I'm running out of plotline, fast. What Kakeru said last is basically the final big shocker, and I don't know whether to end it after that one's done or… well, you'll see when I get there. This might just have to be another 7 chapter. My babies are all growing up so fast…

Right now, I'm sitting in a powercut, working off the battery. Damn electricity cuts.