Series: Naruto
Setting: AU
Prompt: 03: Funeral
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2, 594
Warnings: Death
Summary: No one likes to attend funerals but sometimes there is a positive side to death.
Lookin' On The Sunny Side Up
Scandal. People thrived on it to help them through their pathetic lives. Every week, hoards of women and teenage girls would swarm down to their local newsagents and supermarkets to pick out their favorite trashy magazine to see what start was dating who, who was being caught by the paparazzi coming out of nightclubs trashed. Who was rumored to be pregnant, dieting problems, rehab or in the case of one, who had been caught shoplifting. They all thrived for it but just like the sands of time, it dwindled away into yesterday's news and the new story took over.
That was what he was, yesterday's news. A stale story. His returning day back at the private school had a few whispers re-emerging but within the matter of minutes it was once again silenced to continue life as normal. Back in the same old home room listening to the teacher spew out dress codes at the group of hoodlum girls that were wearing tighter than regulation attire, boys falling asleep from staying up all night playing games. Even the brunette staring outside the window lost in his own daze and the blonde walking a very thin line in being sent to the principal's office for disrespecting the old battle axe. Things didn't change.
Or had they? A truce between the two of them had ended the feud that had been ongoing in the day the Uchiha arrived but yet nothing seemed different. They both ignored each other; small comments were whispered under breath by the group of friends swarming Deidara towards the other and neither one would establish eye contact. So really was there a difference?
The bell rang taking the class out to their different directions except for the two who headed the same way. AP Human Geography was the class up for them. Seats taken away from each other as the teacher arrived, placing her books down on the table as well as a box that would surely be used at a later date.
"Hello class. How is everyone going with their final projects?" she asked cheerfully at the dreary faced students who did not look happy to be there at all. She could have reminded them that it was their final year so they should just grit their teeth and bear through it but it was already a given with how antsy they were.
One by one she asked between the groups for an update, nothing specific since it would be given in their final presentations but just something to keep them on their toes to make sure it wasn't going to be a write up at the last moment. Thankfully there were only a couple of pairs that were left dumbfounded by the quick popped question but the rest were on track, even the two that didn't want to be with each other had found something to talk about each other.
"He is far too trusting for his own good, un" Deidara mused, looking playfully over at Itachi, giving him a little poke of his tongue.
The ooooohs of the class sounded loud, every head turning towards the Uchiha waiting for a retaliation that would have both of them sent off awaiting punishment. "He is not happy," was all that the reply he got from Itachi that had them all confused, including Deidara.
Before it could get out of control with questioning, Takako cleared her throat and started writing up the lesson on the board. Today's topic was the adaption to newborn life, how parents adjusted well and some did not with post natal depression. They were to analyze the impact on factors such as environment, peer support, wealth and social class. In a discreet way, it seemed more like a way to prepare the more promiscuous ones into a life of teenage pregnancy but they would not have put it passed the schooling system to throw that one in. Next thing they would know, they would be given plastic babies that cried constantly that needed to be tended to no matter what time of night it was.
"Listen up, I have a project for you in your pairs," Takako announced.
Twenty students rolled their eyes simultaneously at the extra homework they were about to be given. Another project? Didn't they have enough already with the stalking mission? Apparently they did not as the box that had been forgotten about was opened; a hand dipped inside pulling out a beige oval object that was held up for all to see. Twenty jaws almost dropped to the ground at the egg that she was holding in disbelief. Oh god no, please anything but that.
"This is your baby. Call it whatever you want," she grinned from ear to ear at the pleading looks, flicking her fiery red locks over her shoulder as she moved to the desks. "You are to care for it, attend to its needs and observe how it hinders your lifestyle. Schedules are too be taken into consideration so you can plan between each other as the good parents you are to take turns of looking after it. If they come back chipped, broken, replaced... you fail."
The uproar started through the class at the conditions that they were subjected to. This wasn't parenting classes; they weren't making baby clothes to prepare themselves for sixteen years of no lifestyle. But Itachi wasn't too worried about it at all; instead he stared out the window while the rest continued their protests. It was just carrying around an egg; it wasn't the end of the world or anything.
The teacher finally made her way over to him and placed the small little thing in his palm, the last person in the group to receive it as she went back up to the front. "See you next week with them," she almost laughed but she remained professional about it as the bell sounded.
"Looks like you are the mommy then, un," one cheery blonde mused, leaning over the desk with his hands balancing on the edge. Plus the thing wasn't in his hands so he didn't have to take responsibility for it as well and just pass the assignment off. Itachi was a nerd; there would be no way he would allow a drop in grades over an egg and him not participating.
Slowly the raven's eyes peered up from his gaze on the adopted child and to the self proclaimed daddy, giving him a shrug instead. "What are we going to call it?" he asked before looking back down at it.
"Have you lost your mind? It's an egg," Deidara pointed out. "Call it breakfast."
Nodding at him, he stood to his feet with Breakfast cradled in his hands. "I will take care of it today, you can have it tomorrow."
Watching Itachi leave for his next class, the blonde turned his nose up with a huff of "yeah right," heading his own direction to class. There was going to be no way that he was going to waste his precious time in partaking in something so ridiculous in caring for a newborn omelette.
The days passed without sight of the blonde or an offer to take up his side of the deal, even when they passed in the hallway there was only a scoff and a promise to get it after the next break but of course that time never came. Then came the last day of the school week and Deidara was still skipping out on his 'fatherly' duties, leaving Itachi all week to take care of it. He could confirm at least that Breakfast was in good hands.
Sitting under his usual tree reading his book quietly, he glanced over at the egg at his side. The Uchiha had accommodated it well including a small box filled with fluffy kitten paw printed tissues to keep is safe. A lick of his fingers and a turn of the page, continuing to read even as the light dulled with the shadow lingering overhead.
"You're taking this egg business seriously aren't you?"
Not even a look in his direction as Deidara knelt down to investigate. He was probably there to say that he will look after it on Monday when the project was due. "It's for the grade," he reminded him with a right mind to tell the teacher that he did nothing towards helping.
He expected him just to leave and go on his own way but instead Deidara sat down next to him and leaned over closer. "Whatcha reading?" he asked, almost sticking his head into the book looking for the title.
"Ginga Eiyū Densetsu by Yoshiki Tanaka," Itachi replied with a shift of the book over so he could get a better look.
Expecting nothing more than a huff and a snort at how ridiculous it was to be reading an outdated science fiction novel but instead he felt a head resting on his shoulder. He was tempted to ask him what he was doing but instead he moved the book between the both of them and started explaining the story to him. When he was away from the influence of his friends, Deidara was an okay person to get along with or maybe it was because of the truce. A loud call out for the blonde telling him that they were going to have a smoke and that he should come, broke that fleeting moment they had apart with a promise that he could be back to collect the egg for real at the end of the day.
With a quiet nod, he watched him leave, leaning back up against the tree with a breathless sigh. Whatever it was, for that brief moment he did enjoy his company.
Just as promised, Deidara did come and collect the egg for the weekend leaving him free to do whatever he wanted. Not that there was much anyway except for a trip to the cinemas to watch a movie and then back to the comfort of his home, locked away in his room. That was until he heard his phone ringing.
Studying the number that flashed up on screen, he searched his memory to see if he recognized it. Nope, no one and on top of that not many people had it. If it was a telemarketer wanting to convert him to another plan then he would be very unhappy.
Reluctantly he answered the phone with a quiet hello, waiting for a foreigner to start talking but instead he had to quickly rip the phone away from his ear before it started bleeding.
"Itaaaaaaaaaaaaaachi! We have problems, un."
His voice sounded panicked and breathless, the image of the blonde running around flailing his arms in the air came to mind but instead there was one thing that was pressing him first. "How did you get my number?"
"That's not important, just get here now! Here is my address."
As soon as the last syllable was uttered, the phone was hung up before the raven could question what was going on and why it involved him. Still there was something so with instructions in hand, he borrowed his mother's car and headed over as a cruising speed. It didn't sound like that much of an emergency.
Arriving at what was hopefully his house, his knuckles knocked at the door a couple of times before he stood back and waited with his arms crossed. Seriously, this had to be something big to call him out or else he was going to scold him for the interruption of his schedule. The door swung open with an out of breath blonde panting deeply, the look of terror splattered across his face that was almost as pale as a ghost. Without even a greeting, his arm was wretched into the house and lead through the maze of furniture to the kitchen to where they stopped with a furious point at the floor.
"What are we going to do, un?" Deidara asked, still pointing radically at the floor.
Glancing down he wondered if there was a point to why the floor was so fascinating but going along with it, he looked down. A sharp inhale and a shake of his head was the only answer he gave to what was before him, teasing the bangs on his face almost tempted to slap himself in the forehead. "How did this happen?" he asked, kneeling down to inspect the evidence.
Deidara quickly knocked the mop behind the side of the refrigerator so the murder weapon was out of his line of sight. He had been mopping the floor and maybe he was dancing with it at the same time but instead he swung around too fast and then… bam. "It fell," he meekly replied.
Cracked eggshell, splattered yolk and pools of white. Breakfast has been prematurely taken from their lives. Collecting some paper towel, Itachi began to clean the mess soaking up all the leftovers as well as the shell, taking it over to the sink with the absorbent tissue hanging high, ready to go into the garbage disposal.
"Maybe we should give it some parting words." Deidara suggested, standing next to Itachi with his eyes fixated on the hungry hole below that was about to eat their project.
An inward glance towards the blonde, unbelieving that he wanted him to do a eulogy on behalf of the fallen food. For someone who didn't want anything to do with it in the first place, he was certainly taking its death seriously. A sigh and a roll of his eyes, Itachi accepted it and began his words to help it through to the afterlife.
"Breakfast. We will not forget you. I will remember you on Monday when that failing mark is handed out."
A hard slap across his arm from Deidara for saying that but it was true at least. This little guy was not going to make it to class. "…But your family will miss you."
The grinding whir of the gears and blades clanking around was the death march for him, dropped into the endless void and torn apart to visit many of his friends in the sewers. Both of them were silent until the pulverizing stopped. Breakfast was gone.
It was a solemn trudge into class. The life they were meant to protect was gone. Loudly, the teacher called for them to present their eggs for final assessment, one by one each student filed up some of them empty handed. Looked like they weren't the only ones that had accidents along the way. Some had eaten them, some had left them behind or misplaced them but at least they weren't alone in the egg drama. The ones that were lacking fretted for their marks, Itachi and Deidara one of them as she stepped out to her teaching position with a grim look.
"You have each learnt a lesson in life with this… and it was never to be marked. I just didn't want you to dump them all in the bins after class finished," he laughed heartily, very impressed with herself. "In adversity you will band together with your partners to overcome and accept. That was the true lesson."
A loud uproar started between the other students that had lost their egg along the way but there were two who did not worry about joining in, instead looking over towards each other, shaking their head at the fact that they had been duped. But she was correct, they slowly rubbing off on each other.