The Ex Factor

Ethan paused before the bedroom door, looking back at Gwen on the bed. It had taken hours to get her to sleep, but finally he'd convinced her to take a pill to help her. Now for the first time in hours, she finally looked peaceful. Quietly, he slipped into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

'I can't believe what a crazy day this has been.' He thought to himself as he walked down the hall to his study. 'I can't believe some sicko used the memory of our dead daughter to hurt Gwen. I can't believe that person might be Theresa.'

Shaking his head, he sat down at his desk. He had to get Theresa out of his mind. Besides, he had work to do. He looked at the stacks of case files on his desk. One for the Stuart Allen case, one for Julian's custody suit. 'Good thinking, Ethan.' He grumbled to himself. 'Way to get her off your mind, when even your work is all about her.' Theresa was right-he'd taken the cases out of revenge. When did being an ethical lawyer matter less to him then keeping Theresa close-and punishing her for not putting him first?

Ethan stood up, all thoughts of work evaporating as he began to pace his office. 'I hate what this is doing to Gwen, to Theresa, to me. All of us used to have ethics, all of us were good people. Now look at us. I used to blame Theresa for everything but it was me, too. And deep down, I never wanted her to stop manipulating me. I loved knowing the lengths she'd go to just to keep me. Now I don't have that safety net anymore, and I hate it.'

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. 'We've got to talk this out. Once and for all, I will end things with Theresa. Tonight.' He began to dial, knowing that he was lying to himself again, and not caring. He just wanted to see her, to smell her...then he wanted to feel her. Then he wanted...

The phone was ringing.

"Hello?" It was Theresa's voice, but subdued. She sounded upset.

"Theresa, it's Ethan. You never came to my office today, and we still need to have that talk, even more so now. I want to know who was behind that phone call."

"And you think I know." Theresa's voice was flat. "Ethan, listen to yourself. You think that I was involved in that phone call about Sarah. You think I would sink low enough to use your dead child as a way to get to you." She sighed heavily, and Ethan could hear the beginnings of tears in her voice. His heart constricted-how he hated causing her pain, but he didn't seem to be able to stop himself.

"Theresa, just meet me somewhere, OK? How about at the office?"

There was a pause for a moment. "I can't, Ethan."

"It's just to talk, Theresa."

"You know what, Ethan? I'm not stupid. I can't really blame you for thinking I am, considering the way I've let you take advantage of me. But maybe I really am growing up, Ethan. Maybe I value myself more than letting someone who doesn't even trust me, who thinks I do horrible things, manipulate me into bed."

"That's not what-" Ethan began to protest.

"No, Ethan! The candy store is closed, OK? No more! If you really wanted me, you would have divorced Gwen by now. And if you ever really loved me, you'd believe in me, and not believe every awful thing Gwen accuses me of. It's not worth it any more. YOU'RE not worth it. Goodbye, Ethan."

CLICK.

Ethan stood frozen in place, staring dumbly at the receiver in his hand. "No, she did not just hang up on me." He mumbled to himself, stunned. Sure, he'd heard it from her before, but after the other night, in Chris's office, he was sure that Theresa would never turn him down again.

'Wrong.' A voice in his head taunted him. 'You've finally pushed her away. Good going, dumb ass.'

Ethan groaned aloud. It was over and settled. Theresa had decided for him. He should be happy. He should go upstairs right now, get in bed next to his wife, and put all this behind him.

But he couldn't. There was no way that he could let Theresa go.

So now what the hell was he going to do?

Gwen

"Sarah..." the whisper escaped Gwen's lips as she tossed restlessly on her pillow. Behind her closed eyelids visions came at her, one on top of another. Ethan caressing her swollen belly as they made plans for their baby's nursery, the constant beep of the hospital equipment during her stay, the fight with Theresa, the agonizing pain ripping through her, nearly splitting her in two as she struggled to bring her child into the world...the nightmare of waking up, reaching for her baby, looking in her bassinet, only to find...

'No, God, please no...not my baby! Sarah, please come back to me!' Tears streamed down Gwen's cheeks, wetting the pillow beneath her. Yet still she couldn't wake up, still she was caught in the nightmare's grip.

"I don't think you want Sarah to be alive. I think that you would rather Sarah be dead so you can keep blaming me for it." Theresa's mocking words echoed over and over in Gwen's head until finally a heartrending scream ripped from her throat.

"Noooo!" Gwen sat straight up in bed, the sweat soaking her nightgown. For a moment she stared bewildered at the sunlight streaming through the window, casting a cheery glow onto her room. The memories she'd been lost in all night still had her shaking.

Suddenly the door to her bedroom opened abruptly. "Gwen, are you alright?" An anxious voice spoke.

Gwen stared in surprise. Pilar stood at the foot of the bed, looking anxiously at her as she balanced a gurgling Jane on her hip.

"Pilar? What are you doing here? Where's Ethan?"

"I stopped by to see Jane...and to speak to you. Ethan had some work he needed to do at his office so I offered to watch her until you woke up."

"I see." Gwen felt a twinge of irritation. Ethan should have been the one at her side when she woke up. She needed him right now, but of course he had something more important to do. For a moment the urge to tell Pilar to get the hell out of her house overcame her, but she shook it off. Pilar had done nothing to her-it was Ethan she was angry at. And Theresa-would she never stop being angry at her?

"Just let me get dressed, and then we can talk." Gwen climbed out of bed.

"Of course." Pilar carried Jane out of the room.

Gwen dressed quickly and headed towards the kitchen. As she approached, a delicious smell filled the room. She walked into the kitchen to find Jane contentedly eating breakfast in her highchair as Pilar cooked at the stove.

Pilar turned as she heard Gwen approach. "I'm sorry, I hope you don't mind, but you don't look well. You need to eat." 'And it's not like Rebecca's going to come over and take care of you the way a mother should.' Pilar thought to herself as she eyed Gwen's pale complexion. 'I can forgive you for all you've done. I can almost even understand why you've done them, considering the horrible example that woman's set for you.'

"Thank you, Pilar." Gwen took the plate the older woman offered her, unable to disguise the surprise in her voice. Why should Pilar be so kind to her after all that's happened?

Pilar poured herself a cup of coffee and joined Gwen at the table. "I was hoping.." she hesitated for a moment, then plunged in. "I was hoping that I could take Jane this morning-just for a few hours."

Gwen began to protest but Pilar gave her a pleading look. "Gwen...please don't be afraid that I'm trying to take her from you. I won't lie to you...I feel Jane belongs with Theresa. But you've-you've been a good mother to her, and Jane loves you. I know how much she means to you. I love her too though, and I miss her. So does Theresa. We just want to spend a little time with her and it will give you a chance to rest. I promise I will have her back by lunchtime."

Gwen stared down at her plate for a moment. Every fiber of her being wanted to scream no, but looking into Pilar's honest eyes and seeing the hope there...well, she was exhausted. And she trusted Pilar. She shouldn't, considering Pilar had brought that witch Theresa into the world, but she did. Slowly, Gwen nodded. "Alright. But she's back by noon. Please make sure Theresa understands that, or I will make sure she doesn't see Jane again."

"I will." Pilar smiled brightly. "I'll bring her back myself, and you won't have to see Theresa at all." Standing up, she walked over to the highchair and began to clean Jane up.

Gwen stood up as well, admitting to herself she did feel much better since she'd eaten. She just hated the knot of fear in her stomach that appeared whenever Theresa's name was mentioned. She knew she'd be biting her nails until Jane was back in her arms-thank God it was only a few hours.

"Gwen.." Pilar had Jane's jacket on the toddler and the diaper bag slung over her shoulder, ready to go. "Are you sure you're ok?"

Gwen exhaled shakily. "I...I don't know, Pilar. After yesterday...it just all came back. Just when I thought the pain was easing, it's like Sarah's death was yesterday."

Pilar hesitated before she spoke again. "Have you given any thought to what Theresa said? About.." She stopped at the look on Gwen's face. "Never mind. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, wait, Pilar." Gwen's voice stopped Pilar as she was walking out the door. "I have thought about it. Pilar, please look at me." She waited patiently until Pilar had turned and was looking directly into her eyes. "Did Theresa have anything to do with that phone call? If she did, for God's sakes please tell me and put me out of my misery. It's killing me!"

Pilar looked at Gwen directly. "Theresa swears to me that she didn't, and I believe her. I saw the look on her face yesterday, and she was as shocked as anyone."
Gwen sank back down into the kitchen chair. "Then I have no choice. If Theresa didn't do it..." she shook her head. "I'm going to ask that the autopsy records be reviewed. Just in case..God, I hate doing this. I want my baby to rest in peace, but I have to know that this was just a sick prank and nothing more."

Pilar nodded. "I think that's best, Gwen. You'll have peace of mind, once you know." She began to walk out the door again, then stopped. "Gwen, I talked to Theresa yesterday and I know it's not my place, but there's something I need to say to you as well. I'm not proud of everything my daughter has done over the years to you. Her behavior has been inexcusable at times."

Gwen nodded. "I'm glad you see it that way, Pilar."

"I'm not finished." Pilar's voice turned stern. "I could say the same for you, Gwen. When Jane is old enough to understand, when she hears the whispers and the rumors about you all over town, what will you say to her? Will you really be able to speak with pride about all you have done? Deep down, I believe you are a good person. You've overcome your mother's terrible parenting admirably. But...Gwen, if you keep letting hatred eat at you, you're gong to look in the mirror someday and see a monster. Is that the example you want to set for your daughter? Is that the way you want to live your life, in bitterness, and plotting, and scheming? Don't you want to be happy?"

Gwen was too shocked to speak, and Pilar took advantage of that moment to carry her granddaughter out the door, shutting it quietly behind her, hurrying before Gwen could recover her bearings and change her mind.

"How dare she.." Gwen began to speak out loud, but she couldn't even finish the sentence. Pilar's words had pierced her heart. 'It's Theresa's fault..it is.' She whispered to herself as a tear slipped down her cheek. 'But Pilar is right. I don't even recognize myself sometimes. I never wanted to be this way.'

She sat there for a few minutes, taking deep breaths, until she felt calmer. Standing up, she reached for the phone. "Theresa is at the bottom of my priorities." She whispered to herself as she reached for the phone. "Right now, all I care about is clearing up what happened to Sarah, for once and for all."

TBC