AN- Let's get straight back to business, shall we? Thanks for all your reviews, support, comments and patience.
26th June
1886
I knew there would come a time when I would cease to enter more into this diary, but I have caught up with myself. I have only a moment to spare! Over the last few months, I have been cautious about when to take my elixir but I have experienced so much which I would never have dared without my disguise.
The taverns, the darkest corners of Soho and the people who linger there and the 'women of the night'. None of this I would have had the courage to do unlike those gentlemen I have spied, leading their double lives with only a turned up collar and the shadows to disguise them, gentlemen I have known in social circles. It goes to show how we are all guilty, but I walk more confidently than them of late.
20th August
1887
Until this night, nothing more of significance has happened. Over the past year I have continued both of my lives without trouble. But tonight as I settled into sleep, only a few hours passed before I woke again, uncomfortable somehow, in a strange manner. I raised a hand to take up my watch and was shocked to find it was not my own- larger with coarse hair upon it, I realised that somehow Hyde had come out of me as I slept. I jumped out of bed, hurrying down to the laboratory as fast and silently as possible. I prepared and took a draught of formula but it took yet another to restore me. Unable to sleep again, I took to my desk to write this account and the thought of it plagues me greatly. How can he have escaped from me?
13th October
1887
The most horrific turn has been taken in my situation since I woke up in the form of Edward Hyde. When I choose to wander London in his body it is as though I am no longer able to choose where it is I go. I could end up anywhere and depend upon Hyde to bring me back home. However, he does favour walking about by the river, using occasionally a house in Soho I acquired for him. This is where he hung about, silent and a passer by came down the way. I did recognize him, an important figure and he questioned Hyde as he came past. It was nothing really- a little suspicious, I will admit- but it did not warrant the events that followed.
With the cane that I received from Gabriel, a heavy, sturdy thing which Edward usually walked with, he struck the poor man hard and he just crumpled under the blow. An elderly gent he didn't stand a chance against my monster- who beat him to death, with such violence that the cane was snapped in two!
Such a horrific scene I have never witnessed before in my life and I was powerless to stop it. It was like floating in the back of my own mind while Edward came to the front. There on the ground before us lay Sir Danvers Carew- Hyde had killed an MP- such a scandal it would be! And Edward was keen to flee the scene when he realised what I knew about this man.
I discovered later that there was a witness, a maid, who saw the ghastly affair from her window and alerted the authorities. I swear now to keep Hyde locked inside me as he was before, never to unleash that demon again!
25th October
1887
I have returned to my life as normal. Although the equations for the formula remain in my laboratory, I have not set foot in there since the night of the murder. However, Edward does not leave me alone at any time. I hear his voice now, even though I am in control, and he speaks to me, taunts me. He is like a dark conscience giving me ill advice and striving to tempt me…he is developing something like his own mind within mine.
The worst thing is, I sometimes find myself answering him out loud which makes me feel even madder than simply being able to hear him at all…
7th December
1887
Utterson has invited me to celebrate Christmas with him and Lanyon this year at his home. I agreed with reluctance. I pray that Hyde will remain dormant for that one day…I even hesitate to continue my documentation because of is incessant criticism.
1st January
1888
The New Year does not bring me new luck, I can sense it. Thankfully I did not have an outburst on Christmas day in front of my old friends, although Edward was not silent and they could see my distraction. I did all I could to shut him out, to no avail. His voice just got louder. But as soon as I left Gaunt Street and Gabriel's home, I just had to shout back at him to be silent.
2nd January
1888
Feeling in better spirits, I walked through Regent's Park and enjoyed the cold air. But my good mood was short lived- whilst sitting on a bench, Hyde took over me again and I rushed to a hotel in Portland Street where he surprisingly allowed me to wait out the transformation.
9th January
1888
Last night I dined with Lanyon, and wrote him a letter when I got home, sending it to him quickly with one of my servants. I asked him to collect a book and a drawer containing measured chemicals from my house today and take them with him.
I can take no more of the voice or the temptation, and I have been so tired and ill of late…I fear the elixir has an addictive quality. I took the draught and Hyde left to enjoy his freedom in Soho. Hours later I persuaded him to go to Lanyon's as I had planned. Hastie was reluctant to let him in, but I pressed in my letter that he should give him entry and expect him in the evening.
In front of the Doctor, Edward began to change back into me, growing taller and the clothes fitting. It did not hurt as badly this time, but it was definitely painful. Poor Lanyon looked mortified and I finally explained myself to him. He told me to leave, still in shock, understandably once I had finished, although I was disheartened that he wouldn't permit to stay…
I feel a greater sense of loneliness than ever before. Even around my friends and other groups, I am alone always, with Edward…I took the book and the chemicals back home with me, as the transformation back had thankfully taken place without their assistance.
To Be Continued.