The best of the best: prelims
4. Jakotsu vs. Kurama
(in the crowd)
Bankotsu: Good Luck, Jakotsu!!
Renkotsu: Elder brother, please do not shout in my ears.
Bankotsu: sorry. Hey, if this tournament is the best of the best, then why am I not in it? I'm one of the best…
Suikotsu: That would be because whoever had the idea for this sadistic tournament decided that Jakotsu would be better for torturing the other fighters. Notice how most of the contestants are males.
Mukotsu: I think that's the most you've ever said at once.
Suikotsu: Shut up.
Yusuke: Is Kurama fighting a girl or a guy?
Kuwabara: I don't want to know… I think it's a guy, though.
Keiko: Good luck out there, Kurama!
Koenma: He'll need it. I looked his opponent up in the Reikai database before I came here. That guy's an undead, brought back to life by something called a Shikon jewel shard. In other words, you can't kill him unless you remove it.
Yusuke: What the---? Stop popping up like that! I'm not used to you being at eye-level!
Koenma: Stop being so easily taken by surprise!
Botan: (bonking both of them) Quiet! They're starting!
(sidelines)
Hiei: What? A human is going up against Kurama? Idiot, the human's doomed.
Sesshomaru: Jakotsu is stronger than he looks.
Hiei: HE? That's a GUY?!
Inuyasha: How'd you know, Sesshomaru? Did you fight him or something?
Itachi: Something's not right about the sword Jakotsu carries…
Miroku: So you've noticed it, then?
Aoshi: That is a trick blade, isn't it?
Inuyasha: Close enough. You underestimate Jakotsu and you die.
Sasuke: Kurama doesn't look like tough competition. Don't think he'll last long…
Hiei: Just watch. He may surprise you. Kurama can control any plant within his aura.
Naraku: interesting… I wonder, is he a half-breed like Inuyasha? Kukuku…
(in the ring)
Announcer: Match four, Jakotsu and Kurama, please step forward!
(Kurama and Jakotsu enter the ring. Fangirls go wild. Half hour later, fangirls are still going.)
Kurama and Jakotsu: …… stupid fangirls…
(fangirls shut up after a few more minutes)
Kurama: Let's get started before the fangirls decide to freak out again.
Jakotsu: Ready when you are. (draws sword)
Kurama: ? Rose whip! (pulls out a rose and extends it into his whip)
Jakotsu: Ooh! You look even cuter now! (heart bubbles floating around)
Kurama: … (sweatdrops)
Jakotsu: Tell me; is your weapon as interesting as mine? (slashes at Kurama)
Kurama: How can you swing from so far…? (blocks first slash)
Jakotsu: hee hee… (twists wrist a bit, sword wraps around Kurama) Bye bye, cutie! (pulls sword)
Kurama: ! (is slashed very badly, loses arm, collapses) wh-what…? (passes out from pain and blood loss)
Jakotsu: Hey, announcer! Can I take his head off?
Announcer: Preferably not. Jakotsu wins! Botan, Yukina, can either of you reattach limbs?
(Botan and Yukina shake their heads no)
Announcer: OK, then it's you job, Orihime.
Orihime: OK. Souten Kisshun. (glowing half-oval forms over Kurama, healing him)
(sidelines)
Hiei: … no way… Kurama lost?!
Inuyasha: I warned you. Jakotsu is a sadistic little brat when he wants to be.
(in the crowd)
Keiko: What happened?
Koenma: Jakotsu was named for his sword. Jakotsu, the "snake bone." One good thing here is we know what he can do, so the next person has a good chance against him.
Bankotsu: YAH! Go Jakotsu!!
Renkotsu: ow… my ears…
END
A/N: Why do I go through this?! I can't believe I just typed Kurama's defeat… Oh well, at least we get to see Ulquiorra vs. Jakotsu next round. Next fight: Naruto vs. Aoshi! Naruto, do NOT use Secret Finger Jutsu! This is your only warning!