The best of the best: prelims
5. Naruto vs. Aoshi
(sidelines)
Kenshin: This one wishes you luck out there, Aoshi. Try not to kill him.
Aoshi: Thank you. I will kill him only if necessary.
Kagura: Don't talk much, do you?
Sasuke: Naruto, don't use the Secret jutsu. You will regret it against a guy like this, trust me. Ignore your inner prankster, for once.
Naruto: Aw, man! You're a spoil sport, you know that?
Itachi: Heh. This should be fun to watch. I'll get to see fox-brat's potential.
(in the ring)
Announcer: Alright, let's get moving, people! I'm not on an hourly paycheck, you know! Naruto, Aoshi! Get out here!
(both contestants enter the ring, Naruto grumbling slightly)
Aoshi: Not bothering with a weapon?
Naruto: Nah, I don't need one.
Aoshi: You're arrogant, boy… very well, I won't use one either. This will be an even match. You are unarmed, so I will be too.
Naruto: Ok, let's go! Shadow Clone Jutsu! (Seven more Narutos appear)
Aoshi: what is this technique? There are eight of him? Hyah! (roundhouse kick, slamming three of the Naruto clones, clones go poof and disappear)
Naruto: Man, this guy's fast! Gotta watch it… (pulls out Kunai)
Aoshi: (draws both kodachi) Good. I can count on a real fight now. Dual kodachi Nito-ryu! Shadow light cross! (strikes at Naruto)
Naruto: Wah! (loses another two clones, is down to two, plus the original) Oh, crap. (throws shiruken at Aoshi)
Aoshi: hmph. (easily blocks them with kodachi) Where'd the kid go…? Behind me…
Naruto: Secret Finger Jutsu! (Send Aoshi flying across the arena)
(in the crowd)
Kakashi: (sweatdrops) I should never have taught him that move…
Sakura: What the--? NARUTO---!
Inner Sakura: Die, freak!
Kaoru: Uh, did the kid just do what I think he did?
Yahiko: …… (sweatdrops)
Sanosuke: This Naruto person reminds me of a sort of evil twin of the midget. (midget, aka Yahiko, sneezes)
Misao: AAH! AOSHI-SAMA! Die, you freak!! (Kaoru, Okina, and the Kyoto Oniwabanshu are holding her back)
(sidelines)
(all but the most dignifies of the contestants have sweatdrops)
Itachi: That was Kakashi's special prank jutsu, wasn't it? (slight sweatdrop)
Sasuke: (head in hands, looking exasperated) Naruto, you bonehead…
Kenshin: …oro… (mega sweatdrops)
(in the ring)
Aoshi: ugh… that technique… (shudders in disgust) I must avenge my dignity! (charges towards the laughing Naruto)
Naruto: Hahahahahaha! Man, I got you good! Huh? Yai! (dodges a sword strike) Ow! (gets hit by flying kick, sent flying across the arena, as Aoshi had a few minutes ago)
Aoshi: (begins "sword dance") Can you follow my movements, boy?
Naruto: (strikes but misses) What the--? Which is the real one?
Aoshi: Don't bother. You cannot cut or strike water, so as my movements mimic water, you cannot strike me! Now, witness the secret technique of the Oniwabanshu Okashira! Kaiten-Kenbu Rokuren! (Naruto is slashed very badly, six times in an instant)
Naruto: Aaaagh! (is bleeding a lot)
Aoshi: Goko Juji! (slices off Naruto's head) Rot and die brat. (kicks head over to announcer's feet) Declare the winner. Now.
Announcer: um, o-okay… sheesh, scary… The winner is Shinomori Aoshi!
(sidelines)
Sasuke: NARUTO! (attempts to jump over the wall separating arena from sidelines, but is held back by Itachi)
Itachi: Cool it, little brother. You go out there, that guy's gonna kill you. He's still angry over the "secret finger jutsu" thing.
Kenshin: Oro… this one has never seen Aoshi-san so angry… (sweatdrop)
(in the crowd)
Sakura: NARUTO!… he… can't be… dead… (sniffling)
Koenma: It's ok, Sakura-chan. He won't be dead long.
Sakura: wha--? Who are you? sniffle wow… he's cuter than Sasuke… Whoa! Snap outta it, girl!
Koenma: (jumping over the boundaries between arena and crowd) Let's just say I can help. Botan, could you heal the injuries?
Botan: Yessir. (heals Naruto's body)
(Koenma uses the Mafukan hope I spelled that right to revive Naruto)
Naruto: What the--? I thought I was dead for sure that time!
Aoshi: You were, brat. You're lucky that the tournament has healers that skilled. (glares at Koenma)
(Koenma backs off, then goes back to Yusuke and the bunch. Sakura and Sasuke look relieved.)
Naruto: Man, being brought back to life sure gives me an appetite! Who's up for some ramen?
Inuyasha: Ramen? (looks very eager/hungry)
Sesshomaru: idiot…
END
A/N: Ok, I have a big feeling that everyone's gonna be furious with me for the Secret Finger Jutsu thing, but it was just too tempting. Seriously, my fingers just moved of their own free will. I had no control whatsoever. My deepest apologies for unintended offence taken by those who read this.