Noah POV
For the past couple of months I have been so confused. My heart hasn't been in the right place. Now come today and I go make myself even move confused. He was just going to parade around here with Maddie. I cant believe him. I know that I have been hurting him lately ,but I figured Luke as the kind of person that never gives up on what he wants.
I know what I just did and I can say that I don't regret it. I like Luke but the only thing is with me and Maddie my dad is happy. For the first time since I was five my father loves me. I feel like he wont have any feelings for me if I be the "real" me .
I am to the point were I really don't care about what people think of me. If it means hiding a huge part of me then I don't care. Ever since I have come to this town there was this tension that couldn't be explained between me and Luke. As the year progressed then that was when I started to grow confused about my relationship with Luke.
I hid behind the smartest and kindest girl I have ever met. She doesn't deserve this. She deserves someone that treats her like she is the only person in the world. She deserves someone that will make her happy and not someone that is pining over her best friend.
Maddie, I know will be crushed if I tell her that I'd rather be with Luke then her. I know that she'll never agree to being my friend. But I think that in the end she'll understand why I had to lie to her.
As Maddie walked out of the office I looked down. I thought about the day we first met. About what she was wearing and her laugh. Then I slowly looked up and as I did I saw Luke . He was slowly getting up and walking towards me.
I turned around to make it look like I was doing something. As I heard footsteps I tried to keep calm. I took a deep breath in and tried not to panic. When I heard him near I turned around.
"why did you just lie to Maddie?" He asked me.
"I needed to talk to you. That was the only way I could think of for her to leave. So that we could talk. I'm sorry," I told him.
"What do you need to talk to me about that couldn't have waited till tomorrow?"
"Us," I said nervously.
"Oh. So you lied to your girlfriend so that you could talk to me?"
By his tone he sounded angry. I stepped towards him.
"Yeah."
"So??" What are you waiting for?"
"I know that you said that I could be with Maddie. But I don't..."
I stopped talking.
"You don't what Noah?"
I took a deep breath and stepped even more closer.
"I don't want to be with Maddie?"
"You don't."
"No. I want to be with you Luke."
"Really? You have a hell of a way of showing it."
"I know that I have hurt you and you probably don't care for me anymore. But this thing between us is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I'm sure when you were going through what I'm going through it was confusing. I know that ever since I met you you have made my life better each day. I'm more then sorry about what I have put you through. I hope that you will try to forgive me because I need you in my life. I need you more than I have ever needed anyone in my life and that scares me. It scares me Luke that your the only one that seems to have the answers to most of my problems."
I stepped closer to him. We, now were about an inch from each other.
"I know that when Maddie and I get in arguments that you try to help me figure out what I probably did to cause it. You have been more then a friend to me. You are more then a friend. It took me this long to realize this and I don't want to loose you. I love you. I love.."
Before I could finish what I was saying Luke kissed me. It was the most freeing thing in the world. But while we were kissing the only thing that kept popping in my head was that I will have to face telling Maddie and my dad. I have to tell them. I cant keep doing this to them and most importantly me. I want them to be happy for me. I want them to except me for me and not who I have been pretending to be for a really long time.