solovino88 Dreams, Deferred too Long

"Scalar" — Chapter 4

CHAPTER SUMMARY:

This is a short chapter that is largely a reminiscence of the boat scene with Shadow and Tina/Terra. Some insight on the characters of Shadow and Leo, in their conversations with Tina, and that would be pretty much all.

DISCLAIMERS:

An always improving story inspired by Final Fantasy VI and written by Solovino88.

Despite what my fans (if any) may think of me, I own only the narration. The house is rented and the cat is her own landlord. As for the characters and the world of the story, they are © to Square Enix, formerly Squaresoft.

"What did this dream lead us to? Was it ever a goal, a happy ending for this dream we once had?"

Shadow opens his eyes, awakened by that same dream again. The soft lick of his companion, Interceptor, welcomes him to reality. With the strong winds that have covered the world ever since the Espers went mad, the journey is taking longer than expected.

Shadow looks at the food tray and the book over a desk. No, not hungry and not in the mood to read. Then at the door.

"Maybe a walk over the deck."

Shadow walks past the door, Interceptor laying behind, taking a nap.

General Leo was at the time running a routine check on board, accompanied by two soldiers. As he passed by the room assigned to Celes, he notice the soldiers remained silent and made no attempt to say anything about her. For the duration of the journey so far, no one but Leo has talked to her.

"It's not her fault. It's not theirs, either..."

The group of three continued their walk then passing by Shadow's room. Interceptor raised his head to sniff at the soldiers and let out a warning growl. One of the soldiers relented caught by surprise.

– Uh... do we have to keep this... mercenary, too?
– And the dog, too, - scowled the other soldier: – it gives me the goosebumps.
– Calm down folks, - responded Leo in a calm voice: – it's nothing. What did you expect from a mercenary's hound?

The soldiers swiftly stepped past Interceptor who didn't stop leering at them at any moment.

– Oh, and the rumour says it eats people - continued Leo: – so better leave alone.

The soldiers, eyes wide open, slowly turned back to see Interceptor, who welcomed their gaze with a smile... a display of his sharp teeth. Leo felt the soldiers shake and return to his side, to continue the briefing. Content with being left alone, Interceptor resumed his sleep.

– The itinerary won't be further affected, Sir.
– That leaves us reaching the beaches tomorrow morning, if the engines keep up this smoothly, Sir.
– Good, great - Leo shifted his weight as he came to the boat's stern. He noticed someone standing to the other side of the boat, alone, and dismissed the soldiers: – Why don't you take a break? The wind feels great in the bow.
– Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.

As the two soldiers walked away, Leo approached Tina who was meditating her situation. She noticed his presence, and welcomed him by moving away slightly. Leo responded by coming closer, taking a peek over the board, to the vastness of the ocean. He did not know how to start the conversation, but it was Tina who spoke first.

– Be all right?
– Still feeling empty... the thoughts have trouble forming in my brain... But here I am, cooperating with the enemy, how funny is that.
– People and things change - answered Leo with an air of hesitation, knowing well where the conversation was to head –, alas, there's people, and then there's Kefka.
Tina let her sight wander to the horizon again. Her face was expressionless.
– And what's about you, then?
– Me? - Leo seemed a bit surprised.
– I remember you.

Leo felt a sting. A part of himself berating him for what he had done, for what he had let happen.

– I knew, yes. Of the Espers and the Crown. I tried to refuse, but the Empire was going through a lot... I traded morality for safety, and I see now the trade had been unfair.
This time it was Leo's sight that reached to the horizon, following the path they had come from.
– In the end, I'm no different than Kefka.
– How... how can you state that? - asked Tina, surprised. She had regarded Leo as a completely different person. At least, she wanted to think that way, seeing all that Kefka had already done.
– Do you thing I was good to you, then?

Tina and Leo lowered their sights back to the water. They could see each other's reflection. It was so different now, Tina knew... the last time they had been together was when she was in a capsule and Dr. Cid was reporting the results of some experiments to Leo. Tina had only vague memories of that time, none of them she was too fond for.

– You know? - ventured Tina, breaking the uncomfortable silence: – I was the youngest soldier of the Empire ever.
– Yes, that I heard. I'm... well, kinda sorry... for that.
– And there you go again.
Leo shifted his position, keeping his sight fixed in the green-haired reflection in the water.
– At least, as a person, you've turned out pretty well...
The tension in the air was beginning to dissipate, but Leo felt there were still too many things left to say. As if to show her agreement on that, Tina let out a forced smile.
– Is that so? I'm not exactly a person.

Leo was about to open his mouth but Tina caught him short.

– What am I, really? The offspring of a human and an Esper... maybe an abomination of Nature?
– No... you were the product of their love.
– Love? - asked Tina in a grave voice. – I know nothing about those things. I only know about military training and this desire to kill inside me.
– Nonsense... Give it time... you are still too young.
– Give time? In this world?
As an answer, Leo nodded, and he, too, let out an ample smile, an expression of the utmost admiration in his eyes.
– We'll have time, yes. Once we find the Espers and reach an agreement, I'm sure things will turn for the better. No longer the Empire and the Returners in the frontpage, but our common desire for the world's welfare instead.
– Welfare - interrupted Tina, – is just a perception.
– Well, the common denominator of our perception, then. We all love to live the day, to be with our people, to sit back and watch in awe what we have achieved in life... Somehow we'll fight together to preserve all that.
– You talk like a regal romantic.

Tina saw the reflection in the water withdraw away, and heard Leo's steps walking away from her. He hesitated for a while, thinking she had offended him, a great General, but as she turned she was welcome again with that ample smile.

– Sorry - she said, as she pushed her hair away from her face with her free hand, – it's just, someone else I know... he always talks like that. Dreams for the future and the such...
– And is he a friend?
– Yes, he is...
Leo's smile disappeared, substituted by a serious, yet honorable expression, she had seen sometimes before.
– And, do you think his dream is worth fighting for?
Tina stood there, silent, her eyes fixated in the General. After a while she turned her sight away.
– What would I know? I don't have a dream of my own...
It was obvious in her looks that she was hiding, it was just that she wanted to believe...
– Then, do support him, and one day, you'll see...

Leo turned and walked again. Tina called him:
– See what?
The answer came as Leo kept walking, not turning back.
– What having a dream is about.

Tina saw General Leo leave, and returned to her self-berating. She peered off the board again, looking at her reflection. At the face in the water, challenging her, to do something that would make her feel worthy.

– I don't want 'one day'... - she told to herself. – I want dreams... future... love. I want them now!

The moon was high in the horizon. The stars twinkling. And the first lights of sun were fighting their way out from the sea to the east, to the other side of the ship.

Work would soon begin, and Shadow though it would be wise for him to go sleep a bit further. He turned heels and walked away, but after a couple of steps his ears picked the distinctive sound of a long, defing, cough.

Turning back, he could see in the corners of Tina's eyes, the product of a life as a soldier, as a monster, as someone who she would not have wanted to be, in the first place. Shadow felt taken. It was not everyday that a person was so abated he or she would show all of their facets in their mirrors of soul. And what Shadow perceived in her eyes, was the same desire of hope, simple and pure hope, he once had when he took to the top of the Bareen Falls with an old friend. He knew that feeling too well.

– Tina...
– Heard everything?
– Nothing that I care. I simply wanted to take a rest under the stars.
– Oh...

Tina made her disappointment very clear. She should know, alas, Shadow was not exactly the kind of person to look for emotional support on... and yet, she waited, patiently, as if believing he could actually provide her with help. But what kind of boost would he give to her?

"At least..." said Shadow to himself, "so that she can distract those troops for a while..."

Was that what he was thinking? Give her some encouragement to have her battle, to keep her focused on the false target? Put it simply, to use her as a tool?

"She can then live... with friends, their self-proclaimed utopia..."

Was that what he really felt about that group? Just a bunch of romantic freedom fighters who wanted a world of joy out of their killing spree? Just like the Empire, only with polar opposite reasons? Or was there something else he wanted from them?

"But I'm here for my own business... I must succeed..."

Was that he wanted a choice? He already had one, long ago, and except for the occasional wandering of his mind when he had too much spare time, he had lived with it. Ever since that day...

A man wearing some rusty clothes and a travel pack reached to the fenced that marked the exit out of the village. He had not turned back at any time; despite having heard for one year the cries of a life made of his own, he felt detached from everything ever since the woman he loved, passed away.

At the village's border, he heard a breathing at his side. His loyal hound had reached to him, despite instructions. The man left again some instruction to the dog, this time with a stern voice, and walked away. The dog sat there, waiting for some time, hearing the cries of an infant and the footsteps leading away... and made a choice of his own, all the might of his muscles set on the simple treat of reaching his master far away.

Shadow had made a choice. And he saw clearly Tina had to make her own choice, too... but deep inside, Shadow wanted to help her to never regret. And if it was to serve him to reach his goal, even the better. But he had to drive the woman carefully, exerting only the strength of will necessary to enlighten her in the real choices most people were not aware of. Nothing more, nothing less.

– Tina, look for answers within. Your emotions are your guide to the bareness of your soul...
Tina did not respond. She stared like a statue and made no sign of having listened to Shadow.
– But, be warned, they can be killed, without one realizing.
Still, no answer.
– And then we are left to wander the world not having goals to achieve, or memories to cherish.
Then came the counter.
– Just... like you?
– No, no... I am like others: those who kill their emotions to survive; those who did it by choice, not by accident or fate, and have henceforth accepted the consequences.
– Live, and abide by the consequences...
– When there was no other way.
– I see...
– Now, Tina, please, take a look at me.

Completely surprised, Tina turned to Shadow, her eyes examining each one of his features. His complexion, his build, his attire, his weapons, at least those that were at sight. Those eyes... and the instinctive urge in her telling her to protect herself against that... thing... that would surely kill her without hesitation... and without purpose. Such was the aura emanating from Shadow, yet he was simply standing still.
Shadow waited for a moment and then he turned around, slowly, raising his hand as a goodbye.

– Some people in the world have chosen to kill off our emotions. We become like what I am now. Always remember that.

Tina stood there, and after a while, she lowered her head to face the dock floor. A monster, a vessel of sheer power, with burning emotions. On the other hand, there was Shadow. More of a rarity, quite some power, and, proportionally, no emotions at all. Was there she was heading to? Was that to be she, after the very instant all she cared about were lost? Only streaks of pink as her identity?

She looked for an answer, to where Shadow's eyes would have been. She met nothing, he was long gone. To his room and the company of his hound, to ponder the choice he had made and the sacrifice available for him now, after years of wandering with his choice and his dog as sole company, and only one more thing left to lose.

End of Chapter 4

Next Chapter:

Doggie, meet Relm. Relm, meet doggie. Be careful, he bites... doesn't he?