The best of the best: quarter finals
2. Ulquiorra vs. Jakotsu
(sidelines)
Kurama: Careful out there, Ulquiorra. His sword--
Grimmjow: (interrupting Kurama) shut up and watch. Ulquiorra's stronger than he looks. Not that that's saying much… --, did I just complement him?
Ulquiorra: … (gives Grimmjow an icy glare of impending doom, then goes out into the ring)
Grimmjow: obviously not… (is relieved)
Jakotsu: Oh, this tournament is one of the best things that ever happened to me! All the cute bishonen, and I get to fight them! sigh (blissful smile)
Male contestants: …… (sweatdrop)
Sasuke: Naruto, you hold him down while I find some tranquilizer darts.
(in the ring)
Announcer: is he gone…? (scared due to reasons mentioned last time) ok, phew. Next match, Ulquiorra versus Jakotsu! Let the match begin!
Jakotsu: Yay! Another cute one! (heart bubbles floating around)
Ulquiorra: ……baka ningen...best to just get it over with…
(in the crowd)
Bankotsu: GO JAKOTSU!
Renkotsu: owww… my ears… elder brother, please do not shout while I am next to you.
Bankotsu: oh, sorry. (slightly impish smirk)
Renkotsu: … sigh
Szayel: hmmm… the human has strange powers… I wonder… (begins to plot an experiment to duplicate Shikon Jewel's powers)
(in the ring)
Jakotsu: heehee… I wonder, can you dodge my sword as easily as Inuyasha? (slashes at Ulquiorra)
Ulquiorra: how can this ningen dream of cutting me from such a range? Wha--? (gets hit with sword, which bounces off and wraps around him)
Jakotsu: two down… (pulls on sword)
Ulquiorra: … so, some strange sort of trick blade, is it? (sword returns to Jakotsu) You'll need a far sharper blade to slice through my hierro. (is completely uninjured)
Jakotsu: What th--? No one's been able to escape from my snake-bone sword uninjured! It's not possible!
(in the crowd)
Bankotsu: What the?
Suikotsu: Not even the mutt demon managed to escape Jakotsu's blade unharmed!
Szayel: You'll need an incredibly sharp blade to cut an Arrancar, and an even sharper one to slice Ulquiorra. He's set a record for the toughest hierro in Hueco Mundo history! I should know, I did the testing!
(sidelines)
(the people from InuYasha are staring blankly)
Inuyasha: what the -- just happened?
Sango: your guess is as good as mine…
Sesshomaru: that Ulquiorra has strong skin, to avoid being cut even once…
Grimmjow: Well, duh, you morons! He set a record back in Hueco Mundo, toughest hierro! (seeing blank expressions, translates) hierro is what we call our skin, 'cause it's tougher than iron!
Inuyasha: right… I knew that…
Sesshomaru: hmph… (resists strong urge to roll eyes at stupid remark)
(in the ring)
Ulquiorra: I'd been hoping for a far better fight… ah, well, a human is a human to the last, I suppose. …… good bye, Jakotsu… and good riddance (slams Jakotsu in chest with right leg, making a nice big hole through his gut in the crowd, Grimmjow winces)
Jakotsu: cough (goes flying into opposite side of arena) ow… sigh… yet another rejects me… sigh…
Ulquiorra: how did this human survive…?
Jakotsu: Heh, you miscalculated a bit, didn't you? We of the Band of Seven can't be killed that easily.
Ulquiorra: is that so? Very well, then. (fires a cero) die, trash.
Jakotsu: yaaaiii! (head gets blown off) ow… (turns to bone)
Ulquiorra: …………… (walks over and picks up Shikon Shard, then pockets it this will be important later!)
Announcer: And… Ulquiorra wins!! sigh And here I was worried the weird zombie freak would win… Next and final match of the Quarterfinals (due to IY and Sesshy killing each other) is Aoshi vs. Sasuke! (Sesshomaru and Inuyasha glare at him, Inuyasha growling menacingly) eh… did I say that one part out loud…?
(in the crowd)
Bankotsu: rrrrr! I'm gonna kill that wannabe-vampire freak! Let me at 'im!!
Renkotsu: Please, calm yourself, eldest brother! The people organizing this tournament will have him as good as new in no time! Stop!
(sidelines)
Grimmjow: --, I don't know whether to be impressed or disappointed that he survived. Hey! This means we'll be fighting in the semifinals! Whoohoo! I can finally kick his butt without him trying to avoid fighting! At last!
Ulquiorra: (having just returned to sidelines) Don't get your hopes up, baka. (sits down on bench, inspecting shard no one notices, or cares)
END
A/N: told you Jakotsu was gonna get it! I'm a Kurama fan, and there is no freaking way I'm gonna let Ulquiorra lose to a gay zombie! (no offence meant to any gay zombies reading this). Next: Aoshi vs. Sasuke! Enjoy, peoples!