Wow!! That's about all I can say right now. I never actually expected this. My dad told me that he wasn't going to be in Oakdale today. He said that he was heading to Branson. So when I told Luke that I wanted to kiss him I knew that there was no possible way that he was going to see me doing it. But surprisingly I'm actually gonna be happy if he saw me. At least I won't have to hid it one more day. I wont have to ask Luke to hid who he is. He can be him not only when he is around me. But when he is around someone in this town. But if he perhaps didn't see then I think that I will tell him anyway. I mean I think that I'm ready for that step. No more hiding for me. I am going to be me and I wont let dad stand in my way of doing it.
I know that my father has never really liked Luke. In fact he despises him. But I think that if my dad got to know Luke then he might actually like him. But he has to get to know him .He doesn't know him and he judged him when he first met him.
I walk up to my father. Like always he is a little Intimidating. He has a scolding look on his face. I stand there waiting for him to say something. But it didn't seem like he was going to. So I opened my mouth.
"I thought that you were going to Branson."
I said trying to sound as casual as I could.
"I had a change in plans. I wanted to stay here and spend more time with Maddie and you."
"Oh. But you spent the past two months here with us."
"Yeah. Does it hurt to spend more time with you?I'm your father so I think that I could see my son as much as I want to. But I guess that I won't be spending much of my time with you or with Maddie." He said.
"Why not?"
I think that he knows. He knows. I know it.
"Noah don't play stupid. I know that you know that I saw you with that no good Snyder kid. I saw that he kissed him."
I looked down at the ground.
"Noah I thought that we talked about this."
"This? Talk about this? Dad this?"
I said taking offence.
"Yeah this. We talked about this thing."
"OK. Dad this is no thing. This is who I am. You cant handle the that your son is gay. You cant say that I am gay."
"We talked about that we were never going to talk about this ever again. You promised that you would drop these thoughts."
"I cant forget who I am. I just cant. I'm sorry. I know now that I shouldn't have told you that I would drop this. Because I cant drop this. This is who I am. This is the real me dad. I cant hid who I am anymore. I know that you hated me telling you that I was gay the first time. I know by what you put me through. I hated what you did to me. I hated that instead of facing me you sent me away. But this time I wont let you do that. If you cant face it then I wont let you do any harm to me again. So I guess that this is goodbye. I'm sorry that I wasn't the man you want me to me. I'm sorry that I was such a disappointment to you."
I turn to leave.
"Noah."
I turned back around.
"What?"
"I know that I dealt with that wrong. I know but it was the only way that I knew how to deal with it. No father wants to hear that the son that he raised is.."
He paused.
"Is gay."
He continued.
"I was brought up being taught that if your not with a person of a different sex than you are just not cut out to be anything. So when I heard those words
come out of your mouth it just broke my heart. The only way that I could ignore what you said was to send you away. I know that I probably did cause you a lot
of pain and confusion and for that I am so sorry. More than you can ever imagine. You, Noah are my son and I should have understood what you were going through.
I wish that somehow I could take back all of the things that I did to you. So I want you to know that if you decided to be gay then I cant do anything about it.
Except tell you that it will take time for me to get use to it but I do want to tell you that I will accept it in my own time."
" Are you OK?"
"Yeah. Why do you ask?"
"You just told me that you were OK with this."
"I know. I know that I shouldn't' have done everything that I did and I should have just let you live your life the way you wanted to live it. It's you life. I'm just learning that. It's your life you should be able to live it the way you want to. And with who you want to."
"WOW! I didn't expect that."
"Why not?" He asked.
"Because you never believed that being gay was a life style. It was so confusing to me when I was forced back into the closet. But when I came here and met Luke he made me face that I cant just push who I am aside. That I couldn't let you do that to me again. I knew when I came here that it was suppose to make me change my mind about being gay but it only made me face the truth. I am glad that I came here. I am. In someway I am thankful for you for making me go through boot camp." I said taking a seat on a near by bench.
"I would be thankful for that." He said taking a seat next to me.
"Well I am. If it wasn't for you then I probably never would be here. I probably be back in Branson with Nick. I thank you for that. I would have never came here and met Luke if you didn't have some part of me. Nick and I broke up because I would tell you that I was gay. It was the biggest heart break that I ever had to face. But then a couple of days later I told you. And you know the rest from there. But I do thank you. Thank you. " I said.
"I don't deserve to be thanked."
I weakly smile at him.
"So. You and Luke are you a couple?"
"Um..Yeah. We made it official today. We told Maddie this afternoon that we wanted to be together."
I told him.
"Oh. OK."
I cant believe that my dad is being so cool about this. I know that there has to be some kind of catch here. There just has to be. He cant have changed in almost a year. It is impossible for the man I know to change his mind about gay people. I know that he has always hated the fact that I was gay. And he have always hated gay people. I just need an explanation here. I am a little confused. I guess that Luke could help me understand what just happened.
I get up.
"Dad I have to go. Thank you for.. Understanding." I said.
"OK. See you later?" He asked me getting up.
"OK." I said.
I turned around and walked away. Can this day get anymore weird? Can it?