Weeks later, three before prom to be exact, Sharpay sat in her room on a Saturday, miserable. Her threat to Jeremy had worked. He hadn't come near her or the others since that day in the auditorium. She had won against him, he couldn't hurt her anymore and he couldn't hurt the others either.
But Sharpay was still terrified of him. Any time she saw him in school, no matter how many people were around or where they were, she'd lose her breathe and break out into a cold sweat. Thankfully she didn't have any classes with him or she would have had to stop going. Another good thing was that Jeremy, or anyone else for that matter, didn't know how afraid of him she was. It hadn't been a very big issue for Sharpay. She had only had to deal with it in school and she just had to make sure that she avoided him. The problem was solved.
Then the nightmares started.
Two weeks after Jeremy assaulted her in the parking lot, she was asleep when she dreamed that Jeremy had gotten her into his car and was raping her. Her brother and his friends were outside of the car laughing and joking while she screamed and cried as loud as she could. Even though they were right next to the car, they couldn't hear her cries for help. She woke up struggling against her bedspread screaming.
Realizing that it was a dream, she calmed herself down, but couldn't go back to sleep that night. Thankfully, her parent's room was on the other side of the house from hers, and Ryan had gone away for the weekend. She didn't know what excuse she would have given to explain her nightmares. There wasn't a chance in hell that she was going to tell him the truth. If he knew, then he would to her to get help, then her parents would find out, and then all hell would break loose. That was something that Sharpay didn't want to deal with.
Then the dreams kept happening. Not wanting Ryan to hear her screaming in the middle of the night, every night, she waited for the house to get quiet, then she would sleep in an unoccupied room in the house. She tried to stay up as long as she could, drinking coffee, reading a book, watching TV, anything to stay up. She'd fall asleep eventually, only to wake up later screaming. Then, in school, she'd be exhausted from lack of sleep, but was too afraid to fall asleep because of the fear of having her nightmare.
That was why she sat in her room, miserable. She was exhausted but she knew that if she gave into it, she would have her nightmare and Ryan would hear her. She had stopped taking the coffee because it made her jittery. She hadn't slept since two nights before, which had only lasted for a few hours before she had the dream again. Sharpay was running on less than empty and she prayed that Ryan would leave for the day. With him and her parents gone, she would be able to sleep and not worry about someone hearing her scream. Sharpay hoped that she would be too tired to dream.
In an effort to fight off her exhaustion, she got up and started to pace. Maybe walking might give her some energy.
Someone knocked and her door and opened it. It was Ryan.
"Everyone is coming over here in a little while, then we're going to the movies. Do you want to join us?"
Everyone meant Zeke and Odette. Shaking her head, she told her brother, "No, that's alright."
Ryan gave an aggravated sigh. "Why do you keep doing this?"
"Doing what," she asked him, knowing where the conversation was going.
"What is so wrong with us that you can't even bring yourself to be around us? Are you really that stuck up that you won't even accept friendship from the only people in school who want anything to do with you?"
Her brother's words hurt more than anyone would think they would, but she answered, "No, I'm not being stuck up. I just don't want to go anywhere."
"Don't give me that. After what happened, I thought that you might actually change and get your nose out of the air, but I thought wrong."
Sharpay was too tired to argue. "I don't have my nose in the air," she told him. "I'm just very tired right now and I don't want to go anywhere. Plus, I don't want to be a third wheel. And," she added. "Odette doesn't like me at all."
Her explanation didn't seem to satisfy Ryan. "Bull shit, Sharpay. Everyone, even me, thought you had changed, but you haven't. You're still that conniving, sneaky person that you've always been. Where do you go every night?"
"What," she asked, surprised. She had always waited to leave her room until Ryan was asleep; at least she thought he was asleep.
"Surprised," her brother asked. "I see you every night leaving you're room to go only God knows where when you think I'm asleep. I don't even want to know what you're doing."
"Its not like that," she tried to tell her brother, but he cut her off.
"I don't want to hear whatever lie you have. But you're right about one thing," he said meanly to her. "Odette can't stand you. She doesn't say anything in front of me because you're my sister. But do you want to know what she thinks?" Before she could answer, he continued. "She thinks that you and Jeremy set that all up. That you let him hit you just for the effect of it. You usually don't stay after school, so why were you there that day? And that's not all. She says that you got into Zeke's car on purpose just so you could try and make a move on him. I didn't believe it at first, but now, you avoid us and when you do have to be around, you won't even look at Zeke." He gave a bitter laugh. "You never cease to amaze me. I wonder what you gave him in return for going along with your plan." The way he said it didn't leave any doubt what he thought Jeremy 'got in return.'
Sharpay stood motionless as she stared at her brother. So that's what he really thought had happened between her and Jeremy. That hurt more than she thought possible. She knew that if her own brother thought that, then that's what the others were thinking too. Including Zeke. She wished she didn't care, she wished that what her brother just said didn't feel like he had just stabbed her.
At her shocked silence, Ryan's face changed. "Sharpay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that you had-"
"Its alright," she told him, clearing her throat, trying to push back the lump she felt. "You shouldn't ever be sorry for what you think."
"I was just mad," her brother tried to say. "I didn't mean-"
He stopped when she shook her head. "I told you," she said to him. "Its alright. Of course you're right. I've spent my whole life doing those kind of things and I've never done anything to make you think that it wasn't true. You have every right to think that." Seeing that her brother would protest, she said, "Thank you for the invite, but I really am tired. I'm just going to lie down for a little while. I'll see you when you get back."
She watched as her brother opened his mouth to say something and close it a few times, then he turned and left the room, closing the door on his way out.
Sharpay wasn't going to cry. She had spent the last few months of her life doing nothing but crying. She wasn't about to start again. She couldn't believe that Ryan actually thought that she had convinced Jeremy to act like her was assaulting her. She couldn't blame him for the rest though. Hadn't she done what he accused her of? She had made a move on Zeke, just like Ryan and Odette had thought. It shouldn't be a surprise that they didn't believe her about anything else.
Sharpay came to a decision then. She had been thinking about it with growing frequency. Now, with Ryan's words still fresh in her mind, she knew that it was her only choice. Going to her telephone, she quickly dialed a number and waited for someone to answer. When they did, she said, "Hey Grandma, can I ask you a favor…"
--
A short while later, Sharpay was finally…she wasn't happy, but she was content for the first time in a long while. After talking to her grandmother, things finally started to look up for Sharpay.
She was drawn out of her thinking when she heard laughing and talking coming from her window. Walking over, she looked out. Seeing who it was, she quickly stepped back from view. Zeke and the others had arrived and it looked like they were going to be there for a little while. She heard Zeke's voice and wanted to go to the window to watch him, but stopped herself. If she was caught watching them, then they would think that she was spying on them or they would invite her to join them.
Sharpay sighed. She didn't want that, but she couldn't close her window either, or they would still see her and invite her, or they would think she was being rude. They already thought enough about her; she didn't want them to think anymore than what they already did. She was supposed to be sleep anyway. If Ryan knew that she was up, he wouldn't stop until she went with them, or he wouldn't stop apologizing until he was blue in the face.
Dropping onto her bed, she decided to wait until they left. Hopefully, they wouldn't be to long, and she could get some sleep before Ryan got back.
Being as quiet as possible, Sharpay had waited for almost an hour for her brother to leave, when her door opened and Odette walked in.
She stopped short when she saw Sharpay staring at her. "I thought this was the bathroom, I must have taken a wrong turn."
And the light pink door with the S on it didn't let her know what room it was?
Sharpay struggled not to cut her eyes at the girl. She had come to her room for a reason. Odette hadn't moved from her spot, and Sharpay couldn't figure out why she was still in her room. Staring at the girl, she waited for her to leave.
"Ryan said that you were sleeping," Odette told her.
Sharpay came alert instantly. If Odette had thought she was sleep, then why had she come into her room? She wouldn't be surprised if the girl had a pair of scissors behind her back ready to hack all of her hair off.
"I'm not now," Sharpay told her. "Is there something that you want?"
Odette cut her eyes at Sharpay. "I want you to stay away from Zeke."
Sharpay didn't outwardly react. "Last I checked, I haven't been around him."
"Please," Odette said scornfully. "I see the way you look at him when you think no one is looking. He moved on and got over you. Why don't you just do the same?"
Not having time to deal with the girl, Sharpay said, "I've left Zeke alone. I haven't spoken to him in weeks and I stay away from all of you. What more do you want?"
"For you to be gone," Odette told her bluntly. "What's the purpose of you being here? Your own brother doesn't even want to be around you. Why don't you just take the hint and fall off the face of the Earth?"
"I'm sorry that you don't want me around, Odette, but I'm not leaving my home just because you want me to."
Getting angry, Odette changed the subject. "You're really pathetic, do you know that? Now that Zeke isn't chasing after you, you chase after him. And what makes it sad is that you make it so obvious. He has me, he doesn't want you, move on with your life. Do you know that you're the joke of the school," she said with an evil laugh. "You have no friends whatsoever, you eat alone, and no one wants you around them. I'm sure no one is going to miss you if you vanished, so why don't you take my advice and just disappear? You'd be doing everyone a great favor." Walking to the door Odette looked back at Sharpay with a glare and said, "Like I told you before, stay away from Zeke." With that, she sailed out of Sharpay's room and slammed the door behind her.
Odette hadn't told Sharpay anything that she hadn't known before. So why did it hurt all the same? She wasn't angry with Odette. If she had Zeke then she would be doing the same things that Odette was.
Going over to her window, she watched as Odette rejoined the group. "Sorry," she heard the girl say. "I got a little lost."
Lying bitch, Sharpay thought, but kept her thoughts to herself. She glanced at her brother when he said, "Are you guys ready? The movie is going to start soon." She watched as they all left the pool area, laughing and talking the whole time. After waiting a few minutes to make sure that they had left, Sharpay closed her window and went to her bed. Closing her eyes, she was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
--
Sharpay was walking to her car and Jeremy suddenly appeared in front of her and dragged her to his car. She pushed and hit and at him, but it was no use. She wasn't able to break free of his grasp. She couldn't believe that no one could hear her screaming. She was crying out for help and screaming for him to let her go. How could anyone not hear that? Then, she was suddenly she was lying down in a back of a car, Jeremy over her, pulling at her clothes.
"No one is going to believe you," he said as he pushed her fighting hands out of the way. "Not even your brother."
That was when the dream changed.
Usually, she would look out the window and see Ryan and the others talking, not able to hear her screams less than two feet away. This time, however, she looked out of the window, instead of not hearing her cries; everyone was looking inside the car at her and Jeremy. They all were yelling, "whore," and "tramp."
"Liar," she heard Zeke yell threw the glass. "You planned this."
"No I didn't," she yelled back at them. Turning back to Jeremy, she continued to fight him. "Stop," she screamed. "Let go of me Jeremy! Get off of me!"
As he continued to rip away her clothes he yelled "Sharpay," into her face. His grip seemed to tighten on her even though she knew it was a dream. "Wake up," she heard Jeremy yell.
Sitting up abruptly, Sharpay swung out in front of her as she screamed, "No!" That was how she usually woke. Screaming and swinging at someone who really wasn't there. What wasn't usual however, was that someone caught the hand that she had swung.
Claming down, she realized that someone was hugging her and rubbing her back in a soothing way.
Leaning away from them, she saw that it was Zeke.
You can't be here.
She was able to keep the comment to herself. "Oh…hi Zeke," she said, acting like nothing just happened.
"How long," he asked as he looked at her intensely.
"How long what," she said casually.
"How long have you been dreaming that Jeremy was attacking you?"
"Oh, that," she told him with false cheerfulness. "I was acting." Even her own brother believed it, so why wouldn't Zeke? "I saw you coming up the stairs and I wanted you in my room. And it worked."
Zeke's dark brown eyes stared so deeply into hers, Sharpay thought that he could read all of her thoughts. "You're lying. Tell me the truth. How long have you been having these dreams?"
She had to make Zeke believe her. Even though she couldn't stand her, Odette cared for Zeke and he was best with her. Sharpay was determined to make him think the worst of her so he wouldn't ever have problems with Odette again.
"I'm not lying," she told him as she scooted away. "I know that everyone else is somewhere around here, and when they come looking for you, they'll see you in my room and Odette will break up with you. It's a prefect plan."
Making an angry sound, Zeke got off the bed and stared at Sharpay. Good, Sharpay thought as her heart broken once again. He would think that she was still the conniving person that she used to be and stay away from her. Then he wouldn't have any more problems with Odette and-
"If you think that I'm dumb enough to believe that, then you aren't as smart as I thought you were," he told her evenly.
"Why shouldn't you believe it," she asked innocently.
"For one, why would you tell me what your plan was?"
Oh. She hadn't thought that far ahead.
Before she could make up an answer, he said, "And two, you would have thrown yourself into me and cried or whatever it is that girls do when they fake things like that. You got away from me as fast as you could. I'm not going to ask you again. How long have you been having those dreams?"
Why couldn't he just think badly of her like everyone else did? No matter what she did or said, he still wouldn't turn away from her liked she wished he would. She tried to quickly think of something that would make him believe what she was saying, but when she looked at him, she knew it wouldn't work.
Sharpay was tired of acting like things were alright when it was all crumbing down around her. She was tired of crying, tired of being afraid, tired of…everything. If Zeke wanted to help her for the time being, then she would let him help her.
Taking a deep breath, she said, "Since about two weeks after it happened. Every time I would go to sleep, I would have the same nightmare."
"So you've been having this nightmare every night for over a month," he asked her, amazed.
She shook her head. "Only when I go to sleep."
Sitting on the edge of her bed, he looked at her and said, "What do you mean, 'only when you go to sleep?' You haven't been sleeping every night?"
"No," she said. "I wake up screaming every time I do, so I try to stay up until I can't fight it anymore."
"When was the last time you went to sleep?" Sharpay could tell by his tone that he wouldn't have her lying about it.
"Two days ago, I think. Maybe three. I'm not exactly sure anymore."
"How long do you usually sleep before your…nightmare wakes you up?"
Sharpay thought about it. "Three, sometime four hours. I can't sleep in school because everyone will think I'm crazy if I wake up screaming." After she said that, she stopped short at a thought. "How did you know that my nightmare was about Jeremy?"
"Because," he said emotionally. "You weren't just screaming, you were yelling, 'No, stop. Let me go Jeremy.' You didn't know that?"
She shook her head again. How long had she been doing that? She had only awakened to her own screams, never her yelling anything. Now she was really grateful that she hadn't ever fallen asleep in class.
"Why haven't you gone to see someone about this?" She was positive that Zeke sounded angry with her.
"Because if I did, then Ryan and my parents would find out-"
"Ryan doesn't know," he cut her off. If he was angry before, he was furious now. "Why the hell not?"
"Because then, just like you, he would want me to get help and then my parents would find out about it and then it would be all down hill from there."
Zeke was quiet for a moment, then looked at her confusedly. "How can he not hear you screaming? I heard you halfway up the stairs and Ryan's room is just a few doors down from yours."
"After everyone goes to sleep, I go to a guest room in a vacant part of the house." Or she thought that everyone was asleep. "The house is big enough so Ryan or my parents won't hear me."
"You have to tell Ryan, I can-" he stopped short when she started to shake her head furiously at the idea.
"I can't tell Ryan." Not anymore.
"Why not," Zeke asked, outraged. "You didn't do anything wrong. I can do it with you if you want."
"Its not that," she said, glumly. "Ryan got upset earlier today when I said that I didn't want to go to the movies with you and everyone else. He said that I am still the sneaky person that I always was and that he wouldn't be surprised if I really did plan what happened with Jeremy and he could only wonder how I repaid him."
Zeke was shocked silent. "I think I just might break your brother's nose." After that, he got up and started to walk to the door.
Quickly leaving her bed and reaching him, Sharpay put an hand on his arm to stop him. "No, you can't" she told him. "Ryan was just angry, that's all. I know that he didn't mean it. But if you tell him that I was having a nightmare that he never knew about and that you were conveniently here to wake me up from, he'll think that he was right and never trust me again."
"Has Jeremy been bothering?"
"No," she told him, shaking her head. "Not since he tried to frighten me in the auditorium. I guess that I really scared him. He hasn't come near me since." Saying that, Sharpay turned and walked to her bed. Sitting down, she watched as Zeke sat down next to her.
"Has anything else like your dreams been bothering you?"
"No," she said quickly, and wanted to kick herself.
"I wish you would stop lying to me, you aren't very good at it." Zeke waited patiently for Sharpay to tell what she didn't want anyone to know. Why did he care so much, she wondered. She immediately knew the answer. Zeke was the sweetest person that she had ever known. The only time she had seen him lose his temper was when she had gotten drunk and said those stupid things to him.
"I have…panic attacks when I see him. He doesn't even have to be around me and I have them. He could be down the hall and I start to shake and it gets hard for me to breathe."
"Sharpay, you have to tell someone about this."
Furiously shaking her head, she told him, "No, I don't. It's not that big of a deal."
Zeke looked at her as if he thought she had lost her mind. "And you call having panic attacks at the mere sight of someone and not sleeping, 'not a big deal'?"
"It's not," she repeated. "I only have panic attacks when I see him. If I leave then I'm fine again after a few minutes. And I do sleep. Not a lot, but I sleep."
"And six hours in three days is enough sleep to you?"
Ignoring the sarcasm, Sharpay said, "It's April, and school ends in May. Then everyone is going to go off to college and I won't ever have to worry about Jeremy again. I've been doing this for over a month, a little more won't hurt."
"Anyone can look at you and tell that you're exhausted. What if you're nightmares don't go away. You still have the summer to get threw before you go to college."
"Not if I take summer classes after graduation," Sharpay said quietly.
"You're leaving after graduation?"
Was that sadness in his voice? Maybe he really did-. Sharpay stopped that thinking immediately. False hope only lead to a very real let down. Shrugging, she said, "There's no reason for me to stay. And if I take summer classes, then I can be prepared for fall semester."
Zeke was quiet. Good, she thought. I won the argument. Now I just have to get him out of my room-
"What if you fall asleep in class," he asked her. "You could start screaming and talking. Everyone is going to know. What are you going to do then?"
She sighed. He wasn't going to let this go.
"If that happens, then I'll deal with it. No one would believe it anyway. They'll all think that I'm doing it for attention. People do already," she mumbled the last.
Zeke heard her anyway. "You're brother didn't mean it. You even said that yourself. He was just angry I guess. But you need to get help Sharpay. What if you still have nightmares when you go to school? What then?"
"Then I'll get help there. Ryan is going to a different college than me, and they can't tell my parents that stuff. I'm not letting them know." Changing the subject, she said, "You should go. The others are going to wonder where you are. You've spent enough time up here already."
Shaking his head, Zeke told her, "They all went home after the movie. I forgot my phone here. After I dropped Odette off, I came back to get it and the maid said she put it in Ryan's room." He stopped and thought. "Why don't they hear you screaming?"
"They do. I just tell them that I'm practicing for a role and to ignore me." She said simply. "Ryan is going to look for you, you should go."
Zeke rolled his eyes. "He's down there with Martha. I could be up here for hours and as long as Martha is with him, he won't notice. They're still beating around the bush. It's annoyed the hell out of everyone."
Sharpay smiled as she thought about her brother and his almost girlfriend.
"I like it when you smile. You barely do it anymore."
She would have smiled for the rest of her life if it made him happy. Instead of doing that, she shrugged. "I haven't had much to smile about lately." Leaning against him, she hugged him tightly. "Thank you for trying to help, but I know what I should do. You're a wonderful friend." Giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, she released him and she said, "Go and get your phone. Someone important might call."
Looking like he wanted to say more, Zeke walked to her door. Glancing back at her, he gave her a small, reassuring smile, and left her room, closing the door quietly behind him.
Lying back in her bed, Sharpay looked at the ceiling, sleep the last thing on her mind.