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Ah. Even my hint hadn't gone down too well, it seems. Her eyes wide, she stared at me in confusion. Eventually, a question slipped from her lips: "What?"

I hadn't felt comfortable telling her that it was her turn…there is no polite way of asking a woman to remove her shirt for even the purest of purposes. Then again…how pure could the purpose be if it involved such a thing? All I had done was hint that I wished to check her wounds, and she had become afraid. That wasn't how it was supposed to be, but I was a fool for believing that it would be any other way, I suppose. If I had felt perverted before…I felt even more so for what I had done next…

I have good reason for doing what I did. I knew that if I didn't look at her wounds, then she wouldn't do it herself. Elena would continue pretending that nothing was wrong, and I couldn't allow that. I couldn't watch her force this suffering upon herself for the purpose of appearing tough. So you see, I carried out this next action for her benefit, although that may seem hard to believe. Yes, you may scoff, and pass it off as just another excuse to see her in such a vulnerable state, but I know that I did the right thing…

With no warning, nor with any hint or sign, I had moved closer to her, gently removing her jacket. Next I had moved on to unbuttoning her shirt. That certainly didn't go down well…but I got off lightly. I was expecting her to hit me, but she sat there in what looked like utter confusion and fear.

"W-w…what…what the hell are you doing?!"

She would certainly hate me after this, I feared…but yet I didn't stop.

"I will do nothing indecent…I know your injuries are serious. I just want to take a look, alright…?" Was I honestly foolish enough to believe that she would just say: 'Alright, then!' and allow me to continue? She would do no such thing…

"Not alright!!"

I then tried to explain again, already knowing that I had lost any of her trust that I had managed to gain just by doing this. "There's a lot of blood on your shirt, and on mine, too. It's worried me…I'm treating those wounds, Elena… You insisted that you tend to mine, and you did so. I'm returning the favor."

That had silenced her, giving me the opportunity to slip her shirt off, allowing it to fall to the bed. Strangely, she had made no protest, and had allowed me to do that. Maybe she finally understood...just maybe...

"I-…I…"

Placing one finger gently on her lips to silence her, I shook my head. I hated having to see her sit there in such fear and confusion, especially as I had been the one to cause it…but I had to do this. It was only when I looked away from her face and down at her body that I too, froze. It was just like her reaction to when she had seen me shirtless…I felt that staring at her in such a way was wrong, but I couldn't control it. I cannot be sure of what was running through my mind just then as I admired her, taking in every feature down to the last gentle curve. With her pale skin, soft blonde hair and wide honey eyes, she reminded me somewhat of some flawless doll. I'll admit that she did...appear...beautiful, I suppose...now that I had seen more... My eyes continued to take in her appearance, and came to the pale outlines of the scars that covered her body from the torture that she and Tseng had suffered in the Northern Crater. Ah...Tseng. Her love interest...the one she wanted. He, and not I...but why did I care? Why did I care about the situation between she and her superior? The dark-haired Wutaian who had turned a blind eye to her feelings so many times? Who had left her standing there with her heart in her hand? The man who had cast her feelings aside and ignored them...ignored her as she did all that was in her power to get his attention? The situation between those two Turks was none of my concern, so why was I thinking about it in such depth? Maybe my thoughts were something along these lines: 'He doesn't like her in such a way. He doesn't love her. He couldn't care less about the girl...so what had he done to deserve her heart and her attentions? Surely I should be the one to get that attention from her...? By now, I must have proved that I care about her more than Tseng ever could...more than Tseng ever would...so why does she not offer her heart to me with such hope and wanting as she does to him? I would accept it without hesitation. Why does she not offer her love to me?' But...her heart and her love...they were not things that I had ever wanted. What had I ever wanted from her? Nothing, surely? I didn't know what it was about her...but ever since the Northern Crater 'incident', I had felt strange things around her...I had thought strange thoughts...asked myself strange questions, and so on. These things had been so much easier to ignore and cast aside, as she and I had never been in a situation where we would have to work together or pay any mind to each other...but those times were gone. Right now, we were (in a way) working together. Right now, we were paying mind to each other, and realizing the other's existence. My thoughts and feelings had been much less complicated and confused when she was just a Turk and I was just with AVALANCHE, but those days were over. Nothing was 'just' anything anymore, except for me. I was 'just' confused, I suppose. I was 'just' in a situation where now, I 'just' wanted nothing more than to touch her. I 'just' wanted to do more than that, as well...

I wish I could explain what I was thinking and feeling in those moments there, but sadly, even I cannot understand. Nor can I remember what I was thinking when I placed my hands on her shoulders, gently sliding my hands down her arms and feeling her tremble beneath my touch. It was a wonderful feeling…but I was disgusted with myself for enjoying her fear in such a way. My thoughts had resulted in me momentarily forgetting about her wounds...that is, until she flinched as my hand slid down her left arm. "I…I'm sorry." What had come over me to cause me to think in such a way? To do such things? It seemed that spending time with Elena was resulting in more confusion...more unanswered questions. What was happening?

And so I left my cruel fantasies behind as I now concentrated on aiding her, treating her left arm as best as I could. Her left arm was full of bullets, and so for now, was useless. I could tell that she had put a lot of strain on it and forced it to function, due to the fact that it no longer would for now...and chances were that her left arm would not function normally for quite a while. I heard her pained whimper as I removed the bullets, and I felt her body twitch as I applied antiseptic. For now, the only other thing I could do was to bandage her arm, and hope for the best...and I did so. Afterwards, I moved my attention to the bullet holes in her back and shoulder. Simple to tend to, yes…but I would have to risk hurting her again in order to help. "You'll hate me for this, Elena." I murmured softly, examining the injuries. "But I'll make it up to you."

"W-w-...what?"

"Hold still."

"W-…" Her question was silenced when I began to remove the bullets from her body. She hissed in either anger or pain, tensing and shutting her eyes tightly. "Don't…!"

"Ssh..." I whispered, pitying her, but not pausing for one moment. Ignoring her quiet gasps of pain, I finally finished removing all of the bullets, dropping them on to the bed beside me. (I was unsure of what else I could really do with them, in all honesty.) Applying antiseptic to each of the bullet holes, I gently touched her shoulder in order to assure her that I had finished with the bullets. Feeling her relax a little beneath me, I couldn't help but smile at least a little...but I wasn't completely finished with her yet. I looked her up and down, trying to find any more injuries. I found the final ones: a series of large grazes on her side, which had scraped quite a bit of her skin on her side raw. I assumed that this traveled down to her leg, which would explain why she was having difficulty walking…or even standing. "Um…"

How would I ask this next question…? Removing her shirt had been difficult enough…

I would have to hint again. I gulped nervously, gently placing my hand over the large grazes (gently so as not to hurt her) I slowly ran my hand down her side, feeling her silky skin and loathing the injury for not allowing me a better grip on her. I stopped a her waist, and then looked to her, trying to hint that if I were to treat it, she would have to allow me to proceed further. Oh, how she would hate me... the look on her face said it all. 'You can't be serious?!' seemed to be almost painted on her face, as though begging me to tell her that this was some sort of joke.

"I'm sorry...um..."

"You-...you're kidding, right? You've gotta be kidding!"

"I'm afraid not."

"Why can't I just do this myself?!"

"Because I know that you won't...you'd lie and carry on with the wound...or at least try to. I imagine that the injury you have there wouldn't allow you to get very far. You would be in no fit state to go and find your friends...and if that bastard found you again, you would be in no condition to fight back. So that is why if I tend to this now, all that you would need is rest rather than a hospital bed."

Well, she seemed to understand. Almost. The words 'hospital bed' didn't seem to appeal to her very much, as she hesitated for a moment, before shutting her eyes and slowly removing the rest of her uniform. Believe me, this was as difficult for me to witness as it was for her to do it. It was all I could do to stop those confusing thoughts from returning. Now that she was so exposed to me, she didn't seem to want to so much as look at me, and so she kept her eyes shut.

"Thank you..." I heard myself mutter as I observed her wound. As I had thought, the skin from just below her waist down to her knee had been scraped raw, and was releasing blood. I assumed that if I touched the wound, it would hurt her...but it would only be for a moment. I proceeded to clean the scrape, feeling her twitch and hearing her whimpers of discomfort. I tried to ignore them. I couldn't leave the scrape the way it was, or else it would get worse. Once it was cleaned, I covered it up with yet another bandage. I was finished, but her eyes were still shut...so I used this an an oppertunity to get a better look at her again.

Soft, pale skin with ghostly outlines of scars in even the most uncomfortable of places. Those scars were no doubt, a haunting memory of a time full of fear. Her frame was slender, small, and the perfect size to wrap my arms right around and hold her close. I knew that I would not be able to...and...would I ever want to? Ah, there they were again. Yet more questions. Pushing them aside, I looked at her again. My gaze lingered on her chest..(yes, by now I felt extremely perverted...I couldn't control it. I didn't know what had come over me in that moment. This...this isn't like me at all.) I couldn't seem to tear my gaze away from her chest...her breasts were the perfect size and shape. Luckily, she was wearing a bra, or else...I don't know what I would have done. I couldn't seem to control myself right now. My gaze wandered further down, past her waist, to her thighs. A place where I would never be admitted entrance, no doubt. In this moment, she was...attractive. Vulnerable. Unaware of my longing gaze on her body...

Why was I longing? What was I longing for?

Why did I only seem interested in the more...sensitive...parts of her body?

I couldn't help myself...I softly brushed by fingers against the tender skin of her inner thigh. I would move no higher than that... She tensed, biting her bottom lip, and so I ceased and moved my hand to stroke some hair out of her face, I muttered: "All done." I couldn't stand this situation any longer...I know that my thoughts of her were bad...I know that I was wrong to watch her in such a way, but...as I have said before: control isn't something that I have right now. You may think that I am making excuses. Perhaps I was. Whatever I was feeling in that moment, I was either unaware of, or just too ashamed to admit to myself. Before I had the chance to decide, those sweet, gentle honey eyes soon opened, and gazed over at me. Me, and nothing else. I was suddenly very aware of her looking and me, and felt the need to look away.

I was right...she truly was...beautiful.

Too beautiful...